It was about an hour before we stopped for the night for it was too dark to keep going. Hassan made a fire and I took the saddles off our horses. We hadn't talked at all since we left. Why had the most decorated general thrown his life away for me?
"Why?" I finally asked, sitting beside him.
He sighed. "A promise to Sari."
I looked at him to see a few silent tears falling down his cheeks. His eyes held the look of a haunted man.
"Hassan…"
"Jaspen, she was the one woman I could never say no to. The only thing I stayed strong about was letting her bear none of my children. When you find the one, you will understand how strong promises are."
I looked away, trying to conceal the hurt. I knew he secretly, deep down, still blamed me for the passing of his wife. It hadn't been my choice. Ander and the king had played their part.
Hassan placed his hand on my shoulder.
"Jaspen, do not hear me wrong. You are the son I always wanted."
"Thanks," I said, feeling color rise in my cheeks.
He wasn't one for compliments. Ever since he had his talk with Sari he seemed to have warmed up to me more, but it was almost too quick, which made me wonder if it was forced or if he had a change of heart. It was a little much to take at times.
"I really do mean it, Jaspen."
"Thanks," I mumbled.
I really didn't know how to respond. I had never thought of someone as the father figure I wished I had. I had just had people I looked up to- encouraged myself to be like- but I always messed it up. Thekros had been the closest person to a father figure till now.
After that, not much more talk passed between us. Hassan cooked dinner and I sat back looking at the stars, wondering for the hundredth time why I had to be chosen by Ander. Why couldn't I have been chosen by the Goddess of War, Miria, or just not been picked at all?
"Do you want first watch?" I asked finally, after dinner.
He shrugged. "Either way."
"I'll take it then."
***
After I was sure Hassan was asleep, I worked on using my gift of fire a good distance from the camp. I wanted to learn how to control it. I was tired of fearing something that would more than likely save my life later on, but I couldn't get it to come. I was getting frustrated and threw myself down in the sand looking up at the stars.
"Do you need help?" came the familiar, booming voice of Ander.
Was he too bored or did he just have no more chaos to work tonight? It wasn't like a god to make house calls.
"No," I said coldly.
He chuckled. "You linked it with fear, Jaspen. That is why you can't wield it. Right now rage rolls off you not fear."
I sighed. "Can you change it to rage?"
I'm pretty sure he was smirking. "Aye. It can be done."
I felt him touch my shoulder and say something in ancient demon that sounded like, "Return to me and let rage flare what fear can't."
For the rest of the night, Ander helped me learn how to control his gift of fire.