When I need a moment to think or to scream, to yell or cry, I go to nowhere. I like the nowhere. I call it my safe place even though it isn't a place. There is nothing nowhere never, and I go there to feel okay. The nowhere is mean though, it won't let me be somewhere until I'm ready, but likes to let me out too early or trap me for too long. Maybe I like being sad? It's nice to feel one emotion rather than be overwhelmed by them. I also like the tingling in my thumb I get when I feel that way.

Lately I smell things from my childhood but they make me want to throw up unlike the way I used to smile when I inhaled in the past.

April 23, 20XX