It's now October and I've been having a pleasant month so far, after we upgraded naruto's seal he began training frantically so he can overcome his new trauma.... my women. When Hinata, Anko, Tayuya and Fuu chased and destroyed his clone army he began shivering in their presence. It only increased when Kurenai appeared to oversee his training and she drooled looking at him.
Asuma who was there explaining about wind natura chakra grew pissed at the sight not realising that my sister wanted to eat naruto or rather the fox sealed inside him. Asuma has kinda been a dick to me for awhile ever since rumours of my sister getting a man spread. It's me~ most shinobi know it but don't wanna piss me off. I'm still confused about why he's hung up on Kurenai when he's dating tsubaki. A rooster should stick to the chicken and not bother the duck.
Speaking of tsubaki reminds me of when I met her during the two year break. Mizuki broke out of prison and had turned into a tiger man. He went after her and tried to take her as she was his childhood crush. Really bro? I guess he has naruto level intelligence after being gang banged by him and his 200 clones. That was the exact line I said to him when I was tasked to track him down.
Team 8 is the best tracker squad in konoha to be fair so who else would they call to hunt a tiger man. Orochimaru really liked fucking with biology, I reviewed his notes from his early work along with some acquired from his discovered bases. He's already cracked eternal youth but craves mastery over all elements.
He even wrote his theory about a super bloodline that requires four specific ones to achieve but he has no idea which ones. He determined senju to be one but not the others. I can answer that question right now though.
Senju, Uzumaki, Uchiha, kaguya and hyuga. These are the bloodlines needed to assemble an Ōtsutsuki bloodline. The two dõjutsu, the unique chakra of an uzumaki, the vitality of a senju and the bones of a kaguya. The idiot never tried Hyūga DNA cause he got fixated on itachi. I have no notes from after that period but from canon knowledge I know he never reached the same conclusion.
Back to tsubaki and the tiger man story she reported feeling like she was being watched constantly, tsunade assumes jiraiya had returned and was using her for material or her boyfriend was feeling kinky but that changed when someone broke into the sarutobi compound where she was living.
Getting permission to go into clan territory is tricky for normal shinobi but for a Yūhi that's no issue. Almost everyone in the sarutobi clan loved us since I introduced Doritos and Cadbury chocolate to them, I didn't crack Mountain Dew but I also had cola for them. Those greened out monkeys let me search but asuma didn't. He kicked up a fuss about searching his room and that he didn't feel comfortable for a man to do it. So with a kind smile Hinata and Hana knocked his ass out so we could continue investigating.
I found a diary filled with details about my sister, burned that. A weed stash, smoked that. Whiskey which I sent to tsunade, fucked that. Chakra blades which I was thinking of stealing but chose not to. Then some stuff about his time as a daimyo lap dog. Tsubaki the poor thing had most of her stuff desecrated in a familiar white goo. So I gave her Asuma's wallet and told the girls to take her shopping for new stuff.
They beamed at the chance to shop without a limit so body flickered away. I checked for any kind of tracks finding some tiger fur which led me to lord thirds place. I soon learned that I wasn't the only one with a harem Jesus Christ, the old man had his second and third wives along with a few concubines. He also looked a lot younger so a quick sensory scan showed that he'd been practising sage arts. He's a horny monkey sage now.
Realising I was tracking the wrong fur I left the compound to check up on stuff I remembered about Mizuki. That's when it clicked, Iruka! I went to my childhood teacher's apartment and found the guy breaking in there in broad daylight. I used my gourmet fist which is a recreation of teppei's moves using my medical and cooking knowledge. He was well done and twitching, long story short he broke out of prison during a battle between root and bark.
They were starting to go at it and the two elders decided to end danzo'S prison break scheme that they had invested in. So tsunade dismantles the prison and destroyed some of both organisations bases. She also got a tiger fur coat a month later and everyone else saw how I stared at her in it. That followed a modelling competition in feline themed lingerie.
After that asuma became pissed at me because of the debt he racked up and how I embarrassed Him infront of women. He tried making the sarutobi stop buying my products by abusing the clan heir seat which nearly started a civil war in the clan till he was stripped of it by hiruzen. The man gets more loyal the more I put out so I did the world a favour that blustered icha icha series sales immensely. I invented edible lube along with a few flavours.
Birth rates improved a lot after that, anko started a little venture into all the sex toys I created for our alone time that didn't exist anywhere else. Good times~
Long story short asuma hates me, tsubaki having second thoughts about him, naruto leaning towards sausage more than ever and the sex shop that anko started is booming.