Rory closed the door behind them, sliding in the key and locking it. Even with his closest friends watching out for Alaina he didn't trust the drunkards to stop someone from breaking in. Not like anyone would break into a third story apartment anyways, but better to be safe than sorry. Rory drunkenly fiddled with the lock, a curse mumbled under his breath as he almost dropped the keys.
Jude watched him intently from behind and Rory could feel holes being burned into him. He was waiting for the other shoe to drop. As soon as he stepped away from the door it would happen. Jude would finally snap. Jude would finally tell him what a horrible person he was and-
"You're a good brother Rory."
Rory froze at the unexpected proclamation. He had been prepared to be told what a worthless loser he was, or maybe even an attempt at a short intervention. Yet here Jude stood, with confidence behind his words, telling Rory that he was good.
He turned around, wide brown eyes meeting kind blues as he stared at Jude in shock.
When the taller of the two stayed silent for a beat too long, obviously stunned by the sudden words, Jude's cheeks turned a bright scarlet.
"I mean, you sacrifice a lot for your sister and it seems like no one really notices. So, I just wanted too.."
Jude cleared his throat as his explanation of the sappy words trailed off nervously. Without another word he turned on his heels, not waiting for Rory's reply before he started his way down the metal stairs.
Rory's heart was caught in his throat. He didn't deserve to be praised, he knew he didn't. Yet, as soon as the words left Jude's lips Rory could feel a thousand pound weight being lifted from his shoulders. He valued few people's opinions, but Jude's meant the world.
Once his heart caught up with his brain, Rory followed after Jude, his feet making a loud clank against each step as he tried to catch up.
"I thought you were bringing me out here to yell at me."
"Why would I do that?"
"B-because... you saw me... in the bathroom..."
Jude's jaw clenched as he stayed silent, his eyes watching his feet move as they finally met the concrete of the sidewalk. Rory immediately regretted bringing it up. Maybe Jude hadn't seen? Had he just told on himself?
"I care about you Rory."
Was Jude's only response and Rory couldn't help but feel guilty once again. He was hurting Jude. He was hurting Alaina. He couldn't do anything right and the only thing that made him feel better was the main source of that pain.
"I worry about you sometimes. When I'm alone I can't help but think of how your days been or if you're okay or if I could help if I was with you."
Jude's brows knitted as if he'd made some sort of bitter connection in his mind. He waited for Jude to voice his concerns but the words never came.
Rory shrugged before pulling a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, a small lighter tucked into the case that he easily pulled out and used to light the cancer stick. He took a deep drag, the smell of smoke filling his senses as they walked together.
"So, if not to hand my ass to me, why the walk?"
Rory paused in his steps, watching as Jude took a few short steps ahead of him.
"I dunno..." he shrugged, "You looked claustrophobic... I thought maybe a walk would help."
He finally turned to face Rory, staying a few steps ahead as if he was scared to be too close.
"And also I wanted to maybe confess something that's been weighing on my chest for a really, really long time."
Baby blue eyes met asphalt as he avoided Rory's stare.
"Oh, a secret?"
Rory, as oblivious as always, teased Jude with a sly smile and a raised brow before taking another puff.
Jude blushed, rubbing at the back of his neck anxiously.
"Something like that..."
"And who's it about?"
As if his words were a trigger the world around him seemed to somehow glitch.
The vast night sky suddenly shrunk down, turning a familiar beige of four walls surrounding them. The street below them turned to a dirty off white carpet with spatters of blood. The cigarette between his fingers was replaced with a heavy steel pistol that felt unusually familiar in his hand.
When he turned back to Jude the man was no longer standing in front of him but sitting on a small rickety looking bed, his fists clenched nervously into sheets.
Jude was dirtier, his clothes changed from that of a stressed university student to a survivor of something terrible. His boots were so scuffed the ends where peeling. His face and hair were covered in dirt, blood, and scratches and his blue sweatshirt was worn, holes tearing at the hem.
"It's about you..."
This was different than all the other scenes that'd been playing in his head that night. He wasn't just seeing this happen, he was living it. Deja'vu was an understatement for how this felt.
"I've always admired you. I know you think that's ridiculous but... that's just because you're too humble to see yourself like I do."
Rory scoffed, the sound tumbling out of his mouth before his brain could even process what was happening. It was as if his own actions were predetermined, as if he had no choice in the matter.
Rory turned to the short wooden dresser next to the bed, placing the gun inside the drawer like he'd done it a million times before.
"And how's that? Not as the screwed up, uneducated, addict I am? Because that's the truth. If you don't believe that, then you're just fooling yourself."
Jude clenched his jaw, his lips pursed as
Rory announced his horribleness like it were contagious. Jude had to bite his tongue to keep from interrupting the self loathing speech. If he just yelled at Rory that he was wrong the other would only think it was out of pity.
