"We have to go to the old house this at Saturday for your Grandmother's birthday for dinner," Dad informed at the dinner table. I was ladling more mutton soup to drink as my hand unconsciously stopped mid-action.
What to say? I have an exam the next day? No, no, the next day is Sunday. I have my driver's license test scheduled? No, Dad might have sources and will change it. Lanyard got into an accident and I have to go to the hospital? No, Mom would want to go check too. Then Hacker? But that geek will definitely not leave his stupid in-game wife's side to come and lie for me. Chief will be angry this whole week so she's out of question. Should I hire people to kidnap me? Anyway, I can't be sick, last year Mom gave me painkillers for stomach ache and made me go. Can I get chicken pox in a day?
As multiple excuses went through my mind, I internally sighed because I knew nothing could work. I would have to go anyway. This is one thing I can't physically run away from. I stared at the soup ladled in the spoon, suddenly not hungry at all. I dropped the ladle back in and focused on finishing the vegetables as soon as possible.
"You've been coming very late from college nowadays." Mom put down spoon and fixed her sharp eyes at me. Her eyes always for some reason, reminded me of cement. It must have once been soft and malleable but I don't remember. All I see is a solidified wall caging me in.
"College is busy. Freshmen have a lot of things to do."
"Like what? All your classes get over by afternoon."
"Seminars, assignments, club activities."
"What club are you-"
"Okay, okay, stop it Yiren. Yuyu can do whatever she wants. She's old enough now." Dad interrupted as he gave me a reassuring smile. He patted Mom's shoulder good naturedly to calm her down.
"Yuyu, staying out late is dangerous so try your best to come home earlier. If you're going to be very late then call Dad. Dad will come pick you up."
"Just let me stay in the dorm," I muttered in a small voice.
"Dorm?! You want to live in the dorms?" Mom exploded, just like she always did whenever I tried to show that I was an independent human and not her little robot, controlled by her remote. " Do you even know how difficult it is to live in dorms? The rooms are small and you have to share it with other girls. Do you know how girls are? All of them will backstab you, steal your things, and make your life hell."
Oh, just look at this hypocrite speak.
"Listen to mom, Yuyu. Mom is telling you for your own benefit. You're so pretty, your beauty will be a needle in their eyes. And moreover, public transport is so safe and convenient and we don't live very far."
"Okay, I know," I sighed.
Sure enough, one hour is my tolerance level's time limit with these people.
I went up to the terrace instead of returning to my room after dinner. I liked spending time in the terrace a lot, whenever I could not think of a reason to get out of house. Because except my room, the terrace was the only place my parents didn't frequent in this house. So I had made this place my own.
I had put up fairy lights like a roof and placed a few plushies. I sat on the big fish shaped plushie and looked at fairy lights that glinted like stars, making up for the empty sky above. Humans have really snatched the stars from the sky. Not that I was innocent. The amount of tobacco fumes I had let out, while lying on this very fish plushie was enough to make these fairy lights stop sparkling too, if given the choice. Fairy lights, however, at the end of the day were fake sources of light, they were manmade. Like robots.
Was I a star or a fairylight?
"Ling Bingchen." I called as I looked at the empty ball plushie beside me, imagining the tall, slender man sitting beside me, looking at me with that haunting stare that I'm still not sure if I liked or hated.
"Ling Bingchen, am I a star or a fairylight?"
My mom hated me but wouldn't let me go. My dad didn't care but wanted to show he does. Wen Lili was angry at me but I couldn't even give her an explanation and apologize. I hated myself. I was unacceptable to myself.
"Ling Bingchen, it's okay if I can't be a star, but can I not be a fairy light?"