Dear Diary,
I don't really know what to say anymore.
It has been two hours since Christian left, and I can't sleep. To be honest I miss him. When he's around me, I feel safe but otherwise I feel like a walking dead.
I've never trust anyone in my entire life. But for some reason I just met him and I feel like I've know him all my life and I trust him. I'm not nervous around him at all and I'm drawn to him in ways that I'm not even suppose to.
I mean c'mon that boy is gorgeous! He's tall, maybe 6'3 with those amazing grey eyes. Yo when I say he's sexy, I mean he's hella sexy. His accent tho, damn. From what Rachel told me, that guy has vampire and werewolf girls crawling at his feet. LOL I ain't goh do that though.
I don't really feel comfortable here, since everyone around me either has fangs, claws or magic and I'm,ya know... me. Christian story about my history makes sense... That's what scares me. Everything's different now, now I know the truth and whether I like it or not, I have to accept it.
Yo back in Ohio I was a badass. Ain't nobody could scare me. Ya know, I wasn't exactly the one to start fights, but I sure as hell end them. It's simple; you don't mess with me, i don't mess with you. 'If a girl have a beef with me... she goh have a beef with me, foreva!' (Cardi B)
Anyways.. Here it's different. I'm surrounded by supernatural beings for God's sake. How am I suppose to protect myself? Yeah I have Christian but is that enough?
He's a hybrid, I'm a human-for now that is. What if one day he gets hungry and feed from me? It is possible.
I'm a human now. I'm a walking blood bag for vampires here and an easy target. Not to mention the crazy witches living in this place.
They're times when I'd look back and think about the girl I used to be. Man, was she broken.
I evolved ya know. I finally got the courage to put on my big girl shoes. I had two choices, continue missing my parents and miss out on a happiness or grow a pair of balls.
Obviously, I chose to live believing that they're proud of me. I went to school and found friends that were crazy with me. They weren't as crazy as me but they didn't judge me like everyone else. I miss them a lot, but it all worked out perfectly. High school years were some of the best years of my life, and those are memories that are stuck with me forever.
First I was a troubled little girl, then I became a badass and now I'm supposedly a Tribrid, always have been. The same way I've always been a badass but I was too afraid to embrace it because I thought I was crazy.
I'm gonna have to make a decision soon. A) Live the rest of my life as a human with supernatural beings trying to kill me or B) Die and come back as a monster.
I think I know my decision. I'm already dead anyway.
There's still so much things I wanna do while I'm still human though. Who knows the type of person I'm gonna become if the transition work out and I turn into a tribrid. But still... I can also turn into a dead bitch.
~end of diary chat~
Kira POV
Everytime I close my eyes, I have strange visions involving blood. Weird thing is, in one of those visions, I saw me drinking my own blood. Ew. In another vision I got stabbed.. And I died. In the last one, I saw myself waking up in a coffin.
I don't understand any of this and I need to figure out whether these visions indicate my past... Or the future.
It could be my past, it's possible that someone did those things to me and compel me to forget.
My room is on the 3rd floor so it's always cool and comfortable. Lying on my side, I quietly walk over to my door, ensuring it's lock. Christian already assured me that no one is gonna try and hurt me while I'm here and I trust him but I'm not taking any chances with these people. They're not stupid enough to cross that guy but you'd be surprise the things people would do when they're hungry.
He made it clear that if anyone tries to come in I should call him and he'll 'rip out their windpipe and let them choke on their own tongue'. He said it loud enough for everyone in the halls to hear so I know he wasn't kidding. I like how he can make someone tremble with just a glare.
Messing with him is suicidal. Oooo, I like the sound of that.
I rather to stay in here all day and stare at the view outside than actually stepping foot outside. As far as I can see, nobody seems to like me very much. Well except for Rachel and Christian and maybe a few people I don't know.
There's this one time I heard a girl gossiping with her friends, that the only reasons I'm here is because I'm Christian sex slave. They stood exactly outside my door because they wanted me to hear. In that moment, I forgot where I was. I angrily walk outside and was met by a white skinny girl. I didn't give a fuck if she was a vampire or not, no one calls me a sex slave and gets away with it. Rachel was close by and threatened to beat the shit out of her, and she scoffed and walk away. Thank God. Honestly, I'm glad was Rachel was there because I would've been deadmeat.
Rachel room is infront of mine, she's always checking up me when she gets home and when she's leaving. She's barely home so I'm alone most of the times. I don't mind though, I'm used to it. Besides, it gives me a chance to think. Thinking is good ya know? Well it used to be.
Everytime I think about Yvonne or my real parents, I automatically get angry. Is it bad that I never even met them and a part of me doesn't like them? Bad or not, I don't care.
