Lusso walks into dinner just behind me, and though it was purely coincidental we got a few odd glances from those already at the table. One of those odd glancing being Mr. King's.
Lusso had departed the medical wing hours ago, leaving me to smuggle some pain ointment back to my room for him. I showered, still rattled from what happened with Jacob, and desperately wanting to rinse off the smell of his breath that seemed to cling to me.
I plop down with a thud, not thrilled to be having meatloaf tonight. I know there's human meat mixed in it.
I'm irritated from the day, disappointed in myself because of what I let happen to Jacob. I'm also at the end of the my mental rope, the emotions I feel regarding Lusso catching up to me. From being absolutely distraught over the wounds covering his body, to the intense rush of butterflies I get whenever he's near, it's a rollercoaster I can't keep up with.
Also, the sudden appearance of my period this afternoon isn't helping. Thank the lord I have Cidney, who was more than willing to provide me with what I needed- tampons and chocolate. Friendship goals.
Dinner is slow, and conversation short. My heart sinks when Lusso takes a phone call and leaves, but I do my best to not outwardly show it.
I slink back to my room, sulking over relatively nothing. I simultaneously worry that Lusso won't come by tonight, that he got busy somewhere else and won't have time for me. Why does that thought upset me so much more?
The dreariness of everything underground is eating away at me too. I miss the sun. The pasty lights overhead meant to replicate it don't have the same warmth, the same pure light that I crave.
I barley make it to my room before I break down. I lock my door and sit against it, sobbing into my knees.
But then I'm just so angry at myself, finding my actions so pathetic. But I don't want to stop crying and do something about it, so I just sob harder about how pathetic I am.
I don't remember falling asleep there, but I wake up to someone picking me up. I grasp at the muscular chest, and immediately know its Lusso.
I'm relieved he's here. I didn't want to fall asleep without seeing him. Even though I already kinda did.
He lays us down on the bed together, still holding me close to him. My body is stiff from being locked in the position on the floor, and I melt into the bed.
"Love, were you crying?" his voice just next to my ear.
My eyes flutter open, and I feel as if I've been caught doing something wrong. "N-no. I wasn't." I answer to quickly.
"Bella," he warns, "Don't lie to me."
"Yes," I squeak.
He roughly pulls me against him, until there's no space left between. "Why?" the word carrying pain.
"I miss the sun."
"You miss the sun huh?" He asks thoughtfully.
I nod my head against him.
He's quiet for a good while, lost in his own head. I listen carefully to his heart beat, swimming in the steady rhythm of his pulse. The strong thud grounds me, and tears feel so impossibly far away.
"I need you to be in your room tomorrow at 9:00, okay?" He tugs me from my thoughts.
"In the morning?" I pounder, confused.
"Yes."
I decide not to question him, ready to take any opportunity to be with him. "Okay."
"Are you to tired to watching another episode of the Vikings?" he turns his head down to me.
"Sure, my power nap did me well." I smile, excited to please him.
"Great," he grins too, then flips on the TV.
We watch a few episodes, me still hanging tight to him. I'm starting to really like the characters, the setting, and the style. The show is beautifully dark, and has a unique appeal in the fact that the story is true.
As the show plays, Lusso warm lips kiss the top of my head, and I'm frustrated my hair was in the way, because I didn't get to fully feel his lips.
I wrap my arms around him tightly, and he returns the favor. I'm starting to wonder what I'll do if I ever have to be without his company again. thought I don't wonder long, before I fall into the oasis of sleep.
*****
The next morning I head into the clinic early. I have to make sure everything is in order there, and if its not I need time to fix it. Other than filling out a few new prescriptions and checking some paper work, nothing new or exciting.
I'm buzzing with nerves for what Lusso has planned, and I'm nearly bouncing in my seat at breakfast. I catch his eye a few times and smoother a smile, and I'm able to tell he does too.
I rush back to my room, so thrilled and impatient to see what we'll be doing today. I sit in my room, and don't have to wait long for Lusso to pop through the roof.
"You ready?"
"For what?" I draw.
"Ah ah Bella," he tsks. "It's a surprise." He throws me a wink. "Grab a swim suit."
All the cloths I have were here when I arrived, so I don't know what's all in my wardrobe, nor where it came from.
I search up and down for something, anything, but find nothing.
"I have to go see Cidney. I can't find anything!" I cry, not sure what to do. What if she doesn't have one either?
"Don't worry about it, love. We'll stop and get you one."
Stop and get me one? There's no way we're leaving the compound, right? I decide its best not to get my hopes up, considering the chances are so slim.
"Okay, time to go up." He points to the ceiling, then grins at my shocked look.
While I'm highly skeptical, I let him hoist me up. The space is large enough to not be claustrophobic, but not comfortable either. Lusso is absolutely cramped, and I'm not sure how he does it. He set the grate down quietly, and he crawls ahead leading the way.
He sets me through the vent to his room, then follows me down. There's a large duffle bag laying one the floor, and I glare at it.
"You may not enjoy the next part of this very much..." he cringes. I hope its not what I think it is.
"What is that for, Lusso?"
"That's your way out of here," he answers sheepishly.