"Bai He," Ari called out to me as we stood in the hallway after having our dessert. It was late already and we had a radio show tomorrow (thanks to our manager for reminding us at the last minute).
I glanced back at her. She was holding hands with Kai and believe it or not, I wish I could've pulled them apart...
"Can I have a word with you?" She asked.
I looked at Kai, he looked at Ari and she nodded before letting go of his hand. Kai walked towards me, placed a hand on my shoulder, and said, "I'm calling Uber." He left the house and closed the door behind him.
Ari walked to the empty living room and I followed her. She seemed a bit tensed and I couldn't understand why. She sat on the couch and gestured me to sit beside her. I sat near her (of course, leaving an arm's distance between us) and asked, "What's up?"
She turned to me. "Thank you..."
I frowned slightly. "For?"
"For everything. For not lying again to mom. For accepting the truth."
I looked away. "Yeah."
"And I'm sorry."
I tried not to look at her. Because if I did, then...
"I'm sorry that I couldn't give you the same feelings that you have for me."
I chuckled stiffly. "I don't need your pity, Ari." I looked at her and her expression appeared regretful. I realized that my tone was a bit harsh but I couldn't help it. It's the first time I'm feeling so many emotions at once. Angry, frustrated, inclination...
"You're right," She said. "You don't. I'm sorry." She got up, her face was taut and it didn't take me long to perceive that she was furious. I hastily grabbed her wrist and stopped her from walking away.
"I didn't mean to get annoyed..." I said softly.
She looked down at me and sighed. "FYI, it was you who created this mess. Not me so basically, you don't have the right to get angry at me."
"Correct," I nodded. "I don't. I'm sorry and I accept the fact that you're now Kai's..."
I couldn't say the word 'girl-friend' directly. It felt weird but it also pained to join those words together. I wish I had met Ari first...Oddly, I wish I was Kai.
I let go of her hand and got up.
"But..." Ari uttered. "We will still be friends, right?"
Friends, huh?
Perhaps I can live with that...
But how could I?
I can't even look her properly in the eyes now.
Will I be able to stay just as 'friends' with her?
She waited for my answer and I had no idea what to say.
Maybe I should lie again.
I'm good at lying and hiding my true feelings.
Yes, I'm good at it...
"Yeah, we will still be friends." I smiled and I could tell that she didn't grasp the pain in my eyes.
I'm definitely good at lying...
I stayed up all night, just staring at the ceiling and recalling the time I had spent with Ari.
Well, for one, I don't have to pretend to be Kai anymore. And for two, at least it's a happy ending for Kai.
I agree that it was all my fault, but love does make you do such things, doesn't it?
So you can't really blame me for the things I did.
I might not be able to talk to Ari or even face her,
maybe I should run back to China before the members wake up...
Ugh, what am I even thinking...?
I will just sleep and wake up to another new and beautiful day!
Yes, all I gotta do is forget whatever happened and be positive like I always am.
Fingers crossed, the members won't try and remind me of the days gone by.
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After the radio show, we left for China the very night. It was actually pretty sudden since we did plan on staying for a few more days, but because of our comeback which is going to be in a few months from now, we had to cut our trip short.
Obviously, I didn't stay behind to say goodbye to Ari and went inside the airport before I could see her face and blurt something I shouldn't be blurting. A few other members followed me as well and in conclusion, we waited for Kai and the manager.
The others were talking something and I wanted to join in on the conversation but I ended up watching Ari and Kai from the windows.
They talked, they laughed and they hugged each other.
Kai was in incognito so no one really recognized him.
Although, he should still be careful...You never know when the Dispatch people would click and leak the pictures...
Kai then kissed Ari's forehead and rushed to the entrance with the manager.
I cleared my throat and turned to the members.
"Everyone here?" The manager asked.
"Yes!" We uttered in unison and everyone followed him to the counter; except me.
I looked back at Ari and saw her standing there, staring right at me...or so I thought because as far as I know, you can't look inside from outside, right?
But unexpectedly, she waved at me and I couldn't make out if she was waving at me or at someone else but her gaze was fixed on me so I think maybe the windows were transparent.
I waved back and she looked so happy that I wish I could capture her face right this instant.
She wouldn't stop waving and neither could I.
I know it was childish, but It felt good to know that she was only looking at me now.
"Bai He! Bai He!" Teng Min called out to me and I looked at him. "Come on! Who are you waving at?!"
"Uh...No one..." I looked at Ari and she had stopped waving. Just then, a group of people suddenly came in between me and Ari. I tolerantly waited for them to pass and when they did, Ari was gone. She wasn't standing there anymore. She had left and I think that was a good thing because if she had been standing there even now, I probably wouldn't have left my spot.
"Bai He, everyone's waiting!" Teng Min yelled irately.
"Coming!" I hurried to Teng Min who was already walking towards the counter.
Anyway, at least I got to see Ari for one last time before I leave my miserable feelings in L.A.