"WHO?!" I pull myself back from Elena in the seat in utter denial.
"NO ... NO... YOU'RE PULLING MY LEG. You and them are in on a big practical joke on me right?"
This has to be a joke there is no way that that's the truth! I'm looking at Elena and her gigantic sorrow filled eyes as tears continue to stream down her face as she shakes her head no.
"I would not lie about something like this ever, Sin. If I had known...." She trailed off thinking about her thoughts and feelings going through her right now.
I couldn't accept that this was true, no.... there's no way....
"I've got to go talk to him...." I mutter and open the door to get out.
"NO! Sin, please don't make me go back in there with him. I can't handle being around him right now." She begged me sobbing. I lean over and hold her tightly in a hug as she cries.
"Don't worry, You can stay here or you can go rest in my room. It has a bathroom in there so if you need to you can avoid him as much as possible. After I'm done talking I'll come back in to you."
She nodded her head and we got out and walked into the house. John and Cass watched our every movement as I led her still crying to my room. I made sure I got her comfortable and snapped her plate from the table if she got hungry.
I walked out to the kitchen table and started looking over Cass from head to toe, thinking to myself that there was no way that what she had said was true.
"It's not true, right?" My own voice broke at I saw the saddened truth cross his eyes and the guilt that flooded them. "Right?" I now looked to John who avoided my gaze and shook his head.
Now I felt betrayed and disappointed looking at the one in front of me.
"PROVE IT!" I said crossing my arms anger starting to boil up in me.
"Sin...I..." Cass started..
I cut him off, "PROVE IT, PLEASE YOUR MAJESTY!" My hurt evident even with my attempted masking with anger.
Visible pain caught in Cass's features as he grimaced and stood up and changed in front of me into none other than Thietian.
My mouth parted slightly as I closed my eyes and broke down taking a seat before I hit the ground.
Thietian came to kneel by me, "Sin, it's still me Cass, can I please explain what's going on?"
Wiping my face I looked up, "You better explain this to me to where I can understand because I've had Cass in the same building as you at the same time I've seen video... Explain what THIS is!" I get up off the chair going to John. I needed my space from this Thietian/Cass before me.
John held me tightly still staying quiet, no doubt wanting to hear about this too.
Thietian took a deep breath, I could tell he was hurt by our reactions and he was trying to control those emotions.
" Not long after my mother, the Queen Lirael of Mab, disappeared my father decided that I was weak and useless. All because I wanted to look for her. I was still young even for a Fae and knew one of the reasons my mother left was because my father was cruel to everyone. He wanted her to use her powers for his bidding and she refused. She left, my brothers and sisters were in their own households already, but I the youngest was still under the roof of the king.
I was beat often, starved, forced to do things to other Fae that ...." his voice broke before he continued, "that after decades of his treatment that I finally ran from his palace. I was caught and as punishment he forced me into a living human body.... The body of Caspian." He changed back into Cass and smiled sadly at me and went back to being Thietian.
"The boy who's family was killed by drug lords and was forced into a cell to become a human mule.... IF it had not been for you Sin, saving me and Cass ..... I, WE, wouldn't be here today."
"I could tell you had Fae blood in you when I saw you being dragged past the cells. That's why I attached to you and refused to leave you. I thought maybe you'd be able to help me and Cass be free of each other, permanently."
John piped up, "Why have you never said anything about it before now? Why act like you didn't know us when you met us the first time? Explain the being in two places but sharing a body?"
Thietian grimaced, "The only person who knew was Granny Sarah and she told me to keep it to myself. She caught us talking out loud to ourselves and she suggested not telling until I felt it was the right time. See, we share a body but we can morph.... for certain periods of time but we only know how to morph as of recently now... When my father calls me home and is the only time I am able to separate. The first time I met you in the office was when I found that out. My father had me do 'diplomacy' work with some of the government and I met Lewis who asked me to meet you then. Forced to do his misleading diplomacy, I did it because mainly because of the threat he gave to kill Cass. However, as Cass was still young you never told me how you became the way you are" He shrugged.
"Curiosity got the better of me. That's why I was able to meet you and Cass was seen on the video. When I left the office that day I was snapped to my fathers court before instantly put back into the body with Cass. I could only talk to Cass while stuck in his body, so I did what I could, just help him through life."
"So why did you never say anything?"I asked him.
"I didn't want you to think I was crazy I only recently have been able to morph and it's never for longer than a few hours. I used to think that the king was the one who controlled how long we could morph, let alone separate, but I don't think that is the case anymore. The last time I tried to stay morphed as myself longer, I was able to start to separate but we both felt like we were dying. Now I can change this body between our two appearances, but I can't leave it unless my father does it."
He looks down sadly and changes to Thietian, "We seem to have become of one body and mind though I don't feel right when my father was pulling me back to the courts."
"So you're saying you're now the same person?" John asked him.
Thietian morphed back to Cass as he nodded. "I know I am a freak, two people in one body. One human, one Fae. I understand why Elena doesn't want to be with me, why she's repulsed by me. I'm too different like this and I don't know what I'm really offering her in the long run. I love her and I want to be there for her and the baby. Me and Thietian also both know that something has to be done about his father, he can't turn the humans into his slaves just holding on for the next high. I don't know what's going to happen. All I know now is I should have told her the truth,.... any of you the truth... I just was afraid to."
