It's raining again today. The sky has been dark and gloomy for the last two. It's hard to tell as to when it will stop. My ears are filled with the soft pitter-patter on the roof.
The scent of wet grass and wood evades my nose while I play my shamisen my father bought me years ago.
As the sheets of water hit the roof, I sit playing for my mother who sits staring off into the forest line far off in front of me.
My mother's name is Kumi, a well known and loved Geisha. She is known for dancing, playing skills, and heart-stopping beauty. She has long silky brown hair, flawless skin, a great figure, and her amazing personality.
She sits now effortlessly by the window fanning herself; surrounded by silk and hair ordainments hanging from her hair. All tokens of love from my father. The most precious thing in the world.
I am nowhere near her indeed physically but I know I am beautiful in my ways. I have the dark hair my father has, the pearly white skin of my mother, the body but the outspoken personality of my father.
I sigh and keep playing letting the notes carry my mind far off into deep thought.
"Ren, please stop playing. You are giving me a headache." She looks to me in annoyance and then back into the clouds.
"Yes, mother." I sit up, starting to walk towards my room when I hear a loud voice.
"Ren! My beautiful daughter, I am home." My father steps into the room and a smile lights across my face.
My father Sanyu, is a general who works for the King. He's one of the finest men in the army. Full of bravery and strength to serve his nation. He towers over my mother and me with his dark black hair and built body.
"Dad!" I run over quickly and hug him.
"Ren," he chuckles "I've missed you." He pats my cheek then heads over to my mother to give a hug.
We are one of the highest-ranking families in all of Japan; the White Lotus. My father's family is made of up all of Japan's finest warriors whereas my mother comes from a long line of famous Geisha. Pride plays the biggest part in each of our lives on both sides of the family.
Pride is what has kept the Lotus clan and my mother's geisha line going on for decades.
I am the supposed "love" of the lotus since I am the only female to be born from such dominating families.
I watch them from the kitchen in awe knowing that someday, I'll have to marry for the better of my family. In my mind, I know that I am strong enough to hold myself without unnecessary support such as a husband. But, my parents say otherwise.
I leave for them to have their moment and head off to the kitchen to prepare a meal for us to eat. My mind fills with the horrifying possibilities of husbands my parents could pair me with for marriage.
A rich man with money to shower me with gifts, a serious man who wished for me care by his side, and nothing more. Or a family man like the others I see out in the town.
It bores me to think that one day, I would be stuck caged to a man who would love me for all my soul and being. There isn't such a thing... Is there? I shake my head. No, that's such a foolish thing to think.
"Mom! Dad! The food is done cooking!" I holler at them from the other end of the house while I set the food on the table.
"Don't yell like that, Ren. You'll ruin your voice." My mom comes around the corner with my father hand in hand. I plop down at the table rolling my eyes as I get my chopsticks.
We talk about dad's adventures out in the battlefields and the harsh conditions he has to bear alone without his caring family. He tells us it's nothing but my mother knows he is lying and misses us both. It falls silent after a few minutes of us eating the delicious food.
My father speaks up first," Your mother and I are starting to worry about you, Ren." He looks at me with a dead expression and I stop chewing, confused as to what he might say next.
"You haven't paid much attention to whom you are going to marry and your skills on playing have improved only partially." He looks at my mother for help but her face reads nothing but agreement.
"I'm sorry, but it's not like I need a man to do everything for me. I can do things on my own." I try to get out of this but my father catches on to my excuse.
"It doesn't matter if you think you are capable! You need a life, a future you can depend on. You need someone to be there for you. A companion." He says.
"Now, your mother and I have contacted one of the other powerful clans. They promised to let their son marry him if you were to meet and-"
Something snaps inside of me, "No, I don't! Just because you feel like I need someone doesn't mean, I need to lock myself to a man that I'm not in love with!"
"It doesn't matter if you are in love or not! You are marrying for the better of this clan and our family. You are the only female child to come from the Lotus and you slack off like a small child. Your coming of age where childish things need to be put away!" He slams his hand down on the table upset.
"No. I'm not a child but I don't want something that I don't want." My throat tightens and I start to feel tears stinging my eyes.
"You haven't given much attention to anything around here. Your mother and I are thinking that you-"
I feel a tear slide down my cheek and my vision starts to cloud, "I'm constantly shrouded in my mom's shadow. I don't need to be put in an arranged marriage with some person I don't even know!" I run outside through the rain pouring as it soaks my kimono and hair letting tears pour from the hurt inside me.
I find a rock to sit under a willow tree hidden away from my house and let my tears mix with the rain making it all one big wet mess on my face. I shiver more when the cold wind hits me from behind making my tears slow and calm me.
I hate this constant feeling like I'm not strong enough to do anything on my own. The feeling of not being free to make my own decisions. I sigh trembling with sadness and cold knowing they are probably upset with each other again for doing something to hurt the family again.
I put my head down for a minute to clear my mind when I'm hit with a sudden chill down my spine.
*SNAP*
I whip around to look around my surroundings, just leaves, and branches. That's all, right? My heartbeat quickens when I suddenly feel like I'm being watched. Turning to the left of myself, I see a shadow disappear behind a tree.
"Who's there? Show yourself! You are in trouble if you do not show yourself!" Nothing moves.
"Hey-"
"Ren! Where are you? Ren! Please where are you?" My father's loud voice is getting closer to me and the crackling of branches becomes more prominent under the rain. I get up from the rock and head to his voice.
He comes into view and I shout his name, "Dad, I'm here!" I walk over to him and he hugs me.
He pulls me back in shock, "Your soaking wet! Let's get you inside before you catch a cold." He opens an umbrella for me and we walk back to our house leaving that shadow figure looming in the distance.
My body shutters with the looming thought of it.
"Is something wrong, Ren?" He looks at me confused at my sudden body movement.
I shake my head, "No... Nothing at all."
~~~~
Over the next few days, the rain has finally let up against us and has dried up enough for me to explore the market again. The familiar questions fill my head, who is there? What's new? Anything exciting to see?
I wonder the streets for new clothes and exploring the foods of the vendors there. I buy some sweets from a vendor and turn to see a shadow shoot away out of the corner of my eye.
My body freezes with shock, could it be the shadow I saw from the other day?
I slowly walk away hoping that my head would calm itself and head down further into the market looking at the beautiful clothes that hang to be sold.
But, when I get another feeling like I'm being watched again. I turn to see the shadow walking past a building and around the corner.
Curiosity takes a hold of my body and my first reaction is to follow it.
I slowly walk through the crowd towards the building and as I'm about to turn the corner everything turns black.