A fairly long chapter ahead.
You're My Dilemma
Scarlett's POV
The clock dings, as it strikes noon.
I'm dead.
My eyes glance at the pointed fingers of the clock and then back at my nervous fingers clinging the phone. Is it hot in here? Nope. I'm sweating, because I have to call my mom, any second now. I drop myself on the soft mattress of the bed. Trying to ease off some tension. Not helping much, I stand up again and start pacing. She's going to kill me. She would take the first flight here, not giving a tinker's damn about her company. I trace my chin and shake my head. No, I can't tell her truth. But, what will I tell her? That I was so tired, I slept for two days straight? Yeah, it sounds even more ridiculous in my head. But I can't exactly tell her about my lost track and the two times, I've already faced death.
And Jackson? My subconscious reminds.
What of him? There may be a lot of things I'm uncertain about, but there's one thing for sure. Mom shouldn't find out about him. If she does, the consequences would be dire and Jackson isn't already a honey in my pie. I groan from the new distress, that I'm blessed with. Glaring at the beautiful view outside the window I wonder, this is definitely a curse. Has there been a single good thing in my life, since I've come here? How bad can it actually get?
A phone rings distracting me. I snap out of my pitiful state, and look at the bedside table. Tony's. Why does he keep on forgetting his things everywhere? I mentally curse, as I grab it annoyingly.
"To –" I'm caught midway, when my eyes catch glance of the caller.
Mom?
I press the green dial and her sweet voice fills the room instantly.
"Thank goodness, you responded. Tony dear. I have been trying to get a hold of you, since last night. Tell me, is she okay now? Did she tell you anything about what happened to her in these two days? Do you still think it'll be inappropriate, if I came? I'm just standing by because of your word and presence. I know, you can take care of her," Then, the questions continue but there's one thing she says, that catches me off guard. "I need the kidnapper's details. Send a picture, if you can. It'll be great help."
Kidnapper? What?
"Tony? Dear?" She anxiously inquires, asking for his voice back. But, before getting all tangled up, I tap decline.
So, she knows. She knows, I've been missing. She knows, about my whereabouts. My condition, my health. She's being constantly updated and here I thought, she'll be worried sick. How stupid was I? I shouldn't be concerned about my confessions to her. Because she doesn't need my statements when she can spy on me, all too well on her own. I should have known, why she didn't call me. And Tony. He shouldn't even think, he's off the hook. I mean, how could he? He's my friend, yet he was being my mother's detective, all this time. He told her everything, from disappearance to my forty eight hours absence.
And who the hell is this kidnapper?
Are they talking about Jack? I guess, that's the case. Since he's the guy who accompanied me afterwards. After those horrible incidents. Mom thinks that he kidnapped me. But, why would she think that? Not unless, someone told her likewise. Tony, I mutter lowly. Jack wasn't my kidnapper, he saved me.
Someone is trying to prove otherwise. My subconscious hisses.
Angrily sniffing through the situation, I'm hit with the best idea for revenge. I quickly click the message bar, trying to investigate all the bits and pieces. But, he catches me off guard, as he gently snatches his phone from me.
"There's a thing called privacy." He adds in a very friendly tone. To which I narrow my eyes at. Look who's talking.
"Exactly. Isn't there?" I retort begrudgingly, as I fold my arms together.
When he sees the tab I was on, he begins, "Scarlett –" I turn my head, indicating that his explanation won't even weigh an ounce over my hurt. So instead I continue, "Just don't tell her anything else about Jack." Before he can say anything else, we are interrupted by a very noisy knock.
"I'm sorry. But, I meant to disturb,"
Bree announces, she sees Tony's nervous expression, my mad look and frowns at him. "If you guys want to catch the lunch time, at exactly the lunch time then I suggest you follow me to the patio." I nod, chasing after her only to be stopped by Tony's hand before me. I sigh annoyed with the mess, I'm unfortunately tangled with.
"Please just call her."
And on perfect cue, the phone starts vibrating in my hand. I huff, but respond. Twenty minutes later, after stopping my tongue from shouting at my own beloved mother, I end the call. I mean, she's so good at pretending, like she doesn't know a thing about what's happening here.
