So Colonel was trying to rationalize me into killing my other self with his so-called "Perks". As we walk down our way into a home subdivision where his other "dead" self was recently living which was, according to him, the greatest perks of all: you got a free house. We stepped inside, not even bothering to ring the bell to alert the house or whatever because he told me that he observed his other self right after he found out that he was in a different world.
I really wanted to ask him about his true life but I thought it would be too personal and I never wanted to invade any private space. I even made written permissions to my photo subjects before I capture them back when I was in the field. 'Yep, I am that well-mannered.' I thought, but also because if the subjects did not want a picture of them taken then I wouldn't have to and that was less work for me.
Unless, of course, my partner force me to. Only if her sweet voice could be called a "force". The thought of her made me nervous because 'I do not want to assume here but' she could be waiting for me this morning but I never showed up. I've been feeling very weird towards her lately, too.
An overthinker that I am, I also thought that she would be happy that I was missing so she could find or ask a better partner. I frowned the thought in. I have no rights to complain after all.
"You okay there?" Colonel asked when I came out of the bathroom. My thoughts must be really visible on my face. I nodded at him and turned back to make myself a pan-fried toast.
"Thinking of the other side, don't ya?" I did not look back and focused on what I was doing. I heard him sigh on his place and silence filled the air for a minute. "I miss them, too." I stopped and I had the urge to glance back but I fought it. I placed another set of buttered bread on the pan and continued frying.
"Specially, my wife. I've been away for too long now." I got curious if he was referring to him being in this place or something else. He was right. I was feeling empty and suddenly, I miss everything. This place never felt like home.
I felt tears swelling up on my eyelids that I quickly swipe and bit my lips to stop my tears. I was never a crybaby. I was used to being alone but this was very different.
I felt too far from where I was supposed to be and the thought that there was no road that could lead me back kept breaking my heart.
"Does your wife live here?" I asked with all the itch on my throat. I picked up the plate with four buttered toast and sat down near him. He smiled at the toasts which was also one of the perks he mentioned on the way here: Free food or at least, the money for food. I doubt my other self could offer me these perks. He even has to go to a hospital and get his legs fixed. I hope he has got the money.
"No, I don't think so." I picked one of the hot bread and ate one while looking at him. "I tried finding her but she wasn't in her home or her parent's. Also not in her office job."
"So your other self wasn't married?" There goes me stating the obvious. I just had to ask because this house was too big for a single man.
"No, he was not. He was a businessman of some-sort. Hence, the fancy house." He pointed around. "It seemed like our other self chose a different path in life here. Although, It was not very far from ours, too."
I got confused there for a second and I was sure he noticed that. "What I mean was, being a businessman ran in my blood. My parents were business tycoons in our world. I, myself, was given a choice to be a businessman, too, but I refused the offer."
"So, you mean that our other selves here were given the same choices we also had in our world." I saw him nod before crunching on his toast.
I couldn't remember any decisions I made that could impact my life this huge. I mean, I used to believe that I never had the choice but to work with what I have. Maybe, that was why my other self was a photographer too.
"They could take routes that was either the same path as we took or a different one but was still offered to us, as well." That was pretty clear. So what was the path Colonel took? I only nodded to hide my thoughts.
"This place was ran through monarchy." I almost forgotten about that. The coronation and the foul smelling sweat of fanatics and all that Hail the King chants came rushing back to me. I wanted to vomit. "It was royal bloodline of the same name. The next man will inherit the throne and carry the name."
That was why they shout 'Hail the King!' instead of "Hail the new King!'. That was smart of me to notice. Urgh.
"Names." I asked. This was in my mind since this morning. Do I have to live as John, now?
"Yes, you cannot use yours or your head will be messed up." I knew it but it was nice to be confirmed. Then Colonel was not his real name, huh? It must be a title he was accustomed to. Now, this opened so many path of thoughts.
"You're suspicious of me, don't you?" I felt my face flush before I heard him laugh "You are one very easy to read person." he said before he laughing some more. This made me all defensive but he shrugged me away.
"I was a soldier in our world." He stared at the space far away. That did not give me comfort. He could beat the living hell out of me and I, personally, saw that and almost felt that earlier. I was not going at this guy's bad side if I want to live.
"I was planning to retire and live with my wife. I saved enough money for us to both go on an early retirement and live our lives in our new home at the country." That pinched something in my chest. The feeling of sympathy shrouded my body and I want to fist his shoulder because I just thought that was how they do it in military.
"Don't be sorry for me, John. You left something or someone behind, too." he said walking into the fridge. I saw him take out a can of beverage and opened it. "Want some beer?"
"I'll pass." Like I always do. I hate the smell of beer when it was right under my nose. "Your other self. Did he try killing you, too?"
"No." He plainly said. My thoughts raced for a second and my heart started pounding. Did he kill him all by himself on his own accord!? "How should I say this."
I only stared at him, focusing on his mouth. His answer would change everything. I owe Colonel my life but sharing the same roof with a natural murderer was a different thing.
"I think it was a law of alternate realities." He felt my anxiety and I felt him being careful with his words, too.
"Just like your other self, earlier," he said looking straight back at me. "If one gets close enough with the other, one will have the sudden urge to kill."
Oh, cool.