The old crone next to me lifts her hand, more light spreading out over the water. Whatever is heading our way dives down into the waters depths, making me sweep my gaze around, my hand on my weapon.
"Don't be stupid, get your hand off your gun, it's Vartonix." The old crone grumbles, shaking her head and rolling her eyes at my reaction.
I do as she says as Vartonix's head pops out of the water a few meters away. I should have known better in this place. Vartonix starts paddling, showing us the way to go. The eerie calm and quiet is no more as he paddles, splashing and panting as he goes. After a few minutes, I'm able to see more of Vartonix's body, but the water still looks dark underneath us as we go.
The old crone stands quietly, peering ahead into the area that stays lit, from her orbs that fly higher up and ahead of us. When Vartonix is mostly out of the water, is when I can see the bottom of the cave again. My breath comes out shakily, feeling more at ease with out the anxieties of dark, unseen things possibly being under me.
As the tray like transport that we used to get across the water, scrapes against the caves floor, the queen's old crone barks out, "Jump."
I don't hesitate and jump off onto the cave floor, thankfully landing on dryer ground than I expected. Vartonix is farther up ahead of us, shaking his coat dry, the smell of wet dog permeating the air.
"Well, that's unpleasant." The crone queen utters, sniffing the air. She rests her gaze on me, "Come on, phénix, let's go." She begins walking after Vartonix, and I follow, keeping up as Vartonix lazily walks ahead of us, the ground vibrating, dirt and dust falling from the ceiling with each footstep.
"Mon petit phénix, pourquoi es-tu comme une souris quand je suis là ?" (My little phoenix, why are you like a mouse when I am around?)
I glance over at the old crone, formulating a response, "I do not wish to say anything to offend you, your majesty." I say cautiously.
"Ha! Offend me?! Ha! My little phoenix, you know how to make an old woman laugh." She cackles before we both go silent again. "You know, when I fed you the phoenix berries, I did not realize who you were. I should have, but with the war going on above, I had been smelling numerous things, so I did not give your scent any thought."
"You didn't realize who I was? What are you talking about? Your majesty?" I raise a brow in confusion.
"Ever wonder where your middle name came from?" The old crone casts a arched brow, indicating I'd be stupid if I didn't know the answer.
"You?" I raise my brows right back at her.
She nods, chuckling. "I had a lover a long time ago, before I met my mate, and we had a child together. However, his and the child's life was in danger if they stayed with me. So I had to do what I could to protect them and sent them back to Earth. I would visit as often as I could over the years, but eventually, my lover passed away and then my daughter, then my grandchildren. You're my grandchild going back generations, to the point I have lost count."
I furrow and arch a brow at her, my lips pursing in thought as I ask, honestly, "Would you have given me the berries if you knew who I was back then? Or does the coincidence that we're related somehow justify your actions to yourself?"
The old crone queen shakes her head, "Girl, I gave you those berries because I was supposed to. So I don't have to convince my self I did the right thing. Ungrateful grumbletonian. Do you not realize what you have become? What you have done for so many?! How many people you have saved?! How do you justify all the pain you've caused to the families that lost their child? Mother and Father? Brother, sister, cousin or spouse?!"
I snap back, "Justify?! They're fighting for their freedom from your husband! From a life of enslavement, death and worse! I am not forcing them to fight! I asked them to join the fight! They knew what they were getting into." I keep my head high, knowing that everyone who fought was told they might not make it.
"But did all of them really?" She twists her face to me in to a knowing look. "Your little human friend, Lili? You told her, you'd watch her back no matter what.... Yet you were not there because you were busy with other affairs of war. Half of the soldiers lost, have never been in any type of altercation before, did they know it would be like this? Their naivety about such things was like yours that night. You knew better than to accept anything from a stranger, yet you greedily ate those berries. I did it to help save my lovers extended family, just as I promised to long ago." She scoffs shaking her head at me.
"Lili and half those soldiers knew that there was a possibility to not survive! I was never told what those berries would do to me!" I stop, clenching my fists, trying to reign in my anger. Rage that I had buried deep within me for years, was rising to the surface. I needed to remember that this was the Fae Queen I was speaking with. She could destroy us all easily.
"Oh, I'm so tired..." The queen mutters, pausing in her steps.
'Great...' I think to myself.
"What is holding you two up? IT is not much farther now." Vartonix comes trotting back to us.
I jab a thumb in the queens direction and roll my eyes.
Vartonix huffs and his tail goes to the ground, "Climb on, I will finish taking us there."
I hop on as Vartonix holds his body still, letting me climb up onto his back. A few minutes later, the queen and I, sit quietly in tense silence between us, as Vartonix trots along the cave interior.
"The oracle told me that I was needed in France by the sea, that I should be in a hole by a tree with gunfire ringing around me. That I was to give the distressed one the Phoenix berries, as long that individual wished to do 'acts of compassion and not fear death'."
The young Queen harumphed, gritting out, "I have never said this to anyone before, Sin." She crosses her arms across her chest and stares intensely at me, "I regret what you have had to go through to become who we need you to be for this. My desire to protect my offspring though, involves more than just you. There are hundreds of thousands of my descendants on this Earth, and they all are needing you to help save them. I have given you what you wanted, but because it is not exactly what you thought it would be, you are angry at me?" She scoffs, "Children these days are so ungrateful."
She takes a breath as I stare blankly at her, knowing if I open my mouth, she might retaliate physically. "Mary Lirael Douglas..."
I cut her off, "LaCroix."
She glares at me with a cocked brow, "SIN," She emphasizes she's not saying my name again, "I'm sorry that you have had to suffer the way you have. It doesn't change or heal your wounds, but you chose to let those events make you, even when they almost broke you. Not many are capable of achieving that, you have done well, and for that I'm proud of you." Her demeanor lightens, her face softens and she cracks a grin at me.
'I don't know how to react to this, she just apologized to me? A Queen apologized to me?'
I stare off into space, trying to understand why she's even bothering to apologize.