The wind smelled sharp as it went past my cheeks, the night crisp and cold. Rubbing my shoulders to keep me warm as I thread at the back of the house, the bushes and branches giving company along with the serene silence.
"I thought I might find you here." bumping against a tree meeting baby blue eyes and a gentle smile as she tucked a strand of hair under her ear.
"Lily dear, it's cold out why don't you come back inside?" shaking my head and rubbing the sides of my cheeks, Stella immediately bracing me for a hug rubbing my back as quiet sobs left my lips.
"I don't understand how he could be like that, I'm sorry for earlier Stella. It was supposed to be a peaceful dinner and all." she shook her head cupping my cheeks, wiping stray tears away. Spending the silence with Stella telling her what happened, how everything ended up like this right now.
"I don't understand, I love him not Ezra. How can he be so petty like that." hearing a sigh leave Stella's lips as she let my shoulder rest against hers.
"Maybe it's because he loves you so much, I've never seen Elliot like that before." she trailed. "We do the stupidest things out of love, we fight, we argue, we become selfish, we become selfless, and yet we love." looking up at her wrapping my arms around her waist hugging her back, thought wandering back to that fight about Ezra back home.
"Men can get complicated too you know Lily, they get jealous, they get depressed, they love and lose too. But they're still men a bit childish still men, they make mistakes as well."
The soft lights caressing the walls as I lean against the rails, eyes puffy and red from constant sobbing. Thinking about what he's doing right now, the crisp cold wind slapping against my skin making me shudder. It's been a week since I last saw him, letting clatters of keyboards clicking and fax machines drown out.
"Hey, Lily. These were left at the reception." Finn came in holding a bunch of flowers, leaving them down on my table as I wait for the faxes to finish.
"I'll ask someone to get a vase," he muttered leaning against the door frame, lifting an eyebrow at him as he gawked. "Do you want to take the afternoon off?" shaking my head at him as I plop down on the couch as well, the flowers now in a vase next to the windows. The same old clicking of keyboards and buzzing fax machines seem distant, the door creaking open my head snapping seeing another person from graphics with the new covers.
"You were expecting someone else?" Finn whispered walking over to review the print, and here I thought I wouldn't think of you, that I wouldn't have my heart beat for you right now, that I want to see you. The past few weeks reaching to an itch looking for you, your smile in the morning, the freckles I love to touch, how peaceful you are sleeping in the morning, the way you roll your sleeves, and simply how I want to have you near. The back of my head hurting just thinking about you, my heart ever so stuttering, thumping wildly in it's cage, how you make the butterflies in my stomach wake up and flutter around.
"I'll be back, hold the phones down till then Finn." sprinting out the door and clashing with the cold pavements, the string of people bustling their way reaching to the place they are heading. The crisp air breaking through my skin it's sharp smell lingering under my nose, the familiar sounds of fax machines, heels clicking on marble floors, and eyes boring into the back of my head. Those green orbs that I haven't seen in a week's time, the freckles resting on your cheeks, how you would focus on your work. It might be selfish, it might be self-centered, but right now I want this raging heart to beat only for you.
As your eyes meet mine, heart beating loudly in the silence and breath hitching from running. Sweat trickling from my forehead while my lips curving to a smile, it may be the rush of feeling from the my loss of you, it may have been the distance we kept, it may have been the way you hair was all ruffled, the way you sleeves were rolled up to your elbows, or was it just the tight feeling in my chest that longed only for you. Eli's lips were smooth and rough, your fingers tangling with mine as our foreheads pressed together. The soft bitter smile on your lips as you let out a hearty laugh, calloused fingers patting my cheeks as I hold onto your arms.
"Lily," he whispered breathing still rigid cheeks flushed "I know, it was a dick move for setting off on you on my inferiority complex with Ezra." hushing him placing a finger on his lips, watching as his eyes close when I reach to rub his freckled cheek.
"You don't need to explain anything to me," I softly said. "I love you not Ezra, you should know that. Besides, I don't think I can stay away from you for that long Eli." the sound of your hearty laugh as your fingers brush through my hair, the cloud like feel of your lips on mine, and in the middle of things it all seemed perfectly all right.