August 16 12:24am
Hello. Today was good! At first, it was totally hectic because I had to drive my family everywhere, all week I gotta do this! Every morning I gotta get up at 8 am, feels like school again.
Anyways, me and my friend Jules decided to go somewhere today. I ended up just driving over there and parking my car and we walked around the rest of the night. We totally bonded. We never hung out much before, but she used to go out with one of Jason's friends. She's been more friends with Jolene. But we walked around in search of Chris because I totally miss him a whole bunch and she understands. But I think I'm finally getting over him.
I feel bad cause I had total fun tonight with his friends. Haha. David's jeep had a screw in the tire so we helped him change his tire. It was a learning experience.
Trevor and Bobby and Amar were there with him. Me and Jules were just laughing the whole night at them. Trevor is so cute.
I realized today that I can feel good again without Chris. Even though it was with his friends, but hey I know it can happen. I still love him and I will forever but I know now that we are through forever and I can accept that.
So I have a dilemma, do I call Chris up ad tell him that I'm fine now or do I not call him at all and see if he calls me? Or maybe I'll call him, tell him then never call him again? I don't know.
If I call him and tell him maybe that's exactly what he wants to hear. But if I don't, then he will still think about me a little. But do I want him to think about me?
Yes, I do I guess. Deep down I guess I'm hoping that this will all go away and things will go back to normal.
What is normal though, right? Oh well, I'll write more later.