Things weren't the same after Eden left.
I continued on going the way I had before but everything I did had a different flavour now that I was alone. It was like the world had switched insta filters and it was the exact same pictures I was seeing day-to-day but the colour and mood had somehow shifted.
I remembered that this is what growing up felt like the first time too.
Eden continued to visit on holidays but every time he was a little different, a little older. This wasn't a bad thing. He was still continuing to grow into an amazing person, it was honestly probably good for him to be separated from me in order to really come into his own, but I won't lie, it was a lonely thing to observe.
With every new experience off at the castle, he would change and develop in minute ways. When he visited back home, we still spent every waking moment together but it gave me ample opportunity to see there were now tiny pieces of him I didn't know anymore.
As more time passed, I stopped playing soccer with the boys in town. Or rather, they stopped playing altogether. They were getting older too and had started helping their families out at the market instead. Edgar was learning how to become a baker and remained caught up in his will-they, won't-they relationship with Maddie.
If anything, I became closer to her and the girls in town than with the boys I had grown up with to that point. I wouldn't say we were really 'friends' but we were friendly. The yoga I had introduced to a few women to recover from different muscle pains had caught on after their secondary results started showing of improved posture, muscle toning and the like. My mom also eventually got into it and we held an open, female-only, once-a-week morning session in the south garden of the manor.
I also still had my noble friends who would come over now and again or send invitations to tea parties, but since we all lived apart in different territories, we couldn't meet that frequently.
So yeah, things weren't bad at all, but they were different. As it should be with life.
Seasons past, then years. Before I knew it, it was already time for my tenth birthday and my own coming-of-age ceremony
It was a warm day, as it usually was in Casselia. Winters were always short events given the largely Mediterranean Casselian climate so while I was technically born in early March, we were always pretty far into the country's spring by the time my birthday rolled by.
The manor was bustling with familiar activity as we prepared to leave to the city for my Goddess ceremony. Mom and Dad were taking one last tea on the veranda off their bedroom before we departed and I was sitting on my bed watching Velma pack my clothes for the trip. I had mostly gotten out of wearing fully traditional Casselian clothes when I was just bumming around the mansion. Velma would often force me into wearing them but she sometimes had to concede to my mother who had started to enjoy dressing me up in Sihbarian-wear. Which suited me fine. It meant thinner, looser clothing- AND OCCASIONALLY PANTS.
Regardless, it was hard for anyone to deny I looked better in Sihbarian fabrics. People in Casselia, while they had every imaginable hair colour, only really had one kind of skin tone. Fashion-wise, they were winters and most dresses in the more upper-class stores reflected that. I was a summer, and cold tones didn't look good on me. For my tea party dresses, I always had to buy the fabric first, then bring it to a seamstress. Some famous designers though hated working with my family since they thought the colours repulsive monstrosities upon modern fashion.
Velma had to fish far into the back of my closet to find my more "fashionable" dresses. With my American sensibilities still hanging in the background, it was hard to agree with that adjective. This country truly did not believe less is more. There were a lot of frills, ribbons and faux flowers going into my luggage, not unlike the little orange number I was currently wearing.
She must have seen me giving the dresses the stink-eye because she paused in exasperation and glared at me. "You will be representing the family while you are out," She said. "It is one thing to wear... pants around the house, another to wear them in the capital city. You must at least TRY to look your best."
I learned better than to talk back so I just nodded.
She pulled out my ceremonial outfit and huffed. "Nothing I can do about this, though" she muttered.
When girls visit the temple for their coming of age, they must put on a performance to 'please the Goddess'. The only requirement was we wear white so I chose a Sibharian two-piece.
I had been working on my performance for months in private and if I said that the outfit was necessary for the dance I had prepared, there was nothing Velma could do.
Suitcases packed, we departed in the family carriage.
As we passed the town, people tipped their hats or waved. At this point, I recognized pretty much all of them.
As always, the town gave way to small farming villages, the villages gave way to natural meadows and forest.
The ride was a long one but not nearly as uncomfortable as the first one that I had. I even spent part of the trip napping, curled up on the padded bench with my head on Mom's lap as my parents quietly conversed.
When I woke up, the castle could be seen way in the distance, a massive compilation of bleached white towers and spires atop a cliff over a sparkling ocean.
A weird feeling crunched in my chest at the sight of the familiar deep blue water, although it had never before been seen with these eyes.
"That's the ocean," Father said. "It extends so far it passes the horizon."
