Jason's POV
We decided to continue studying at the library, and though it was hard that first day, with Mrs. Walker and her 101 questions, I got through it. Not because my skin was thick like an alligator's or slick like Teflon, but because I knew Cat didn't want to be home.
So I sucked it up, and after the initial stares and whispers, things settled down. Wednesday and Thursday went by quickly, but today has been slow as hell. Something was up with Cat. I tried to ask her about it, but she shut me down with one of her looks.
This Cat was closed off, and normally I'd be up for a challenge, but not today. Today I had a lot of stuff on my mind, and having the headache from hell didn't help. My eyes hurt, and after an hour, I told Cat that I was done. I could tell she was pissed-about what, I had no idea but then again, so was I. After texting my dad for a ride, I scooped up my laptop and books. I asked her if she wanted a lift home, but she shook her head. Said she was going to hang at the library for a bit and that I'd see her next week.
At that point, I set my books down on the table and shoved my hands into my front pocket because they were fisted and angry.
"Did I do something to piss you off?" I asked, watching her closely. In the space of a few weeks, I'd learned that Cat was a crappy liar. I'd also learnt that when she was upset or angry, her eyes looked glassy and much darker. Kind of like they looked right now.
"Nope," she answered crisply. "Just make sure you study John Stuart Mill's economic theories because I'll be grilling you about them on Monday."
"You're angry."
"No, I'm not."
What was it with girls? Why can't they just say it like it is? Girls get pissy or whatever, and it's a big thing that carries on for days or weeks. Shit, when guys disagree, they get in each other's faces, have it out, and go back to being buddies.
"Cat," I said carefully, not wanting to leave until I had at least scored a smile from her.
"What are you doing this weekend?" she asked abruptly.
Okay. That was out of the left field. Surprised, I shrugged. "Nothing." A pause. "Why?" I asked slowly. "Do you want to hang out?"
"No." Wow. No hesitation there.
She stared at me for a long time, and I tried like hell to think of what I could have said or done to warrant this mood, but I came up with nothing. I decided to let it be. Lord knows my dad has certainly done that many times over, because like he said, girls are strange animals, and we'd be fools to try and figure them out.
"Okay," I said, scooping up my bag. "I'll talk to you tomorrow."s
"We study on Monday."
"I know, but I'll talk to you tomorrow."
That had been hours ago, and it was still bugging me when our doorbell rang. Friday night in my house is date night for my parents, so they'd left around six, heading to the city for dinner and a movie. Hailey was still grounded, so her bitchy scowl was intact as she flipped through the TV channels like a madwoman.
And me? I'd been sitting at the kitchen table texting Noah and Alex for the last hour. The two of them were trying to convince me to go to this big summer bush bash, but I didn't want to. Everyone would be there and I just...
Shit.
Summer parties at my end of the world consisted of bonfires, drinking, and music. The drinking I could handle. I wasn't doing it these days, especially not now that I was taking new meds since Tuesday.
It was a music thing. I knew that Noah would be there with a couple of acoustics, and I'd be expected to play. Shit, I could barely keep my concentration going long enough to run a few easy scales. How was I supposed to play and sing with everyone watching?
The doorbell went again.
"Holy fu-"
"Language, Hailey." I mimicked my mother perfectly and shot a look into the family room. I was teasing, but if looks could kill, I'd be dead.
"I hate you."
"I know."
"Well, can you get that? We both know it's not for me. It's not as if I'm allowed to go to, like, the hottest party of the summer"
I headed for the front door, but I knew who it was, and before I had a chance to answer it, it flew open and my best friend walked in as if he'd never gone away.
"Dude," Alex grinned, hauling his girlfriend Jessie in behind him. "I'm not taking no for an answer. Noah's already out there, and I'm not leaving without you."
I grabbed his shoulder the way guys do and then pushed him back before smiling at the small girl beside him.
"Hey, Jessie."
"Jason." She reached up and kissed me on the cheek. "You look great," she whispered.
