Ｂｒｙｓｏｎ once again led her to wherever their destination are— he's not saying anything or at least giving her a clue as to why he chose to bring her into the depths of this uncivilized and dangerously quiet terrain. She just only let the guy do whatever it is that would satisfy him.
After she calmed down because of the sudden appearance of her panic attack earlier, they stayed on the same position for like 5 minutes or so, even though she mouthed her reply to his question, Bryson was still somewhat rigid and reluctant of bringing her and continuing their trip to his plan spot.
The sentient and concerned he show to her was exceptionally something that warms her heart to such extent that, it unbelievably negated her unpleasant memories and miserable feelings, for the first time like no one had ever done before.
Some tried their luck— gave her advices, therapy sessions, consultations and even anti-depressant drugs which became useless at the end. It only heightened the turmoil in her head. They gave her the time to adjust, leave her alone as every methods, encouraging words, tests and even compensations— everything didn't worked. Maybe she doesn't really need those ineffectual stuff as the only thing that could really help her and resolved the aberrant problem is herself.
After all, Daisy is the one on the receiving end. So, why not let her finish something that someone had caused but, she was the one that started.
Being in the confinement of her room— alone, lifeless, defeated and disoriented. With her mind not in the right place and a sense of self-awareness that was nowhere to be found, everything just fell into the remains of broken abyss. It didn't saved her, it only made her even more scarred and rend with no any means of recuperating and fixing up.
No one had tried again. Until he came, Bryson. The only person that stay with her despite being clueless of what had happened to her in the past that haunted her down up until now which trigger her anxiety from time to time just like a while ago.
'Just tell me if you really want to go home okay? I'm happy that you agreed on staying and going with me even though I hadn't really told you where I'll be taking you but, I don't want you to endure everything by yourself just because you wanted to make me happy by tagging along. You'll always be my top priority so, just sign the word okay?' Bryson said in a husky tone of his deep voice.
Daisy just listened and follow the trails of his huge footprints. Looking down on their intertwined fingers and keeping her body close to his back that give her a warm and comfy feeling because of the emitting body heat.
True to his words, Daisy does really feel uneasy and scared of the place but, she wanted to fight back the feelings and for once be brave and face one of the greatest hindrance in her life.
15 minutes had passed and they're still padding the rough ground, her foot began to throbbed and get cramped, this is really the exact same thing she always did from going to work and back to her home, except it was been like 3 weeks since the last time she exerted her energy for the simple exercise because of Bryson's insistent of picking her up everyday.
Daisy didn't complain though and just keep up to Bryson's long and fast strides compare to her small and slower one— rather, she's being dragged like a rag doll.
'Are you okay? We're almost there. Do you want me to carry you on my back?' Bryson stopped walking and face her. Concern is itching on his face, looking down on her and keeping her body close to him by pulling her on the waist.
The second time they stopped meandering and Daisy doesn't have an idea how long would it take for them to arrive at their destination. Of course, she is panting slightly from employing her little stamina but, chose not to voice it out, instead, she just shook her head and signed her answer.
'I'm fine. You don't have to carry me.'
Bryson bit down his lip and squeezed her waist before saying. 'You know what. Screw that, I'm the one that brings you here that's why I should be the one responsible of your well-being.' Before she could even say anything, Bryson slide his right arm around her back throughout her shoulder then the other one on the back of her knee. Carrying her bridal-style effortlessly. Daisy gasped and a quiet squeaked came out in her mouth followed by her glowing cheeks without delay.
On an impulse, her arms wrapped on his neck, afraid of falling whilst Bryson just tightened his hold and bring her body closer to his broad and muscular chest. 'Better.' Bryson smiled in satisfaction and swiftly kiss her forehead before walking again.
It's like she weigh nothing due to his carefree and relax posture, he even began humming and from time to time, gazed down on her, showing his even and white teeth.
'You should eat more since you're so lightweight and feels like I'm just carrying a feather more than a person.' Bryson teasingly said, chuckling softly when she pinched the back of his neck and hide her face on the crook of it afterwards.
'You know, since we're almost there. I'm going to tell you a secret about this place.'
