He looks so serious and it's making me worry. He, who never take life so seriously, wants to have a serious talk to me.
What happened? Is he regretting his decision to be with me? Does he feel like it's too much and is a waste of effort? Am I acting too difficult or am I just-
He must have notice the look on my face and held my hand tightly in his palms before saying.
"It's not what you're thinking, I'm just...it's about my job"
This- how can he make me worry so much! It's just his job and not about our relationship! I though he's breaking up with me, even though we still haven't move on to that level!
"What is it? You're making me feel anxious I'm about to die in here!"
He chuckled and hugged me, his embrace was warm against my cold one and I could feel myself getting a bit sleepy. I pinched his waist while he laugh, his whole frame shook. I glared at him and bit his arm before he stop laughing and glance at me with hooded eyes.
"Wei! I'm still waiting for your response!" I hissed at him since my brother is still asleep.
He's sleeping this early, it's early for him, since he needs to wake up for a project that their company is about to embark on. My parents are out for a date and will probably be here tomorrow morning.
"Fine, it's just...my work schedule is for six months... I- I'm sorry I didn't think I'll meet you again and-"
"It's okay, it's your job. I'm also a bit guilty since I can't always accompany you"
We're not teenagers anymore, we're already adults who know that life doesn't always revolve on grades and love. Couples would always have some setbacks and since we both have a very demanding job, we can't always think that we'll always be together acting lovey dovey.
Life isn't that easy as books portrayed it to be, but it wasn't far fetched from it.
I was about to get up to fetch him a warm cup of water when he weaved his hands in my waist and hugged me.
"Hm, is bao bei acting up again?" I quietly laugh at his fake shivers and hit his hands that we're placed on my waist. "I'll get you some warm water, wait for me here"
He pouted his lips and sulk on the corner of the couch while I silently shook my head from his childish tantrum. Not long after, I arrive with a warm cup of water on my hand and gave it to him, he muttered a quiet thank while I look at him.
Even though there's dark circles underneath his eyes, he still look so handsome. His face were more angular and much more mature compared to before though the playfulness in his eyes never changed.
He's devilishly handsome and everyone would purposely sin just to see him.
"Is my dearest Gongzhu satisfied at this handsome, sexy and stunning face of mine?"
"Yes, this Gongzhu is satisfied with our family's Goudan face"
His face instantly crumpled like a paper when I called him Goudan while I snickered at his blackened expression.
"So...what else is it that you're not telling me?"
His adam apple rolled and he avoid looking at me. This Goudan, how dare he lie to this Gongzhu?! Wait- I'm acting too much!
"Hm?"
"Um...I may have a... particular scene in the movie where...we are...close"
It didn't take long for me to understand his vague words and I instantly wore a cold expression.
Hmph, I knew it! Being lovers, not quite, to this A-list celebrity of mine is just too troublesome!
"My dearest Gongzhu, I promise I will never look at girls anymore, I wouldn't even dare to talk to them! Also, I will have my body double to act that scene, it won't be me whose acting it!"
He continued to hold my hand and pester me with his coaxing words. I know I'm acting like a child but you can not get angry at this. We aren't a couple yet but now, he's about to leave and be with women who are more qualified, more beautiful than me.
Suddenly, tears fall from my eyes and I didn't wait for his reaction and covered my face with my hands.
Now he kept saying sorry over and over, hugging me to his embrace as if he wanted me to be stuck on his body, never leaving his side.
I tried to stop my tears, fearing that my brother would hear but it seems like my tears have their own mind and continued to fell like a broken dam!
"I'm sorry, Feng-er I'll stop, I won't act anymore okay? I will tell Lingjie and move in with you okay? We'll get married tomorrow, I'll take my- hiss! It's fine, bite me more, hurt me or punch me just don't cry anymore. It pains my heart Feng-er, I can't, I don't want to be the reason for your tears"
I stopped crying and released his wrist before rubbing them gently, trying to ease away the pain I've brought for him.
"I'm sorry...hic...I'm sorry for....for acting like a c-child" I whispered as sobs wrecked my whole body.
"It's alright, I'm sorry too Feng-er, it won't happen again. I'll leave the entertainment world-"
"No! No, you don't have to! It's just a moment of impulse, think clearly. I'm just too emotional today, probably my great aunt's fault but anyway, don't end your career just because I cried. It's your job, you've been doing this because you love this job and I don't want to become selfish by holding you back"
He continue to hold me in his embrace while he rub circles on my palm. I eventually calmed down and looked at him once more.
It would be selfish of me to tell him to stop his job just because I'm feeling insecure. He have his own life, it's his passion and love isn't enough reason for me to let him quit. If I did let him quit while I do my job then that would be selfish of me.
There's so many things we have yet to experience in the world and love isn't the only reason we live for.
"I love you, I'm just insecure just promise me that if you want to leave me, you'll tell me. Personally"
He sighed and knock his knuckles on my forehead before placing it on mine.
"I love you and no, I won't promise you since it won't happen, ever. It's normal for you to be insecure, I am too since I love you so much. It's normal to cry and to be angry, it's part of a relationship. Love isn't just rainbows and unicorns, love is shaped by two people who knows what they want, who are in the same wavelength and despite of the hurricane, is still together"
As I look into his eyes, I could see a promise, not of forever, but a promise that he would definitely uphold. I would never thought that in my life, there's a person whose willing to stay with me for the rest of my life. Yes, I still am in doubt whether we could stay together but I know, his love is real.
As I leaned to him, he naturally did the same. The air spoke of ambiguity, the moon shied away from tge two lovers as we continue to decreased the space between our lips and then.
"What the hell are you doing to my sister?!"
Shoot!
"Gege no!"
"Brother in law, my name's Hao Ming Chen and I'm your sister's suitor"
F*ck, why does this have to happen now?!
Notes:
• Wei, is used to call someone, the intonation depends on the mood.
• Bǎobèi, means "baby" in English, it's used to refer to a lover or a young child.
• Great Aunt, Chinese slang for Menstrual period.