|SunMi's POV|
The music fades out and the lights dim down as we hurry off stage. All that's left is the encore stage. I never imagined I'd be able to say that. I always thought I'd be working at a computer company or making video games. Instead, I'm standing on stage with four girls I would've never met if I hadn't attempted this path.
I never used to sweat this much. I was never out of breath, but look at me now. I crave it. I crave the feeling of hard work. It makes me feel like I'm succeeding at something for the first time ever.
"Candi! Candi!" The audience cheers as we linger beside the stage.
"Black Licorice?" Aera questions in attempt to confirm our encore song.
"Yeah. Ready?" NaHee asks as we all lock hands.
We step out on the stage, the lights barely bright enough to make out our figures. We all exchange glances before holding our mics in front of us. The moment the lights go up, an all too familiar song starts, but it's not ours.
I immediately let go of JuHee and NaHee's hands. I turn around to see San and SeongHwa stepping on stage from opposite sides. San is the first to sing as I feel tears filling my eyes. I lower my head and turn my back to the audience. A video of all of us begins to play on the screen.
WooYoung and YeoSang follow behind them smiling brightly as they both lock eyes with me. I reach up to wipe away my tears. This song—it got me through a lot. It made me keep holding on when I felt like I had nothing left to live for.
YunHo and JongHo join the others on stage as they all slowly make their way toward us. JongHo's eyes never leave me. The others all smile at the other girls, but not JongHo. He can only see me.
HongJoong and MinGi slip on stage behind them, waiting for their parts. The moment JongHo is close enough, I wrap my arms around him and bury my face in his chest. I don't care who takes pictures. I don't care who sees. This is my moment. I'm the star of the day. This is everything he and the others have been preparing me for.
Not long after the boys full the stage, a bunch of other people join us. I watch as each of the girls are surrounded by family. They smile and cry as their dreams are finally in reach. They get to share the moment with the people who love them—but there's someone missing. My heart sinks. I knew they wouldn't be here, but I was hoping.
My happy tears shift to disappointment. JongHo can sense my sorrow. He wraps his arms around me tighter and rests his cheek against the top of my head. I close my eyes tightly and struggle to keep my grip on my microphone. I feel a warm hand over mine. I open my eyes to see SeongHwa. He leans in toward me and lowers his own microphone so it doesn't pick up what he has to say.
"You're family is here, Sun. All eight of us, plus the new four. Everyone you need is right here. We're all here for you." SeongHwa brushes my hair from my face before stepping back to sing his part.
"He's right, you know. You're going to be stuck with us until the day we die." JongHo smiles as he takes my face in his hands. Despite the large audience, JongHo leans in to place a soft kiss on my lips.
I slap his chest and immediately pull away. I glance back at the audience to see people yelling and cheering. JongHo takes that as a sign and he picks me up. He carries me to the center of the stage and leans in to kiss me once again.
MinGi quickly takes our mics and steps aside while JongHo continues to take advantage of the spotlight. I slap him continuously. I don't want him to ruin any of this for Candi or Ateez. He's being irresponsible. It's one thing to tell the public we're dating, it's another to reveal it like this.
The lights go down as soon as JongHo wraps his arm around my waist and leans me back. His soft lips press against mine as the crowd gets louder. I wrap my arms around JongHo's neck and pull him closer. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe this is just another thing Candi is going to bring to the table.
"Come on." NaHee grabs ahold of my hand and yanks me away from JongHo.
I watch as SeongHwa drags JongHo off stage. NaHee pulls me out of view and slaps my shoulder playfully.
"Our show was supposed to be rated E for everyone. You two just bumped up the rating to R." Aera teases as she pokes at my sides.
"I'm going to see my mom and dad. I'll see you guys a little later. You did perfect out there." NaHee ruffles my hair before hurrying off to see her parents.
"I'll see you later, Sun. I haven't seen my mom in ages." Aera gives me a quick hug before rushing off.
