"I AIN'T GOT NO SLEEP CAUSE OF Y'ALL YOU AIN'T GOT NO SLEEP CAUSE OF ME!"
I rose out of my plush bed yawning, I severely regretted all my decisions in life (eh hem Kanye North) especially the one when I thought it was a good idea setting my alarm ringtone to that iconic but noise meme and now was suffering from a throbbing head and a sore throat from screaming out my frustration of the repeated sound (rest in pieces). I rolled to the side of the bed but then realised that I had already fucked up big-time first thing in the morning. For your information, I knew I messed up because I always sleep right next to my bedside drawer and decided to become a celery stick and roll which logically being on the edge of a bed cliff rolling off is not gonna be a soft landing. *Sad violin* I fell off my bed whilst bringing the sheet with me as it wrapped around my plump physique. For some odd fricking reason, there was a mop there so to make things worse, in slow motion I fell onto the mop in a dodgy position and it looked like I just finished humping it.
With the worst timing, one of the cleaners came in and squealed in Dora, "Oh Dios, ten piedad de ese trapeador. Jesús, ella está violando es como si no hubiera mañana. Alguien arroja a esta chica a la cárcel y la deja pudrir en solo una baguette caducada al día por el resto de su puta vida obesa. Ella necesita un poco de terapia intensa basta con mirar el rollo de salchicha inflado!" With confused and wide eyes I shouted, "YOU WHAT?! THIS ISN'T WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE, OKAY?" She ran out faster than a cheetah chasing after its prey. Lordy, I wish I took Spanish seriously back in high school... On second thoughts maybe I don't wanna know what that Latino said; she had quite an aggressive tone in her voice when shouting at me (;-;").
After the incident, I freshened up by brushing my relatively straight, pearly whites, washing my ugly-ass face and brushed my tangled, hair which naturally had soft curls. I then tied my hair whilst exposing my quadruple chin which made me drop a few tears because I looked like an ogre that just tried to look down at his toes but then his neck's excess skin ripples looking like you bent your green-apple 'Laffy Taffy' loads of times. Now it was time for my outfit. I gazed at my wardrobe and instantly found my outfit for the day since I'm not picky and if I didn't have to, I would wear the same clothes for a week; that's also something not to show off about ;-;. I pulled out a caramel-brown sweater and some woolly, obsidian-black joggers (track pants/trackie bottoms depending on where you're from), some white fluffy, woolly socks and, to top it all off, I picked up some tan boots the staff put in my wardrobe. I quantum leaped (big brain) into my attire and headed out of my room for the day.
As I sniffed the sweet air, the scent attracted me and I waded over to the table waiting for my food. There a tall, lean man with his hair gelled up wearing a black cap that shaded his eyes put down a dish opposite to me and then put a separate dish next to me. I snorted as I inhaled the aroma a bit too hard and something disgusting was infecting the wonderful scent. I frowned but was also drooling. Patiently, I waited for God's arrival and fiddled with my ogre fingers. A few moments later, he walked in with this aura that was too happy for my liking. His creme gown delicately placed over his structure. And once again, my man who can legit get anything chooses to wear wooden slippers looking like hes a walking duvet at a chip shop. I glared as he stupidly but elegantly lifted the covers for the food to reveal b(r)EaKfaSt. My eyes lit up as I stared at his food: pancakes perfectly vertical with just enough maple sauce topped with a few strawberries. I guided my way to my plate. I felt stabbed. Like an absolute punk, there lay a fucking feta cheese salad that had the little chunks of meat placed strategically as a smiley face staring at me as my heart sunk like the Titanic. I knew how to solve this problem easily and put myself out of my misery. I grabbed the massive salad spoon that is used for family portions and gobbled down the gross food. I chugged down my orange juice, burped a few times and briskly walked away whilst shouting that I'd finished.
As I thought of my schedule, I realised that today was the first day of my gym sessions. SCREEEE! I've never been to a gym because I never planned to (lazy bitch.exe). I looked at myself and realised I did not look suitable for a gym session.
I sonic-dashed to my room and wore my black tracksuit. I looked like a nun without a scarf. I grabbed my light-up sketchers and water bottle. I told myself, "I think im ready."
I followed the signs on the walls to the gymnasium. I pushed the heavy doors but couldn't seem to get them to budge. Bruh was I that weak? (T-T) These grey doors were roasting me without speech. I checked if it was actually open and it should have opened half an hour ago. Confused, I decided to push harder so I went in a lunge position, shoved my shoulder on the wall and pushed with my might against the door. *CREAK* The door opened and I saw a torso stood there. Due to the pressure I was putting on the door and having no faith that it would open, I fell forwards landing on all fours with my eyes closed as I winced from a sharp pain I had gotten on my forehead. I opened my eyes to reveal a sight that I would never imagine me in...