I had this one dream about a little girl. She was running around me, smiling, jumping and dancing, and I did so with her. I gave her a hug. She called me mom. I woke up.
I never hear stories about people moving because they want to. People always move because they have to, life has forced them. Those who seem like they love the idea of moving, do it for a "Fresh start" when in reality they would've never made that decision if they didn't have to cope. In my case, this isn't for a fresh start, although my Aunt Mary sees it that way. She thinks I'm unstable, unable to handle death on my own. What she doesn't know is since the age of five when my gold fish died, I've been preparing myself for the loss of loved ones close to me. People die, nothing I can do about it, and I've been reminding myself of that for years. That's why it doesn't hurt. At all. Which concerns me.
My Aunt decided it was a good idea to move to San Francisco. With us is my cousin, Rose. Two completely different people, we are. But yet we get along so well it's almost hard to tell we're nothing alike. Rose glows constantly, like the sun kissed her on the head and she hasn't recovered since. I'm more dull. Bland like whole wheat bread. Nothing to say about me that's interesting, not counting the way my parents died. Suicide. Together. My uncle claims to have found their bodies hanging in the living room of my old house, yet I've never seen the corpses myself. I've been thinking heavily about that lately. My parents always made it clear that they wanted to be buried, but yet the funeral consisted of two bodies burnt to ashes in vases. No beautiful coffins with flowers on top and silk lining. No standing over my mother and father, appreciating how nicely put together they look, and dropping a tear for suspicious family members as I kiss both my parents on the forehead. Just dust. When I asked my uncle why the funeral was this way, I got no answer.
"Exciting isn't it?!" Aunt Mary turns to me. She had a smile that could wrap around the world, although it was clear she was hurting.
"Yes, very."
"I heard the guys here are cute." Rose announces. "I'm sure. So are babies, when you own your own house and can Atleast pay your own phone bill" Aunt Mary replied.
"Oh that's cool, so because I think a guys cute that equals pregnant? Get a grip". Rose said, chuckling to herself.
"Listen honey I know what it's like being your age and seeing a guy I like. I just want to make sure you know not to let it get too far."
"Mom I don't want a baby even more than you don't want me to have one." Rose kept her eyes on her phone.
"Well that's good to hear." Aunt Mary laughed. "We're here." My aunt parked in front of and apartment building painted red on the outside. The neighborhood is fresh and clean looking. Where I come from, it's nice if you only see one crushed Dunkin' Donuts cup on the ground . But here the sidewalks and streets are so gorgeous you could practically eat off of them. My cousin gets out the car and takes out her suitcases from the trunk. My stuff was with me in the back, and aunt Mary had a bag in the trunk as well, with one big case on top of the roof of the car. Along with a mini Uhaul attached to the back of the car.
I step out of the car along with Aunt Mary. We both look together at the large apartment building, painted in bright red with pink flowers siting on the small balconies in front of the window.
"Welcome home." Aunt Mary says as she puts her hand on my opposite shoulder and squeezes me in for a side hug. "AAHH! This is going to be great." She ran to the front door holding a gold key in her hand. She unlocked the door and looked back at me and smiled before scurrying into the building like an excited child.