"It's beautiful," I said quietly.
The wet wind outside blew into the open carriage windows and through the stray wispies from my ponytail. It reminded me a little too much of home. Well, the other home back on the California coast.
"Your hair got all messed up while you were sleeping," Mom said. "Turn your back to me, I'll fix it."
I complied, still a little bleary with road-sleep and nostalgia. She pulled out my ribbon and my hair fell flat immediately.
"Good luck," I said, quite aware of the ordeal she just got herself into.
She tried to scoop it up without a brush but struggled immensely. I had very fine, incredibly thin silky hair that did not like to be styled. It was a pain as it wasn't necessarily attractive just down since it was so flat on my scalp. The longer it grew, the less flattering it was but it was unthinkable for a noble girl to cut her hair.
"It just won't gather," she complained and presumably glanced at my father, "she got this hair from you."
"You wouldn't be having so much difficulty if she did, you do my hair every morning," he commented.
"Well she certainly doesn't have the coarse curls from my side of the family," she commented.
"Don't worry, she loves my hair," father told me. "She always runs her hands through it when-"
"We hug," Mother interjected sharply. "Your daughter is only turning ten," I heard her whisper urgently to him as she leaned across the seats.
Father did have nice hair. I was a little jealous. He always kept it a little longer than shoulder length and immaculately tied up.
"Careful bragging about your hair too much," I said. "I saw late portraits of Grandfather. You do know male-pattern baldness is a hereditary trait?"
"Watch it," he said, clearly not that mad. "You heard her, you better love it while it's here," he added to my mother.
She sighed heavily but all the same, moved to sit beside him instead to play with the tip of his ponytail absent-mindedly. "Briar, if we fix your hair now, the wind will just ruin it anyway. Wait a bit until we get closer."
"So I can go full dog?" I asked excitedly.
She sighed again, sounding just a little pained. "Never tell Velma we let you do this... or that you call it that."
I stuck my head out the window and closed my eyes to feel to wind on my face. We were close enough to smell the water. If I pretended for a minute, it was just like those road trips down to the various beachfronts with some of my sorority sisters and Becky's dad's convertible. I didn't really love that life more over my current one anymore, but sometimes it's hard not to get lost in familiar memories, even within a single life.
Still, feeling like I was betraying the present a little too much, I opened my eyes and watched in anticipation as the castle town grew slowly larger.
Mother pulled me in after a bit. "Alright, trade carriages are going to be joining up on this road soon. We can't be too unseemly."
She struggled again with my hair until it was finally somewhat presentable just as we entered the city gates.
The town was exactly as what one might imagine a stereotypical medieval castle town. It was like the weekly market back home but likely a daily bustle and twenty times as big. Vendors lined down multiple streets with a far greater selection of assorted wares.
Knights in full armour patrolled the city, bowing to our carriage as we passed.
There was even one of those guys you see in every movie who was in one of those neck-and-wrists wooden shackle planks for petty crimes being publicly humiliated in a small junction of streets.
We made eye contact as the carriage rolled passed and he almost comically twisted his wrists, facing his palms up to the sky in a shrug gesture, as if to say, 'it's a life'.
I nodded knowingly to my fellow mischief-maker.
The ride was very bumpy in town with the wheels jumping over cobblestone. I actually was starting to feel a little sick when we finally rode up to a large, multistory home in the city's heart.
Nobles typically house other travelling nobles as a sign of hospitality. Staying in a hotel would truly be a sign of complete societal rejection.
This house belonged to the Doughty's, a Ducal household, oddly blessed with above-average magic. Their son was about my age and the most powerful magician the family had seen yet but he wasn't around for the visit. Probably off at the castle galivanting around with the rest of the exceptional-boy crew, my brother included.
The Duke and his wife were... likable. They weren't especially outgoing but they had this air of mysticism which was pretty cool, even if it meant they came off as a little aloof.
Over dinner, the Lady of the house questioned me. "You don't seem nearly as nervous as your brother did when he came for his tenth and yet you have a performance to give as a daughter of the Goddess. Do you feel prepared?"
"What happens will happen," I said.
This wasn't my first rodeo in the game of high stakes performances.
"Remember, it is very important the cloth does not touch the ground. It is a sign of purity and your ties to the Goddess; it cannot be soiled by filth."
"I've practiced as much as I can, I'm feeling in good form for tomorrow," I replied.
"Are you using handkerchief or shawl?" She asked.
