I take a deep breath, my chest feels lighter and no smoke is in the air. I open my eyes, "Is this real or a dream?" I ask myself knowing no one will respond.
It's dark in the room almost unrecognizable, the only light is a dim bulb, barely shiny but enough for me.
It lies in the distance, supported by an older lamp. One dated a few years back. Guess it's still useful for something. I yawn rubbing the bottom of my eyelids and a stretch follows it. My bones feel hollow and thin, everything feeling much lighter. It's odd but at the time comforting, making it easier for me to get out the bed. And I do so just cautiously, a small creak following as I step onto the floor.
"Maybe the maids moved me? Or was I in bed the whole time and now I'm waking up?" I scratch my head looking around, locking my eyes on the clock. Tick, tock it goes, Tick Tock, it continues to sing, continuing its repetitive song with the hands hiding the numbers behind it.
"What does it say?" I wonder stepping closer, my feet feeling the coldness of the floor with each advance but it doesn't bother me. *Tick, Tock* *Tick Tock* "Tick Tok your clock says…9:45 now 9:46. A minute has passed." I stammer back, "A minute has passed?!" I repeat in horror.
It's approximately 16 minutes after 30. After 9:30, my time ran out. This makes my breath heavy, a deep panic filling me as I pinch my brown skin. I hope it's a dream this time, I hope I didn't sleep through, the letter read, "Don't go to sleep" and I-I went to-it stings.
The pinch stings like a bit of fire but my tears hurt worst. The liquid pouring over and I can't stop it. This is real and not a dream. I missed the person who was waiting for me most likely and they probably won't give me another chance.
I wipe hot tears away making myself stand up, I might be late but maybe they'll give me a grace period? Maybe they're still there and just waiting for me to come. Right? I got to at least check to see, I can't give up with no proof.
I have to check, I just have to. I ball my fists tight taking the chance. Even if I get in trouble, checking will at least put my aching mind at ease. Knowing that I tried, that Rene was still on my mind, and that I fought for her as much as I could.
It will make me feel better even if I failed. In my heart I know I did all I could. I walk to the door, turning the handle slowly and I was quiet with it. Trying not to attract attention as more of the hallway peers out at me, my head peeking out when it's open.
A brighter light fills the hallway and it's barren out, no maid or butler scurrying past. Not even a single guard stalking in the distance. It's good for me yet nerve-racking at the same time. Where is everyone? This is the real question.
I step out, lightly closing the door behind me and making my way down the hallway. It feels much longer now and oddly makes my chest hurt. The anticipation builds as I get closer to the elevator. The fear of someone coming into view is prominent in my mind. Maybe they're just waiting to catch me. Maybe they're in the elevator or at least near it?
Why else would it be so empty here, what could draw the attention of everyone?
"It doesn't fucking matter about what she said I asked you a damn question!" My eyes widen, my words catching at the loud yelling. The voice is familiar and piercing making every inch of me scream with regret. I need to turn around but yet my muscles don't obey my brain.
Continuing down the hall until the elevator door comes into viewpoint. The voice is much clearer now that I'm basically there. It's my father.
"Okay and? I am your superior as well! Just cause she keeps all the money doesn't make me less important! Why the hell are you all just staring at me?! Tell me where she went!"
I inch over to the elevator clicking the button even as his screams echo through my ears. It seems he's a few rooms down but even so it feels like he's right in front of me. Yelling as if I'm the one that he's talking to and it makes me cry again.
*Ding* The elevator shoots open and I hurry in not being able to stop the tears. I can still hear his voice as the elevator closes and the last words that crawl through are, "Is she cheating on me?! Is that why?! Is that fucking why you won't tell me?! Is that bi-!"
The door shuts completely, beginning its descent. My hands shaking from the words I heard, knowing my father was talking about my mother. He always thinks the worst things, like the world is after him and that we are his enemies. That I am.
I know that's why he yells at me, throws me around, and curses Mother under his breath. It's because he's defensive and believes no one is on his side. Which part of me, believes about myself too.
Mother, her puppets, all of them, I even struggle with Charles. Thinking that one day he'll cast me aside too, realize who I am, and curse me just as my father did. Even though Charles is so warm, part of me always awaits for the winter in him. That cold that will strike me in the heart, leaving me to freeze in the isolated weather.
I always doubt intentions unless they're bad.
*Ding* The door opens, and lucky for me no guard waits there either. I guess their all dealing with my father. Lucky for me.
I step out, walking forward as the tears that once fell don't fall anymore. The liquid being dry and stuck on my face. A reminder of the pain I bare every day.
Now I'm just hoping that this person is still there. Hoping that maybe they'll give me some sense of peace and maybe even make coming down here worth something, truly.