I take the salad bowl, that's being passed around the table. After dropping some on my plate, I dig in. They're all busy catching up, upon the details. The boys seem eager and so do the girls, to know what they have been up to. I giggle, when Roman announces that he decided to take Ethan shopping accompanied with Tony. Who exceptionally hated the idea. Roman teases him by reminding Ethan, about the girl he helped with the directions. "Only the problem was, he didn't know them either. So, she ended up scoffing and left saying, 'What a waste of time'." We literally have a laughing fit. Whilst, Ethan scowls, "She was so rude." Bree amid her laughing fit, taps his hand and comments, "I like her."
When the commotion dies down; we eat in peaceful silence. Until, Hazel intrudes my feast, "So, Scarlett. What," As she eyes Jack who has just joined us on the huge lunch table, looking disheveled? Is he okay? My concerns speak too soon.
"Or who's your new center of attention?"
I start coughing, after I realize who she's aiming at. Taking a huge sip of water, I flinch when his hand softly touches my back and pats, like one does to a child. Jack advances, whispering just an inch from my ear, "Look up." I look straight, my cheeks flushed. Anticipating the situation, where everybody smiles and stares at us, sharing such proximity. I look up and then down at everyone with a very awkward smile. "I –" Just as he murmurs, "Careful." To which, Ashley awes a little too loudly. I continue, "I was talking to my mom." I mention, like it's the only thing that I do and that would save me from the intrusive questions ready to be fired at me. But, they don't really come and thankfully, nobody teases me any further.
After finishing the brunch. We all sit down enjoying the pleasant air. It's cool but the sky isn't clear, a bit dusky like it'll rain. I stretch my legs on the green grass and take a deep breath, resting my head over my outstretched arms beneath. Calculated breaths leaving me. Admiring the beautiful sky and wishing, if life would have been simple. Then, with a content and currently relaxed self, I ponder the events of today. A smile makes its way, towards my face.
How many ways are there to care?
The extent a mother goes, just to ensure the safety of her child. She doesn't pay heed, about how or whom. She just does it. My guilty soul adamantly considers, my overreaction. My mom did the right thing. After all, I wasn't responding, what would she have done? Finally, with a clear mind I put myself in her shoes. She checks, because she cares. I remember, my own words. Plus, dad's death has made her a little anxious about everything. I can't blame her. I'm all she has. And without further ado, I type her a text.
Tonight at 11?
Before, I have the chance to blink twice. I'm answered: Be punctual, young lady.
I'm engorged in a fit of giggles after that one. I love you, mum.
I put my phone down, to finally let the distress evaporate but my view is blocked. As Tony lingers above me, holding a hand out for me to take. I give out a huge sigh. Yes, I'm still mad at this fool. At least, he should have told me before exposing all the details-which I add-I had the right to tell her. I hardly budge at his obvious signals to stand. Ignorance is the best revenge, for now.
He sighs too and adds, "We need to talk." I sit back up ready to start anew argument but I'm interrupted. Uhm-Uhm. Jack coughs making his presence known. He looks so strikingly uneven with the land, he supports himself on.
Like a mark on a painting.
I direct my uneven gaze towards him and the way he stands with a boyish charm, both hands hidden in his black jeans pocket. Adam's apple bobs up, like he's nervous about what he's going to say. My heart softens. That's why, I can't say no to his invitation,
"A walk, perhaps?"
I can't help but smile. Caught in a trance, I get up and brush the dust off my blue slacks. So, when I stroll towards him. I know, I'm in deep. His poker face remains intact and those cold eyes stare at my every move, trying to shy me away. But, I keep my stance. When we walk together, actually side by side. I look back. Because, now it feels like a choice. Tony's pleading gaze doesn't leave me, when the distance grows. And the way, he turns away I feel like it's not just a physical distance that I've placed. It's funny, how some distance makes everything seem small. Whether it's a person, a thing or just feelings. Looking at the present, I sound almost selfish. But I forget the world, even myself, when I take a single glance at Jack.
How does he do it? Block my thought cloud?