From the distance, Daisy can hear the sounds of crickets and other insects, rustling and reminding them that they're not alone but, all of these became just a background noise and inanimate to her sense of hearing since the only thing that her eardrums could picked up are the pulsing heartbeat of Bryson. Collected and steady unlike her rapid and disarray one.
They're so close again and its the first time that someone carried her like a princess. Well, everything when it comes to Bryson is her first time— like she was born all over again and just started learning about the world she has to associate for the rest of her life.
'Before I was sent to military camp, this is the place I always spent most of my time. It's like a safe haven to me, something that only I know of. You can say, it became a spot whenever I want to be alone, to collect my thoughts or vent out anything that clouded my mind and it eventually lift up my mood.'
'No one really know about this area. . . I guess. Since I hadn't seen or encountered anyone asides from the natural inhabitants here. Its more secluded and a little bit dangerous anyway especially because, there are lot of wild animals roaming around freely. Its there turf.' Bryson paused before continuing in an ethused voice. 'I even saw a bear here one time with its cubs.' He said like he just complimented how good the weather.
Whereas, Daisy abruptly removed her face on his neck and looked at him with a shocked and horrified expression. A bear? Then why are they here? What if it suddenly show up and attack them because they're trespassing their territory? It could assail them anytime since their night vision is more heightened in the dark unlike them. She wiggled from his hold and tried to come down and make a run from the opposite direction, to where they were just came from and back to the safety of the car.
But, Bryson obviously didn't like the idea as he wouldn't let her foot touch the ground again by grappling her small body and bringing her nigh onto his chest. Their body heat became one, breathe intermingling with each other due to their faces just a few inches apart, heart beating a fast rate of motion by a totally different reason.
'Don't worry, like what I've told you, I promise, I won't let anything or anyone hurt you. I'll be damn dead first before it happen.' Bryson assured in a serious voice but, the tinged of amusement beneath contradicted himself.
Daisy reckoned to his promise of protecting and not leaving her alone. She like the idea of it, but, she's afraid of being dependent and grow accustom that if it suddenly gone or change, she has no one to rely again. Daisy never learned how to become independent, even when she leave her home and started living on her own, there are always someone that helped her in times of needs.
Unable to sign her answer due to her position, she just pouted her lips and played Bryson's hair at the back of his neck with her hands.
'You're lucky I can still hold myself back from kissing you cause if not, you won't be able to jut out that lips again as I'm going to suck on it and eat it like a delicious dessert.'
Daisy's eyes went wide and her body heat burned in an increasingly fast rate, defeating the cold air of the night. She embarrassedly hide her face on Bryson's shoulder and slightly grasped his hair whilst he just laughed due to her innocent and flustered reaction.
She stopped moving though and just stay stilled. Taking a calming breathe to steady and tame her uncontrolled heartbeats.
That confession is quiet tempting for Daisy, she doesn't even know why she like the idea of Bryson's kissing her again considering her first kiss only happened in just a blink of her eyelids. How does it feels like to actually kiss him? To really have their lips connected with each other not just for a fleeting moment? Flustered and extremely embarrassed due to her train of thoughts, Daisy shook her head to remove the. . . evocative idea.
After a few moment, the bustling sound of leaves and clashing of branches become aggressive since the stellar wind became excessive, to the point that her hair flew off to its hiding place beneath the hoodie— losing their coverage as they're now approaching to a tract of land cleared of woods and bushes. Daisy can't really tell or see what the place is because, Bryson's blocking the view, more on, he won't let her face leave his chest, shielding her from the force of wind.
Bryson came to a halt and she felt the slight heaving of his chest. Once again she tried to remove her face from snuggling to its cozy resting place and she succeeded as Bryson, slowly lowered her body until she set foot to the even ground. Her hands holding his arms firmly to keep her balance since her legs wobbled due to its passiveness.
When she looked up to Bryson after making sure to steady herself, his eyes are already set on her. Smiling brightly that reach his slightly hooded ocean blue eyes. Bryson planted his warm lips to her forehead. 'Sometimes, I wonder how I become so lucky to have you that I can't help myself, but to doubt if its true or just a product of my imagination. Remember what I said that I wanted you to enjoy every breathing moment with me? Well, yesterday is only just the beginning of a countless times that has yet to come.' He said against her skin before kissing her forehead once again.
