"Have you ever broken down like that? Over something silly?" Ryan asked.
Scott resumed rubbing Ryan's back. "I really don't think that was a silly reason to get upset, but yes, I've had breakdowns plenty of times. Even in my line of work, patients still die, and depending on how closely I worked with them, there were funerals to attend. And sometimes, I have to tell couples who've been trying so hard that they've miscarried again. Sometimes it's silent heartbreak, and sometimes it's screaming and grief right then and there. It's impossible for it to not get to you sooner or later."
"Your job's really difficult... isn't it?"
"It can be, but there's nothing else I'd rather do, I don't think."
Ryan thought a moment, contemplating Scott's words. Scott's job was so important compared to what Ryan did for a living, yet still he'd left work twice now to come to his rescue. Meanwhile, Ryan had helped him out maybe like, once? Were there other times since they started dating that Scott needed help and didn't ask? It was kind of sad to think about. Did Scott not think he would have done everything he could to help? Was this how his boyfriend felt?
"Scott, I'm going to make you a promise, but you've got to promise too." Ryan declared, pushing himself up on his arms.
Scott was a little bit taken aback by Ryan's sudden boldness, and especially since he hadn't heard Ryan say is name in a while. "O– okay?"
"I promise that if I need help, or a hug, or anything like that, that you will be the first person I call! But, you have to promise the same! I can't offer much, but I can listen while you vent, or I can cook, or I can even just lay on you if that's what you want! Even if you just really want sex, you can call me. I may not be able to give you things, but I can give you me!"
Scott pulled him back down gently, meeting their lips for a kiss. "I promise." He cupped Ryan's face in his hands. "But, I won't use you for sex. It's no fun if both parties aren't in to it."
"But don't alphas need–"
"This alpha can make do just fine with his hands if he decides he needs it bad enough. But, on the topic of hugs, I wouldn't mind swinging by your job for a quick hug if I've had a bad day, or even a good day. Seeing you puts me in a good mood."
They scooted back to their original position. Ryan for one was feeling much better after they came to an agreement. Scott had shown him so much kindness, and now he finally had a way to start repaying some of it.
"One more thing?" Scott asked.
"What?"
"Promise me that if you're ever really tired after work, morning or night, that you'll call me for a ride?"
"But what if you're already dressed for bed? Or if you're at work and can't get away?"
"I have no shame in coming to get you in my PJs. And if I'm at work, well then I guess I'll just have to get you a ride share. Actually, I have a good idea. Remind me in the morning, I'll connect my bank account to a ride sharing app on your phone. That way you can get where you need to go."
Ryan shot up again, this time in surprise. "Seriously?"
"I mean it!" Scott continued. "That way, if I really can't come get you, you don't have to wait on me to call for the car. Plus, your job at FedEx is practically on the outskirts of the city. I imagine it takes a while to get there by bus, right? If it makes it easier on you, then I want you to use the ride service to get there and back too."
Ryan was stunned. That would save him more than three hours a day! It was a godsend! Was Scott serious?
It was hard to see Ryan's face in the dark, but Scott felt something drip on to his chest. He asked hurriedly, "Are you crying?"
Ryan quickly wiped his eyes and buried his face between Scott's pecs. Scott patted his head.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. I know you can't give up working, and you may feel uncomfortable just accepting money, but if I can help you by doing that for you, then I hope you'll let me."
Ryan reply was muffled, and just a little wet. "That would... help a lot..."
Scott continued petting him as the silence stretched on. Offering to pay for the ride service seemed like such a small thing to him, but to Ryan it was apparently a big deal. They weren't mated yet, so it's not like he could just force Ryan to stop working and move in with him, not that he would. Besides, they'd already had that conversation. Ryan didn't want to quit working. Scott wasn't going to get a timid little housewife out of this relationship, and he was okay with that.