Just then, Ethan jumps out of nowhere and whispers rather loudly for Jack to hear,
"You have your phone with you?" I bite my lip, fighting an awkward smile and nod quickly with my eyebrows drawing themselves together. I feel like a teenager sneaking out after dad's permission. He narrows his eyes at a very expressionless Jackson, "Good." Though, Ethan continues his warning stares and Jackson's promising threats.
"Oh-kay, let's go!"
I try to move Ethan's rigid body in front of me, when it remains immotile. I groan and walk past him, expecting Jack to follow. He does, with a calm exterior and I wait for him to catch up.
Observing the trees has never been this interesting. Especially, when the silence is eating us. The sunlight that washes over, glistening the cuticles of every leaf bunched on the huge deciduous trees. The beautiful weather might be added as a perk. But, it still doesn't stop the coyness spreading through my body, like a plague. And Jackson's exploring gaze is not helping. Multiply my nervousness by ten. So, this time when I begin speaking only to stop remembering the last time, I stammered. So, instead, I silently admire my feet that scrunch and rub against the rough and leafy forest surface. Suddenly, collecting the memory I earned five minutes ago. Did I really just accept this walk thing, because of Jack? I think, stealing a peek at him. Or was it because, I wanted to show Tony, how my priorities can change? If so then it would have wrecked -
"Watch it!"
He grasps my arm and pulls me back. A large lizard crawls through the land in front of me. I gasp repeatedly, after what seemed to be another life-saving attempt made by Jack. I look back at him, as he glares at the trees behind me, trying his best to not glare directly into my eyes.
"A Gila monster. Usually nocturnal and its bite quite painful. Latches onto one releasing venom into the wound for longer time and it may not cause death. But, the pain makes dying seem easier." He informs, not looking away from the trees nor letting go of my arm.
"Glare into my eyes." I challenge, hardly caring about the danger that lingers.
I know, I've surprised him with the reply because he clenches his jaw and does as he's told. Then, it happens. His coffee brown eyes corrode me with its powerful stare. I gulp, but don't back down, since I was the one to commence this.
"What exactly do you think of yourself?" He starts, clearly fed up of me.
"That every time you put your clumsy self into a dangerous situation, someone would magically appear to save you," I know, it sounds strange but his threats aren't affecting me. "Well, no Miss. Holmes it doesn't work that way! You have to learn to protect yourself and not waltz into every trouble carelessly." I stand still, very still. Wrecking my head over, why the damn thing's not working?
"Keep your eyes," He motions with his two fingers. "And your ears open." Then, continues with his hoarse voice, "Or else, you've got a petty mouth. You won't know, when you need it." Exactly, two minutes after the staring contest. I get my voice back and my ability to argue.
"It's not my fault. Trouble just seems to find me."
"Wrong," He curtly disagrees. "You find trouble." He whispers, moving impossibly closer to my face as he stares hard at my lips.
"You're the trouble." The intimacy scares me. "And you know what? I think, I like it."
My chest heaves. Suddenly, the air seems so concentrated and I'm afraid, I might turn claustrophobic.
His deep breath fans my face. My heart's racing at this point. That menace in his smirk, tells me he knows. He knows, he's got me confined. He seems so dangerous at this point, daring me to argue further. I fist my hands over the sides and gulp staring hard into his eyes. Mentally, cursing myself for asking him to look at me. The consequences are terrible! My stomach begins to bubble and unknown emotions capture me. Like in those romance novels, the girl describes her condition with butterflies in her stomach. But in my case.
It's a whole damn zoo.
Oh God, am I catching..? The realization hits me like a freaking truck.
No. No way. Jack's still a stranger and how can I forget, how rude he is? Or how cold?
Or how handsome? My subconscious adds.
Or how mean? Or how considerate? He saved your life thrice.
