Chapter Two
I woke up with a loud gasp of air from my lungs as I opened my eyes. I felt my heart stopped for a millisecond as it went back to normal.
I swallowed the lump on my throat as my blurry vision of people with white clothes.
It was Doctora Hannabella Ramos. A bitter smile crept up to my face as I see the familiar nurses and our family doctor in panic.
"Y-yes... I can hear you, Doc."
This is it, I'm back here again. With my abnormal heart rates a minute. I feel so tired as darkness pulled me back to sleep.
"I'm really sorry, Tita. It was me who--"
"Hijo, Caleb, walang may kasalanan. Ako na ang bahala kay MJ, you can go now and take your rests. It getting late," dinig ko ang malumanay na boses ni Mama.
"We're really sorry, Tita. Balik po kami bukas. Sorry po talaga." it was Astrid's voice.
"Sige." Mama's voice said.
Minulat ko ang mga mata ko at nakita ang pamilyar na puting kisame. I looked at my body under the comforter of the hospital just to see my body enveloped by a hospital gown.
Palagi na lang. Can't I live without being like this? Can I just live without going back and forth to hospital every year? Or at least... can I live without going to a hospital just for a year?
Nakakainis. Nakaka-putangina. Sa lahat ng tao, ba't ako? What did I do wrong to deserve all of these?
Can't I live without this stupid Paroxismal Supra-fucking-ventricular Tachycardia?
"It seems like she's been having episodes for the past few weeks. Am I right, MJ?"
Doc Ramos asked me the next day. Seven AM in the morning and this is where you'd wake up.
I nodded and evaded their eyes but Lola Mirasol's. She smiled at me though pity was visible in her eyes. Nag-iwas ako ng tingin. I'm tired of people looking at me with pity in their eyes every time they see me inside a hospital.
"Why didn't you tell us? You could've just text me..." Mama asked me.
Umiling ako at nag-iwas ng tingin sa kanila. "Nawawala naman po agad."
"Kahit na, MJ." Papa stood up and went to me to caress my hand.
"I did maneuvers, Papa. It was effective, nawawala naman agad so I just let I all slip away," I reasoned.
Truth is, I'm tired of seeing hospital shits.
"Let's be thankful something bad didn't happen. Next time, MJ, tell us if you are going through an episode." Doctora said.
Papa went out to talk with the doctor. Naiwan ako kina Mama at Lola Mirasol na tahimik lang nakaupo sa sofa. Naupo si Mama sa tabi ko at hinagod ang aking likod. I'll be discharged today.
"'Nak, I know this has been very hard for you to go through. Pero, MJ anak, help us save you."
I don't wanna be saved, Mama. I'm tired of trying to save myself and failing in the end.
"Sorry, po," I said instead.
Pumasok ako kinabukasan. Dinalaw ako kahapon nina Caleb. Natawa ako sa kaniya kasi he kept on saying sorry. I said it was okay 'coz it was mormal for me to have an abnormal heartbeats for I have Arrhythmia.
"Please, just don't act weird in school." I asked them.
"Sige na nga! Bawi ako sainyo, sa bahay ko na lang tayo magcontinue ng discussion bukas," Alabama said nang nagkita kaming tatlo noong Friday.
"Kita nalang tayo sa Starbucks sa labas," Hera offered.
Saturday came and she was late as fuck. Ang awkward ng katahimikan sa pagitan namin ni Hera. Nauna siya sa akin ng five minutes.
"Hehe, ang... awkward," she said and it made the silence more awkward.
I just smile and waited for Alabama more. Kainis naman, she's the only one who makes the atmosphere not awkward cause she's bubbly. I swear I can hear crickets and even the sound of sipping on my frappe is making it more awkward.
"Oh my God! I'm sorry. Nakakahiya, I'm very late." Alabama suddenly appeared. Nakita niya siguro ang paubos na naming frappe ni Hear.
She's an hour late yet I said, "Ayos lang."
"Sorry talaga. Pinilit ko pa kasi ang Kuya ko, under renovation kasi ang bahay namin."
"Ayos lang talaga,"sabay pa naming sabi ni Hera.
"Obviously..."
Alabama was wearing her mustard skater dress with halter neckline. Hera was on her maong jeans, flats, and pink shirt. I was wearing a black V-neck skater dress and flat sandals.
Ayos naman, I'm petite, tall and fair. Kahit minsan nakakainis at naiinsecure. Normal naman 'yon, 'di ba? Insecurities.