Though honestly, he wouldn't mind Ryan moving in with him. The only rub was that they weren't mated. They'd talked hypotheticals before, but Scott still hadn't openly come out and asked Ryan to be his mate. Sure, maybe it had only been like four-ish months, but most mated pairs were either arranged or accidents. Maybe such a short timespan didn't work for the rest of the world when it came to relationships, but this was the reality for those with alpha and omega genetics.
He was certain he wanted Ryan to be his, but he didn't want to take him by force. He wanted to give Ryan a choice in it too. Some people went on and on about the idea of "fated pairs." He wasn't too sure he believed in that nonsense before, but now? He wasn't so sure.
Either way, there would have to be planning involved. Scott would have to be off his alpha meds for at least three days before Ryan went into heat. He'd have to file for leave at work before he quit taking them, and it would be a good idea to get Ryan added as a dependent on his insurance, just in case.
They'd have to stay home until the whole matter was over and done with too, he didn't want to risk the mating happening in public. Besides, if he was off his meds and Ryan went into heat, there was no way he could stop himself. And, Ryan would have to go without his collar. No, if they were going to do it, he wanted to do it right.
While he mused, he thought Ryan had fallen asleep. But Ryan's voice broke his train of thought.
"That was the first time I was ever on top during sex. It was kinda fun."
"Really? Then, next time I promise to let you finish that way. It was quite the sight, seeing you ride me like that."
"I'm... sorry for earlier, when I came in your mouth... I don't normally ejaculate..." Ryan apologized.
"If that's the case, don't worry about it. I'll take the fact that I got you to shoot as high praise!"
"It was the first time someone'd played with my prostate, too. I didn't know it felt so good. I could never reach it on my own..."
"In case you were wondering, your prostate happens to be perfectly healthy."
"Is it now?" Ryan laughed, caught off guard. "I'm almost due for my yearly exam, so maybe they'll skip that part if I tell them you said so!"
"Or, I could do your exam. You're already registered as a patient at my office. I could squeeze you in Wednesday before you have to go to work. That is, if you're planning to stay over for date night?"
"Am I being invited to stay the night Tuesday?" He asked cheekily, as if he hadn't spent nearly every Tuesday night over since he got food poisoning.
"You can stay over any night you want to. You can stay over every night, if you want. I certainly won't complain."
"If only." Ryan sighed wistfully. "My apartment building reports me as a missing person if I'm gone more than three days without notice. It's part of their security protocol."
Scott figured now was a good a time as any. "Why not just live with me?"
Ryan was quiet just long enough for Scott to think he'd stepped over the line. He looked down at the brown-haired head pillowed on his chest, willing Ryan to speak, to say anything! Could he hear his heart racing?
"I can't. Not yet." Ryan said finally. "My apartment's policy for getting out of the leases early is crazy steep. You have to pay four months rent plus about five hundred for a cleaning fee."
"That sounds ridiculous. Four month's worth of rent payments as a lump sum? This building only requires two! And how could it possibly take five hundred dollars to clean such a tiny unit?"
"I heard it's to target alphas. The theory is that alphas tend to make more money, and would be willing to pay it if they happened to be mated with one of the tenants. It's a shitty practice, but the building's security is top-notch, and at the time, that's what I needed. And apparently they do some kind of special cleaning that gets rid of all the pheromones from the previous tenant."
"When's your lease up?"
"December..." Ryan yawned.
Scott mused. That wasn't exactly that far away. There would be an extra month to pay if he helped get Ryan out now, but it would be much more cost effective to wait. He'd seen the security measures himself. Ryan was safe there. He would just have to keep being patient. It didn't mean they couldn't become mates before then either, but he wanted to make asking that question particularly special. Now that he knew the apartment's policy though, there were additional steps that would have to be included in his plans. One thing at a time.
On his chest, Ryan started snoring softly. Scott yawned. What time was it? They'd talked for quite a while, after all. As he closed his eyes he thought, maybe this was a problem best addressed in the morning...