That wasn't surprising, considering the last time she'd seen me, I'd still been weak and kind of broken. Too skinny and too slow from all the time I'd been in a coma. It had been a tough haul, getting my muscle memory back.
Alex was quiet for a few moments and I saw Jessie squeeze his hand. Something flickered in the depths of his eyes, and I knew he was thinking back to another party. Back to another night when our world had exploded into shattering glass, twisted metal, and for me, scrambled brains.
"Jace, I've only got tonight, man. Tomorrow we're with my family and then Monday we're heading back to New York. You gotta come. It will be like old times. The whole gang back together."
"Hey!" Jessie punched him in the shoulder, a big smile on her face. "What about me?"
He laughed and kissed her. "New friends too."
They looked like they had the world by the balls, and watching them, I realized that for the first time, I was jealous of my buddy.
Jealousy didn't taste so good.
"New York looks good on you," I managed to say.
Alex grinned. "It's so much better than we even thought it could be. Dude, I busked in Times Square last week. Times Square! The vibe, the scene...it's what we thought it would be but way better." He slapped me on the shoulder. "When you finally get your ass out there, you'll see. We're going to rule, man."
I nodded, tried to smile even, but it was hard to ramp up my enthusiasm level when I had no idea if my head was going to explode.
"Are you okay?" Jessie asked softly, her hand on my arm.
I hadn't told Alex about my seizure and instructed Noah not to say anything either. I was still dealing with what it meant, what it could mean, and I didn't want to deal with Alex's guilt too.
I knew he felt it.
I knew he felt it twist like a knife, but I was exhausted enough, and taking on the burden of his guilt would probably send me off the cliff I'd been straddling for days.
"I'm good," I replied, a fake smile pasted on my face.
"So are you coming or what?" Alex asked.
I glanced towards my sister. She was watching some stupid bachelorette show, the volume level was at eardrum-damage, and her everybody-hates-me scowl was getting old.
"What's up with Hailey?" Alex asked.
"Grounded."
"What did she do?"
"Nothing that Jason hasn't done before," she shouted from the family room. Man, my sister had some ears on her.
Hailey pretty much made my decision. "Let me grab my phone."
The ride out to the bush party didn't take long. We lived in the middle of nowhere, yes, but bush parties always took place in the forest behind the old abandoned drive-in on the edge of town. The cops usually knew what was up and kept an eye out, but unless things got out of control, they left us alone. Wasn't like there was anything else to do.
By the time we got there, it was dark and the glow off the tops of the trees could be seen from the road. That meant some kind of bonfire.
"Lot's of cars," I said as we pulled up beside a beat-up and rusted Mustang. I recognize it as belonging to Luke, our old bass player. A year older than us, he'd already graduated and surprised the heck out of everyone when he got up and joined the army. I hadn't seen him in ages.
"He's on leave," Alex said as we piled out of his car. "And he's gonna be stoked that you came out."
I was happy to see the guys. It was the other stuff that I was concerned about. Already stressed, I worried that my words would come out wrong or even worse, there could be whispers behind my back about the seizure.
I had no idea who knew and who didn't other than Noah. What if I had another one? That thought made me sick, and I tried to ignore how my stomach was all twisted, but it was damn hard.
"Come on. That's Luke." Alex nudged me.
I could leave right now. I know Alex would take me home if I asked him to, and he wouldn't ask questions either. But that sucked almost as much as being here and being afraid.
"You coming?" he asked.
I glanced towards the bonfire and immediately caught sight of Luke. He was waving his arms in the air like Superman, and I could see his grin from here. I couldn't chicken out, not now. I needed to man up and just deal.
I put my game face on and followed Alex towards the bonfire.
The night was warm and pretty muggy, but it was the kind of night that I loved. The sky was bright, lit to the heavens with stars, and the air felt alive, full of possibilities.
It took a while, but eventually, I relaxed a bit, mostly because Alex, Luke, and I were treated like gold. Everyone was in a good mood and the atmosphere was chill. One of the guys on the football team had speakers set up on the back of his truck, and an odd mixture of country and rock filled the air. This was my scene, and it had been too long.
