_Jericho_
SEPTEMBER 15
"Amelia"
I said standing on the stage of the auditorium, a spotlight focused on me, blinding me from recognizing the faces in the dark audience. The audience sat carefully waiting for my next words, listening as if this were theatric. Amelia appears at the other end of the stage and a spotlight is directed onto her. in the same outfit, she was wearing when I met her. Black jeans, white collared shirt, and a light blue bomber jacket that seemed worn out and too big for her. Her hair hung beautifully and freely, unlike when I met her. She turned to me focused and serious. For a second I could swear she smiled but that smile disappeared as quickly as it appeared.
"Yes?" she said, her voice calm and collected, unlike me who was shaking and nervous. I stepped toward her and she turned her body to me, giving me her full attention. I took a deep breath.
"I love you," I said softly. I wasn't sure she heard me because her face didn't change, but there were gasps in the audience as if they didn't expect such a thing to be said. After what seemed to be an eternity, Amelia finally reacted by walking toward me, stopping only a few feet apart. she smiled but her eyes stayed cold.
"How sad," she said tilting her head in what I think is amusement. a grin appeared and her face twisted in a cruel look. "To think I would accept the love of someone like you." She got closer and placed a hand on my cheek. Her eyes studied me with amusement like i was a toy. "Not even Rebecca could deal with you. What makes you think I want to?" My heart dropped. Tears formed in my eyes despite fighting to look strong. I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out.
"Pathetic"
________________________
I woke up to Lady Gaga singing stupid love. I felt a scream caught in my throat. I rubbed my eyes and felt my face wet from tears that I had formed during my sleep. Lola has wasted my valuable sleep time when she started blasting her music. She always broomed and mopped on Saturdays but normally she listened to music with earphones. I got up and properly wiped my face, I couldn't get Lola worrying about me. It was just a dream. Just a dream. I opened the door to listen to Lola "singing" or what I call screaming at the top of her lungs alongside lady Gaga. I leaned on the balcony looking down at Lola who was brooming the living room.
"I WANT YOUR STUPID LOVE" Lola screamed. I rolled my eyes.
"HEY!" I yelled to get her attention. Her head snapped up and she grinned. She leaned on the broom and paused her music.
"Hey Jer you didn't need scream I'm not deaf" I opened my mouth to protest but I decided not to argue with her.
"Where's Kyong-tae?" I asked. Obviously she wasn't at home because waking up Kyong-tae is a death sentence ESPECIALLY on a Saturday, and Lola knows it. So for her to be blasting music, Kyong-tae must be out.
"She had to wake up early because she had to go to the DMV. She was not happy." Lola responded before she started to continue to broom. I laughed as I visualized a grumpy Kyong-tae storming out the door. I climbed down the stairs and walked to the kitchen.
"What's wrong with you? You're dragging your feet" Lola asked from the living room. I groaned and rubbed my eyes
"nothing." I quickly said grabbing a bowl, making cereal and I went to go sit down in the dining room. I held my head down as I heard Lola walk toward me and placed a hand on my shoulder
"Grinny," she said softly. "You never drag your feet. What's wrong?" I turned to her and shook my head. Lola opened her mouth to say something but we heard the door open.
"I'm home people!" Kyong-tae's voice ran throughout the house. Lola gave me a concerned look. Kyong-tae walked into the kitchen and stopped when she saw what was happening. "What's going on?" I opened my mouth to answer but Lola beat me to it
"Somethings wrong with Jericho," she said not breaking the concerned and worried look she had. I rolled my eyes
"I'm fine! Lolas just trying to get out of cleaning!" I said trying to redirect the conversation.
"Somethings definitely up," Lola said. Kyong-tae put down her bag and walked toward us. Lola took a seat next to me and Kyong-tae took the seat opposite of Lola. I turned to Kyong-tae to try to figure out why she had been so quiet but Kyong-tae was already looking at me, studying my face; trying to decide who was right.
"Jericho," Kyong-tae said like a mother, her gaze protective and soothing but worried and concerned. I lost control and my eyes began to water.
"I just- I'm fine," I said with a shaking voice. "I just had a bad dream that's it." Trying to stop before I'm crying in front of them on a Saturday morning. Lola placed her hand on mine and smiled sincerely.
"Do you want to talk about it? If not it's totally okay!" Lola offered. Kyong-tae nodded
"It's okay to cry Jericho, some dreams just get to us," Kyong-tae said grabbing my free hand and rubbing it as a way to comfort me. I took a big breath, these were my people.
