Year 3, Chapter 9
When Arithmancy class ended on Thursday, students couldn't scramble out of the room fast enough. Calista thought darkly that they were probably all in a rush to begin the daunting homework she'd assigned, a complicated chart that would take at least eight hours to finish. Even the prospect of working on it with Amelia did little to ease the strain of so much impending schoolwork, and evidently Amelia felt the same way, because she muttered to Calista as soon as they had left Professor Vector's earshot.
"By the time I finish this homework, it'll be time for O.W.L.s," she said, rolling her eyes.
"It will come along all right once you start it," Penelope said, "You'll see."
Calista snorted. "Yeah, okay. Because that's what usually happens with her homework, right? We're never in the library until bedtime, flipping through the index of the textbook…"
"Oh, that's right, yes we are," Amelia cut in.
"It's awfully rich of you two to complain," Percy said sanctimoniously, "As you've essentially each only been doing half the work."
"Shut up, Percy," Amelia said cheerfully, as the four of them exited the classroom. "If I want someone to scold me, I'll write my mum."
"Calista," Percy said, choosing to ignore Amelia, "Don't forget, you've got to get a mouse to practise badgering on for next Tuesday…"
"Speaking of scolding," Calista muttered. She caught sight of Marcus then, lurking across the hall from the Arithmancy classroom. He caught her eye, with a small smile.
"Try not to let the next one loose in the library," Percy added.
Calista rolled her eyes. "I did that one time."
"Yes, and Madam Pince still hasn't forgiven me, even though I had nothing to do with it - Can I help you?"
This last bit was directed at Marcus, who had crossed the hall and was sort of hovering near them, uncertainly. Percy's tone hadn't been quite hostile, but it hadn't been particularly friendly, either.
Marcus scowled at Percy. "No. I'm not here to talk to you, I'm here for Calista."
"Percy's just reminded me," Calista said to Marcus, "I haven't got a mouse to practise on."
"You're not going to practise badgering now?" Percy asked, slightly alarmed, "With him?"
"Yes, I am," Calista said, at the same time Marcus said, "Yeah, she is."
"Is there a problem with that?" Marcus continued, and Calista was surprised that his tone was unfriendly, even a little aggressive. She hadn't heard him talk like that, except perhaps about the opposing Quidditch team just before a match.
Percy exchanged a look with Penelope, and then looked back at Calista, even though it was Marcus who had challenged him.
"Well," he said, a bit hesitantly, "It's just… badgering is awfully dangerous if it's not done correctly. Don't you think it would be more - ah, prudent - to wait until you can practise with someone who's -"
"I know how to turn something into a badger," Marcus cut in, glaring at Percy. "Should I prove it by turning you into one?"
"Perhaps Percy is right - ow!" Penelope began, but Amelia stepped on her foot. "Amelia, what -?"
"I think we need to go, Penny," Amelia said, firmly. "Perce, you too, we have to… uh, we have to study for that thing, remember?"
"What are you…?" Penelope said, looking at Amelia with a furrowed brow. Amelia took Penelope by the elbow, and made a grab for Percy too, hooking his sleeve. She started to pull them away, and she whispered something to Penelope, which Calista couldn't hear.
She could hear Penelope's surprised "Oh!", as she glanced back over her shoulder at Calista, but then Amelia dragged both of them down the corridor as quickly as she could.
Calista groaned inwardly. Was she really so obvious about her feelings for Marcus that Amelia could tell? And now Penelope knew, too… and Percy. What if Marcus knew? She looked up at him, trying to read his expression.
He looked a little annoyed, but when Calista met his gaze, he shook his head. "We don't need a mouse," he said, "The spell works the same on pretty much anything, a mouse is just the easiest. We could use an insect, or something. I bet I could find one in one of the corridors somewhere."
"Oh," Calista said, shifting her books to one arm, and reaching into her pocket. "I still have one of the buttons I Transfigured - could I use a beetle, if I changed it back?"
Marcus nodded. "Yeah… I think so. So… the library, then? Or we could try to find an empty classroom."
Calista considered. Did she want to be in an empty classroom with Marcus? She did… and she didn't. What if she said something stupid? But then, she could do that anywhere, it didn't have to be in an empty classroom...