The thought of going home hasn't crossed my little fucked up mind once. I barely have anything to go back to and as life threatening as being here is, I feel safer here than I've ever felt out there. I feel safe, and it's not because there's a hybrid that'll do anything to protect me but it's because I'm finally somewhere I think I belong.
At first I thought I didn't belong here but time has proven that I do and by time I mean white boy, he's pretty good at convincing people.
Regardless of all that, I miss having fun. Now I'm bored. The only thing I have here to keep my company is my laptop, I got angry and threw my phone in a fire the other day because I couldn't remember the password to my Instagram account.
I lazily walk over to my sofa with my laptop. My eyes scan the movies I have save, I'm in the mood for a horror movie as always. I love horror movies. Who gives a fuck if it's scary? That's what makes them so interesting.
Hmmm. 'Wrong Turn' or 'The Thing'? I've watched them all already but I enjoy re-watching movies, especially when they have a lot of gore in them. If I watch 'Wrong Turn' then imma end up watching the entire franchise so I'm gonna with 'The Thing'. As soon as I click on the movie the screen went black.
I forgot to charge it, didn't I? Yup. These are the reasons why I shouldn't have destroyed my phone. I would've been entertaining myself with celebrity drama right now.
There's nothing here to do. Ugh, nothing a long warm bath can't fix. I braid my hair back and stroll to my bathroom door. Before I could inside, I was interrupted by a knock on the door. Well well well, I don't need to grab my knife or anything, I already know who this is. Good thing I still have my clothes on.
Is it that hard to knock on somebody's door gently?
"Ugh what do you want boy?" I rolled my eyes as I open the door. As usual, he just walks in and lay down on my bed like it's his room. Boy you're lucky you're hot. "Well nice to see you again, Señorita," he kid in his very sexy Spanish accent. Señorita? Don't señorita me.
The thing that I like the most about his accent is that, he speaks English perfectly and by perfectly I mean, better than me. Yet you can always hear his accent, once you listen closely it's obvious he's from Spain.
He rest his head on my pillow with his foot stretching over the edge of the bed. He's so tall. My eyes travel to his abdomen which is very visible because of how well his mirena clings onto his chest. There's no doubt he works-out a lot because if he doesn't then God definitely spent a little more time on him. His pajama bottom is baggy but fits him perfectly. It should be illegal to look that good.
Should I even ask what he's doing in my room at 1:40am? I would but the scent of woman's perfume that isn't mine already answered my question. His hair is adorably messy and he has the 'I just had sex' look written all over him.
I'm not even a little bit surprised. Everybody knows he's a whore and honestly it would've weird if he wasn't. One look at him and you instantly know he's a heartbreaker.
The hottest guys are either fuckboys are gay... PERIOD!!
Those are the guys that attracts me the most actually.
"Why are you not asleep?" He ask. I ignore him trying to think of a way to kick him off my bed, I don't want the scent of another bitch on my fluffy pillow. I love that pillow.
The look on his face is enough proof that he's actually serious. I hate how intimidating he looks when he's serious, like he can easily kill me in less than a second.
He raised an eyebrow demanding an answer and I rolled my eyes trying to act tough and all, "I don't know dad, maybe because you just woke me up,". So I lied, eh.
"Dad? Hmm, I think I like that but I prefer papí," he winked. Really dude. I throw one of my pillows at him, trying not to laugh or blush at his very inappropriate comment. Inappropriate
"Choco, I've been alive for more than a thousand years. I could here your heartbeat before I even arrive on your block," he smirked pulling a bloodbag out of his pocket. "Oh," I grin. "You better not spill any of that on my bed". It's a good thing I wasn't watching porn or anything like that because I'm pretty sure he would've heard that too.
"Why do you keep calling me Choco?"
"Because I can."
I swear if smacking him wouldn't result in the loss of a hand, I'd smack this boy and I would enjoy it a lot too.
I glared at him and he rolled his eyes. His very adorable eyes I might add. "Want some?" He teased passing the blood bag to me. Yo gotta be kidding me!.. I shook my head and he laughs trying his best not to deliberately spill any on my bed. The look in his eyes when he drinks blood can give a baby nightmares. He looks so peaceful yet whenever he's finish he still doesn't look satisfied, like he'd do it all over again. I hate to admit it, but I like it, yes it scares me sometimes but I just can't help the fact that I admire that side of him.
I even glimpsed him staring at my neck a couple of times... like right now.
Okay so, This is the part where I try to distract him from his bloodthirst so he doesn't kill me.
After about 5 minutes of silence. "Soooo..." I hummed as he got up to dispose the empty blood bag, "What's it like being a hybrid?". I'm really curious actually. I know he enjoys killing a lot, that's probably his favourite thing.
