~Nolan~
I leaned against the bathroom counter, overwhelmed by the different thoughts racing through my mind.
"I'm so stupid."
I looked up at my reflection in the mirror and pulled down the hem of my collar, revealing the hickey Reid had left on my body just minutes ago. My face burned just at the thought.
It wasn't like he was doing something I didn't want, and I definitely liked it. The sexual tension between us was killing me at this point, yet I stopped him just because I got a little embarrassed? Nervous? Scared?
I scoffed.
"I'm pathetic."
I wanted to tell him that I didn't mean it, that I wish I could go back and not let my cowardice get the best of me, and that I had feelings for him... but at the end of the day, I was too nervous to have him touch me in the places that would change everything. How could I expect myself to get the courage to say those things?
I remembered Reid's face before he left, he wouldn't look me in the eye. It was as if he felt he'd been led on this entire time. Everything about him showed that he was hurt...
My hands tightened into fists.
I hurt him.
I wasn't leading him on, and I never intended to give that impression. Yet I acted on impulse out of fear, and my actions made him believe different. Reid tends to overthink things. To him, he probably saw it as me telling him I didn't want things to move on any further, that I was done.
Our vacation was almost at it's end, would we have even continued after? Would we go back to being strangers? That's when a depressing thought hit me.
What if this is for the best? Let it have been a fling and nothing more.
That sounded like complete bullshit, even to me, and I'm the one that thought it.
I wasn't used to thinking such morbid thoughts, I've always focused on the bright side. Having such a negative outlook was new to me... I hate it.
I picked up my phone, my thumb hovering over Reid's contact.
Then I realized, my words would only make things worse. What's the use in saying them if my actions couldn't show it?
My teeth clenched in annoyance.
Was I really going to throw away everything I have with him out of something as mundane as fear?
I didn't want to think of a future without Reid's smile, his laugh, his kisses, the way he feels in my arms, or the thousands of different ways he teases me. It didn't matter to me that we hadn't known each other for long, I connected almost instantly with Reid in a way I didn't know was possible.
Did I ruin it all?
I sat on the bed. I was going to wait for him to come back, and come clean.
So I waited, and waited, until almost two hours had passed. I was itching with anticipation.
My phone buzzed in my back pocket, and my heart rate picked up once I saw that it was a text message from Reid.
"Taco or burger"
And just like that, my chest sunk.
My thumbs began to race against the keyboard.
"I'm so sorry. I didn't want you to stop, I know that's what it looks like but I was just scared. I like you, a lot. I hurt you, I feel sick with myself just thinking about it. I care about you so much, Reid. So please don't give up on me."
I stared at the message so hard I thought I'd burn a hole through the screen.
I can't send him this...
I held down on the backspace button until every word had disappeared.
"Taco"
Sent.
I flopped down onto the bed.
I hate myself.
30 minutes later and I was still waiting. What was he doing this whole time?
That's when I heard the door click, and I sat straight up immediately.
"Re-"
"We're hereee!" A woman's voice called out
A girl entered through doorway, she had long blonde hair, freckles, and a short stature. She pushed her sunglasses glasses up so they were on the top of her head.
"Wow, this place is so romantic!"
Her eyes landed on me.
"Oh, you must be Nolan! I'm Claire," she smiled.
Huh?
Soon Griffin entered behind her.
"Hey man, we made it," he saluted.
I opened my mouth, confused.
"Wha-"
Reid entered the room and placed a bag on the coffee table.
"Tacos are in there. I'm gonna shower."
His face was as void of expression as ever.
"Reid!"
He turned, hearing his name.
"I..." I trailed off, not knowing what to say.
"Um, thanks," was all I managed to get out.
Reid eyes looked at me with a hundred different emotions, but one of them was the most obvious: hurt.
And, without a word, he left for the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.
Griffin let out a low whistle.
"What... is this tension?" Claire questioned
I buried my face in my hands, sighing.
"Anyway, ready to get to work?" Griffin asked.
I brought my head up, confused.
"Work?"
