Christy
"Ughhhh! Ringggg! Ughhh!" That's how the noise in my room went, my loud groans and the chimes of the alarms.
"Shut upppp!" I screamed in my pillows before angrily smashing my alarm on the floor.
That damn thing.
I knew I was going to get rid of it sooner or later.
I dragged myself out of bed sleepily and walked towards my shower, I caught a glimpse of my messy hair on the mirror.
"Great," I huffed. From all the twisting and tossing I did yesterday night in bed my hair is now messy.
I turn on the shower after tripping out of my clothes. I slide in and shiver. It was warm but yet, I can't say I'm a number one fan of water.
I pour my strawberry shampoo while washing my hair. Some how the fragrance made me relax, I shut my eyes about to let all go when his face popped up from nowhere. I quickly snap my eyes opened, having the shampoo creep in.
"Arhh!" I opened the shower full force and immediately wash the chemical off my eyes.
I angrily pulled my tower almost ripping it. furiously drying up I opened my closet for any outfit, my gaze fell on a black "proud to be a black" sweater, and a purple skirt with my leggings and a pair of black booths, I shrugged and put it on.
I walked in front of my long dressing mirror after brushing my teeth, I reach for my big comb and began combing while yelping. One thing I hate about my hairs was when they're too messy they can be damn hard to brush, almost impossible!
I finally gave up with a huff, I pack my hair in rough bun in frustration and yank my bag on my shoulder then I went to the kitchen.
Breakfast was already on the table, great. I plop down on my spot staring at my plate containing the toast, eggs and bacon. My stomach form a big knot, since these days I've lost the thirst of food.
I sigh, all I could think of was him, his long eyes lashes and red lips, his elfin stature and voice. He just missed me.
Since our dispute, I haven't seen him though I'm craving to just steal one little glance at that emotionless face, it will do me some good.
I went to the tree house and I didn't found him there. Maybe he had left town, who knows? And is my fault.
I buried my face in my palms.
Stupid, stupid me, I shouldn't have said that to him, but I was so angry! I've never been so mean to anyone before.
The tear that dropped from his eyes, God, am such a monster.
Christy don't be fooled by him, he deserved all you said to him, it was going to happen sooner or later. I tried convincing myself.
Sheila was right I should start forgetting about something that isn't real. He is a damn boy! Boys are dangerous! The just hurt you and move to another girl. They don't worth your heart.
I clenched my fist.
He doesn't worth it, I said what I wanted to say and that is it.
"What if he commits suicide tomorrow?"
A little voice said to me, I found myself doubting. Was I making the right choice by letting him to his depressing self? Or is he better off without me?
"Ugh!" I pulled my hair in frustration.
John walked in and starts laughing. "Look at you! Bloody Mary, eyes red! hair messy!" He mocked.
John's mockery got into me, I was already pissed with myself and he was just making it worst.
I stumped to him and grabbed him on the collar, "you don't say that to a lady!" I yelled.
"Chill! I was just kidding." He shrink.
"Kidding?! Am having a bad day and all you do is joke!" I kept yelling.
"Mum!" John called out, and sure enough mum came running like the hen she was.
"Christine Evans! How many times have I told you to stop harassing your brother?" Mum scolded.
I rolled my eyes while shoving him slightly. "He shouldn't have pissed me off." I returned back to my seat with an attitude.
Without a word she walked to me and gently pulled me upstairs to her room, then made me sit on her dresser.
She undo my bun and applied oil on my knotted hair.
"What is wrong with you?" She asked softly.
"No thing." I growl.
"I know you too well Christy, you don't snap without a reason."
"Then you don't know me." I Mumble.
"Really?" She scuff "I know your every move." She brushed my hair till it fell on my shoulders like it should have, and I didn't feel any pain while she brush. She always know how to untangle my rough long big hair.
I sigh, "I had an issue with a friend and I said stuffs, mean stuffs to hi -her." I quickly corrected, I won't have her know I have been hanging out with a boy, she'll go over the whole biblical rules, over and over!
"Uh-huh"
"I also told her I was not coming back and our friendship was over."
"You exaggerated a little too much. Anyway you can just apologize."
"No, what if she doesn't want my apologies? And, after all she was the one who started it." I huffed.
"Are you at peace with yourself?"
"Uh, no."
"If you apologize, you will bear in heart that you have done your part by apologizing and trying to settle the conflict then it will be left for her to decide."
I sigh, "that's humiliating."
"Not at all, apologies don't reduce anybody's statue, it only show how much you want peace." She was staring at me from the mirror, waiting for my response. I only frowned.
"Stubbornness and proud only lead to regrets. Imagine your friend happen to leave town still bearing your conflict in heart, you don't know what might happen tomorrow, honey, you must cease every opportunity you have to fix things in life." She added.
