{This story will now be mostly in Aspens P.O.V}
I'm going to die single, I thought to myslef as I watched as the two main characters of a drama kiss and profess their love to each other. I'm going to die old and alone with a bunch of fur babies that I'm allergic to.
Why can't my life be as interesting as all the dramas that I've watched? I mean why couldn't I be the main character of my own life? That's a bit unfair isn't it?
"Aspen come down stairs!" I heard my mother call me from the staircase.
"Coming!" I yelled back getting up from my bed and opening my bedroom door to exit the room.
"Taste this." My mother said when I reached the kitchen pointing to the pot of food that she had made.
I sighed "Is that all you wanted?" I asked her taking out a spoon from the cutlery cupboard and dipping the spoon into the curry to taste. I nodded to her, "pretty good."
"Okay go tell your sisters that food is ready."
I walked to the staircase and yelled to them that food was ready.
That's what most of my days consisted of, me getting called down to try my mothers food and tell my three siblings to come down for food. It wasn't very exciting.
My ten year old sister Elle came down first followed by her dog, then my nine year old sister Crystal came down.
"Where's Azalea?" Mom asked.
"I think she went to her boyfriends house or something." I replied unsure of where she was. It was like this most of the time now. She barely hung around the house anymore because she and our step dad didn't get along. She just couldn't stand him at all.
" You have to tell her that she should..." By now I had stopped listening to what my mother was telling me to do. It was the same thing over and over again, tell her to stop fighting with him so much and that she was old enough now to understand her actions to what she was doing etc..
I've gotten used to my mother telling me to talk to my older sister about her actions and what she should and shouldn't do. She is of age now isn't she? I mean she's already nineteen.. what more could I tell her?
Everything just seemed to revolve around her, and if I were to be honest sometimes it does bother me but at the end of the day she is my sister. She's taken care of me and we were close. I turn to her when I need to talk about something . I just couldn't be mad at her.
Some part of me still wonders did I trade my happiness for this place when I was younger? I just couldn't help but think I did. I was definitely more happy over at my home country than I ever was here... There's just too much family drama to dish out and I really couldn't take it.
Why did I need to be the one that the grown ups vent to? Did I need to be the messenger as well? Why did I need to end up in the middle of family drama that I wanted no part in?
I hated it. I mean we had a roof over our heads and food on the table and I'm so grateful for that but I just couldn't find myself being happy. Why am I not happy. That thought confused me even more. I just needed to be happy, that was all right?
I finally realised that sometime during my thought rant I had finished my food. My two younger sisters and mother had already left the table sometime during my inner rant. It was always like this, I was a slow eater and an inner ranter I mean who else could I fully rant to but myself?
I began to put my plate and cup into the dish washer and cleaned the table. After I finished I headed back to my room. Back to the place of solitude.
~~~~~~~~ Monday~~~~~~~~~~
School, the only place I could get away from the place I called home. I was an average student who could get away with a C and B without studying for the test at all and to say I studied for a test would be a lie. I haven't studied since I started second level education.
This year was going to be different, I was going to study for the majority of my tests just to be productive. I needed a routine. Something to make my life have meaning again.
I got off the bus and headed for the building most people called hell. Once inside I headed for the hall where my year was supposed to go to get their timetable and find their new base class.
Going to an all girl school is honestly not that bad besides the fact that it's one of the reason I don't have a boyfriend yet and probably won't ever get one for a very long time but I could probably live with that, for now.
After the meeting was finished we headed for our first class. Mine just happened to be art. Luckily I had my sketchbook at hand twenty four seven.
I picked a random seat and sat on it not caring where I was going to sit at all because why should I it's not like I had friends or anything like that. Art was just a time for me to think about how suckish my life was and draw.
The day wasn't very interesting at all. Mostly just consisted of me getting a ton of homework to do. Fifth year was going to be amazing, note my sarasm.
After a long day of school I was finally home. God will my life just be a continuous cycle of me being unmotivated and doing things for others? I shouldn't complain. I am better off than most people in the world so I can't complain. This is just a setback. Someday I'll be happy. It's just not today or anytime soon.