"So, is this your first time in Shanghai?" He asked. We were walking next to each other. Our elbows were just inches away from touching.
"Yeah," I answered plainly.
Now that I think about it, I and Cherry are leaving to L.A the day after and we haven't even seen Shanghai yet. I wonder if she's mad at me for that since we did plan on going somewhere today.
"So?" He suddenly said.
"Hm...?" I looked at him and he looked back at me.
"Is there any place you want to go?"
Any place I want to go...? There are so many places I want to go in Shanghai. So many streets I want to pass by, so many malls I want to--Oooo, is that a waffle stand? Waffles are tasty with extra whipped cream and--
"Ari," Kai called out and amusingly raised his brows.
"Ah, I'm sorry, I got a little--" But unexpectedly, before I could complete my sentence, he grabbed my hand. His warmth seeped into my nervous veins and calmed them down. However, I realized my eyes widening upon seeing his hand hold mine so delicately. I could feel his creases and bones and I wanted to feel it more by holding it tighter. I was afraid of my heart today. Afraid it would stop at any moment.
"Let's go." He smiled.
Where? I thought to myself but didn't ask. I felt my feet getting dragged by his light pull and I quickly paced with him. There was a mirthful smile playing on Kai's lips and I couldn't help but wonder what's making him so happy?
We abruptly halted and he looked down at me. "You're hungry, aren't you?"
"Eh...?" I impulsively looked behind him and saw the famous breakfast restaurant standing in front of me. "I-I'm not rea--" And damn, my tummy couldn't lie. It growled so loud and deep that it echoed throughout my body.
"Liar." Kai gently tapped his finger on my nose and turned around. He dragged me inside, looked for an empty seat and then dragged me again to a booth.
I felt a big wave of guilt for not listening and answering him before. I mean, I'm way too excited for this date! but if my stomach is empty then it's kinda difficult for me to concentrate and I don't know how he figured that out, but he did...
We both sat across each other. He opened the menu and passed it to me. I embarrassingly took it and scanned the breakfast section.
What should I eat...? Pancakes? Waffles? Crepes? I don't know why but I looked up at Kai and he was looking back at me.
"Did you choose what to eat already?" He asked, slightly surprised.
I nodded even though I didn't choose what I would eat. Just then, the waitress came to us and asked if we would like to have anything. I waited for Kai to order first but he didn't. He glanced back and gestured me to order.
"I would like to have the original pancakes," I said, and the waitress smiled. "Anything for you sir?"
"Nothing." He smiled at her--no, actually at me because he didn't look at her and the waitress left, informing us that she will be back in a few minutes.
His eyes were spellbinding. I could keep staring at them for hours, days, years and this strange feeling in my heart wouldn't change. Nevertheless, when realization hit me hard that this wasn't a dream and that I'm living it, I had to break my contact with him and look down at the plain, boring white table. I could still feel his eyes on me though and I wished that even if it was just for a second, he would look elsewhere. Clearly, he didn't.
I wanted to ask him. Ask him why he was in love with me. Why me? How me? How in the world did he even come to like me so suddenly? That too in a couple days? It's not possible.
I clenched my fists together under the table, took an unnoticeably deep sigh and looked up again to throw at him the questions that didn't strike me yesterday. However, before I could open my mouth to even utter his name, the waitress came back with my plate of hot pancakes. Did she have to be so quick today?! Like how in the world even…?
Nonetheless, I could smell the taste of the syrupy and buttery pancakes already and I felt my mouth salivating. I adjusted myself a little in my seat and just as the dripping pancake was placed in front of me, I dug in wordlessly.
The world around me vanished the second I took the first bite. I was alone in some kind of a white place, eating to my heart's content. Enjoying every bite, every swallow and every other bite that touched my tongue. I also ordered a hot chocolate in the middle of my savoring since these fluffy pancakes were choking me deliciously. My tummy was happier than I was.
I gulped the last of the hot chocolate, placed down the cup and wiped my mouth with a tissue. Man, I was full but it was all worth it—
I looked up from my empty plate and saw him interestingly stare at me. I blinked my eyes a few times. He blinked too, and another wave of guilt washed over me. This time, it was bigger.
How could I forget about Kai like that?! How could I forget that he was sitting right across me, watching me the entire time I was wolfing down on the pancakes! He didn't even say anything!
"You eat well." He snickered.
I smiled demurely.
I hate myself for losing my concentration on him...
I didn't even ask him if he wanted to share with me or not…What would he think of me? That I was selfish! That I didn't care about him at all!
