Chapter 12
🎶▶️ The K2 OST - Witching Hour
A friend..What is a friend?
A person who can change you either for better or worse? either they will be the point of stability in your life or the point of refraction, either they make you more open to others or more closed?
I don't know because I never had one, at least I know that aside from my mother, none of them was a friend.
This is what I learned over time, starting from my entire childhood.
In the beginning, I thought that my father's family behavior towards me and their inferior view of me was normal, them and the rest of the people, until I began to notice their different behavior with my brothers and the rest of the kids..until I heard their conversation secretly behind closed doors..
"An illegitimate daughter, what a disgrace to the family's honor."
Illegitimate daughter.. a love child..
Perhaps that is why those words doesn't affect me anymore, because they called me that a lot that I became used to it.
The house where I lived with my mother was the only place I could breathe comfortably, every other place was stifling, especially at school; Each day was a battle to resist all that bullying and all those hurtful and cynical words. They used to call me a polluted and dirty girl because of that, I don't think they really understood its meaning, nor did I, they just followed the actions of their mothers and fathers and the view of society.
How did they know? Well..I had three brothers from my father and his wife; The oldest of them was at university and the other two, one of them in my age and the other was two years older than us.
Apparently my stepmother was talking about my mother and me all the time, sowing her hatred in her children and spreading her poison into their hearts, which made them hate me as well, and therefore they were telling all the children what their mother was telling them and the rest of the kids were following the bandwagon.
My father knew that his second family didn't accept us, so he always tried not to let that affect us, he used to buy me the most luxurious beautiful clothes, the best stationery and the best gifts. Everyone who saw me in school knew that I'm Kim Sehun's daughter and that what prevented them from bullying me physically.
The things that I owned were making the other kids feeling jealous and envy, and sometimes they wooed to me just to buy them what they want and once I do, they get back to throwing hate at me and talk dirty about me.
I was feeling so down that on my 12th birthday when my father asked me if I wanted something on this occasion, and I remember that so clearly, I answered:
"A friend. I want to buy a friend."
I was genuinely serious about my answer and so excited, believing that people like us are able to buy everything.
His facial expressions changed immediately then became pale and surprised, and there was no need to tell him what was going on at school because he understood everything then. The next day I found myself in a new school faraway from my brothers.
At the new school, I was able to cope with some of my classmates and go out for lunch together at the break. It wasn't a prestigious and well-known school as the previous one - where only high class students were admitted - but with a good reputation frequented by students of all social classes.
At some point I found myself among a group of narcissistic girls, I don't know how I ended up with them, but I know that I didn't feel comfortable, not even for a moment. All their talk was about the clothes of others, how they dress horribly and how their own clothes were from a well-known brand, and how one of their house was large enough to have more than one swimming pools.
I started making excuses so I wouldn't go with them and kept eating my lunch in the garden behind the school, and that was when I got to know Hae-won.
She was the first person that I felt the bond of friendship with, we clicked together pretty well and the place behind the school became our meeting point, we were both introverted and that was the first time I really felt at ease and that I had a friend who I belong to and belongs to me.
I stopped walking with those girls and kept hanging out with Hae-won, at that they started talking behind my back and spreading various rumors. One of the girls, her mother was a friend of my father's wife, so them knowing about me was only a matter of time.
It returned as it was in my old school and bullies and bad talk returned even more stronger. Hae-won's colleagues were even trying to push her not to meet me but she didn't listen to them. This made us a goal for everyone who wanted to become popular in school and to gain attention, yet she stayed with me.
Until that cursed accident..until those dark blue eyes showed up..
Things started to take another turn, a darker and more harsh one.
Soon after the accident happened I went back to school, everyone was looking at me with disgust. One of them nicknamed me a monster and everyone started to call me that, bullying increased and everyone turned against me.
This wasn't going just at school, even the house I moved in to, my other father's house with his wife and my brothers, it was a living hell.
my stepmother was nice and friendly with me in front of my dad and as soon as he gets out, she takes off her mask and stops acting. She always reminded me of my mother's accident and how bad I was of a daughter and that I had to die along with her, whenever she mentioned my mother she called her a slut, looking for the slightest reason to scold me, telling Min Yoo off constantly for accompanying me most of the time.
But she is right, she and everyone else in my school, I am a monster.
I deserve everything that was said about me and that fact will continue to haunt me throughout my life. Even my father, I felt that there was a small part inside of him, hated me for what I did.
Since everyone around me already hated me and looked at me as a monster, I decided to become one to those who saw me that way.
For Hae-won, I stopped talking to her, I didn't want her to befriend someone like me and when she tried to talk me I pushed her away and then she didn't talk to me at all. I was saddened by the fact that this was all it took for our friendship to end, deep down I wanted her to hold onto me.
The worst thing that you would do to a person is to stop trying with them, to give up on them easily, to not give them a hand to hold into.
To not give them another chance.
I know this because they never gave me one, they judged me from the right beginning without me even knowing what my fault is and casted me out.