There's not much time to think, as the clouds break me out of my self arguments. They clatter and emerge. Though, my gaze is concentrated on him and his that doesn't engage. I can still feel the darkness that surrounds us, out of the blue. The climate wet. Our breaths escaping in pants. We're not even touching, but the proximity is one which can set this forest a blaze. Thunder tries it's best to interrupt our moment. But, I curse as it can't proceed to calm my shivering nerves. I lower my gaze, accepting the defeat. The cold rain drop that suddenly, falls on my flushed cheek; makes them feel like a thirsty desert land. That has been craving a rain that never came. I wipe it off and the drops get heavier. I look at the mere sky, beautiful as a landscape. My eyes competing with the water that starts flooding it. I wink, close and wink again. Both hands raised, I live the complete joy of rainfall. I twirl feeling like a ballerina, forgetting all about my tale. The villain, the hero. The good, the bad? My clothes drenched. The enchanting odor of wet soil. Let the moment take me with it. My hands waver, they shiver completely careless of the cold. It's the fun that matters now.
Clatter. Boom. Peal. Thunder brings me back to reality again.
Jack's smiling, viewing me like a fairy tale. I grin too remarking the truth. There might be thunder in the sky, but the lightening's surely between us.
He saunters forward and reaches for my waist. Pulls me closer and clasps his hand in mine. I dreamily stare up at him. Then, we move in the silent, calm rhythm of the rain. I'm falling. I'm falling hard and deep. Because, this beautiful ache in my heart is love. Oh, it's love.
And just like a drugs high wears off, my happy reverie is broken. And I snap out of it.
Jack isn't smiling, he's scowling. We aren't dancing, because he's standing beneath the tree trying to shade himself from the drizzle. Which isn't half as peaceful, as it's a dangerous storm. He glares at my form, like I'm the world's biggest fool. He grunts and shrugs off his jacket. Then, runs towards me like it's already too late. It is, isn't it? As I wonder to myself,
"Too late Mr. Wyatt, my heart has already started beating for you"
He goes on screaming some words, some curses. But, my love-struck self doesn't care. He spreads it around my arms, trying uselessly to protect me from further cold. He clenches his jaw, when he holds my shivering hands.
"Are you out of your damn mind?"
He thunders, rubbing my palms trying to create some friction for warmth. "A fool, you are." He curses and looks here and there for any ideas. "Idiot." Not stopping, even after constant motion his hands would be tired.
Then, like a flick of a light he jerks his head back. Suddenly, he pulls me into his arms and cages me in his tight embrace, leaving no escape. I freeze in my spot. This is the closest, I've ever been to him. My chest pressed to his and what is he doing exactly? I'm answered, when he rubs his rough hands all over the exposed parts of my body. "Holy f**k." He curses, as he takes in my freezing body temperature. I've never seen him this nervous before. Not with the creature, even. Is he okay?
"I'm fine, Jack." Which comes out squeaky and in intervals. I-ummm-fafafine.
"Shut up." He retorts, angrily. He's so rude, I marvel.
I cling to his now drenched T-shirt. We settle beneath the closest bark of a tree and stay in each other's embrace whether admiring or cursing the rain. The latter obviously for him. Though, the noise of the thunder keeps me on edge and every time there's a rumble, I cling to his shoulder sleeve even tighter. Though, his expression remains impassive and angry. He does not object or resist any attempts of holding onto him. But also, he doesn't even look at me, like he's disgusted with myself. My inner self consoles, let it slide. I'm cold, he's wet but still there's warmth in the place we sit. His body radiates heat that engulfs us and prevents us from freezing to death. When I begin to question, he callously brushes me off.
Excuse me? Okay no. No one is allowed to treat me like trash.
I let go of his arm, his sleeve and move away from him. Creating some space between us. Maybe, my better judgment is failing due to this closure, which we have experienced in the last fifteen minutes. Now, that the ecstasy of rain starts to drown. I'm hit with a fair realization.
Maybe, what I felt was just in the heat of the moment. Maybe, I got carried away. There are so many maybes. UGH! The storm has halted, it's slower now. Why can't things be simple with him? The rain has stopped its aggression. Why does he infuriate me so much? It's calm as a drizzle now. Damn him! When I think, he's cold and he'd let go. He's there to hold me through the storm. People can walk off in this weather. And when, I think he's here and we'll stay this way. He suddenly turns into a cold damn rock! Just why can't he do one thing? URGH!
He shrugged me off, but his smell. His sandalwood scent keeps invading my nostrils. Frustrated with my thoughts and beyond frustrated with his smell. I discard the source too. I take the jacket off and just as I do so, the cold air hits me and gets my hands quivering again.