"Er, well, there shouldn't be anyone in the Arithmancy room," Calista said, looking over her shoulder at the doorway she'd come through only a moment ago. "Unless Professor Vector is still in there, but I think she goes into her quarters after class."
"Yeah, we can check…"
Calista stepped back to the classroom and poked her head in, but Professor Vector was indeed still in the classroom, looking over some papers on her desk. Calista ducked back out before the professor noticed her, and shook her head at Marcus.
"Nah, she's still there," she said quietly, "Let's go to the library, before she decides to give me extra homework, or something."
She wasn't sure if she was relieved or disappointed to be going somewhere they wouldn't be alone, and she couldn't tell what Marcus thought of it, either. Probably he had just wanted to avoid the library - she knew it wasn't exactly his favourite place.
They went into the library anyway, which had one other pair of students studying in the far corner. Madam Pince kept looking in their direction suspiciously, even though Calista recognized them both as Ravenclaw Prefects who were hardly likely to start, say, releasing mice in the library. She redirected her glare to Calista and Marcus when they entered.
They sat down at a table that wasn't particularly close to either the librarian's desk or the other occupied study table, and Calista set her books down, opening her Transfiguration book to the proper chapter. She fished in her pocket for the button, while Marcus fingered the corner of her Arithmancy book.
"So this stuff's pretty hard, right?" he asked, and Calista looked up, setting the button down on the table.
"Arithmancy? Yeah, I guess so. I mean, it's a lot of homework, but it's interesting."
"Loads of Ravenclaws in your class," he said, "And you, and that Weasley. Must be for really clever people."
"I guess," Calista said again, pointing her wand at the button. She tried to change it back, but nothing happened the first time.
"So you usually study with Weasley, then?"
Calista waved her wand again, and the button changed into a beetle. She cast her Freezing Charm on it before it scuttled away.
"Well, yeah," Calista said, "He's my 'peer tutor', McGonagall said I had to have one."
"She assigned you to work with him, then?"
"Well, she let me pick," Calista said, "From a list. And I sure as hell didn't want to work with Olivia, so I chose Percy."
Marcus frowned, though Calista couldn't begin to guess why. She hoped he wasn't about to give her grief for being friends with a Gryffindor. She got enough of that from Olivia and her minions.
"So… so it's like this, right?" Calista said, waving her wand and pointing it at the frozen beetle. She cast the incantation, and nothing happened.
She tried a few more times, but the beetle just sat there stubbornly, refusing to be anything but a beetle.
"So I guess you'll be hanging out with your Arithmancy friends this weekend, at Hogsmeade," Marcus said, "Weasley, and those Ravenclaws."
"I don't know, I guess so," Calista said, a flash of annoyance hitting her. "What do you care, anyway?" she challenged, "You'll be meeting up with Endria, won't you?"
Marcus furrowed his brow, confused. "I don't know," he said. "Maybe, I guess. If I run into her."
Calista tried the spell again, but she was angry now, and she knew it wasn't helping. Stupid Endria… she wished the other girl was here right now, so she could turn her into a badger… Good luck going out on a date with Marcus then, Endria she thought savagely.
Marcus drew his own wand suddenly, and aimed it at Calista's beetle. It turned into a badger, one that could only blink mournfully at them, still contained by Calista's Freezing Charm.
"There," Marcus said, "Tell all your clever friends I can too turn things into badgers."
"Yeah, and I can't," Calista snarled. "Thanks for reminding me. I'm…"
And then Endria, of all people, strode into the library, and started asking Madam Pince about a book.
"That's it," Calista said, picking up her things quickly. "I'm going. You… you can deal with the stupid badger, since you're the expert."
She left Marcus behind, looking wounded and more than a little confused. She swept past Endria, who called after her, in a puzzled voice.
"Calista? What's wr-"
"Shut up," Calista said flatly over her shoulder. She hurried down the corridor, away from both of them.
(¯ˆ·.¸¸.·ˆ¯)
Saturday morning, Severus sat in his office, waiting for Calista to come for her Occlumency lesson. He opened his desk drawer, and took out the picture she'd drawn him for Christmas. He'd been meaning to hang it in his study, or perhaps in the small kitchen in his quarters, but he hadn't gotten around to it yet.