"On your van, so we can spend the last night at the other hotel? That's why we're here... didn't Reid tell you?"
I shook my head.
"No, he didn't."
I looked at the bag of tacos.
That's why Reid was gone for nearly 3 hours, he called them up. I scoffed.
"Nolan..." Claire's voice was soft.
"I know we just met, but did something happen?"
My gaze fell into my lap.
"...Yeah, I guess you could say that."
"Are you serious?" Her tone had completely turned around and suddenly turned pissed.
I looked up to see Claire charging for the bathroom before Griffin looped his arms around her, stopping her.
"I'll beat his ass!" She hollered, rolling up her sleeves.
Huh!?
"C-Calm down." Griffin started dragging her away.
"Can't you see what's happening? He's running away! I taught him better than that, let me just talk to him!" Her arms were flailing at this point.
"Claire, he's literally in the shower," Griffin sighed.
"Pfft!" I covered my mouth, trying to stop my laugh.
Their heads turned to me, confused, and Claire stopped her fighting.
"I-I'm sorry!" I laughed, "You're just so different from Reid, it's kinda shocking."
My eyes widened.
"I-I don't mean that in a bad way I-"
Claire laughed, "I know, right?"
She sat down at the coffee table, picked up a taco out of the bag, and unwrapped it.
"People always get confused when they find out Reid and I are friends. To other people he always comes off as cold, calm, and disinterested, and I... well, I can be a little intense." She bit into her taco.
I tilted my head, confused.
"He never seemed that way to me."
Claire froze, immediately stopping her chewing.
She turned to Griffin, and pointed to the door.
"Huh?"
She began to make motions with her hands as if she were shooing him away.
"I got it, I got it. Signal received," Griffin put his hands up in defeat and turned for the door.
"I'll be waiting by the van, Nolan,"
"Okay..."
I look to Claire who was staring at me as if I had a third eye.
"What did you mean when you said Reid never seemed that way to you?" She finally asked.
"Just... that, I guess?"
I rubbed the back of my neck, nervous.
"Sometimes he can seem kind of distant, like he's mentally off in a faraway place... but most of the time, I can tell that he just has a lot going through his head. Sure at times he can be serious, but I think that's just how he copes, and when he really needs it, he'll lean on me for support, and that... makes me really happy."
I picked up a taco and it was immediately taken from my hand.
"My taco-"
"What did you just say?"
"S-Sorry, was that too much?"
"When Reid needs help, he goes to you?" Claire's expression and tone seemed completely dumbfounded.
I thought back to the night when Reid crawled into my bed, shaking. Or when we stayed on the balcony for hours after he told me about his mom, crying.
"Yeah... I guess he does."
"Oh my God..." Claire muttered.
I gave her a confused look.
"Nolan... wait, what's your last name?"
"Uh, West," I answered.
"Okay, Nolan West, you have accomplished what took me 10 years, a whole decade, in under a week. I don't know what happened between you two, but I don't know if Reid has ever opened up to someone so easily in his life. No matter what, you're probably more important to him than you think."
"But-"
"Reid is like a brother to me. In middle school, I had to bother him for months just to get him to say hi to me, when we finally became friends, I knew it was all worth it. When his mom passed, I was the only friend he had, and he still tried to push me away. After that, he didn't let anyone else in, he was more closed off than ever, and when he came out to his dad, I was his only support system."
"I had no idea you guys were so close... thank you. For telling me this, and for being there for him all these years. I'm really glad he had you," I smiled.
"Reid is my family. I'd do anything for him, and if what you say is true, then Reid has finally found someone he felt he could open up to after all these years... I'm asking you, whatever happened, please try to fix it."
I heard the shower nozzle turn off.
"Okay, you can go help Griffin out with the van, sorry if I came on a little strong," Claire smiled sweetly.
"Don't worry about it, and... I'll try my best."
Claire nodded her head and I left to go meet up with Griffin.
~Reid~
Once I heard the door shut, I exited the bathroom, ready to grab my clothes when I was met with a very angry looking Claire.
"We need to talk."