"Timooonnn! Timon!"
My mother kept yelling for the past five minutes. She didn't care if anyone had to lose their heads for this day to be perfect. As for me I just wanna get this show on the road.
Y'all feeling me?
Yeah you should. After all I am the one getting married to that greasy haired wimp.
Robin
The love of my life my mother would call him. More like a lottery ticket to sitting with the high and mighty but you dont see me complaining though. He has quite a good sense of fashion and an impeccable taste in italian hors d'oeuvres.
Can someone please be frank with him and tell him to quite the hair gel or whatever it is called? He wears that stuff like it's his gateway pass to heaven like damn right he is going to behold those gates after groping his nana's nurse in the lighthouse last month.
And I dont just give a damn.
He'll probably die of herpes before i clock thirty.You know what they say..... where there is no menopause there is hope people. Just so you know I am not the villain in this story I am the girl who is looking out for herself by herself.
"Here you are you...you..you life sized barbie doll."Grandma swayed in gripping two small shots of vodka.
"Grandma!" She pulled me for a hug and a spilled a little vodka on my robe... I hate to say this but I think grandma is drunk..........as hell.
"You know when I was your age, I had a lot of fun. Papi Joe's bar was the real thing girllll." Her gruff voice resounded "I was always on the special hit list on friday night till your grandpa knocked me up" She gulped a large shot with teary eyes.
"Mum! You have got to be kidding me. Seriously!! Perfect time to get drunk alright." Mother fumed as the sarcasm rung her brown skin becoming a shade darker.
"Louise *hiccup* as I was saying *hiccup* When I said hitlist I didn't mean an assassin or songwriter *hiccup* you know too well what i meant *hiccup* hon."Grandma's lips spread into a wide smile just enough to notice the smudges of red lip stick way beyong her lip line.
Welcome to my world. Turns out my father is the only normal human around here.
Wait till you see my siblings.
Anastasia and Archibald.
Their names sound so poise you would think I was the black sheep of the family. You have no idea.
Not to exaggerate but I am probably my mother's saving grace. If I managed to turn out like them ,she would go mad. At twenty three she still feels like I need help in my choice of fashion.
"Timon! There you are. I have been looking all over for you." "Oh darling Marie,come on loose up and let your skin be as radiant as the Sahara sand."
Timon threw his hands in the air trying to make meaning to the sweet nonsense he just said. He always dressed wierd all in the name of being a stylist.
I scrunched my nose in digust as the smell of the strong perfume wafted through my nostrils. My mother looked at me and raised her eyebrow like she expected me to comment on it but I knew better.
I scratched my eyebrow trying to distract myself from the evident disturbance in the atmosphere *cough* Timon *cough*.
"Louise Fernel, young lady what did I tell you about doing that."
"Mmpphhh" I slumped into the nearset chair and blew out a puff of air.
"Say it."
"Ummm...do not scratch your eyebrows to avoid unnecessary flow of bloodto that point cos.."
"Because" Mother tapped her foot on the ground impatiently. The Louis Vuitton kitten heels made quite a hell of a noise.
"Because hair tends to grow faster when blood rushes under the follicle and stuff like that." I knew she wasnt satisfied but I didnt care.
"Can someone please bring out my daughter's wedding dress." Mother turned to me " Now let's take a look at this classic baby. Mama can't spend $20000 for nothing." She giggled clapping her hands in anticipation but I was too engrossed in my breakfast. What? I love food okay?
Mother scoffed" At least show a little more enthusiasm. You never appreciate the things I do for you. I had to call a good designer to check the authenticity of the fabric."
Now it was my turn to scowl and her face contorted into an angry scowl.
"One day you will wake up and realise that I have done nothing but help you achieve your dreams."
"Lady Marie" a maid squealed.
"Shut up and let me finish talking to my daughter."
"Lady Marie,this is urgent."
"Shut up you imbecile." Mother growled.
She always does that. Makes a mountain out of a teeny weeny mole hill.She placed the back of her hand on her forehead and let out a dramatic sigh "Look at me... I am just fifty and I already got so much wrinkles. I feel soooo sooo sooo...." She immediately collected herself and adjusted her kimono.
"Never mind sweetie. I will never use that word . It is not meant for my type."She took a deep breath and recited her mantra.
Bla Bla Bla I am goals...I am a woman.
Something along that line. I stopped listening to it when puberty struck. Nothing discourages one more than skin acne.
"....but I feel sooo..."
Grandma and Madeline burst in."Marie we have a problem." "What mum???"
"The dress is ummmhhh you might want to take a look at this."
Pushing everyone in her way,mother rushed to the closet.
"Nooooooooo!!! My hardwork !! All the toil...the dress is...it's ruined!!!!!" My mother's scream circulates the whole house as I met her on her needs holding whatlooks like a dress thoroughly ripped at the middle.
Welll!
Wellllllll!
Welll!
At least someone decided to end the tragedy before it began.