At least, that was the excuse he gave himself, for keeping it in his desk instead, where he seemed to pull it out to look at between classes several times a day. It seemed at once long ago and just the other day that Calista had been as small as she was in the picture, learning to make her first potion.
He wondered if the picture was supposed to take place before she snarled at him for correcting her, or after. Surely it had to be one or the other, because she'd begun snarling at him as soon as she'd begun speaking to him. These days, she snarled a little less, but she also spoke to him a little less, and he wasn't sure if he thought the trade-off was worth it.
Of course, they had Occlumency lessons, but… back then, before she was a student, she'd spent the whole every weekend with him, and every evening besides. Even in her first year, she'd taken a lot of her meals with him, and of course he'd gotten to see her in more than a few detentions, as well.
Now, though… well, he saw her on Saturdays, while he was teaching her Occlumency, and he caught glimpses of her at dinner and during other times of the day. He saw her in Potions class, but he could hardly have a conversation with her in front of the entire class of third year Slytherins. She didn't come by for no reason much anymore, at least not when he was actually free.
She did come to his office with some regularity when he was busy teaching other classes, to leave her wretched little cat drawings… ah, but if he was being honest, didn't he check his drawer every time he came in, to see if she'd left another one? He wondered if she knew he'd been saving them, in the locked second drawer of his study desk.
He supposed he ought to have been pleased that he hadn't had to give her a detention - in fact, no one had this year, which still surprised him more than it should have - but at least back then, he'd felt a strong sense that she needed him, needed his guidance as well as his understanding.
Now, it didn't seem like she needed much from him - Occlumency lessons, that was true, and he still gave her an allowance, but… he'd almost been relieved when she'd woken him up from a sound sleep at the Malfoys', calling to him because of one of her nightmares. But then, he'd found out that she hadn't been telling him about them, which made him both anxious and a little hurt.
He'd expected, too, that she would need more of his help finding and removing Bellatrix's anchors, but once he'd shown her how, she'd been remarkably quick to find the rest. He'd even thought that she might need his help ultimately expelling those traces of Bellatrix they'd found in her mind, but she'd managed to do it herself, and without even depleting her barriers.
He had always expected that he'd need to keep teaching Calista Occlumency until sometime after she finished at Hogwarts, but she'd been improving rapidly since the end of last school year, more rapidly than he'd initially anticipated when he'd begun teaching her. He wondered, now, if she would reach the limit of what he could teach her before she graduated… and what would he teach her, then?
He'd complained good-naturedly (he thought) about sacrificing his Saturday mornings to teach her, something which she played at not even being grateful for, but the truth was he enjoyed it; enjoyed teaching her, and enjoyed spending the time with her.
He'd wanted, from the day he had discovered her, terrified and distant, to give her the support and the tools she needed to become brave, strong, independent, academically accomplished… and now she was becoming all of those things, far sooner than he had expected her to, and she had let herself begin to trust more and more people, and suddenly he found himself feeling like little more than a background character in her life.
His reverie was interrupted by the turning of the knob to his study door. He shoved the drawing hastily back into his desk, and closed the drawer, as his daughter entered the office.
"So what do I have to do today?" she asked, "Fight a dragon at the edge of a cliff, while you make sure I'm still keeping my barriers intact?"
"I was thinking we'd work on maintaining your defences while we converse."
"Oh, so I was right, then," she teased. Severus' lip curled, even though if he were being perfectly honest, he was mildly amused at having walked right into her joke.
He motioned her into his study, and they sat opposite each other in the pair of armchairs that were there; the same ones they'd sat in weeks ago, when he'd taught her to remove Bellatrix's anchors from her mind.
He waited until she was settled in her chair, and then sent a tendril of thought towards her, pushing against her first barrier.
"Have you decided what you're going to do with the letter of Miss Avril's that you found?" he asked.
"No small talk with you," Calista observed wryly, "I… no, I haven't, not really. I mean, I guess I'm going to tell Aunt Narcissa about it, but…"
She paused, concentrating on holding him back from breaching her first barrier; it was easier to hold it longer when she focused her attention on it.