"My dream was- " breath it's okay "I dreamt I confessed to Amelia... in front of a ton of strangers... on stage... Like it was a play or something." I quickly said scanning their faces to see their reactions. Lola looked interested and Kyong-tae just furrowed her eyebrows like if she was thinking hard. They kept quiet as if they expected something more. Maybe the outcome. I sighed I had to tell them. "Amelia just laughed at my face and told me 'why would she ever love someone like me or even accept my love' " I looked down afraid to tell them about the Rebecca bit, the bit that hurt the most. Lola tightens the grip she had on my hand and raised my head with her other hand assuring me they were here for me. "She also brought up Rebecca... how she couldn't even deal with me." Kyong-taes face fell
"What happened with Rebecca was none of your fault Jericho." She expressed, but it was like she was afraid I would believe what bad dream Amelia said.. and I did partially. I nodded despite the little piece of doubt that chewed through my consciousness.
"don't let bad Amelia make you feel like you're not valid! You're 10000% valid and your love is beautiful and amazing" Lola said trying to comfort me. I smiled softly.
"Maybe you should just take a breather from the whole chasing Amelia thing," Kyong-tae said surprising me. After yesterday I had been thinking about it, but I couldn't decide. Maybe I was overwhelmed and overthinking this whole thing. I can't exactly force a relationship, friendship, or more. Lola nodded
"It's not completely healthy to obsess over a girl who hasn't given you any signs." Lola pitched in. Had Amelia ever given me any signs? Maybe I was just imagining the little signals that Amelia had been giving me, my gaydar was usually on point, but with her, I couldn't tell. All these signals I've over-analyzed and I couldn't comprehend it. I agreed with Kyong-taes pitch.
"Maybe you guys are right, I can't chase after a girl who might not even be gay!" They both nodded. "Plus she hasn't given me any signs and I've just pushed and maybe I need to stop. This whole thing's getting inside my head." I said standing up and putting my hands on my hips to give me confidence. A little tip I learned from greys anatomy. "I'm also amazing and cool! So if she wants something too then she'll have to chase too!" I stated. Lola pumped her fist
"Yeah! Don't forget you're a catch too!" She said standing up. Kyong-tae got up and smiled at this little self-confidence rally.
"I am halting any advance until she gives a sign. If she doesn't then I'll have to accept that she doesn't like me either as a girl or just because and move on" Lola and Kyong-tae grinned and engulfed me in a tight and secure hug. They were my family and I'm proud of it. When we separated Kyong-tae patted me on the back and smiled proudly at me
"I love you guys. I don't know what I would do without you thank you." My gratitude for them was beyond words but a thank you would have to be enough. They smiled at me
"You know we're here for you whenever you need us, Jeri, we're the super trio after all" Kyong-tae said placing a hand on my shoulder. Lola pointed toward the table.
"Not to ruin this touchy moment but your cereal has gone soggy." She said. I turned to see my cereal looking sad and miserable.
"That was my breakfast :(" I pouted
"Just go to the new cafe across the park, I heard their stuff is good," Lola said heading back to the living room
"Have you guys eaten yet?" I asked so that I wouldn't have to go by myself. Kyong-tae nodded
"Since I had to go to the DMV in Aslan I decided to eat after my appointment so I ate already," Kyong-tae explained.
"I ate breakfast already so sorry Jer you're gonna have to go on your own!" Lola screamed from the living room. I sighed and accepted the fact that I was going alone.
Strolling through town early on a Saturday will almost guarantee a lonely and barren passage. Everyone who doesn't have to be up is sleeping in. Walking in the park I passed by the bridge that connected to the other side of town with this side. It's also the bridge where I tried to get lunch with Amelia after a week from meeting her. It's funny and stupid, but all I can think about is her. I may not have known her for very long but she was so invigorating, as much as I was tried to deny it. She had been the first girl who's spiked my interest since Rebecca.
I was so busy thinking about Amelia and how to resist chasing her nonstop when I realized I was in front of the cafe. The sign on top said: little temptation coffee shop. Interesting choice of name? This better not be another weirdass coffee shop like the one Lola showed me when we were visiting Aslan. When I entered I was greeted with the beautiful smell of coffee and fresh bread. I like this place already it looked pretty normal, I liked the aroma. It felt homey and calming. There was a little line so I decided it was time to stop drifting and get in line.
The person in front of me was seconds away from leaving and I already had my coffee and breakfast planned. When the guy stepped away my face dropped. What the f-
"Hello! Welcome to little temptation coffee shop! How can I assist you?" As I live and breathe no amount of bad luck has ever struck me like today.
Standing before me was the beautiful and astonishing Amelia.
========
-Aegean✨