She just bit down her lip, having no idea how to react from such intimate position and words full of affection. Thereafter, Bryson removed his lips and just contented of holding her hand before he traipsed again but, they only take 5 steps forward and then stopped again. 'Welcome to my world.' Bryson said in a quiet almost like a whisper but, jolly and full of excitement voice— he's like a kid showing off to his playmate his most price possession.
She just giggled due to his childlike behavior before looking ahead as her eyesight devoid of any lights before became a mirror of a hundreds twinkling and chromatic show.
They're like on top of the mountain, standing at the highest point of the area that give them a clear view of the town below. The bright and colorful light throughout the town are like a lucid sea that are being reflected by the thousands stars above.
Daisy's breathe hitched and she just gawked at the scene in front. Seeing the kind of exhibit for the first time in her life and having a parley talk mentally as to why she let her dark past forbid her from discovering and experiencing such great wanders that life and this world could offer and bestow to her— if only she have the guts to step up and be courageous.
She felt Bryson's body hugged her from behind, encasing her smaller frame to his bigger one. Daisy should feel bashful because of their intimate position but, her mind is still preoccupied from the view her eyes are greedily oversee.
It never really seized to amused her how Bryson know where to pressed the right button to activate her mode from wary to lighthearted.
'Isn't it amazing how you stand right here, looking down over the vast of the town where you basically live and just gaze at the people though you can't clearly see them. It's like you're above their level, you're superior and you can prove to yourself that for once you matter cause you're the one on top of them even though its only just figuratively.'
Bryson's chin settled on her shoulder, his breathe fanning the right side of her face and his bulky arms clasped on her stomach, her back pressed and rested on his chest. She reprimanded herself from jerking due to her intensified embarrassment and just indulged the comfortable position that brings her a sense of security.
His words hit her at once, thinking the same thing too and accepting the idea that it is really amazing being on a high place— where just the two of them, looking at the expanse of the city but, wherein people couldn't see them in return.
Daisy get her phone in her jeans pocket and typed on it.
'It's breathtaking. Like a fireflies where the lights are only visible during the night. How did you find it anyway? You know a lot of beautiful places.'
After reading the texts, Bryson briefly kissed her shoulder and inhaled her scent before answering in a raspy voice but dulcet to her ears. 'Yeah I know a lot of spots because, I often runaway from home before.' Daisy's ears are all on him. Listening intently and keeping her eyes in front. Savoring and enjoying the moment but, his words bugged her head off for a moment.
Runaway? Why would he runaway from his home? His family are welcoming and very nice.
She wanted to ask when Bryson beat her to it. 'I always runaway before because, I felt suffocated in my place. I had this inferiority complex since growing up, my parents paid more attention to my brother than me. When we were just a kid, Elijah's body is frail and feeble, he could easily got sick and needed some assistance that's why, my parents never leave his side. . . I know, it sounds childish and immature, I should be rational and considerate since I knew how hard it is for my brother for being in a constant exruciating situation. How hard for him to wouldn't be able to do whatever he wanted without someone treating him like a close to breaking piece of an ornament.' Bryson stopped talking and there's a pregnant paused after that.
Daisy suddenly feel sad. She doesn't hate Bryson for being unsympathetic toward his brother, she couldn't object to his words as she is also the same. Daisy grew up deficient of attention from her parents, even though from time to time they visited her, it still wasn't enough. She wanted and desired more.
It became apparent to her that everything doesn't matter— expensive jewelries, exquisites clothes, palatable foods, brand new toys and book even high tech gadgets, cozy and massive room. Everything she could get and have in just a snap of her fingers but, everything she had are not the one she wants because, the one she wants are something she could never have.
