Rin didn't believe in those love stories everyone says, Rin didn't know love even existed because she was never probably cared for. Will someone save her?
*
Rain plastering against the windows hard and thunder could be heard in the distance, staring out the window I wondered if life really was all that great people say it is. I didn't know what seemed so good about life, all I could do was try to get by throughout the day not knowing if I was able to make it for the day coming up next.
Noises could be heard in the background as the teacher was explaining the lesson we were learning in class but I was too focused on the rain and my own thoughts. Just what seemed so good about life? I couldn't really put my finger on it, each second making it harder to breathe and I was getting a step closer to giving up. But I couldn't, my eyes curious on if I can actually experience that happiness everyone has yet I have a burning desire for it.
I didn't notice when someone was tapping my shoulder until I felt something wet going down my back, I jolted in my seat to turn around to see Kayla smirking at me. "What a loser as usual." She snickers.
I bit my lip, turning back to facing the window. Maybe I'm being delusional, maybe there was no such thing as happiness and everyone is actually miserable like me. Maybe love is just some fairy tale that everyone chases after only to get heartbroken in the end because of their own stupid delusional heart telling them "this is love." It doesn't exist, it can't exist. But I'm still so curious, it's annoying. "Rin Cox! Are you ever paying attention in class?"
I froze in my spot as I slowly looked over at the teacher, his arms crossed his chest as he looks at me, a look that didn't seem to care but only here because they didn't have a choice. You could easily see in the eyes on how people actually felt, whether they were happy or sad it was an easy sign to see if you truly looked inside their eyes. "I'm sorry...I barely slept because of the thunder." I lied biting my lip.
He sighed believing that silly little lie that left my lips. "Just try to pass the test coming up okay?"
I nodded, looking down at my empty notebook. I need to take notes, I have to take notes if I want to get somewhere in life. "Imagine the good innocent little girl not paying attention in class, oh that's something new...wait it isn't new. Poor girl is gonna fail high school and not be able to live with herself as she's homeless and begging for money in the streets." Kayla says loud enough for me to hear.
Her comebacks honestly sucked, I dealt with worse but she tried her best to insult me. Deep down, it hurt that she just wanted to get under my skin but come on, come up with better insults please. "Can you please-" I started to speak up. "Kayla what kind of insults are those?" A deep voice next to me snickered.
Oliver, the most annoying guy in the whole entire school but he's also the class clown. He thinks he can get away with anything as long as he says those simple words. "It was only a joke." If only he got a piece of his own joke cause none of his jokes were funny, but to everyone he was down right hilarious. Especially when he started to make those jokes about me, he was way worse than most people besides his older brother, Jared.
Jared honestly sucked, and he's the only reason why I hated coming to this school. Normally I would suck it up and try to shut everyone out, pretend they don't exist but what he does, nobody should have to go through that.
It may be triggering if I say it, it's triggering to even try to recall all the things he's done so I'm not going to mention anything inside my head anymore. I need to forget about it.
Soon the bell rang throughout the school, meaning it was finally time to head for lunch. I slowly got up from my seat, I need to change since she poured something down my back.
I left the classroom with my belongings as I head to my locker. I put in the combination, slowly opening it only to have slime spray all over me in the process.
I closed my eyes pressing my lips together in a tight line, don't cry. We don't cry, we gotta hold it together. But I don't think I can take this anymore. Hold onto your burning desire, you will one day find happiness, search for it and don't give up. Just because you're living hell right now doesn't mean it'll always be like this. Yet it hurts, it hurts so much and I don't know how much longer I can continue this.
Bringing my hands to my face as I tried to get the remaining slime off my face so I could open my eyes, I started hearing laughter. Ignore them, shut them out once again. I looked down at my feet, hands clenched into a fist as I take a long deep breath. I started putting my things in the locker. There's no point in changing now since my gym uniform is also covered in slime, and gym is the next class..I shook away those thoughts and took out the clothes anyways. No need to complain, you can do this.
*
Entering the door to my house, smoke filled my nostrils. I covered my nose and mouth not wanting to inhale the poison. I looked over to see my mother sitting on the couch with a beer in one hand, cigarette in the other and a phone against her ear. "I'm home.." I mumbled as I took off my shoes near the door.