"I'm sorry this is a lot to process right now." I grab my head feeling the headache coming on by the overload of information and realization that the whole time ..... the whole time... these two have been one in the same.
"But Cass, Thietian.... You're not a freak." John goes to him clutching his shoulder as he looks him in the eye.
"YOU ARE FAMILY." The look that crosses Cass's face is almost too much to bear and John pulls him in tightly for a hug.
John was right, this was still Cass and he was family...
"I'm sorry Cass, John's right. You're family, OUR family, no matter what." I give him a hug and he grips onto us his body shakes as the heavy burden of his secret for the past two decades falls from shoulders.
"I'm disappointed not in you, but us, for making you feel like you couldn't tell us sooner though." I squeezed him tighter and looked up seeing Elena.
Silently crying, pain and another emotion filled her face.... Longing ..... That was the other emotion.
I motioned for her to come over and she shook her head and went back into the room.
"I'm going to go check in on Elena, you guys go outside and talk, fresh air will help clear your head."
John wrapped his arm around Cass's shoulders and walked him outside as I went into the room.
Elena was laying there on the bed still sobbing clutching her stomach with one arm, her heart with the other. I sat next to her and rubbed her back to help calm her down.
"Please.... take...me... home...." She got out trying to calm herself down.
I sighed and concentrated, snapping us to her flats bedroom on her own bed. She looked around and sighed.
"Thank you." She sniffled and went to the restroom and got some cold water on her face and some tissues.
"Elena, tell me what's going through your mind right now. It can be every bit of random and all over the place as I imagine your mind is, but saying things out loud can help. I'm here to listen to you, I will not judge. I love Cass, he's family, but he messed up not telling you or anyone about this sooner. If you're not ready to talk yet that's fine too love."
Elena took a few more breaths, her head up to look at the heavens as if it would keep the tears from spilling.
"Sin, I'm going to have his child. I trusted him and he kept this from me. There's a whole other person in him for crying out loud. I don't know who am I in love with Cass or this Prince Thietian. I mean what does this mean for Cass with a Fae in him? Will I grow old and die as he sits there and watches? Never growing any older? What about the baby? Will it be human or Fae? What else has lied about to me, or even you as his family?"
"Well Elena, maybe you should ask yourself this question. Do you still... love him?" I hesitate not knowing what the answer may be.
"Yes of course I do." She wipes her face with the tissues before I continue.
"Then are you willing to forgive him if this is the only thing he's kept from you? Well anything pertaining to Thietian at least. If not, you should ask yourself if you can at least be able to have a good enough relationship as far as sharing the responsibility of raising the child?"
She looks at me confusion filling her face. "I don't know."
"That's fine Elena, give it some time think about it. I'll tell him to come talk to you in a week. Will that give you some time to work through these feelings and maybe realize where you want to go from here with him?" I look to her for confirmation and worry crosses her face.
"Don't you guys have your first mission coming up in a few days? What happens if something happens to him?" She looks scared and anxious in that moment.
"Oh Elena, I think you've answered my questions just now." chuckling slightly I give her a hug.
"I'm going back to the house. Let me know when you're ready or if you want to talk to him sooner. The mission is not for another 3 days." I get a nod out of her before I snap back to the house.
I walk outside and see a hopeful face look up at me before looking away realizing I'm alone. John sits next to him as the quiet support for him.
"She said she still love you Cass, she just doesn't know how to handle all this right now. Give her some time to think about things."
He nods and I sigh again.
"This is sort of awkward to be honest. Do we still call you Cass? Or Thietian? I mean .... I still have questions for you too." I realize that may have been putting it bluntly considering the emotional atmosphere but curiosity got the better of me.
Cass let out a forced chuckle, "Just call me whatever face you see, make it easy."
"So how long have you known what your father was planning? If you went and helped bring John back why didn't you say anything about it to me when we first saw him? Why are you now just doing all this?" I ask him sternly trying to make sense of a few things.
He morphed back into Thietian who stood up. "If you are angry about it be angry with me not Cass, I wouldn't tell him everything while I was away. I gave him some information but not enough for my father to figure out I was switching sides. This was to protect all of you and about John.... I was not certain whether or not my father had messed with him. I'm sorry, none of it was to hurt you."
None of it was done to hurt me?....
I didn't realize what happened in the next instant until I was pulling my arm back to drop it at my side.
Thietian was on the ground clutching his mouth that was bleeding and John jumped up and grabbed me just in case I was going to do more.
Thietian spit some some blood out and grimaced. "I guess I deserved that."
He morphed back into Cass. "Yeah you did, but I didn't asshole." Cass clutched his jaw and I immediately regretted not having enough control to stop myself.
"Cass! I'm sorry!" John let go of me as I fell to the ground next to him to hold his his face to look at where I hit him.
He pulled back from me, "I'm fine. I'm just going to go ice it." He got up and walked off to the house as I sat there on my knees watching him go.
Now I'm disappointed in myself more than anything.