The smaller of the two collected his thoughts, taking a deep breath before counteracting Rory's hateful words.
"You might think those things are who you are, and maybe one day you'll want to change. But..."
Jude finally let go of the sheets that'd been acting as an anchor for him since the moment he showed up in Rory & Alaina's room, and stood to his feet. Baby blue eyes as light as the sky stared into his chocolate browns intently causing Rory's heart beat to accelerate.
"Those things you named don't define who you are. You are hardworking, kind, courageous, funny, and loyal. You're the best person I've ever met, whether you believe me or not."
Jude spoke his words with more certainty than Rory had ever head from the petite man. He stared, wide eyed and taken back for only a moment.
He took a step back, breaking eye contact as he turned away.
"So, you're crazy. Got it."
Rory shook his head, the words sounded like they were meant more for himself than for Jude. As if he had to remind himself that what Jude was saying couldn't possibly be true.
"I wish you could see yourself the way I do."
Rory closed his eyes with a shallow sigh. Jude would wish for something as stupid as that.
"Don't waste wishes on me."
"Look, a shooting star!"
Rory opened his eyes to find he was back in front of his apartment with a less dirty Jude. The blonde pointed at the starry night sky with a wide, toothy smile and luminescent eyes that lit up like the stars themselves.
All thoughts flew out the window at the sight before him, only one word coming to mind as he looked Jude over.
Beautiful.
He hissed as a burning sensation singed his fingers, pulling him out of his trance. He dropped the cigarette he'd already forgotten about and stomped it out with an annoyed huff.
Rory turned to the sky, catching the tail end of a star plummeting towards the earth.
"Did you make a wish?"
Rory asked, images of Jude standing in front him in that beige room flashing threw his mind.
'I wish you could see yourself the way I do.'
"I did."
Jude answered wistfully, his eyes scanning the stars once more before sighing and turning back to Rory.
"Rory... I-"
He paused, his brows knitted.
"You're-"
The struggle Jude was having to communicate was obvious and it only confused Rory more.
"I just-"
Jude never seemed this anxious when talking to Rory, in fact Rory always thought he was the one person Jude wasn't afraid to confess anything to.
They were best friends.
Best friends don't look at each other like that.
Dax's words from earlier echoed in his head and he squeezed his eyes shut in attempt to block it out.
"Do you remember how we met?"
Opening his eyes he was back in the beige room, Jude even closer than he was before as he played with a hole in the bottom of his sweatshirt.
"What?"
Rory asked, taken back by the sudden change in surroundings once again.
"How we met? It was 7th grade, wasn't it?"
Rory tried to remember but it seemed almost impossible, all his memories before high school were blurry and muddled. The only thing he really remembered was being taken away from his parents. He remembered seeing his mother three months pregnant and high off her ass pleading with police while his father was arrested. For what? He doesn't quite remember. Then he was taken away to live in a foster home, only for a little while though. Once Alaina was born and his mother was labelled clean enough to take care of two children he was brought back home.
"I remember how mean the kids and even teachers at school were to you when they found out about your home life..."
That brought back a memory. A memory of Rory sitting in a classroom filled with faces he doesn't remember. A teacher calling him out in front of everyone for zoning out and telling him he'd end up exactly like his father if he didn't stop acting like an idiot now. Then there was Jude, the quiet kid that no one ever had problems with, uncharacteristically standing up in front of the entire class at only 13 years old and declaring that the teacher was the idiot.
'The only reason he'd ever turn out that way was if he kept listening to your big mouth uncontrollably blabber. You're the idiot, not him!'
Rory huffed in amusement at the faint memory, one he thought he'd forgotten a long time ago.
"I tried to stick up for you and you were so mad at me."
Jude chuckled lightly, a picture of both of them sitting outside the principals office waiting to be scorned while Rory yelled at him painting his mind.
"You told me that you didn't need anyone to fight your battles for you. The thing is, you never fought back. You let them say and do whatever they wanted and you never batted an eye. It seemed like you were almost used to being treated like that. I didn't understand..."
Jude finally looked up from the holes in his sweatshirt. Rory could see the fear behind his eyes. Fear of what? He was trying his damnedest to figure that out.
"When you blew up at me that was the moment I knew I didn't want to leave your side. You might've wanted to fight your own battles but I wanted to be beside you to back you up when you needed it."
All the dots in Rory's head began to slowly connect. The anxiety in Jude's motions, the fear in his eyes, the struggle with his words. Jude said he wanted to confess something and it had flown right over Rory's head, it seemed too impossible to even be an option. A confession.
Then, as though someone had whispered it into his ear, he knew this had happened before.
"After so many years those feelings haven't changed, in fact they've only grown stronger."