"Well... To be honest, it's freaking awesome. As you can see, I enjoy every single moment of it," he smiled. "Everyone here knows about about me and my, ya know, 'ways'. I inflict pain and fear everywhere I go... And honestly sometimes I even fear myself,". This is getting interesting. "Why?" I asked. "Because I'm the first hybrid. And the only one on this planet born naturally. My family is amongst the first supernatural families," he explained. "So you're literally the strongest and most powerful person on this planet?" I asked but I already knew the answer. "If you wanna put it that way, then yeah. When I drink from live humans, it consumes me and make me the blood thirsty monster I really am. I haven't drank from a live source in a while though, the headmaster insists I do nothing that might put your life in danger."
Damn. I'm in bed with one of the most powerful man alive.
"So if I die, I'm gonna be the first tribrid, ever? Does that mean I'm gonna be like you?" I asked. "Sí. But you can't be like me. 1) I'm a over thousand year old. The older you are, the stronger, smarter and more experienced you are. 2) I'm a monster and a cold blooded murderer," his face is just emotionless as always. "I don't think you're a monster," I gabble moving closer to him.
He turned to look at me, "You don't know me. I'm just the hybrid version of my father. Maybe even worse," There's always a hint of anger and rage everytime he mentions his father. "That's the reason I'm still here, at this school. So I can control myself. Me being in here means people are safe out there which I couldn't care less about. I'm only doing all this for your sake."
Well atleast he's honest.
"What happens if I stay human forever?" I have a weird feeling about this. He got up, like he was contemplating whether or not to tell me. "If you stay human forever.... Everyone you cares or cared about, dies,". This is so unfair.
Well thank you for that Yvonne.
"Everyone?" I whispered. "Even my parents? ..... Does that mean you die too?". He nodded. I can't let him die
Isn't this a bit selfish of Grandma? It's like she don't want me to be apart of this world, yet everyone that i've ever cared about will disappear if i'm not apart of this world. She didn't leave me with much options.
"I wanna do it," I mumble. His eyes widened at the sound of my words. I can't believe I just said that. " I can't let you do that. What if it works out incorrectly and you die, permanently?" He said moving closer to me. I never even thought about that. It's either my life or theirs.
Absolutely nobody can tell that Yvonne isn't a selfish bitch. Who tf puts their own blood in such situation? I swear if she was still alive I'd kill her myself and-
"I can't protect you if you die!" he exclaim. "But you can't protect me if you're dead," I said to him. At least if I die, I'll die knowing he was there for me... All my life
"I promised Yvonne___" I cut him off, "I'll be fine,". Will I be? I just wanna know nothing happens to the only family I've ever know. Not because my Grandmother was a selfish bitch means I have to be.
Not gonna lie. I don't wanna die.
But look at it this way... I'm no used to anybody as a human. "Christian I made my decision and I'm doing it tomorrow," I said with a serious expression. "I can't let you do that!" He shouted. I thought this was my life.
I'm tired of people trying to control me.
"Well guess what Mister!!! It's not your decision to make !!! I'm doing it and there's no use trying to convince me otherwise because I've made up my mind," I scream at him. It's my life, I should be able to do whatever I want with it. In the end, it's my decision, my choice.
He didn't say anything. Well there's not much he could say. I mean bruh, there's no point in trying to negotiate with an angry black woman.
"I know how you feel about your promise to Yvonne... But...." I walk closer to him. "You're no use to me dead,".
He sighed and look away. I know he doesn't agree with me but it's my decision. I will never be able to live with myself knowing that my parents (Shawn and Adina) dies because of some stupid spell, I wouldn't have made it this far without them. I still don't know if Christian compelled them to love me or if they did it because they wanted to. Either way it doesn't matter, they're the only parents I've ever known.
My brothers, my friends, Christian, Rachel they deserves to live and I'll be back soo..
I will be back.
What's the point of living the rest of my life as a human if everyone I've ever cared about dies? Yes the list is short but I can't just let them die because a part of me wants to enjoy life and grow old. My friends have nothing to do with this, they all have their dreams and goals and I do not have the right to take that away from them. It's time I kiss that life goodbye, if I survive, there's no way I can ever see my parents or my old friends again.
I admit it. I was never the nicest person but uh, this is a selfish world we live in and you can't always tell when people actually wants to fuck with you or want to fuck you over. When you do find people that actually fucks with you, for you... You have to ride with them the same way they ride with you, and die for them the same way they'd die for you.
Me? Well to be honest I'm doing this for me. I'm dying for me, the people I care about is the bonus. I've been through a lot, I deserve a little redemption, whatever the outcome might be.
Okay Kira... Whatever happens, you will be back.
With my mind going wild and all. I did the last thing I expected to do at that moment.
I kissed him..
And he didn't stop me... But instead.. He kisses me back...
Oh God!!!! I just kiss Christian Remoné
It was at this moment... I knew I fucked up.