Oliver Mooney, a guy from school, had the balls to ask me what had happened at the library. Said he'd heard that I'd been taken to the hospital in an ambulance. I told him it was an exaggeration. He didn't give up.
"But dude, an ambulance?"
"Do I look like there's something wrong with me?" I stared him down, flexing my fists as I did so.
"Nah. You look as bad-ass as ever."
Someone offered me a beer, but I shook my head, and after it happened the second time, I grabbed a can so that I could have something to hold and ward off more offers.
I was getting into some vintage Green Day-"Jesus of Suburbia '' is epic-when someone nudged my hip and two warm arms slid around me from behind. My first thought was Cat, which was crazy. The girl had pretty much blown me off today. Whoever it was giggled and stumbled into me, obviously loaded.
"I'm mad at chu."
Ah. Lauren.
She circled so that she was in front of me, though their hands were still wrapped around my waist. "I've been texting you all week about this party."
Any other time, I would have been all over this. Lauren was cute, nice, and ready to party. But these days, Catherine Moss was the only girl I was interested in, and even though I wasn't sure if she was interested back, I wasn't going to take what Lauren was offering.
I wasn't that guy anymore, which maybe should have surprised me. I'm damn sure it would surprise half the guys I knew. I was single, so it's not like I was cheating on anyone. And let's be serious. Guys my age think about sex all the time, and to say otherwise is an outright lie.
But Lauren wasn't Cat. End of story.
"Sorry, been busy."
She pouted, hands falling to my hips, which was awkward because now parts of us that weren't meant to be touching were touching.
"Whoa," I said, trying to disengage, but the girl had talons for fingers and she had dug in good.
"I'm glad you came," she said, talking real slow, drawing out each syllable in what I call alcohol to speak.
I looked around. Where the hell was everyone? I spotted Alex by the fire, picking up an acoustic and strumming a few chords for his girl. Luke was close by, chatting up the Monte twins, which wasn't surprising. Other than Tyler Jameson, Luke was the biggest player on this side of the Mason-Dixon line.
And Noah...
My stomach did that weird tumble again, and I carefully picked Lauren's claws from my hips as I stared across the clearing. Noah sat on a log beside the fire with Annabeth on his lap, and a few feet from them was Catherine.
She was nodding to the guy beside her, and he was leaning down, so close that I didn't need to see his face to know what he was thinking. And it wasn't how awesome she smelled, though I'm sure he'd noticed that. It wasn't how nice her hair looked or how shiny her eyes were either.
The guy was looking to score, and who could blame him?
His hand was at the small of her back, and from my vantage point, I saw a whole lot of skin on display. Soft skin. Soft skin that he shouldn't be touching. I wanted to smash my fist into his face. Total Neanderthal move on my part, but there you have it. At that moment it appeared that I was a knucklehead.
"Jason, hello! I'm right here."
I pulled back from Lauren and finally got her hands off me. "Look, Lauren, I'm sorry. This...us...it's not gonna happen."
She followed my gaze and glanced over her shoulder. "Catherine Moss? Really? I heard she's got her V pin stuck to her chest like glue."
But I was already walking towards the one girl that mattered. The one girl who'd given me nothing but attitude today. The one girl I wanted to kiss and touch and throw my arms around.
She was the only girl I wanted, and I frowned as the guy beside her straightened and looked up, right at me before he offered his hand to Cat and she took it.
Tyler Jameson. Damn.
They headed into the night.
"No effing way," I muttered, dodging a tackle from one of my old teammates.
"Where are you going?" Alex asked, holding up his guitar. "Let's the jam."
"Can't."
Tyler Jameson didn't belong anywhere near Catherine Moss, and I had no problem with letting him know it. Some might argue that because I hadn't come to the party with Cat, I had no right to get up in her business. Maybe I didn't, but I was pretty sure about one thing.
I wasn't leaving without her. She just didn't know it yet.