I turned my door handle to find it unlocked. My hand inched towards my axe as I opened the door stealthily. When I opened it to see the fire lit and Sasha curled up asleep, I let out a silent sigh of relief. What was she doing here? How had she gotten in? How long had she been here?
I took off my cloak, hanging it on the hook next to the door, slipped my boots off and locked the door. Sebastian better not have upset her again. Why me? Why didn't she throw him out? I sighed. This wasn't helping my growing feelings for the life-loving she wolf.
"Sasha?" I asked.
She stirred a little.
"Sasha?" I tried again.
She sat up, stretching yawning loudly, and looked at me. "Aye?"
"How did you get in here?" I asked.
"You left your door unlocked."
I smacked my forehead. One of these days that would be a big mistake.
"Why are you here?" I asked.
She sighed, shaking her head.
"Nice to see you too."
"Sasha, Sebastian is going to kill me."
She laughed. "First off you're a stockier build than him. I'd love to see him try. Second off, he asked me to come here."
It took everything I had not to let my jaw drop. What was happening?
"Why?"
Tears welled in her eyes and I was at her side at once. What was going on?
"Alistor and Eve are gone," she stammered out. "Someone … someone said a guardian escorted them out. Something about being pardoned."
I looked at her, confused.
"They were guardians. Something happened and they were stripped of all titles. Eve was a half angel … that's probably part of it. Her blood is as rare as Sebastian's."
Guardians. The both of them. I knew there was a reason Maverick had beaten Eve so badly. I tried to restrain my anger.
"You okay?" she asked.
I wiped the tears from her cheek and she just looked at me, confuse.
"I should be asking you that. If they were pardoned, why are you worried? Why would Sebastian send you here? He hates me."
She didn't even try to move my hand when I cupped her cheek. Why were we being drawn to each other like this? I knew she liked me, but she was courting Sebastian. Why couldn't I keep myself from thinking , I don't care at that thought? She finally moved her head out of my grasp.
"He doesn't hate you. He just doesn't trust us together," she said and then whispered, looking towards the fire, "as he shouldn't."
I sighed. She had a point. As much as I tried to push her away, we were tugged together. I was no good for her. Not with the mounting deaths that I had and demons chasing me.
"Sorry," I whispered.
She looked at me, confused. "You know I'm trying as hard as I can not to … not to be gentle with you. I try to respect your decision of being courted by Sebastian, it's just … that string."
"I know. I know you try your best."
Not that she was innocent. She made it hard to remember she was Sebastian's.
"He's guessed I'm at a constant war with who to choose," she said quietly. "I've never been in this situation."
I smirked. "What situation?"
She glared me down. "Like you don't know!"
I honestly didn't. All this was new for me too. She was the first girl that I had gone completely foolish for. I was completely wrong for her, but we seemed to be pushed together no matter how hard I fought it. She filled my thoughts every waking and sleeping moment of every day. I wanted her to be mine. Not Sebastian's. He treated her like glass. She was clumsy, yes, but she was a fighter- a warrior- not a damsel in distress. I knew how much it bothered her that he treated her like she was fragile.
"It's new for me too. All of it," I whispered.
She looked at me, confused. "How?"
"In my tribe I was a Raksheesh- a scorn. Being made a prince didn't help. When I was engaged it was arranged. I didn't know her…" I said, cutting myself off for the memory of how she had looked with him was choking me up.
"You've never been in love?" she said in awe.
"Never," I whispered. "And of course now it is with the one person I cannot have. I'm not good for you, Sasha. Nor is Sebastian, but I'm respecting your choices. I'm telling you, it is better to stay away from me. I'm dangerous."
She shook her head. "You're not the monster you make yourself out to be. You had a chance to hurt me when he had control and you didn't."
I sighed, pulling away from her. That news shocked me. What did she mean? Rowan had actually restrained himself?
Of course he did.
Rowan was drawn to her too. Or was it because of Rowan I was drawn to her? Was that possible? I placed my head in my hands. Why did my life have to be so difficult?