What if he commits suicide? It will be your fault!
The voice came again, a little bit louder and harsh this time.
I nodded to mum, "I'll try but I'm not promising anything."
*******
I've been waiting for this moment through out, the day with impatience.
I stood in front of the tree house, gripping the strap of my bag firmly. I had to do it. He might yell at me and kick me out, that will be embarrassing. And I don't want anyone to think am running after them.
"This is stupid." I turn around. But once again the voice came speaking to me.
I turn to face the tree house. "God help me." I kissed my cross chain.
I took a deep breath before climbing the ladder and going in the tree house. Everywhere was silent as usual, except the faints movement of leaves, and the cheeping of some birds in the woods. The place was still untidy from our last encounter.
I tiptoed in, I pop my head and looked around, he wasn't on the balcony, neither was he on his carving spot close to the chimney.
I let my guards down and walked in looking at the balcony, maybe he was crouch some where there.
From the corner of my eyes I caught a figure at my left, I jumped while grabbing my mouth out of fear.
He freak me out I thought it was the black eyed boy in my nightmares.
I was stroke with a great shock when I saw him seating in the corner, with pills spread around him with little broken bottles, and his wrist oh God! It was bleeding with five long cut from what I guess was a razor blade from how tiny they were. His dark red blood oozed from his cut and wet his jeans cover tight where his hand was resting.
With eyes shut, long eyelashes wet and cheeks damp he lean his head on the wall. I was right he was so cute with those wet lashes.
I hurried to him, picking up one of the broken bottles with label, it read citalopram, then another read sentraline.
What was he thinking when he took two different drugs?
With how the room was wreck I guess he had another break down.
My heart skipped when I won't find his pulse, "Elie! Elie!" I tapped his cheeks rapidly but he won't move or opened his eyes.
"This isn't funny! Elie! Open your eyes! I'm sorry!" I shook him multiple times but yet. nothing.
Tears welled in my eyes and ran down my cheeks. "This is all my fault! I shouldn't have yelled at you, I'm so sorry! You are not a freak, I'm the stupid girl, I swear I didn't want this to happen. I'm so sorry!" I cried.
My tears drip from my cheeks and landed just below his eyes and he squeezed it shut.
I quickly wiped my eyes, "Elie." I patted his cheek.
He groan faintly and slowly opened his eyes. I was hypnotised by the beauty of his eyes, it was like a million sunset, so perfect and beautiful, it wasn't how the aluminium mixed with the light blue that made it unique, but how his tiny black pupil increase in size as my face reflected in his glossy eyes, for a split second I saw life, hope and love in them, they weren't dull but lively with a little touch of sparkle. I'll never forget this moment, it took me all not to crash my lips on his.
"You came." He grunted.
I could not find my tongue to speak, I only nodded.
He gently pulled himself from my hold and I retrieve my hand in embarrassment.
We stayed in silence just staring at the floor for a while, before I decided to speak up.
"What were you thinking?" I keep my voice low, not wanting to sound harsh.
He shrugged, "trying to kill my inner pain." He simply replied. "You asked me to get help that's what I try to do." I followed his gaze to the pills.
I sigh. "I'm sorry, I didn't understand." I Mumble. "If you don't want my apologies I understand, I'll just leave." I got up and brush my skirt.
I felt his cold hand on my wrist. "Stay." He said.
I stare at his purple veined hand on mine, he quickly pulled back.
"Kay." I went to the closet looking for any first aid knit.
"Where are the bandages?" I asked.
"Don't have any." He replied, I unzip my bag reaching for my emergency knit.
I sat close to him and he moved back. "What?" I asked.
He gestured for my cross chain.
"Oh sorry, I'll take it off."
"No don't, just put it inside your shirt." He said.
"Fine," I did exactly what he said and finally I could come a little closer.
"Why don't you like my chain?" I tried to distract him while I treat his cut.
"What are you doing?" He asked.
"Treating your cuts, don't tell me you don't treat your cuts."
"I don't."
I rolled his sleeve to his elbow, and found more other scars that weren't treated properly. He pulled it back down.
"Sorry." I mouthed before resuming my work, "so tell why are you scared of my cross and bible?"
He shrugged, "is not me, but THEM. Each time I'm close to your religious stuffs. My body hurts, if I'm too close to one or have anyone touch me with it, they'll manifest and might kill me or the person."
I nodded. "Why do you cut?" I asked.
He stayed silent for a while before shrugging, "they want me to."
I nodded, "you won't mind if I brush your hair is messy." I said out of blue. I didn't like the silence.
He nodded hesitantly.
He seems happy, even if he isn't showing it. I can see it through his dull eyes. And I was happy too, his presence had missed me.
But one thing he doesn't know is I've not given up yet, on the idea of helping him. I must get THEM out of him no matter what it takes.