"But?" He prompted, pushing against the mental wall.
"Uhm," she said, trying to divide her concentration between the conversation and the attack on her internal defences. "But I still don't… I don't want to tell anyone about her, and I'm afraid it will come out if I…"
He slid through her first barrier, and approached the second. Calista swallowed.
"If I start anything with Olivia."
She tried something she hadn't before, tried funnelling the strength from her first barrier into her second; she had been channelling the strength from the first two, once they fell, into her third, but she had never tried reinforcing the second one once the first was down.
"I thought you'd realised it was going to come out eventually, anyway," Severus said, forcing his way through her second barricade before she had finished reinforcing it. "That's a good tactic, by the way," he told her, "But you must be quicker about it."
"I'm trying," she growled, feeding the energy from both walls into her third barrier now. This, she was practised at, and she managed to reinforce it before Severus had pushed through, but she could feel him about to breach it; she closed her eyes, trying to remember what he had taught her, drawing more of her reserves into the mental barricade to fortify it.
"Open your eyes," he prodded, and then, once she had done so, "How are your Transfiguration lessons coming?"
"Erm… okay, I guess. I'm still stuck on badgering."
"Look at me," he reminded her, "It's obvious you're resisting an attack when you look away like that."
"Speaking of badgering…" she muttered, but obeyed.
He passed through her final barrier, it having been made marginally easier by eye contact. Still, there was no denying that she was getting stronger, seemingly by the lesson.
"Again," he said, giving her only a few seconds to recover and reassemble her trio of barriers. The second time, after he had gone through her first barrier, she was able to reinforce the second before he breached it, and it took him longer to pass through all three of her mental walls as a result.
"How is badgering going?" he asked, ignoring her smart comment, "Have you managed it yet?"
"No…"
Calista's mind flashed back to her most recent study session with Marcus… she hadn't managed it, had only managed to get herself upset… she pushed that thought hurriedly to the back of her mind, pushed every thought about Marcus she could find as far beneath all of her other memories as she could. Had he noticed? Oh gods, she hoped not.
"Erm," Calista said, hastily changing the subject, "That book you gave me for Christmas, I have a… I have a question about it. Does the same charm behave two different ways, if used with differing intents?"
Severus paused, considering her question. He hadn't expected her to turn the conversation back on him, and he noted that it had given her a few seconds to reinforce her barriers.
"Good," he murmured, approving of the tactic. "Precisely what do you mean by 'differing intents'?
"Like… like a Severing Charm," she said, "If you use it on, say, a piece of fabric, you can sew it back after. But if you… if you try to use it on someone, like a curse, will it leave a scar?"
"Yes," he answered, "Any spell which is used with the intent to cause injury will leave a scar."
"What if you were trying to cast it on a piece of cloth, but you missed and hit someone by accident?"
"The effects are variable," he said, slipping through her third barrier, despite the reinforcement she'd managed to give it, while he was answering her question. "It may leave a scar, particularly if the caster is angry, or bears ill will toward the unintended target. Or, you may be lucky, and the cut inflicted by it may be able to be cured with a healing spell or potion."
He gave her a second to reinforce her defences, and then attacked the first barrier again.
"Does the caster's proficiency with Charms influence the outcome?" she asked.
"Ah, yes, but not in the way you might expect. If one is particularly skilled in casting charms, it is possible to control the potency of a particular spell - so if you are cutting a bolt of fabric in a room where you know your spell may miss and hit another person, you could potentially assign the spell a strength consistent only with cutting fabric - a bit like using dulled scissors, I suppose."
He cut through her second barrier, and approached the third as she rapidly reinforced it.
"Of course, if your intention was to cause injury," Severus said, "There are several spells better suited to that than a standard Severing Charm."
"Like what?"
"Well," he said, "Think about what you are trying to accomplish. In your case, you would be using Dark magic only to subdue your attacker long enough for you to escape-"
"Are we sure about that?" she asked, smirking. Severus knew she wasn't serious, but he corrected her sternly, anyway.
"Yes, we are," he said, slipping through her final barrier again. "And if you think to forget it, I won't teach you."
"I was joking," she said, but Severus cut her his best no-nonsense glare as she rebuilt her defences.
