The morning was nothing but sweat on my pillow, soaked with either wet water from my hair or sweat that dripped from my forehead all the way down to the torn fingertips, blue and cracked. I felt as if I was being pushed down into the bed, that the blanket, that was thrashed around me was suffocating my neck and stomach. The sun was glaring in my eyes as the sun was slowly reaching the cracked window covers and as my hands covered my face, the fingertips caught my eye. As if the fingers were about to fall off, blue and purple, fingerprints that circled around the tip now crackled and gone as if little lightning bolts stretched around the fingers. My own lighting now imbedded by skin. I brush the tips of my fingers, as if I was experimenting with my own hands. Sitting up, I noticed the sun was hot against my skin, small slips between the curtains. When my senses finally came back, sound was spinning around my room, not complete sentences could be heard but notices of commands, actions and pure conversation roamed around my ears.
As if my bones stayed cracked and yet stable, getting up hurt more than the burnt fingertips, back cracking and my neck unhinged from a normal feeling. As I opened the door, I felt as if I had just woke up in the middle of the day, the sun hurt my skin and vision going white, adjusting to the bright light reflecting off the building and vehicles. I didn't have any tasks at hand with me, and wasn't properly dressed but I felt the need to talk to someone, maybe find something to talk about, be useful even if my brain was half burned from what ever I did to myself last night.
What I had done to myself was still mystery, and ever time I thought about it, the more it became blanker and blanker, losing the thing that caused it. Now just a picture or me feeling tense in the shower, cutting my hair off and going black. I had barley notice my hair, poorly cut and uneven, the ends skimming my slumped shoulders. I had never gone this short before, as much as it annoyed me, I enjoyed the tangled and dead hair that hung on my back. This was more of a free feeling, my neck more venerable to the air and everything around it, cold air skimming my neck and spine.
Closing the door, I decided maybe putting on pants that would fit the setting would be more appropriate. Maybe, I thought, the hair wouldn't bring eyes or maybe bring nothing but them and a few whispers between lips.
Boots stepping back onto the hot pavement to fast caused me to reach forward for balance as my legs stiffened to the impact. Only a few by standers noticed my clumsy misfortune but remained uncaring which I gladly allowed and patted my pants and grunted.
My first thought was to find someone I could actually speak to without feeling unwanted. There weren't many places to look but the big building that seemed unmissable by the size and the window mirrors. The whole thing could blind the base but I'm sure some shadows are helping though.
Walking up to the poorly set up receptionist, I gave a greeting smile while she seemed more confused than annoyed.
"I'm looking for Farley."
"Farley? Diana Farley?"
"Yes, I need to speak to her."
"Fifth floor I believe."
"Thank you" and a nod given was given to her as I walked to the elevator. I could sense her confusion growing on my skin, as if no one ever asks for General Farley.
The fifth floor looked like any floor in the building, technology scaling rooms and glass walls with offices in each one, people gathering for meetings or battles.
It wasn't until I saw the growing blonde hair of Farley talking to someone.
"Farley?"
She turned and didn't smiled which worried me, because she seemed to so happy to see me the other day, maybe it was the hair.
"Your hair!"
"I somehow knew you were going to say that." My hand rubbing against my wrist.
"Well besides the lopsided angles, it fits you."
She touched the hair and then my shoulder like a child, almost comforting an awful decision.
"Was it impulsive?"
"Everything is impulsive at the moment."
She smiled but it unexpectedly faded, seeing her eyes move from the present to the past. She grabbed my arms slightly rough and pulled me slowly to the corner of her office.
"Is everything alright?"
She let go of my arm and kept looking towards the elevators. "It was a surprise at first to me honestly, but no ones been given any information about it."
"Information about what?"
"Um, the Crown Committee closer to Archeon has been talking about suppressing the Lakelands further North, to gain some territory they've lost."
"But, were busy, Norta's busy with the countries itself."
"Yes and that our job, the Guards job to establish the foundation but the Crown is in favor of ruling still and many are still following the bloody monarchy."
"So, what does that have to do with anything."
"He's here Mare, he's here to negotiate a plan of attack, to gain land for the Guard as well as the Crown, less reds and silvers fighting in the muds with over crowed cities and more forest to turn into land for the people."
"Who's here?"
"You know Mare."
I did know, and my lips stayed beneath my teeth as I bite down on them. It was perfect timing for the electricity to be felt in the sky, not only the noise of the helicopter surged through everyone's ears but the force of electricity tingled my fingertips. I could feel Farley's hand grip my wrist but I manage to escape her. I took the stairs rather than the elevator and managed to get outside right before the helicopter dropped. I wanted to be the first person he saw and as much as that bothered me, something deep down either wanted to tear the helicopter apart with him inside it or wait to he gets off so I could hug him, molding into his chest, his warm chest. Farley was able to get there and stood right beside me. She stood like a mother would when waiting for the man to greet her daughter, but I could hold my ground, my emotions had already burned my hands so he had nothing to worry about.