'When we started in middle school I just only then realized that I should be the one supporting him more than anyone in this world since I am his big brother, I should be the one always protecting him. So, I did. My relationship with him changed, he became my best friend that always followed me and I became his big brother that he looked up to. . . He became better, his body became strong and the sickness eventually leave his side, and I thought once everything went back to normal so was my parents relationship to me. I thought, finally— they could now became attentive and paid me some attention too but, it didn't changed.'
She can feel the slight tremor and trembling of Bryson's voice, trying to fight back and hold his emotions. But, Daisy wants to hear everything, to know more, to find out what made him who he is right now becaused she will embrace it wholeheartedly. Every fragments.
Daisy crossed her arms over the other to hold Bryson's hand, she slowly rubbed the rough knuckles and snuggled even more to his body. The luminescent in front of them are flickering on their faces, giving them a somehow ethereal glow. Bryson nestled his face on the crook of her neck and a shiver instantly run down her spine because of the sudden warm air that hit her cold skin.
A comfortable silence cloaked them and Daisy thought it's kind of refreshing, having to listen at something personal coming from the only person that matter to her now. She also want to share her story, to unravel the mystery and secrets in her life but, as the coward the she is and always will be. Daisy is afraid that once Bryson find out how really messed up her head and she's not as benevolent as people like to think about her, he might or surely change his mind and leave her as to not get involve in her welter life.
'So when I finally got the car of my own, thats when I started to leave my home and strolled to anywhere the vehicle could take me. . . I thought that, maybe if I went somewhere and leave my family alone, it would make them realized that I was also there or maybe I could just recollect myself and just accept the fact that no matter what happened— no matter what I'd do, nothing would really changed and I just need to adjust and adopt on my own.'
'It really helped me in the end, going from one place to another satisfied my longing and ached for attention. I had found this place from all those many one. Those places became my greatest escape.
But. . . Once the desperate boy became a closed off. I only realized then that I literally got farther and father away from my family, our bond's snapped and it became harder for me to get close again since from the very beginning. . . I don't how to.'
Bryson took long a deep breathe, seeming to have a debate inside his head, thinking if he should continue telling his story or not. Daisy just let him composed himself, she wants to go with his pace too like he always did for her. Bryson might not realized it but, she wanted to become his solacer, the one that he can also lean into as he's not alone and never will be as long as she's there by his side.
They both have different issues in their life and self, a battle they had and has always tried to fight back but, if they're together, maybe they can compete to it, after all two is better than one.
'I met different people, hang out with different group, always searching and looking for something and someone I could finally call my home. Even if its just temporary, at least I know I'm not alone but, that was my biggest mistake. . . I became accustomed to that lifestyle that somehow along the line, even if I knew my companions are doing something bad and harmful, I just turned a blind eye and in fact, I had abided by it and let myself got influenced too.'
'I always got into fight, always caused havoc and trouble, done something terrible things, very terrible that it even harmed myself and someone on the receiving end. . But, you know what?— My parents finally noticed me, they started paying attention. Though it's not the one I always wanted to be but, nonetheless, it made me happy. I know I'm such a messed up and twisted person. How could I be proud of my misdeed just because, my parents whom I wanted some acknowledgement finally turned their cognizance to me. I thought that even if I'm going on the wrong path. I at least gained a little bit of their time but, at the end. I became the black sheep of the family—' Bryson's voice became a mocking tone, like he's laughing to himself of how a shameful being he was. He is.
Truthfully, Daisy never expected the sudden turned of story, never thought that Bryson— the calm, gentle, sweet, caring one she used to know of is capable of doing such. . . noxious things. She must feel conflicted or ambivalent but, why does it didn't changed her feelings from before or how he know Bryson from the very start? Actually, it made her proud of him not because he did such wrongdoings but because, he is so brave for telling her his dark past without hesitation. Like it didn't crossed his mind that maybe— after telling her his history, it'll changed her mind and leave him alone.
Daisy wish to become someone like Bryson, to finally let go of the restrains to herself and just tell him everything, every bits and details. She couldn't though. Not this time. She still need some time— accept to herself the weigh and damage it'll caused once she break her wall and withdraw her defenses. Not just to her but, anyone around her.