"Dark magic is not a joking matter," he said, his voice quite serious. "Perhaps I was mistaken. Perhaps you are not old enough…"
"Dad, come on. I'm not going to go around cursing people. I promise."
"As I was saying, then," Severus said, as they went through the same exercises again, "A Severing Charm does not present the best opportunity for you to escape, as it doesn't inflict particularly deep wounds, even when used offensively. You'd want to use something that would momentarily stun your opponent."
"Like a stunning spell?"
"That is the answer your Defence Against the Dark Arts textbook would give you," he said, with the hint of a sneer, "However, in my opinion, it is wise to have a variety of spells in your arsenal, rather than always depending on the same one."
"So… I shouldn't use a stunning spell?"
"There are certain situations where it may be appropriate. However, it's worth noting… Among certain practitioners of Dark magic, a penchant for resorting to stunning spells in a duel is considered an indication of a subpar duelist, one who is afraid to use real magic."
"Certain practitioners?" she asked, keenly. "You mean Death Eaters?"
"Yes," Severus said, silkily. "That is precisely what I mean."
There was a heavy pause, and then Severus leaned back in his chair, withdrawing from Calista's mind.
"Our lesson is finished, by the way."
She exhaled, and relaxed her shoulders, betraying the tension she'd been under, trying to block his intrusions.
"So what other spells should I learn, then? Levicorpus? Expulso? The Fiendfyre Curse?"
Severus raised his eyebrows. "Those spells are not in the book I gave you."
"Seriously?" Calista countered, meeting his gaze directly. "You know I'm friends with seventh years, you've been telling the Malfoys all along that you're already teaching me Dark magic, and I know you don't actually believe I only read the books you've specifically given me. You can't seriously be surprised that I've heard of a few curses."
"More than a few from the sounds of it," Severus said, "And I never said I disapproved."
"I - wait." Calista looked perplexed. "You don't?"
"I've always encouraged your academic pursuits, and you know that I believe an understanding of the Dark Arts is essential to learn proper Defence. Why haven't you ever told me you were interested in studying them?"
"Er," Calista said, "Because I thought I'd be in trouble, obviously."
She looked as though she couldn't quite believe that she wasn't, already.
"There's nothing wrong with studying anything," Severus said, "Anyone who tells you otherwise is afraid of their own lack of self-control."
Calista took this in, and then settled into the position she usually did when she wanted to be comfortable, with her legs drawn up underneath her. "I should have asked you about this stuff ages ago, then," she said.
"What other Dark spells are you aware of?" he asked, curiously. How long had she been studying these things? Or did she remember them from witnessing Bellatrix use them, when she was small?
"Serpensortia," Calista said, "Expulso, Flagrante, Confringo. The Entrail-Expelling Curse, I know what it does although I don't know the incantation. The Thief's Curse, the Tongue-Tying Curse. Then there are all the lesser ones, Locomotor Mortis, Petrificus Totalus, Reducto, those ones. The Slug-Vomiting Charm, although that one is in the book you gave me. And of course I know about the Unforgivable Curses, from her."
"Please," Severus said, "Tell me you haven't been writing about all of those in your essays for Professor Flitwick."
"Of course I haven't," Calista said, almost scornfully. "I'm not daft. I know I'm not supposed to know about all those spells. Besides, I… it's not like I've ever cast any of them. I don't even know if I could."
"I'd advise you to continue to keep your studies secret, from anyone but myself," he said. "I may have a few books I can lend you - if you haven't already read them without my permission," he added, with a touch of annoyance. "Permission I would have gladly given you, had I been asked."
She at least had the grace to look contrite, and that softened him a little. He glanced at the clock in his study.
"I believe most of your peers are already in Hogsmeade," he said, "I assume you'd like to join them, while there are still a few hours left?"
Normally, Calista would have been anxious for her lesson to end so she could join her friends, but today, her mind flashed back to the argument she'd had with Marcus about Hogsmeade. She didn't think she could stand to run into him and Endria there. She wondered if he'd be making those stupid eyes at her, the ones Olivia used to make at Colin Greengrass, and now made at Derek Logan instead.
"I'd rather just stay here, talking to you, if that's okay," Calista said.