Just then, Kai raised his hand and the waitress came cat-walking to him. I was about to swiftly remove my wallet too because 1) I was the only one who ate breakfast and 2) It's not right for him to pay since we just met and how can I let him pay, right?
But then, I stopped because I thought, 1) But since we are dating, ninety-nine percent of the time, it's the guys that pay on their dates and 2) And maybe he wants to pay because it's our first date and if I stop him, he might feel kinda abominable and I don't want that...
Notwithstanding my silly, unnecessary thoughts, Kai was quick to pay and the waitress already thanked us and left.
If only I didn't waste my time on thinking such things--but wait, do I have my wallet with me...? I touched my back pocket and it was flat.
You know what? Maybe I should let Kai do everything and just stay behind him so that I don't embarrass myself this moment on.
Phew...Glad I didn't say that I would pay...
Should I thank him though? I'm confused, does the girl thank the guy on her date?
Kai got up and I was about to thank him because damn, He's Kai and I can't forget that. Ever. No matter if he's my boyfriend or an Idol. However, unanticipatedly, he placed his wallet in his jacket pocket and placed his hand in front of me.
Whatever I wanted to say to him, disappeared from my mind. I was now just a blank page of paper with no pen for thoughts. His smile shone brightly. Was it always that bright? Was I always so deeply in love with him even if it's just watching him on my tiny screen?
"Is there something else you want to eat?" He asked jokingly.
I shook my head, embarrassment still didn't leave my cheeks--and placed my hand on his. He held it, ever so gently and the two of us got out of the restaurant. My body playfully shivered as he unwittingly intertwined our fingers. My heart jumped once but it felt good. This outlandish feeling that I had never felt before but only had seen in dramas. The feels are real.
"So," Kai spoke after a few minutes of grasping the fresh air. "Where do you wish to go?"
I couldn't answer him because I really didn't know where I would want to go right this instant. There are literally so many places but it's hard to choose one right away.
Of a sudden, Kai paused on his steps and turned towards me. "Are you nervous?" He asked.
"No." I replied.
"Don't be." He said.
"I'm not." I said with a chuckle.
"I know you are and it's okay because I am too, but I really want to spend this day with you and I don't want to leave any regrets for later." His voice was still so melodic in my ears even though the wind, the honking of the cars and the chattering of the passers-by were loud and overpowering.
I nodded assuringly and he gave me his best smile.
"Since you don't know where you want to go, let me take you." He once more started walking and I had to catch up to him again before my feet would get dragged.
I wasn't sure where he was taking me and frankly, I don't care because as long as I'm with him, every corner of the world will be lovely.
"Come quick!" Kai quickly tightened the grip on my hand and we started running. I don't know why or where we were running to, but I just followed him through the bustling crowd of Shanghai. And not long after did I realize that we were catching a bus. And not just a bus, it was Shanghai's tour bus.
"Get in! Get in!" Kai started shouting as we were close to approaching it. He kept me forward but didn't let go of my hand. Eventually, because the bus wasn't fast, we were able to board it.
Kai and I took a slight breather, looked at each other and then laughed proudly for whatever the reason. He took the lead again. We went to the top where the wind strongly blows and where your hands could freeze but you just don't care because it's too much fun to observe the surroundings and just get lost in your thoughts.
There were a lot of empty seats ahead, but Kai decided to sit at the back, so we did. The cold breeze tingled my cheeks, but my hands were warm since it was wrapped in Kai's. He didn't let go of it and I don't want him to.
He sat first near the fencing and then I sat beside him, leaving a fair gap between us. Our clasped hands were between us and I tried to not look at it because if I did, I knew I would turn red again and I didn't want that. I wanted to be normal or at least act like I am normal so that he feels normal too.
Kai pulled out the mp3 from the pocket that was stuck to the side of the bus and tucked on one of the earphones.
"Do you want to hear it?" He asked, and I shook my head with a smile.
For a few minutes he tried adjusting the sound and stuff from the auto recorder, however, he suddenly pulled out the earphone and placed it back where it first was.
I confusedly looked at him. He looked at me back and then said, "I would rather listen to your voice."
I couldn't help but stare at him. I had no idea what I was thinking but I did comprehend that by each passing second, I was falling deeper and deeper in love with him. Into a dark hole that wouldn't let me back out.
