"DID YOU GUYS DATE?"
I am frozen after hearing that question.
"Um, what did you ask?" I nervously ask.
"She asked if you guys dated." Damien says as he looks at Christian and I being nervous.
I don't like telling lies but here we go.
"No."
"Yes."
We both say at the same time and burst out laughing.
The siblings look at us in shock and confusion.
"They are cousins." Says Damien
"We are not." Christian responds.
"But Ellie said you guys act like cousins." A confused Damien replies.
"Key word sweetie is "act", were not actually related. but don't worry! nothing can ever happen!" I reply.
"Are you saying I'm repulsive?" Christian asks.
"Yes" I reply blatantly.
We spend most of the day bantering and thinking of ways to have fun.
Christian drops me home and I can't stop thinking about what happened in the hospital.
He wanted to have sex.
is he mad that I stopped him?
Should he be mad?
I Google things I should know about sex. most of what I found are useless like.
"Sex is more than an act of pleasure, it's the ability to be able to feel so close to a person, so connected, so comfortable that it's almost breathtaking to the point you feel you can't take it. And at this moment you're a part of them." ~Thom York
The next one is even worse "The art of seduction is knowing what she really wants and slowly giving it to her in a way that takes her breath away."
this might even be the worst
"A real woman is her man's personal porn star."
The only one I relate to is "I don't have a dirty mind, I have a sexy imagination"
But I am very much inexperienced.
Then there's a particular one that moved me to my next decision, it is,
"They believe love is blind; sex is immune to reason and mocks all philosophers' authority. In reality, a person's sexual preference is the outcome and total of their core beliefs. I'll give you a person's entire philosophy of life if you tell me what they find sexually attractive. I'll tell you how much they value themselves if you show me who they sleep with. Whatever they've been taught about the value of selflessness, sex is the most deeply selfish of all acts, one that they can't execute for any reason other than their own pleasure - try performing it in the spirit of selfless compassion! - an act that is impossible to perform in self-abasement, Only in self-satisfaction, only in the assurance of being desired and deserving of it. It is an act that requires people to stand naked in spirit as much as in physically, accepting their true ego as their measure of worth. They'll always be drawn to the one who reflects their deepest vision of themselves, the one whose surrender allows them to feel - or pretend to feel - self-esteem. Love is and can only be our response to our highestÂ
I pick up my phone and dial his number.
"What's it danielle?" he asks
"I'm ready." I respond.
**
I'm sorry this chapter is short. it is being delivered at an ungodly hour. I love you all!
hey no awfully long authors note today. haha
is Danielle deviating from finding the reason for her father's death?
I say yes! what a dumb girl. sigh.