Have I been way over in my head this time around?
Is this why I've never succeeded when it came to the matters of the heart? Am I too sensitive?
Maybe I'm too hard on myself? I honestly can't tell anymore.
It's been a long time ever since I started researching about the Adelchi, and the progress has been so slow, and it's been quite infuriating.
It's been one block after another. I feel like I need to catch a 'break' in all this, I just wanted for once, for someTHING to go MY way this time.
Not just meet one impossibility after the next—!
I let out a sigh that was heavy and full of gloom.
Out of concern, Byrka sits next to me and starts to pat and rub my back.
"... So, for how long have you been at this, Khirelle?" He looks up at me with some disquiet, swirling in his eyes.
Another sigh slips past my mouth, as I go ahead and open up to Byrka, "Uhh... probably about eight months, now? It was tough to find any sort of lead. This isn't even a part of the spell yet; I'm just doing a favor for the Fates so that they could send me on my merry way and finally collect items for the spell."
My dear friend nods in agreement as he listens to me.
Furrowing his brows, he asks me in a severe tone and intense eyes, "Pardon me, Khirelle, but... are you... an idiot?"
...
WHAT?!?!" What did this bastard just ask me?! Am I an IDIOT?!
Before I could jump and place him in a chokehold, he goes, "NUH AH! Wait! Listen to me first and think. Are you sure, ABSOLUTELY sure, that you're not an idiot?"
Visible flames start to appear, raging like a torrent as it surrounds my body out of anger and extreme frustration.
And yet, despite all this, I still haven't lost my head. So I do my best to calm down... for not only his sake but for my own, too.
Before I could get to think anything else, however, he speaks to me yet again, "So if you think that way about yourself, what do you think of everyone else who hasn't even gotten anywhere past their 'research' phase for Adelchi?"
... Oh.
So that's where he was... going with that.
As soon as Byrka utters the last few words, the all-consuming flames all poof into thin air. It's like they were never there, to begin with.
"... Not much, I guess. I mean, I already expected for this to be hard—they did say it's impossible, to begin with, but I'm still not impervious to emotions, you know. I haven't even properly moved on from my ex an-" I quickly put a hand over my mouth.
Not once, have I given any thought to that cheating bastard.
And there I am, just mentioning him out of nowhere...
I stare at Byrka, face to face, feeling astounded by what I was about to say to him.
Byrka's shoulders start to shake a little as he tries to hold himself from laughing, but he quickly gives up.
He howls in laughter as he clutches to his sides, "... HAHAHA! There you go again! You rush into things while you're upset. Then when your feelings FINALLY catch up to you, you are always SO clueless as to when they finally do. It happens every single time! You look disoriented as always, Khirelle!"
It's NOT funny, okay?!
... NOT funny at all.
Who the hell laughs as their friends struggle with this shit?!
I bet it's just Byrka... or at least, whoever else is as much of an asshole as he is when it comes to this stuff.
I quickly hide my cheeks in shame with both hands, as I start to blush and pace around, which makes him chuckle even more.
Oh, m—... just how rude is this fellow?!
"Oh, gods, please help me. This lady who has more experience with violence than most men, demi-gods, and gods, is blushing like an innocent girl! It's too much! Please save me!" Byrka drops down and rolls on the grass, entirely a slave to his fits of giggles.
My mouth stretches into a thin line as I cross my arms over my waist, and I attempt to kick his sides gently.
I time it so that as he rolls closer to me, I get a playful kick in.
After taking a hit, he spreads his hands and legs openly on the grass, so he stops rolling around as he begins to lay on it. It's making him open his mouth wider as he laughs his guts out.
Hmph.
A small smile and a gentle feeling envelopes me as I feel ready to try again.
I guess I needed this. Thank you, Byrka.
"Get up, you turd! Are you going to keep laughing at me, or are you going to help me like you said you would?" I tower over him, with a confident stance and a cheerful smile, I extend my hand towards him.
...
[A couple of hours later]
The party is at full swing, and it didn't take them long at all to prepare a banquet.
The perks of being a resident of the Elysian fields, I suppose.
I've been skulking around, thinking, and looking for an opportunity. There are plenty of people gathered right now. There HAS to be something I can do! I don't want to let this opportunity go to waste.
I stop pacing around and stand in place, wondering if I should revisit a previous idea.
If they won't cry from tragic events, then what about my first idea?
I have to think of something else other than me cracking jokes, though... as it's never going to work.
I'm starting to feel stressed when I come across a small table with a group of people who seem to be laughing like crazy over something.
Curious, I get closer to see what's going on.
"I swear! This was how my daughter drew it!" A human woman exclaims, desperately trying with all her might to defend herself.
"I don't believe you! I've always known you've got no creative bone in your body!" Another demi-god mercilessly teases the poor lady.
This is really none of my business but I've no choice. I need all the help I can get!
I take a quick peek at a piece of paper that contains what seems to be a scribble of a... I have NO idea what that is, actually.
... Is... that an animal? Or is it something else entirely? I wish I could ask but I'm already getting some stares from a few people.
I'm having a hard time figuring out what the heck it is she drew there when I realize that it's... nothing like what I suspected it to be! It's not even an animal, it's a drawing of her favorite food!
Not wanting to be rude, I quickly clear my throat as softly as possible, so I don't end up laughing at seeing her... 'drawing'.
...
Hey... wait.
Then it suddenly hits me. That's IT! I have an idea!
Feeling extremely excited, I accidentally clap my hands together so loudly, that I end up inadvertently interrupting their conversation.
I grin sheepishly and apologize to them, "Oh my goodness. I'm really sorry about that! But, I'm eternally grateful to you guys! There's going to be an upcoming event soon, so watch out for it and participate, okay?!"
I leave the group of friends with confusion on their faces as I make myself scarce and scuttle off.
Now that I've got something, I leave the table with a massive smirk on my face.
I need to go and look for Byrka.
First-order on the list, is to let him in on my plan on how I can finally round up an oka of tears.