"I'm sorry, Sun. You must be sad. I know you don't see your parents often—" JiSu stops mid sentence as I wave her off.
"I'm okay. Go see your parents." I reassure her with a weak smile.
"Eonnie~" JuHee tugs on my arm.
"Go see your brother." I pry her off of me as I spot her family in the distance.
"But you're alone." JuHee frowns as she reclaims my hand. She swings our intertwined hands back and forth.
"First of all, you never call me Eonnie. Second, I'm alright, really. Go see the baby. You haven't got to meet her yet." I pull her in for a quick hug before spinning her around and patting her butt encouragingly.
"I'll be back. Don't go too far." JuHee warns as she hesitantly leaves me.
"Where am I gonna go?" I sigh in defeat as I stare down at my feet.
I shouldn't be upset right now. I should be thrilled. We finally debuted and everyone loved us. Why do I feel so terrible? I just want to sit in a corner and cry.
"If you cry, I'm gonna cry." SeongHwa warns as he approaches me.
"I'm not gonna cry. I'm fine. Why does no one believe me?" I groan as I swallow hard and compose myself.
"Because we aren't stupid. Anyone in your position would be upset. You all worked hard, but you're the only one who doesn't have family here. But you have us. We're your family." SeongHwa reminds me again as he wraps his arms around my neck. He rests his head on my shoulder and closes his eyes.
"I'm fine. I promise." I turn around in his grasp and poke his nose before pushing him away lightly.
"Don't get too worked up about it, okay? I'll keep JongHo at bay for a bit, but don't overthink it." SeongHwa secures a Stray strand of my hair behind my ear before leaning in to press his forehead to mine.
"I won't, loser." I smile shyly as I place my hand on his chest and force him back.
I watch SeongHwa make his way toward the Ateez boys. He grabs JongHo's arm and drags him along. I take a shaky breath and head toward the waiting room. It's empty right now, I know it is.
I slip inside and let my emotions take over. Tears fall down my face as I flip the lights off and fall down in the nearest chair. I bury my face in my hands. Did I make a mistake? Should I have given up when I had the pregnancy scare?
I sit in near silence. The only sound is my soft sniffles. I love them. I love the girls like their my real sisters, but maybe I'm not ready for this. They like being in front of people. They like attention. I like computer screens and tinkering with phones.
"Did you really think I'd leave you alone?" NaHee asks softly as she flips the light on while shaking her head.
"We! Did she really think we would leave her alone!" JuHee swats at NaHee as her and the other girls push their way into the room.
I chuckle softly as I rub at my eyes. NaHee and the others wrap their arms around me. I glance up at the mirror to see them all staring at me.
"I'm fine." I laugh as I reach up to smooth JuHee's hair.
"You could be hanging off a building by one finger and you'd still say you're fine." JiSu scrunches her nose up as she rests her cheek on my head.
"She isn't wrong. You really would." Aera agrees happily as she pokes at my side.
"You weren't thinking of ditching us, were you? The most popular member can't leave right after debut. We'd become the most pitied group out there." NaHee teases as she pulls back. She sits on the counter in front of me and takes my face in her hands.
"I'm not the most popular." I object as she uses her sweatshirt sleeve to dry my eyes.
"Yeah, you kind of are." JiSu holds her phone out for me to see.
"You're trending. Then Candi. You're first. That's how popular you are." Aera steps back and let's me have the spotlight without hesitation.
"Trending stuff doesn't matter. Right now, she's our favorite. She's our Sun. She makes everyday worth living. You all do." NaHee looks at each one of us with loving eyes.
"We're in this together! Through thick and thin!" JuHee chirps as she hops up and down.
"On the count of three!" NaHee holds her hand out in front of her. We all place our hands on top of hers.
"One. Two. Three! We are Candi!" We all shout in unison before bursting out laughing. NaHee smiles as she forces us all into a group hug.