I was expecting him to come out with a crown and maybe a cape if he wanted, but that image was only merged with Maven, someone who died in my heart a long time ago, but Cal wasn't dead, he was nearly a forgotten soul.
What came out first was a few soldiers and then a girl, maybe the same age as me. She had sunglasses that seemed too small for actual use of draining the sun from her eyes. Then came Cal, who smile seemed too glee for the fact he was stepping back onto a base full of soldiers that don't find monarchy pleasant. He wore normal clothes, so much so that if you didn't know him for his name, he would look like a nobody to you. He called for the girl and she reached her hand to his, holding each other dearly, palm in palm. The sight almost made me sick, as if the green eyed monster was clawing at my stomach. She seemed to sweet for me to visibly hate right away, so I turned my eye to his, hoping he could feel the electricity I was trying to give off.
I thought he had looked straight at me, and I could see his smile fade for a second. But return when the girl pulled harder on his wrist to the cabins.
Then someone I thought I would never see again came stepping out, a man with a robe like outfit draped around him and a walk so diligent it was intimidating. It was Julien, who eye caught mine right away and I could do nothing but smile. He on the other hand only seemed concerned to see me there. It was a bad feeling but he walked to me.
"Julien?" I don't know why I asked him a question.
"Yes it is me Mare."
"Yea, well I know its you I just wasn't expecting you."
"I wasn't expecting you here, as I remember, we're the one with the scheduled invitation."
"Who is we?"
"Well, I assume you know Cals here, I could sense you know that, and a few people from Pidemont and Norta to help along the progress."
"Whos the girl?"
His smug smile was a tad annoying, knowing already it was a something I had notice immediately and the first thing to cause me to scream inside like a child.
"Her name is Caroline June Briggs, people call her CJ, Cal calls her CJ."
"Are they together?"
"Yes, they've been dating for half a year now, met in Piedmont, that's were she's from."
"Is she a silver?"
"No, Newblood, a Frost, like a shiver, but more powerful, snow storms, ice, more weather than ice manipulation."
I stayed quiet, examining her movement, her bouncy yet elegant stance, jumping around Cal but for being so tall, looked more like a cat than a mouse. Maybe I was the mouse.
"She's really kind and smart Mare, I wouldn't dismiss her especially if it were more to get back at Cal."
"I wouldn't do such a thing."
"Is that right, then might as well bring them over."
I gave him a stern look as he called out Cal's name, wanting him to come over.
"Cal, Caroline."
Both smiled and Cal, nodding a little.
"This is Mare, Caroline." Julien said.
"Hi, its nice to meet you, I've heard of you, I mean everyone's heard of you but um, I really grateful for your forwardness when it came to the Scarlet Guard."
As much as I hated the fact she was being so darn nice in her sweet Southern accent, I remained polite and as fake as possible.
"Thank you."
She had a small thin body but stood taller than me but a few inches smaller than Cal. Eyes like a doe or a doll, deep brown and thin eyebrows that arched downward. Her hair was short, like a bob but most of it was swept to one side of her face, making her look child like and pretty. Not beautiful, not sexy, but very, very pretty. A small nose, thin bleak lips and small light freckles. Her arms were abnormally long with slender boney hands that looked liked they had never dug through dirt in her life. A lazy green shirt hung off her shoulder and black baggy pants that hung loose on her stomach were Cals hand rest, side hugging her, almost mocking me. I was well aware that my jealousy was rising to my cheeks and some how, CJ noticed the glare towards Cal's hand and decided to slide herself out of his weak grip.
"I hope we use you in our," she puts up air quotation marks, "Plan."
Cal quickly puts her hands down as if I wasn't supposed to now that or even here about it. Maybe they don't know what Farley already told me. Or it was something else.
"Its not really a plan, more of a expedition." Cal says, a nervous flicker in his voice.
Julien was watching all of it, and sometimes I wish he would just tell me what he was thinking. Force him to blurt it out.
"Its nice seeing you Mare."
His words sound genuine so it scares me for a second, and seems to surprise CJ as well. She looks up to him and then back to me. She couldn't have been oblivious to our relationship, it was kept in whispers and live television. Cal kept his eyes on mine and I felt my throat fill with sorrow that my words come out too fast.
"You as well."
He only takes CJ's shoulder and turns away, CJ turns her head back and smiles, but not the one you do to say goodbye, but the one that says, "I'm sorry."
I decide to watch him, with his slender, annoying nice girlfriend walk away for too long that I can feel the salty tears develop on the bottom on my eyes. I barely notice Julien until he touches my shoulder. The tears somehow turn into red cheeks and I feel embarrass to be getting so angry in front of him over his nephew.
"Mare?"
"I'm fine Julien, its his lost honestly."
"I understand-"
"If anything, I'm here to make sure he doesn't fuck up Norta.