The reason Rory's surroundings kept changing, the scenes that'd been playing in his head all night. They weren't daydreams or hallucinations, they were flashbacks. Memories. His memories.
"I've started to realize something about myself and why I feel that way... because..."
Last time this had happened Rory was too frightened, too caught off guard, too stubborn to say anything back. He was a puppet to his surroundings and circumstances, he only thought about his next move to keep his family and friends alive.
Yet, the more Rory thought about it the more he came to the realization that maybe he was just as in love with Jude as he was with him and that scared the shit out of him.
"Rory, I'm in love with you."
Maybe this time could be different, he told himself.
Life seemed so abnormally normal here and there was a chance at safety and time and anything they wanted together. He took a step forward, closing the gap between them as he reached out to Jude.
"Jude, I-"
Then, as if the ground below him had opened up, he was falling. The world around him was dark, no apartment, no beige room, no anything. Just unholy darkness that swallowed him whole as if it were starving. Fear coursed threw his veins, the bottom of this pit seeming to not exist, as if he would fall forever.
Then came the memories.
He slowly reached for the wrap around her neck and gently pulled it away, covering his sob with his hand as the bite was uncovered. It had gotten worse, much worse, in only the span of 13 hours. Not only was it still bleeding but puss was oozing from it, the veins surrounding it had turned from purple to a deep red.
This was his fault.
He had killed his baby sister. All because he couldn't confront his problems.
"I'm so sorry I did this to you." He whined quietly, shakily pulling out the gun he had hidden under his pillow.
"I have to do this for you, so you don't feel anymore pain. I promise you'll go to a better place." He breathed heavily, laying the gun next to Alaina's temple.
"I love you." Rory whispered.
Then there came the bang.
No. No. No! No! No!
Memories cut through his mind like a knife, his head throbbing at the sudden intrusion. This was much more realistic than his earlier flashbacks. It was as if he was reliving the trauma all over again.
He didn't want to remember this.
This wasn't the life he wanted.
"When we got in the Toyota and drove off the screechers attacked. They took out the car and..."
Jude drifted off, a sad look falling over his face. Rory couldn't handle this not knowing so to get Jude to spit it out he yelled,
"And what?!"
Jude's light eyes fell,
"..Mable died when the car flipped."
Rory's heart sunk.
He was the one who died in that car crash. Not Mable.
Painful events flooded his mind at a pace he couldn't handle. Tears streamed down his cheeks as he relived the scenes that seemed straight out of a horror novel.
"Wake up!"
He was dead still and Jude felt a sob escape his lips. He couldn't have died. Not from a car crash of all things.
"Rory, please!"
When no answer came he grabbed Rory's arm, refusing to give up as he pulled him through the windshield to avoid the screechers on either side.
He was heavy, too heavy to run with.
Once finally out the front a screecher met his eyes. It came at him, moving in an inhuman way.
His instinct kicked in. He let go of Rory's limp body and ran.
Rory sobbed uncontrollably, covering his ears and closing his eyes in attempt to stop the horrible scenes but they continued to play vividly as if on loop in his head. If he had died then this must be hell.
A door creaked open loudly and suddenly he was blinded by light. Music was now playing in the background but another closed door kept it at too low of a volume to recognize.
They turned to the left and he was faced with a terrifying, large, metal door.
"In you go."
She opened the door and even through his incompetent state he couldn't help the drugged gasp that left his chapped lips as cold air slapped him in the face. Although it was blurry he could make out a skinned body hanging by hooks in the middle of what looked like an otherwise empty freezer. Not a whole body, just a frozen torso with one arm. The left arm, the head, and the waist down either torn or cut away ungracefully. He felt his stomach turn as she took a step into the room. They were going to freeze him before they killed him.
'This isn't real. I'm dreaming. This isn't real. It's just a dream. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up.'
He repeated the words over and over again willing himself to do as his brain pleaded.
Rory hadn't even seen the arrow coming towards Kyle right next to him so he was confused for only a second when Ezra pushed her into him. Then he was being stabbed by an arrow, the force of it pinning him to the bed of the truck right behind them.
"Ezra!"
No! Ezra was alive in Rory's apartment! This wasn't real! It couldn't be real!
"I'm sorry for what happened to Alaina."
A broken voice bled through the terrible memories, giving Rory something to hold onto in his never ending fall.
"I'm sorry I couldn't find you after we were separated in the river."
Rory kept his eyes closed, focusing on Jude's voice as it echoed in his head.
"I'm sorry for telling you to go off on your own. It seems like I only cause you pain and I'm so sorry...."
His voice was shaky as if terrified.
"Please, stay with me."
Rory could imagine those big blue eyes filling with salt water like the sea.
"I love you..."