Nothing is more important than self-respect. I remind my subconscious.
So, I move my hand for him to take it. But, just like his cold demeanor I maintain a straight face looking ahead. He doesn't take it. Fine. I throw it beside him.
He grits his teeth; breathing heavily from his nose. "Do not test my patience," Then, glowers at me as I try to act calm. I stay still not even stealing a peek at him. Composed like his threatening predatory gaze hasn't got my stomach in a whirl.
"Wear it." He demands. I ignore him, knowing that I'm standing on thin ice. "Scar –"
But before he has a chance to complete himself. I get up, partly stomping to brush of the wet soil and leaves on my jeans. Then, I walk out. It's not love, Scarlett. Why are you so emotional? I scold myself. It's because of those dumb novels, I read. I defend. Great! Blame it on your passion. My inner self mocks back.
Not love. Not love. Not love. I keep walking, not giving a damn about what he's saying or doing. My clumsy self stumbles on a rock again and I hold onto myself raising my hands as a gesture to, "I can handle myself" when he comes any closer to helping me. I steady myself. His face suddenly reminds me, of the many times it has disregarded and insulted me. Clumsy? He called me clumsy too. Vulnerable? Weakling is his favorite for me, right? He might as well nickname me that. I look up analyzing, which way to take to get back. I place my hands on my waist, contemplating the best. Why? Oh why? Am I so dreadful with directions? I take right.
"So, you're absentminded too?" He adds and my self-control snaps. I swiftly turn around to give an earful. "Didn't I –"
"Stop calling me names!" I take a deep breath, to shout again.
"I've had enough of you! Your constant judgment scale! And your bipolar mood swings!" I gasp repeatedly and continue, "I am NOT vulnerable! I do NOT find trouble! And I'm absolutely NOT absentminded!" I pass the gravest death glare, I can manage. He holds on for a minute, calculating my red seething face. Then, howls a laugh. I frown looking away and ball my tiny fists. He's making me even madder!
"You should get furious often," He grins, triggering my anger. "It suits you, kitten."
I narrow my hostile gaze. He didn't just call me that?
"Don't." I grit my teeth, as I force out the reply.
No one has the right to call me that, except my intimate relations. And he is far from that. Now, I'm assured those five stupid moments where there was something more. It was just my emotional distress.
But, when he treads closer my betrayer heart starts beating faster. I fold my arms across my chest and stare pointedly at his actions. The closer he gets, the more my urge gets stronger to run the other way. But, he stops inches short. Just one step and I'll start backing away. And when he does, I instinctively rewind my footsteps, as my arms unlock themselves and fall back to their places. He smirks, like he expected that and scans the effect he has on me. He knows, I'm nervous. Curse him. Curse myself too. Snickers proudly and steps left, signaling that was where he wanted to go. I roll my eyes. Asshat.
"This way, kitten." He bows, as he moves a bush away for me to walk.
He won't stop would he? I sigh, dejected and pace forward. But, my movements are seized when I catch sight of the lake house. Wow. Breathtaking.
No matter how many times I see this place, it still has the ability to take my breath away. I know, it's cursed and I know the hauntings that I've already dealt with. It is too much on my plate. But, you can never deny the beauty of this place. Even after the worst times, it has actually made you face. It's just so enchanting. The trance it leaves you in, it's like a spell. That's why I mouth,
"Beautiful." Without thinking it away.
"Everything is beautiful before you know it." Jackson interrupts my daze.
So, that my line of sight captures his captivating gaze. That's when I realize, how similar these two are. The house and Jack. They both are so beautiful, yet so hollow and haunted from within. They save you, only to damage you. Puts up a wall only to break it. They both are so bewitching, that you can't say no. No matter what they do. That's why, I'm held captive.
They've cast a spell on me.
"And what if you know it, and it's still beautiful?" I murmur, mesmerized.
Taking in every detail of this derogatory wizard's face. Those coffee brown circles making me drown in them. He draws a deep breath and replies in a very hypnotizing tone,
"Then, that's love. Miss Holmes."
And there goes my heartbeat.
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