Antonius moved one step forward and grabbed hold of Abdullah's hands, staring into the latter's eyes with sincerity in his eyes, grabbing the paws of Abdullah tightly and impetrated beneath his voice, the two faces close enough until Abdullah can feel the warm air coming out from his friend's nose.
"Teach me, Abdullah, to be honest I am now like a quail flying among the total darkness, not knowing when will a vulture swoop down on me…. Be my firefly of the darkness, shine my way and expose my enemy, please."
Abdullah stepped one step backwards not getting used to this kind of Italian zeal, bowed with his hand palm on his chest and another hand in mid air. "I have nothing to teach you… My friend, and I do not deserve such honour and respect from you, I can only say that from my understanding of Zaganos Pasha, there is a potential chance that he will come back scouting, indeed like a vulture, hoping that by chance he might catch a few Romans lurking around to be added on to his bounty."
"That is great." Antonius let out a cold humph and picked up his basinet from a stool. "I am already seeking a fight with these people, I will need to avenge my brothers who are lost during the battle at that damned gate, I have swear in front of Christ that I will avenge them, blood for blood!"
Abdullah hurriedly dragged Antonius back into the tent. "I cannot just let you go and find your own demise with your men like this! Trust me! Your sailors and mercenaries will stand totally no chance against those highly mobile calvaries and blades men from Serbia of Zaganos Pasha, those alti boluk horsemen will first kite your Varangians into total submission, then the heavy Siphai knights will crush your sailor infantries from the flanks and rear, and screw you upside down!"
Antonius replied biting his own teeth in hatred. "What about my brothers? Can you guess how many men I've lost from the start of the siege?"
"My friend, anger begins with madness and insanity, but always ends in regret! Listen to me first!"
"Abdullah." Antonius stopped and turned back replying with a face that has a mixture of various emotions, sadness, anxiety, regret, anger… and many others that Abdullah cannot tell. "I caused the death of a fellow Varangian of mine, I gave him a mission impossible to accomplish, a fight no one is able to win. However, he accomplished the mission impossible with flying colours, and ended the fight by having a slit at his foe's throat quick and decisively…."
"…. With the price of his life?" Abdullah guessed it. "Come on! Be a man, look at where are you now! There is no time any chit chat or counselling session, since you are in the position, any weakness in your mind can cause the eventual death of not only you, but thousands of others, so wake up your idea! No decision should be made before it goes through the logic part of your head."
"yap I know." Antonius seems to have suddenly let off some burden off his shoulders. "You have told me about this last time, I remember."
"Let me tell you a story." Abdullah began his story telling session again. "Once a point in time, many ,many centuries ago, there is a general in a kingdom who devoted all of his blood and sweat to his lord, fighting the foes of the kingdom vowed to chase them out of their borders, one day, the foes backed off, fearing the general, and the general got a hero's welcome back to his capital. However, his foes soon started spreading rumours that the general is about to launch a coup, take over the throne and be the king himself…."
"…. And so, despite all odds and the obvious loyalty and virtues of the general, the king and the council decided to chase the general off into exile, thus the two parties began a series of violent clashes inside the kingdom, which severely weakened the military defence of the state… And when the time is right, their past foes have recovered from their wounds, coming back with a much more impactful force, and conquering the kingdom, eliminating the general and the king in the process…"
"You know what I mean?"
Antonius hesitated for a while, nodded but immediately shook his head. "Yes… and no."
"I, am the general." Antonius pointed to himself. "The kingdom… is Constantinople?" He pointed backwards towards the city.
Abdullah nodded. "Yes, the foes being the Ottomans and the king being the… your temporary overlord and partner."
"You don't trust him?"
"Antonius my friend." Abdullah sighed. "Men can change, just like I was a faithful member of the Janissary last time, I expect Constantine might change just like me."
"Let me ask you." Abdullah sat down on the ground dragging Antonius with him. "Do you have any friends in the senate talking in your favour?"
"Nope."
"Government?"
"Nope."
"Court?"
"Nope."
"By the emperor's side?"
"Nope."
"You see, that is the problem." Abdullah sighed again. "This means that you can apply almost zero influence upon the emperor. While the senators and courtiers who are against your presence, on the other hand, can go to the emperor almost everyday and spread gossips against your fame, and trust me, brother, he will change, eventually… And you won't be able to do anything about it."
Antonius began thinking.
"Since the Ottoman forces have backed off, you, Giovanni, and your men are no longer that required by the emperor, instead your men have became a source of instability inside the city, it draws back unpleasant memories of the Catalonians… And they might treat you with the same way, or perhaps even worse."
Antonius understood something.
"Please, Abdullah, teach me, what should I do under current circumstances." Antonius turned back facing Abdullah and persuaded.
"I don't have much to suggest at this point of time." Abdullah shook his head and responded lowering his head. "Minimise your presence, preserve your strength, and wait for change."