Ooh! My head hurts, and where am I? It's not like me to pass out, especially when I was about to ask him out...mmmaybe. Huh?...is it normal to see nothing but black and not be able to feel a thing?
Because if it is then life totally screwed me over, it's like trying to go fishing in space, or even fighting a ninja in a blanket fort.
Don't most people go insane from stuff like this, I guess I really am amazing (Sounding satisfied with herself).
[Sounds of someone whistling]
What...who is that? (Sounding confused). "Hello!, if there's anyone there I coul-", (She suddenly stops herself). Oh my gosh what am I thinking, of course no one is there...I'm probably still passed out or dreaming or hallucinating or something.
[Footsteps, echoing as if she's in a hallway]
What if I was kidnapped, what if I'm about to be sold by a human trafficker. Wait wasn't I just in an ambulance, this really makes no sense.
[Footsteps and whistling sounds get closer]
Oh crap!...I'm so dead, is this really how I die. I can't believe this is how I'm gonna go, a totally sad and lonely virgin (Sounding panicked).
"Ha ha ha!, you're a funny one", (Says a voice). Well he sounds like a total jerk, I wonder if..."Oh thank goodness, please help me I don't know where I am and-" (Speaking hurriedly).
"-Stop talking", (Says the voice). I knew it...I'm so gonna tear him a new one, once I get my hands on him he's gonna need bandages for his bandages!
"Well excuse you, in case you haven't noticed I-", (She's interrupted again). "-Shh!", (The voice sounds). "Look lady if you want my help I'll give it to you but first you have to do something for me", (Said with confidence).
(Panicking once more) Dear God I know we haven't talked in a while but, I know I said that I didn't want to die a virging but this is so not what I meant. I was hoping for someone a little hotter, like Amber, I mean who wouldn't want to be with her before they die.
Oh I miss her smooth skin, almost light caramel in color with a shot of vanilla. And her hair, super long and gently flowing down to her lower back. The way her eyes look like pools of dark chocolate...
"Hey!, snap out of it", (The voice proclaims). "Well I'm sorry (Said sarcastically), but it's not like I can move or even see how much of a jerk your face is", (She replies).
Jeez why is it so hard to find a good man these days, why can't they all be like that very very special guy. Cinderella had no idea how good she had it.
"That's it!...if I hear one more word out you I'm gonna walk right out here and leave you alone for as long as [Sigh]- (Takes a deep breath) -let's start from the beginning, my name is Ma-", (The voice is cut off).
"-Screw your jerk face and your jerk voice and your jerk name, just let me the hell out of here! And another thing-".
[Fingers snap]
"-Ahh...that's better", (The voice says in relief). "So as I was saying...Louraine, I can help you out. As long as you do exactly as I say, alright?", (Chuckles).
"...", (Louraine tries to mouth out her words but no sound is heard at all). What did he just do to my voice, as if not being able to move or see wasn't bad enough. Well screw this guy!
[Fingers snap again]
He just did it again...I wonder if I can, "Ah-", (She starts, but is then cut off). "-Before you say anything to annoy me...again, let me explain a few things", (Said in a commanding tone).
Ugh!...I might as well hear this guy out, I really don't like him or his jerk face.
"First, technically you're not dead but you don't really count as alive either. Second, you can't see or feel anything because you're in a coma. And third, I don't exist. From now on you can think of me as a guide, since you'll be completely useless without me. Especially now", (The voice says with pride).
What is he even talking about. "Hey what are talking about and what do you mean I'm in a coma, and what makes you so sure I'd even want you around me an-", (Demanding answers).
"-Hold that thought, you know how they say there's light at the end of the tunnel?", (The voice asks). "Uhm...yeah why?", (Suddenly a bright light appears).
Oh my gosh what is that, I'm too young to die! This is so not fair. I didn't even get that guys name...what am I saying.
This is all his fault, if he hadn't shown up I would've been alive right now. And Amber would be by my side ready to give me a big hug.
Weirdly enough I'm starting to feel a little warm, I wonder if heaven has barbeque.
Oh no...please no, I'll be good and I'll donate to charity. Just don't let me go to hell please anything but that, (She says frantically).
Wait, it's a white light. Ha ha ha, I'll be fine I'm just gonna wake up. I hope...
[EKG machine beeping]
(Louraine is in a hospital room on one massive bed covered by a sterile white sheet with pale blue blanket. with a bedside table, comfortable chair and one more dining chairs. Decorated in restful colors. There's a cold tile floor and wide window that looks out on calming landscape. A large door that opens quietly and doesn't slam. A few oh her belongings scattered around the room. An IV pole attached to a digital monitoring system.)
(Louraine slowly opens her eyes) "Ugh...where am I now? That jerk was right, I really am in hospital but is what he has about me being in a coma true?", (She wonders)
I really don't like him (She pouts).