The ceremonial dance involved using a pure white fabric of one's choosing. The church would play the song of the Goddess on the holy pipe organ but the dances always varied person to person. It was entirely up to the girl who was coming of age to choreograph her own dance to the song. Since learning grace and elegance was a key teaching for women of the upper class, this was sort of like the midterm of life.
The dance would center around a white cloth that was a sort of metaphor for the purity and devotion of our ties to the Goddess. It is said that it is a terrible omen to let the fabric fall.
Honestly, the whole thing is likely superstitious and has no actual bearing on what gift the Goddess awards. After all, Eden had to do a much smaller display of swordsmanship and his sword game is shit, but his powers turned out alright.
I looked at the beautiful woman and smiled. "I'm afraid the details of my performance will have to wait until tomorrow. My parents don't know what I've prepared yet and I'd like to surprise them." Also if they knew what I was planning, I'm not sure they'd be able to sleep tonight. I don't ever play it safe.
"Perhaps we will have to come and watch," she said. "It seems you have something special in mind."
She turned to her husband who had that same 'oh shit' look that modern men have when their wives come home with tickets to the ballet. "Of course. Our family takes great interest in the Goddess ceremony and magic within the new generation."
"Well, I look forward to whatever you have planned. I noticed earlier your walk and posture is well beyond most girls your age, I expect good things from you," she said.
"Well, thank you," I said. "I promise you it won't be like anything you've ever seen before."
We spent the rest of the evening relaxing from our trip. We took a walk sometime after supper through the night market. I bought a beautiful sapphire earring as a souvenir for Eden. I had convinced him on his thirteenth birthday it would be super cool if he pierced one of his ears. Noblemen from Sibhar often pierce both, but I've always thought guys looked really good with the asymmetric piercings and it was a cute nod to him only being half Siberian.
With the promise that the hole would grow in if he didn't like it, he gave it a go. One of the plus side was it meant I got to cut his stupid bowl-cut looking hair he'd had his whole life to complete the look. It was kind of cute when he was five but I didn't want him getting beat up at the castle.
I made sure to give him something much more modern.
The vendor I bought it from was actually from Sibhar and Mother got to chat with him for a while. Father and I walked out to the oceanfront to walk along the wave-rocked docks.
The next morning we were up bright and early- in other words, late for me as I never usually woke up after the sun. The trip in had really taken a toll on my exhaustion.
The servants of the household were sent in to assist me with dressing but to their shock, I had already changed. The concept of me wearing pants to the ceremony had them foaming in the mouth a little but my mother gushed at the simple outfit, complimenting the gold-coloured detailing around the neck and the cuffs of my capris.
I had done the best I could with putting my hair in a high pony but a lot of the front pieces fell out- which honestly made it cuter in my opinion.
"Well," Lady Doughty remarked when she saw me, "you did say your ceremony would be different."
We walked over to the church and I must say, there were a lot of looks. Mostly curious, but some definitely disapproving.
I decided I really like the Doughty's though. They were much more flexible than most nobles. In fact, it was their suggestion that we walked which seemed like a very unusual thing to do even if they lived close. There was something to be said about the magicians that they chose to live in the city even though it was full of common people and it meant they couldn't have a sprawling estate.
The walk was great for me. I jogged a little on the spot as we went, anxious to keep my muscles warm. I had stretched intensively back in my room but there was still a chance of re-stiffening up before I could perform.
My parents must have also become comfortable with the other family because they made no effort to stop me from bouncing around in order to save face with the other adults.
"As magicians, we take the ceremony very seriously," Lady Doughty explained as we walked. "We live near the church so we can constantly renew our pledge to the Goddess."
I could never let this woman know what I had done to our town's tribute those couple of years ago.
The church was gigantic and intensely ornate. It wouldn't be a lie to say it rivalled notre dame with massive story-wide fancy-shaped windows and intricately etched stark white stonework whose rocks obviously came from the same quarry as the stones for the castle.
As we entered, my awe was cut short when I noticed another gaggle of well-dressed people including a very familiar face.
Without explaining I peeled from my group and sidled up next to my only contemporary.
While her family was animated and gushing, she stood oddly steely.
It wasn't nerves, I knew what those looked like. Just quiet anticipation. I suppose she didn't have to wonder what her powers would be.
As she hadn't noticed me join her side, I decided to speak up. "I guess that makes sense that we have the same birthday."
Viola turned to me and looked me over once. "Oh right, it's you."
I guess she hadn't missed me too much over these last five years.