Anyway, nag convoy kaming tatlo since dala ang kaniya kaniyang sasakyan. Wala talgang communication. I crinkled my nose as I maneuvered the car to where Alabama headed only to enter the familiar subdivision of Ate Yen's.
Huminto kami sa tapat ng kapit bahay nina Kuya John. The Silveo's house. What a slow mind, MJ! Kitang kitang Silveo ang kagrupo mo, magugulat ka pa?
It all confirmed my thoughts when a man with white tee shirt came out after two loud sirens from Alabama. Sabay kaming lumabas tatlo at nauna si Alabama para batiin ang Kuya niya at halikan ito sa pisngi.
The man looked pissed, though. His hooded eyes and thick meeting eyebrows says it all. Parang ayaw niya sa ideya na may ibang tao sa bahay niya.
Mukhang suplado. Kainis. This isn't how you should welcome guests, 'di ba?
Ano, MJ? You expect him to be friendly, eh kaya nga natagalan iyang kagrupo mo dahil pinilit pa iyong Kuya niya. My little mind said.
Oo nga, tsaka he looks... well, old enough not to be friendly with us graduating students. He should be friends with people the same age as him.
Pero... hindi naman siguro masama to be friend sa mga mas nakababata sa 'yo. It's just age!
"That's your Kuya?" I asked Alabama when I got near.
"Yup..."
"He looks... masungit."
"Oo nga, katakot." Hera added behind me.
"Ganiyan lang talaga mukha niya but, he's very nice and genuine. He just looks suplado and strict, yeah."
I shrugged and finally went inside the gate, the man leading our way. Nasa likod lang kami ni Alabama habang naglalakad, dala ang kaniya kaniyang laptop.
"Make yourselves at home, girls," baritono ng Kuya ni Alabama pagkatapos niya kaming papasukin.
His house was modern and a bit traditional. Kita naman sa labas palang na malaki ito but, it was a lot bigger when you're inside.
The hall has a high ceiling and you would see the people climbing up to the second floor of the house. The theme was clearly brown, black and grey based on the furnitures, paintings and walls.
Sino kayang nag architect nito? 'Di ba? The design was really really beautiful, and suit the man inside a lot.
"Upo na kayo, I'll just get something to eat," itinuro ni Alabama couch na nakaharap sa TV'ng nakadikit sa dingding.
Sa ilang oras namin doon, wala akong napansing tao na pagala gala. Wala silang kasambahay dito. Si Alabama nga lahat ang kumukuha ng mga pagkain.
"Tikman niyo 'tong cake, tutal tapos na tayo sa goal natin for today." Alabama offered.
Dala niya ang isang tray ng buong Blueberry Cheesecake. Inilapag niya iyon sa lamesa at naupo na rin sa sahig gaya namin ni Hera.
"Ikaw nagluto?" tanong ni Hera habang kumukuha ng slice at sumubo. "It's great!"
Alabama smiled arrogantly at her. Sumobo naman ako mula sa plato ni Hera dahil sa reaksyon niya. And man... was it the best! Magaling pala magluto si Alabama!
"If this is the reason why you were late, be late every time we'll have a meet up," sabi ko.
Natawa sila sa sinabi ko. I wasn't exaggerating. It was the truth. Masarap talaga Cheesecake. If ony... I really like it. Considering me, a person na pihikan sa pagkain.
"Yeah, it was the reason why I was late. But, nah. Hindi ako nagbake. It was my Kuya, kaya nga pinilit ko pa siya, e."
"Marunong siya magluto?" tanong ko naman.
Well, it seemed out of character.
She nodded her head. "Yup, he's a chef kasi."
"Huh?" I blurted out. Akala ko ba... CEO?
"Bambi, your brother's here," sabi ng Kuya ni Alabama nang bigla siyang sumulpot sa pinakapintuan ng bahay.
"Oh, yeah," bumaling siya sa amin. "Teka lang, ah."
Tumango lang ako at pinanood silang lumabas ng bahay. Nauna si Alabama at ang Kuya niya ang nagsara ng pintuan. Hindi nakatakas ang itsura ng Kuya niya nang isara ang pinto.
An arrogant smirk was on his face as he looked at me and the door closed.
Napatingin naman ako kay Hera na busy sa pagkain ng inislice niyang cheesecake. My eyes went back to the door.
Was that for me?