Those are my scars and my deepest I kept them hidden so well that even I sometimes would believe the face I put on every morning.
And since I know the cold disgusted look given by a stranger who doesn't know anything about you, I smiled for those who didn't know me or anything about me, in the end, they were mere strangers.
I isolated myself and centered all my focus on my studies and self-development in many ways; studied business early on, learned development and design languages, went into self-defense lessons, exercised a lot and found dancing as a way of mental distraction. I graduated from high school and started working at my father's company. At the same time, I was attending university as well, and after two years I was chosen to take over the presidency of one of our company branches.
In the end, I learned that money really does buy friends, but not the kind of friends you hope for.
Friends of money were exactly like money, temporary.
I thought that that was it, and that I would continue like this for the rest of my life. I have had enough of the fake, two-faced people around me, and I thought I had completely given up my desire to form relationships, of any kind, especially after my relationship with Jin Young.
Then Jennie came along.
She was the person who ignited that hope in me again..While all I wanted in the beginning was to help her, I was gradually becoming a victim of those cat's eyes if hers.
Because she was true to her feelings.
All of those I met had their fawning smile always printed on their face, all of them were hiding their negative feelings and hatred towards me only because I was Kim Sehun's daughter, only because I have money.
Jennie on the other hand, despite her urgent need for money, despite her bad situation, none of her facial expressions, nor of her personality changed and her opinion was clear about me. Her eyes told me everything, I was feeling like she knew beforehand that this whole calmness that I am, was just a big wall to protect me.
I was feeling like she was looking through me, feeling exposed. She never flattered me, and when she got angry, annoyed or displeased, she showed it openly. Always challenging me, always opposing me and getting on my nerves.
She is true to her feelings,
Very transparent.
And I hated this, why is she looking at me like that? She doesn't even know anything about me? What does she not like about me?
'What should I do to make her like me?'
Without my awareness I became thinking like that, and perhaps this's what made me feel so pathetic, that I was the only one thinking like that and on my own I decided that we became closer somehow as days passed by.
I knew I was deceiving myself the moment I found out that she was lying to me.
That's why I was angry, angry to the point of drowning..to the point of blindness. All I was thinking of then was to keep them out of my sight so that I wouldn't face reality.
The reality that knocked me out of my senses, and what it made me realize..
My greatest anger was not because she pretended to be mute, nor because she tried to steal me, as soon as she spoke about herself, I knew that she would never hurt me.
My greatest anger was about the absurdity of my thinking, my stupidity, and my fragility. I got angry because I realized how desperate I was..I got angry because it made me realize how lonely I was all these years.
And when she broke down in front of me, I couldn't ignore it. I saw myself in her, the weak forsaken girl who hadn't seen even one hand stretched out to her, I saw her pain and how similar it was to mine.
I saw her truth and what Jennie really is.
I hated how much she made me feel closer to myself, I hated how much that was giving me comfort.
I hated how I felt so lighthearted whenever I'm with her..
And her letter made it worse,
Jennie.. is not a bad person, the world is.
🎶⏸
.. . . . . . . . .
"Min Yoo!" Jisoo calls out loudly as she descends from the top floor.
-"Yes ma'am."
"Where are the maids? Did they see Jennie leave? when did she left?" She asks rapidly.
"Jisoo!" A voice from behind her cuts in and she turns around and sees Lisa standing at the stares.
"An hour and a half ago since you came back," Lisa says in a hurried tone. "an hour and a half has passed since she left!"
As soon as she hears that, Jisoo rushes back up to her room and quickly changes her formal clothes to jeans and white t-shirts with a black jacket and trainers. She strides quickly to her office to take the keys of her car and heads to the first floor.
"Min Yoo, quickly get in a car, go to the port and check all the ships that are leaving. Quickly!" She orders him before she gets out from the mansion.
Jisoo goes out to the parking lot and heads to her car, gets in and activates the (GPS) and sets its destination for Jeju Island Airport as she runs the engine.
She passes the front gate of the mansion, and Min Yoo follows her on his way to the marina.
The darkness of the night and its overwhelming calm was broken by the sound of the engine of the car as it tried to keep pace with the winds, Jisoo was driving at her fastest speed, praying that she's not late.
'Jennie, if you were broken before, I've been too.
If you feel that you are alone, I have felt that my whole life, not finding in those around you even one person to confide in, not even one to hold in your arms, I felt that too..
I also wanted to leave everything behind, to go away without leaving a trace, but no..not after that I met you.
Because we met for a reason, and I live for the little things, the little details and the reasons.
So please, just wait a little more, I'll get to you... just a little bit more.'
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Jisoo arrives at the airport and pulls up, gets out if the car and dashes inside as she looks around. She looks at the wide screen that shows the arrival and departure times of the airlines; all departing aircraft had take-off time at 8:00 pm, except for the plane to Seoul, Bangkok-Thailand and other foreign countries. thirty minutes remains for the Bangkok plane to take off while the Seoul plane takes off at twelve o'clock.
