I think we all put on masks, not only for ourselves but to please others as well.
I put on a mask, the maids put on a mask, and so does my mother. I feel like she especially does, even with her cruelty, I don't even think I got the full extent of it because she was holding back. Just like she has been doing with everything, just like she does with the world.
I continue to listen to my mother as I see something soften in her, "I wanted to help my family. To be there to make sure we didn't go broke or ever had to experience hardship, so I married young. Your Grandfather was the one with the money and he knew your Father was reckless. He even told me so, before I joined the family officially." She took a deep breathe, drawing her sharp nails across the table.
"I should have known from the start really. It was a red flag to hear that from your Grandfather but yet his money was so grand that I saw through all the warnings. Even as they punched me so graciously in the face and when I finally saw the fist", she took a puff of her vape. "It was too late, I was already stuck in my position, my only job being to keep everything afloat."
I gulped, "Did you ever love Father?" "Once maybe, not even sure if it was actually love because I was so young but maybe it was. I was 18-19 and he was 20-22 at the time. Reckless man he was and still is, I guess I found hope in my arrangement and he found someone to play with. I sometimes think he loved me too at one point but now, I'm not exactly sure what he loved."
My eyes go down to the table, I don't want to quite look her in the eyes right now. Especially when she's like this, it doesn't feel right and it doesn't feel like my mother. But someone else, someone who wants to bargain and still holding something back.
"Mother." "Yes, Victoria?" "Do you, ever regret marrying Father?" I can hear her nails rise off the table as they scratch the wood slightly, a slight hum coming from her voice as it takes a second for her to really answer. She had to ponder on the question, which surprises me. I thought it would be an automatic yes or no but I don't think she's really sure.
"I am in between, part of me does, because I wish I could have discovered who I was without it being forced upon me by a stupid gamble…But the other part doesn't. That other part is stronger than the other and it's why I'm here today, I could have backed down, but I would rather die then be somewhere where I couldn't use my influence. Plus rather if had money or not, people's opinion is strong and majority usually wins over the small. Even if the opinion isn't exactly right. You know that, don't you?"
I nod, I know that too well, and my mother seems to agree. "Exactly, I'm just happy that I have enough influence to be the one to control that majority. People aren't always as they seem and not always obvious? They can be confusing and unpredictable, but most importantly they can be cruel, even more so than you think of me." I raise my head up at her statement, spotting a mere smile across her face, "I know you think I'm cruel Victoria, and you're not completely wrong. I am not the kindest but there are so many worse than me."
She points to a window, "Out there in the world, some are waiting to dig their claws into your skin. Whether by word or by knife if you aren't protected you will fall and you will die. Some might care but most won't and they go for your money and leave your body to rot. Taking your riches as the soil takes you."
My voice starts to sink into my stomach and I feel a chill creep up my spine. Her words cut deep but most importantly this is one of the longest conversations that went on about the world outside and herself. I haven't got to see much outside the mansion but I don't doubt my mother's word of cruel intentions. I do believe there is good but sometimes the evil crowds it.
A door opens up nearby with Kyle and some Lunch Servers leading out a trolley, onto of the sliver tray were two big bowls of tomato basil along with a side of toasted bread. Kyle lead the servers to the middle of the table, taking in a deep breathe, "Lunch is Served! Two Bowls of Tomato Basil along with Toasted Garlic Bread!"
The two servers than went separate ways with our food, one went to me and placed everything in front. Utensils and a mat underneath while the other went to my mother, repeating the same process. My mother didn't say thank you but I did.
"Thank you." I turn to the server, noticing their mask which I didn't pay much attention to at first but I could see it much better now. A mask with a lined smile, identical to the server that served my mother. Are they suppose to be neutral in their loyalty? What does a lined smile mask mean?
"Don't say thank you Victoria, it is their job to serve us. That is what they're hired for." They disperse when my mother waves her hand away, and Kyle leaves too. I set my hands on the table, I'm not exactly hungry but I know I will have to eat something while my mother is present or she'll never let me leave this room.
I sigh, I should atleast wait til I gain some appetite even though I don't exactly have one. I guess I should draw out the conversation as long as I can, while I have the freedom to speak my mind.
"What are the lined smile masks for?"