I looked at the ground so see it was a huge mess, I just cleaned it up yesterday. The floor had a new brown stain and near the vanity was broken glass. I guess someone pissed her off again. I shivered at the thought and shook my head. She can't do anything, not today.
Don't keep springing lies to yourself, she'll do whatever she wants and you don't get a choice. Stop praying today will be any different. Can that voice please just shut up. I tried walking past the couch quietly as ever to not disturb her. "Rin."
I stopped in my track, fear taking over my body. "Y-Yes mom?"
She turned around to look at me but I kept my back to her, my body completely frozen. "Come here."
I gulped slowly backing up, don't want to upset her. I turned around as I made my way over to the women who gave birth to me. "Why are you covered in that shit and dragging it all through our house? Didn't I tell you to stop dirtying it up?" She said starting to raise her voice.
I nodded keeping my eyes to the floor. "Plus why are you home so early? It's bad enough you exist. Don't come home before 7 pm, I can't stand when you don't listen."
Tears started forming in my eyes making my whole vision blurry. "I'm sorry..I just wanted to shower.." I whispered.
"Now you want to fucking mumble under your breath?! If you have something to say, say it to my face you stupid bitch!" She screamed as she pulling my hair, throwing me against the wall.
I choked, wiping my eyes to hide the evidence I was crying so she wouldn't do worse. I could hear her footsteps coming this way as she forcefully yanked me up, turning my face towards her own. "Sometimes you should really think about ending your life and do everyone a favor." She spat before continuously hurting me.
It went by for two hours until she decided to leave with some new guy, I grabbed ahold of the couch trying to haul myself up. I picked up the remote turning off the television.
Limping towards the upstairs bathroom, I used the railing to help me get up the steps ever so carefully.
I hated life, was this my punishment for being born? Was I not meant to be happy? Why did everything turn south for me when I don't even try to exist? I just try to get by and it's like life itself is against me. I stopped at the doorway to the bathroom, I shook my head going inside as I closed the door behind me.
I looked at the full body mirror that I bought with my own money, I took off my shirt to reveal new bruises forming over the old ones. I bit my lip as I took off every clothing, revealing myself naked in the mirror. Normally you would see a girl with a perfect body not covered in bruises, but each time a new bruise was found on my body so I don't get that perfect fairy tale. My hair was tied in a pony tail, now a complete mess. I ripped out the tie as I let my brown locks fall to my side.
Disgusting, absolutely disgusting.
I could feel my throat clenching and tears forming in my eyes, don't cry. I don't want to cry, but I couldn't stop it.
Falling to the ground as I pulled my knees to my chest, burying my head inside my arms as I just cried to myself.
I can't take it, I can't take it anymore. Please let me find happiness...someone please just save me..
*
"Good morning class, I would like to introduce someone to you, he's a foreign exchange student from Japan." I looked up to the front of the class to see our English teacher excitedly talking about the new guy. "Well technically he just moved here from japan so he's not really a foreign exchange student but he is but he's living here now! Come introduce yourself honey."
I looked over to see an average tall guy with brown wavy hair, brown doe like eyes and beautiful glistening tan skin. He had a beauty mark, a mole in other words, right at the corner of his mouth. He was wearing black jeans, they sort of looked skinny but also they didn't, and a pink sweater that had a girl crying. It reminded me of myself in the bathroom last night, and above it had the words "save me.."
I don't know why but I felt so intrigued by the guy. He smiled at the classroom, his black bag hanging off his shoulder like it would fall any second. "Hi I'm Kuroo..Sorry I forgot you introduce yourself by your first name first." He said chuckling.
His English was perfect but he had an accent, it wasn't a strong accent but you could tell english wasn't his first language. But he spoke it perfectly, his voice sounding exactly like honey. "My name is Jae Kuroo, please treat me nicely!"
After he said that, his eyes landed on me and I felt myself froze in my seat. His smile fading away as he just looked at me. "Okay Jae, go pick a seat."
He nodded as he walked right to where Oliver was sitting. "Can I sit here?" Jae asked flashing a smile.
Oliver hesitated before he got up, moving to the empty seat behind Kayla. Jae turned to face me. "Hi I'm Jae, wanna be friends?"