Bryson untangled himself from her and the cold crisp of air once again found its place to her body. He turned her around so that they're now facing each other. Close as one, breathing the same air, drowning from each other's pool of emotional eyes— him a combination of sadness, remorsefulness and hopefulness and her a mixture of sadness, fondness and acceptance.
Bryson sneaked his arms on the small of her back, ocean blue eyes never leaving her chestnuts colored one, as the light dance and twinkle on his hooded and shadowed face, his eyes became an oceanic of illustrious flaring light, captivating, enthralling and just pure intense feelings like it suddenly sucked her to an endless pit of the galaxy, taking her breathe away due to the lack of oxygen but, at the same time— she never really mind as the view is the only thing that immersed her.
'You might be wondering why I told you such nonsensical and just random thing about my life. You might be thinking that I am really a bad person and someone that don't really deserve your attention.' She wanted to protest, tell him that it's not true and no matter what he did, it will never change what she feel about him. But, Bryson it didn't let her speak.
'I am selfish, extremely selfish that even if you think of leaving me now, I won't and ever let you. I want you to know what I am, who I am, where did the Bryson you know came from, how he became like how he is standing in front of you now and why he became such a person. Someone with nothing but himself to offer to you. I want you to see my world, its not the full story and there are still a long list or chapter of it, the things that I said are just a beginning of it, but, I want to start today, I want you to open it and started reading as from now on, I have someone special who I could write into it, and finally someone that will end it up in a happy ending. You become the light in my life Daisy. I might not be the best person that you could spend the rest of your life with but— is it wrong if I wish something like that? Because if it is, then I want to be a sinner and just keep on wishing that maybe. . . Just maybe. Your light can reach even the bottom of my dark ocean.'
Bryson slowly lifted his hands and cupped her cheeks then his thumbs wiped something on her face. Tears? Daisy didn't even realized that her feelings became too much— too much that it sneaked out of her eyes and rolled down on her cheeks. Why is she crying? Why does it feels like she can't breathe? not because of her anxiety or panic attack. Her emotions became like the view behind her that witnessed their moment, like a fireflies— kindling and fluttering in a million light in her chest. Giving an assurance that even when the brightness died down in her life, it will always come back in her every gloaming time.
Its a feeling of. . . settlement and belonging— his words feels like a pledged solely for her and no one else and that— that is something Daisy longed and her heart yearned for. And finally someone took notice of it, that person is now standing in front of her.
'I won't force you to tell me yours too and I don't want you to feel obligated just because I told you my own side but, I hope that when the right time comes, you'll finally let me in to your life. I'll always wait for you though. Always. So, please don't be afraid of me becoming part of your book too since no matter what happen, whatever it is. I intend to write a happy ending to your story— or better yet, let's write our story together.'
Bryson bend down his upper body and leaned in close to her before bringing his lips on the side of her own. Daisy just only let the very close proximity of their faces, gratifying herself to the comforting and satisfying feeling of his skin to her own.
Someday. Someday she will be able to open her book too. Let the guy read it freely, give him a permission to make a review of how it is, if its miserable and tragic like she thought and believe for a long time or just a piece of book that needed some help— a revision, a guidance, some changing of the flow to create a different plot and finally have a nice and fortunate ending to the last chapter of it. Someday.
Bryson pushed her gently and just hold her hand to his big and warm one. Looking down on her and smiling fondly.
'This. This is the place where everything about me started. This place had seen a different side of me which are the sides that I wanted to let go. But now, I want this place to become the witness of how I will going to start making a changes to myself and be as good as someone deserving of you. So— will you Daisy Swales, partake to my objective and goal for the future.'
There are like a spellbind that Bryson casted on her as to keep her from moving even just an inch of her body. Everything about the man in front of her is hypnotizing. How he looked at her through his ocean blue eyes, how his words captivate her like a beautiful masterpiece in a museum and how his emotions filled her up to the brim. With a smile on her face and the same feelings he has right now on her sleeves. She motioned her answer in a moderate but steadfast sign language.
'You don't have to change of who you are because no matter what you did, how did you become, why did you chose that side or where it all started. I accept and always will be your side too. So yes. Bryson Kingston. I want to partake and be part of your future.'
－✿－