Severus regarded her for a moment, and then he rose, and perused the bookshelves in his study.
"Of course you may stay," he said, and he wondered if she had any idea how pleased her question had made him, in light of his earlier musings. "Let me find you those books now, then."
After a few minutes, he plucked a book off the shelves, and handed it to Calista.
The Nature of Curses, it was called, and it appeared to be about just that. When Calista glanced at the table of contents, it looked like it had most of the curses Calista had just mentioned, and a few others besides, identified by various categories, such as Mobility-Impairing, and Blood-Drawing.
He continued to peruse his bookshelves, and after another minute, pulled another volume down and handed this one to her, too.
"Guide to Advanced Occlumency?" she asked, surprised. "Am I… am I nearing an advanced level, then?"
Severus smirked. "Calista… you've been practising 'advanced' Occlumency since you were eleven."
"What? I have?"
"Multilayered defences," Severus said, "Shifting the order of your memories around when under attack - yes, I've noticed you do that, though I try not to look at what they are - redirecting emotional responses to memories other than the one they originate with… All of those things are considered advanced."
"They are? What's basic Occlumency, then?"
"Shutting down your emotions," he said, "Hiding your memories behind a single wall."
"But I… I did that when I was six."
"You did," Severus agreed, "Although not always with conscious effort. The problem with basic occlumency is that it only protects you from basic attacks, or attacks that are carried out from a great physical distance away. Furthermore, it appears that occlumency works differently between people who are closely related by blood, as well. I can infiltrate your mind quite easily, or I could before I began training you in advanced tactics, and it seems that Bellatrix shares the same advantage."
Well, it appeared to him that Bellatrix had an even greater advantage in this realm than he did, but he didn't see how he could explain that to her, without disclosing the memory that he did not think she was ready to reacquire, and without terrifying her into having another nightmare.
"So… so how good am I, now?" she asked, "In relation to, you know, the average occlumens, or whatever."
"There is no average occlumens," Severus said, "Or average legilimens, for that matter. It's a very obscure and difficult branch of magic, and not many people bother to learn it. As for how accomplished you are, I can only relate it to your goal, which is to be safe from Bellatrix and, should it ever come to it, the Dark Lord. In this regard, you are not accomplished enough."
"I'd have to be ridiculously accomplished to ever be able to keep the Dark Lord out of my mind, wouldn't I?"
She sounded daunted, uncertain that it was a goal she could reach; he wondered if he should tell her that it was likely Bellatrix would ultimately be the more difficult one to guard against, given the trifecta of their shared blood, the scars on Calista's back, and the fact that Bellatrix had already occupied her mind once before, and understood its layout.
He settled for telling her another truth instead. "You will need to become one of the top three Occlumens in the world."
"Who are the other two?"
"Albus Dumbledore," he said, "And myself."
"I'm never going to be that good," she said, "It's impossible."
"Ah, not quite," Severus corrected her. "It will be exceedingly, unfathomably, frustratingly difficult. For you, though, I believe it will fall just short of impossible. I would suggest you start by reading that book."
She ran her fingers over the embossed title on the cover; Severus' sharp eyes did not miss the way she lingered over the word 'advanced', and he had to suppress a smile. Sometimes he forgot how very like him she actually was.
"One more thing," he said, "For obvious reasons, you are not to remove those books from my quarters. You must come here to read them."
Calista flashed a sly, crooked little smile at him. "Ha! You miss me. You're just trying to get me to spend more time with you, aren't you?"
"You know," he said, affectionately, "That may well be the case, you precocious little brat."
Her smile transformed into a full-wattage grin. "I love you too, Dad."
(¯ˆ·.¸¸.·ˆ¯)
When Calista returned to the Slytherin common room, an hour or so before the rest of the third year and above students were scheduled to return from Hogsmeade, she was in good spirits. She had been bolstered by her father's appraisal of her occlumency skill, and by the fact that she had been given permission to read two new books that both seemed very interesting to her.
Being able to admit that she was studying Dark Magic - though of course, she was not casting it - was a bit of a relief, too. Now she supposed she didn't need to worry that he would find out about the book Kim had given her for Christmas.