Kai soon averted his eyes from mine and looked to the side at the random stores that were passing by quicker in my perspective. I wished the bus would go even slower so that I could spend more time with him. And I wished I could've stopped this moment because it looked too perfect. "Oh, look! Milkshake-factory! I want to try one of those." He said. I tried to look down as well, but I couldn't see anything except the huge billboards.
The air blew my hair in different directions and I had to hold it to the side with my free hand. "It's nice up here." He commented.
"It is." I said, and he looked at me. I slightly frowned in a confused manner and he chuckled.
"You aren't nervous anymore."
"I told you, I'm not nervous."
"You were." He accused.
"I wasn't." I said confidently.
And then, suddenly, he placed his face just inches closer to mine and said, "Fine, you weren't." I could clearly see his glass and glow of his iris. The veins surrounding it and his eyelashes that were curled up. But I could also feel his smirk idling away on his lips.
I quickly glanced to the side and lightly exhaled.
Why does he do such things so unexpectedly...?
My heart pounded, and I didn't know where to look at to calm myself down. Wherever I turn my face to, the only thing I see in front of me is Kai! Even though I AM with him! Why can't I still believe that this is all happening? That I'm not mental and I'm not going to a psychiatrist because this is legitimate.
I felt him looking elsewhere and not me, so I turned my head to the side to look at the view if there was any I could capture. However, as the bus took a sharp left turn, my body unexpectedly began sliding towards Kai. I didn't have the time to hold on to something and not long after did I realize that I was way, way, way close to him. I could feel the hardness of his body behind me and I was too embarrassed and conscious of looking behind at him.
"S-sorry--" I struggled to get back to my place, but he stopped me...He placed his hand on my waist and pulled me closer to him.
This time, I shot my gaze at him in utter surprise and this time, he didn't look at me. He supported his head on his other hand and just admired the city.
"Yifan would like these types of clothes." He would say often. "I want to bring Dai Ah here," or, "The members would like this place a lot." But never once did he turn to look at me and never once did he let go of me.
The bus came to a halt and the half-hour tour that felt like nothing but a twinkling of an eye, ended.
The two of us got down. I was the first one to get down and I don't know what had gotten into me but without thinking, I placed forth my hand in front of Kai who was about to get down. However, what disappointed me just a little was that he didn't see my hand and walked a few steps ahead of me.
I casually ran my hands through my hair to hide the awkwardness and moved towards him. As I got near, he unthinkingly held my hand and paced forward.
"Where are we going now?" I asked.
"No idea." He said.
It was pretty fun to just walk without having any direction in mind. So many streets looked so different. I had no clue where we were but I hoped he did.
We were just walking and walking, silently, with tangled hands and unknown thoughts when out of the blue, Kai said. "I just want to spend as much time as I can with you."
I looked up at him. His side profile was too sharpening for my delicate eyes. He then glanced at me with questionable eyes. As in he was asking, 'what about you?'
I didn't hesitate to reply. "Me too."
He cracked a simple smile and turned his face to the ground. I stared at him for a few seconds or maybe minutes (I don't know, time was passing too fast) and I still don't get it. Why does he love me? What made him love me...?
"Kai." I called out to him.
"Hm?" He hummed but looked straight ahead which was good because I couldn't have asked him the thing I was going to ask him if he suddenly kept staring at me.
"Why do you like me?"
He stopped. I stopped.
"Why I like you?"
"Yes..."
There was no utterance from him for a few good moments. Everything around us turned still like dry leaves. I was getting impatient and nervous, but I waited. I waited for him to collect the words he wanted to say.
However, "Do you want something to drink?" He asked. I confusedly frowned at him. "Let's go and get something to drink." He dragged me to the nearest convenience store and I couldn't understand what he was thinking. He had a normal expression which was good but, I couldn't get him. Nonetheless, I followed him like I did from the start. Perhaps, I shouldn't have asked him, or it just wasn't the right time...
We stopped near the soda racks and Kai was pondering deeply on which one to take. "Sprite? Fanta? Dew...?"
I couldn't hold back any longer and blurted, "Coke!", "Coke." But unexpectedly, at the same time, Kai said the same thing.
He glanced at me in surprise and let out a chuckle before snatching two cans from its place. He paid again (I better thank him in the end) and we got out of the warm store and into the cold street.
He handed me my coke, grabbed my hand, and dragged me to the bench that was lying emotionless near a closed down chocolate store.
We sat. We opened our cans and we took our first sip together. We even let out a faint sigh of happiness. A faint sigh of everything that was bottled up inside us.
And then he spoke, "It was probably around five or six months back that I first saw you."