I let out an inaudible groan as I bring myself to wake up, a headache splitting my skull. Keeping my eyes closed and holding the slightly crooked bridge of my nose with one hand, I throw back the covers with the other. Swinging my legs over the edge of the bed, I keep my expression plain and almost get up. I hesitate, crinkling my nose, smelling the very strong smell of fresh-cut grass, as if someone mowed a lawn in my room.
A variety of other smells make their way into my nose, something sickly sweet, like a rotting corpse, something overbearingly citrusy and floral, and something really salty and tangy, almost like what I would imagine…blood to smell like. Weird. Then I notice the sounds. A very loud buzzing fills my ears, as if a bee was flying right next to my head, but the sound is muffled, as if it is going through glass. After a few moments, the sound dies down. Rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I finally spring up from the bed. My knees almost buckle underneath me in a state of weakness, and my eyelids flip open.
I take one glance at my room and shut my eyes again, screwing them closed tightly. Slowly, I open them again to see the same thing: My vision zooming in, forcing me to see the shape of every little dust particle. As if my pupils are zooming in, I begin seeing every little individual speck of white paint on the ceiling, and I start feeling nauseous. I turn my gaze to the window and, instead of seeing the garden, I see a huge bumblebee the size of a blimp coming toward the window.
I close my eyes and crouch down, covering my neck, anticipating an explosion of glass. A minute goes by, and nothing. I get up and into a defensive position quicker than you can say 'hopscotch' and open my eyes. My eyesight goes back to mostly normal and I see that the huge bee was actually a normal sized one.
My vision starts zooming in again and I take a deep breath after closing my eyes once again. I have practiced situations where I am unexpectedly blind, so I make my way to the bathroom with relative ease, my senses even sharper than before. Something behind me catches on my desk, and I become absolutely still, my senses heightening even more. I do not sense anything besides my own self, though, so I keep my expression blank and slowly stalk the rest of the way to the bathroom.
I turn the doorknob and it comes away in my hand, confusing me. I know I have a lot of strength, but the last time the doorknob came off was about a year ago, and after that incident I replaced the doorknobs with heavier, reinforced ones. I set it aside on the floor before stepping onto the marble floor of the bathroom.
Reaching for the light switch, I see the lights giving a red-orange glow behind my closed eyelids.
You can open your eyes now.
What the fudge? I could have sworn that a woman's voice spoke to me. I snap my eyes open, and I look around, my eyes have stopped zooming in, but I can see every human error, made when the walls were painted, even when using the most advanced tools. It annoys me to no end, so I look at the marble tiles, which are pristine and perfect, machine-cut and machine-polished, without room for imperfection. I focus on the pattern of the shower curtain.
Hey, kid, don't do-
I almost flinch at the young man's voice but keep my body still. Then I realize my vision has started distorting again.
I was previously fixated on a small drop of water on the shower curtain, but now I don't know what I am seeing. The drop of water becomes bigger and bigger until I start seeing even smaller particles of water bonded together. I feel like throwing up before I start seeing spheres of an unknown substance circled by zooming smaller pieces. I definitely start dry heaving when my vision becomes even more warped, and I start to see only black, with little flashing magenta filaments.
Focus, Lassie! Get off the ground! You've trained for years as a bloody mortal, prove to us that you are more than this!
I stop spiraling forward at the sound of a British man's voice. He is right. I am Vivienne, Vivienne Anika Raji, Chiaroscuro, Queen of Light and Dark. Whoa – where did that come from? But before I can continue wondering, my vision starts zooming in again, this time at a faster pace. I reach inside of myself, searching, looking for something to serve as my anchor. I think of the last pieces of my childhood, when I was innocent and naïve, and find the calm within the storm. A sharp, almost painful tug at my heart nearly makes me stop fixing my vision, but I continue, though at a much slower pace.
I am seeing the drop of water enlarged when I hear two pairs of footsteps, trying to be quiet, most likely, but every step pounds in my mind. They stop and my vision returns to normal – well, more normal than before – and then come three outrageous knocks, sounding like someone pounding on my ear drums.
"Yes?" I call out, my voice perfectly calm despite the pain in my mind.
"Vivienne? Are you going to be all right? Your father and I have to go to a last-minute conference," My mother tells me through the door, partly in Hindi, and I close my eyes, no emotion in my body showing, but I still clench my fists.
"Yeah, it's all right. I'm changing my clothes right now, so you guys can go," I say back in Hindi, and only I can detect the slightest strain in my voice. This day has started off really weird, and now my parents are leaving on a conference right after my birthday? Well, I suppose if it's important business, they have to go, and they already spent so much time with me last week and gave me the most wonderful and thoughtful presents.
"Okay, check up on Varun today. He wasn't feeling well," Mom replies in complete Hindi, and I give a word of affirmation before walking across the bathroom. Again, I feel something behind me brush the walls of the shower, but when I reach out with my senses, I can only sense myself.
I hear their footsteps echo down the hallway, down the stairs, and echo against the downstairs floor. I then hear the deep rumble of a car starting and the garage opening, as if I were with them. I shake my head before gripping the edge of the counter, in front of the mirror. Counting to three, I slowly flutter my eyes open.
I cannot comprehend what I see. I keep my features plain subconsciously, but I still take half a step back from the counter from shock.
Sprouting from my back are the largest pair of wings I have ever seen, folded behind me, and trailing on the floor. I tense my shoulder blades and the wings stretch to their full size, at least double my height, and quadruple the length of my shoulder to shoulder. Each feather is half black and half white, like the one in the dream I had a couple weeks ago, and glows with an almost imperceptible light.
Then I notice the bracelet around my wrist, loose but I am unable to slip it off my hand. It is a simple band made of a thin filament of pure silver and pure gold entwined together. Hanging on the bracelet were three ivory charms, smaller than the size of my nail. One of the charms is a lioness, expertly carved to look realistic, and the other is a lion. The last one is a small flower, painted a vibrant red, which looks familiar somehow.
The wings and the bracelet almost ensnare me with their beauty, but I think I'm going crazy. I sink down to my knees, watching in the mirror as my irises glow with the same light as the feathers of the wings.
For a second, my eyes flash gold, and I remember everything. I remember sitting on the roof, accepting my fate, falling from the roof, the pain that tormented my body, and, most of all, my visit to the Spirits' castle. For the first time in years, I wrap my arms around my elbows, hugging myself and curling up in a weak position. What had I done?