If she was being honest, she was also pleased with one other aspect of her conversation with her father; it seemed they'd returned to their customary affectionate banter, and that was something she was far more comfortable with than heartfelt conversations like the one they'd had in his kitchen a few months back.
It had been hard, then, to say how she felt - but for some reason, when he was looking at her like he wanted to hug her and strangle her simultaneously, and calling her a miserable brat, or something like it - for some reason, then, it was easy for her to tell him she loved him. She supposed it reminded her of the way their relationship had been, several years ago, when she'd first begun to trust him.
She had these things on her mind when she entered the Slytherin common room. It was fairly empty, because most of the older students were still at Hogsmeade. She glanced around to see if Sofia or Eva were about, but it didn't appear as if they were, there were only a couple of Olivia's favourite second years, and that first-year boy Alex, and -
And Marcus Flint. He was hunched over a sheaf of paper, bent over it with intense concentration while he wrote something on it. She was so surprised to see him in the common room then, that she forgot she was cross with him, and went over to him, trying to get a look at what he was writing - or drawing, as it turned out. It appeared to be some kind of diagram, with a scattering of x's placed inside a large oval.
"Hey," she said, "Did you come back from Hogsmeade early?"
"Huh?" Marcus looked up, and registered surprise at seeing her. His expression transitioned into uncertainty, next, and he shook his head. "No, I… decided not to go."
"Why not?"
"I dunno, I just didn't feel like it… what are you doing here, I thought you'd gone, with your friends from that class."
"No," she said, "I had extra lessons with my dad, and I didn't feel like bothering afterwards. So… what's that you're drawing?"
"Oh," Marcus said, and he seemed slightly cheered, "It's a Quidditch play. I'm going to be Captain next year, so I thought… well, I thought I'd update the playbook a bit, and since I had some time today, I figured, why not start now?"
Ah, Quidditch. That explained his sudden upswing in mood. "You really like Quidditch, don't you?" she asked.
"You really like Arithmancy, don't you?" he countered.
"It's interesting, like I said," she said, sliding into the seat opposite him. This, just talking about regular things, with no sign of Endria Folland anywhere around, felt like the way things always used to be with him, and she realised she sorely missed it. If she could just stop thinking about how nice it had felt to be sitting on the broomstick with him, perhaps it could stay this way…
Well, fuck, Calista thought, borrowing one of Kim's favourite words, although she didn't think she'd dare say it out loud, like Kim often did, Too late for that, isn't it? What the hell had she been talking about, before she'd made the mistake of thinking about that? Oh, yes. Arithmancy.
"It's not my favourite class," she said.
"Yeah?" Marcus asked, setting his quill down. "What is, then? Advanced Arithmancy? Super Advanced Arithmancy?"
She snorted. "Okay, the second one is a N.E.W.T. level class," she said,"And the third one, you just made up. Arithmancy isn't my favourite subject at all, it's not even in my top three."
"Right," Marcus said, tapping his forehead. "That was daft of me, I forgot. Potions must be your favourite. What are the other two, then?"
"Charms and Ancient Runes," she said. "I'm not even sure if I like Potions or Charms better, actually, but you definitely can't tell my dad I said that."
"Don't worry, I definitely won't," Marcus said stoutly, and then: "I guess I should have guessed Charms, too. Your Freezing Charm is wicked."
For some reason, this made her blush, even though Percy had once told her more or less the same thing. She didn't think it was a thing that Marcus would have noticed.
"Uhm… thanks."
They made eye contact then, and somehow wound up holding it for several seconds, until Calista looked hastily away, afraid that he'd be able to see something in her gaze that she didn't want him to. As much as she hated the idea of him possibly dating Endria, she didn't want to lose her friendship with him, and she was afraid that was what might happen if he ever realised how she felt about him.
Marcus sighed, and picked up his quill, dropping his own gaze back to the diagram in front of him.
"I'll, uhm… I'll let you work on that, I guess." Calista said, getting up from her chair. "I'll… I'll see you later, Marcus."
"Yeah," he said, somewhat flatly. "See you, Calista."
Calista went to her dormitory room, thinking sourly that a crush was the most useless thing to have. What was the point, when it was never going to go anywhere?