She is not quite sure, but she estimates that it is impossible for Jennie to go to Bangkok because probably she doesn't have knowledge of its language and the same thing for the rest of the foreign countries, so there is only one possibility left, which is Seoul plane.
She starts running around the airport and searching, in hope that she might find her, but ends up with nothing, especially that the airport at night is not crowded and you can distinguish passers-by easily. She takes out her phone and calls Min Yoo.
"Min Yoo! Did you arrive at the port? Is she there?"
- "I have arrived, but no, she isn't. All the ships are still here, I asked one of the captains and they said they couldn't sail today because the weather is not stable and the tide is high."
"Good. Nevertheless, We still don't know what will happen so stay there. If anything happens, tell me immediately!"
She hangs up and goes back to stand at the gate leading to Seoul with her eyes wandering on the other gates. Since she arrived, she never sat and her eyes were constantly examining people's faces.
"Jennie..where are you now? where did you go?" She mumbles to herself helplessly.
Is there another way to go out of Jeju that she doesn't know? Is she late?
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12:00 o'clock, the plane is about to take off, the airport is almost empty, and the air is getting cold.
Jisoo is still standing at the gate, her lips turned dark red from the cold. No contact from Min Yoo and there's still no sight of Jennie.
the plane took off and Jisoo started to lose hope, there is no reason to stay at the airport any longer.
As soon as she felt that it is over, and it's too late, that she couldn't make it, a heavy feeling came down to her chest, making her take her breath with difficulty. A coldness stronger than the cold air surrounds her, filling her body. Her heart hurts and her eyes are starting to burn slightly.
She has no reason to stay in this place and at the same time she doesn't want to return to the mansion. She can't tolerate the mansion's dreariness now, and just like that the world become dull.
What a frustrating feeling.
She goes out of the airport and stands beside her car, doesn't know where to go and what to do. She leans against the car door, stares into a void, feeling the knot at her throat has grown more. She calls Min Yoo and tells him that there is no need for him to stay there any longer and to return to the mansion, to then she hangs up and returns to her own world.
She needs something to relief the pain in her chest, a medicine to make the headache go away.
She needs Jennie.
Anything..anything related to Jennie will help, something to remind her of her. It doesn't have to be Jennie herself, her sharp mad look is enough, her hair tie is enough..a picture of her is enough..
Oh right..she doesn't even have a picture of her.
Their time was so little for her to dwell on it and yet..
'That letter..'
Jisoo moves away from the door, turns around, and opens it when a sudden realization strucks her mind and remembers then something Lisa said to her previously, when she questioned her.
**
"We came from the village that is surrounded by the woods at the end, as well as Jennie."
**
"The woods.. " she mutters as she furrows in realization, "when I first saw them, they were in the hall that opens onto the back garden, which leads to the woods! So the village must be located on the other side then." She finishes as she gets in the car hurriedly.
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Jisoo arrives at the place, parks her car on the side of the street, locks it and heads towards the village. The street lights starts to disappear little by little as she approaches the village, replaced by the darkness of the night, reduced a little by the moonlight.
She arrives into the village and walks around with her eyes looking for someone to show her her destination, with the help of her phone flashlight.
She isn't thinking that she might find Jennie here, she's just hoping to find something related to Jennie, to know about her more, would be even better if she found her house.
She walked a distance inside the village and there's still no one. That's when she notices a small booth that is a distance away, on its hood a small light hanging, that turnes off and on constantly.
She approaches it and finds an old man who looks so old that she barely thinks he's alive. Doesn't think that she will benefit anything if she asked him about her, but she has no other choice.
"Hmm, excuse me, Ajusshi? Can you hear me?"
He turns to her with an angry look on his face and scolds her, "Of course I can hear you! Do you see me deaf or what? Just because I'm old!"
- "Oh, apologize!" she says bowing awkwardly. "That's not what I meant-"
"What does a girl like you do here at this time of night?" He digresses suddenly making her stare at him for a second.
- "I'm looking for a house that was inhabited by a girl called Jennie.. Jennie Ruby Jane Kim."
"Jennie Ruby Jane Kim.." he repeats her name slowly as if he is thinking and falls silent for a while, "No. I don't remember a person with that name."
-"Are you sure?"
"What? Do you mean that I'm lying to you?" He grumbles.
- "Oh no..not at all. Sorry and Thank you for your help." She dismisses quickly, bows to him and completes her path.
As soon as she moves away, the old man calls her from behind.
"Hey! girl! Are you still here?"
Jisoo speeds back to him, wearing hopeful expression.
"Ruby Jane.. I remember this name, that drunkard around the clock used to say it a lot. I remembered it now because he still ows me money."
The old man shows her the location of the house, as it was near the woods. She Thanks him and goes according to his directions, using the flashlight of her phone.
She finds an old shappy one-storey wooden house. Its door is broken, and it looks like as if someone had broken it forcefully.
'Is this Jennie's house?'
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To be continued
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