Rory took a deep breath, filling his aching lungs and stabilizing his panicked breaths. Jude would be there. Even with all the pain and suffering, he'd at least have Jude.
Suddenly Rory was slammed into the ground with a loud 'oof', his body seemingly bouncing at the impact. He groaned at the pain that shot through his body, struggling to catch his breath as he got to his hands and knees. Grass. He realized as his hands dug into the dirt below him. He finally opened his teary eyes to find himself in the middle of a forest.
"I was telling the truth, when I said I didn't want to hurt you. Sorry about that."
A silvery voice rang out as if it were coming from inside him. A tall, lean man with auburn hair so dark it was almost brown stood in front of him, unfazed by Rory's defeated appearance.
"You..."
He started but his throat restricted him from talking.
"My name's Andy."
Andy's arms were crossed as he watched the blonde before him with dark mono lidded eyes that seemed to not hold a care in the world.
"I understand what you're going through. I know how confused you are."
Rory swallowed thickly, his hands falling limply to his sides as he sat back on his knees. He wasn't in control in his own head. He was at the mercy of the man in front of him.
"This is just one part of my ability. I can walk through people's dreams, I can manipulate them. But only people like us."
"People like us..."
Rory repeated the familiar phrase, things suddenly starting to fall back into place in his memory.
"I was just as confused and alone as you are now Rory, but it doesn't have to be that way. I came here on my own free accord, without King knowing, because even if he thinks recruiting you would be a waste of time I see your potential."
He kneeled down to be at Rory's height.
"This world you created in your head that your holding onto so tightly? It's gone. It's not real and it never will be. Your sister is dead, your friend is dead, and your ability is..."
Andy's smile seemed to grow,
"It's dangerous, yet, incredible. I believe that you can do so much more than you think. Someone taking your place in death is only the start of it."
The man looked downright gleeful at the mention of Rory's abilities. Rory only felt shame, his hair falling over his eyes as he looked to the ground, guilt consuming him.
"When I first came into my ability I only saw dreams of people I was destined to meet. Now?"
He chuckled, pride laced in his tone.
"I'm standing inside your mind, controlling your dream so we can have this conversation."
Rough, calloused hands landed on his shoulders, squeezing with the strength of a swordsmen.
"Just think of all the things you might be able to do one day."
"No."
Rory stated without hesitation, pushing Andy's hands away violently.
"Huh?-"
"I said no!"
Rory shouted, his eyes falling back to the dewy grass below and his hair once again covering his tearful eyes.
"I don't want this curse!"
He wrapped his arms around himself, sniffling as it became harder to hold his emotions back.
"If you think it's so incredible then you take it! I don't want it!"
Andy's jaw clenched as he glared at the pleading man. A mix of confusion, disgust, and just a dash of sympathy painted his face.
"I should've just died."
Andy sighed in annoyance, standing back to his feet gracefully.
"Sorry bud, but that's not how it works."
He rolled his eyes at the pathetic sight before him. Here was a man who had more strength in his abilities than almost anyone in their group of bandits and he didn't even want it.
"I don't want to hurt anyone else..."
He was ungrateful.
A crying, depressing mess of a man who didn't deserve the powers he'd been given. Andy would slaughter to gain Rory's ability and here his unappreciative ass was, begging for it to be taken away.
"I have dreamed your future, Rory."
Andy didn't want to bring this up, it was unlucky to tell others their futures. He'd dealt with this before through King. When he'd told their leader his future King only made it worse with the knowledge he was given. Yet, this seemed too important to keep secret.
"and if you stay on this path something terrible will happen to you. Join us and you won't have to be alone."
"...but I'm not alone."
Rory's voice was weak and shaky, a stark contrast to the shouted 'no!' from before. He had to hold his tongue to keep from yelling at the man to speak up and speak proud like King had growled at Andy to do too many times to count.
"Then why haven't you told them about taking their friends lives? Huh?"
His hands landed on his hips.
"You think they'll believe you? And even if they do, can you honestly say they'll just brush over the fact that it's your fault that they're friends are dead?"
Rory let out a deep sob, it was obvious he was trying to hold back. Andy only scoffed. The man in front of him was far weaker then he'd imagined.
"You have two options, Rory."
The dirty blonde finally looked back to Andy, a tear slid down his cheek as he listened to the words of the man in front of him helplessly.
"Option one, you can stay with your friends. Though, with your luck, I believe this option will result in nothing but death."
A smirk pulled at his lips as he continued.
"Or option two. You can meet with me and the others with abilities and we can teach you. It'll take time and you might have to prove yourself to King, but you won't have to hurt any one else that you care about."
Rory looked away, shame and guilt written deep into his expression.
"They won't understand. Not like we do."
"I can't leave them."
"Then you'll suffer."