Thursday 6th June, 2019
Day 4.
I sat in my car.
I was already ten minutes late. I couldn't delay more, but I couldn't move. No matter how many times I ordered my legs to budge, they wouldn't. The time mocked me on the dashboard, and I sighed for the fifth time.
My eyes found the row of trees across the road, green and dark. Julian was probably watching me from a turret, daring me to move. Laughing. The thought of his big dark eyes mocking me spurred me on. I got out of the car, slammed the door, and stalked across the street.
His house was blacker and bigger than I remembered. Curbing the intimidation, I stood on the porch and knocked.
Two seconds later, the door swung open. Mr Jones stood, looking as smart and handsome as the last time, with a navy suit on today. "Brooke!" He exclaimed with a white smile bright enough to blind.
Ushering me inside, I couldn't help but feel at ease. "Hello again, Mr Jones."
His brown eyes, the same huge ones as his son, blinked at me. "You're looking better."
"They're fading, finally."
"Good. You can go on up, Julian should be in the study."
"Thank you." I watched Mr Jones' back as he retreated through a door, and then I went to hover at the bottom of the stairs. My palms were slick with sweat, heart slumping. It felt like I was walking into a lion's den.
Taking a deep breath, I walked up the stairs. The corridor at the top was empty, and seemed smaller than I remembered. I carried on, opening three wrong doors before I found the right one. When I did, a yelp escaped me.
He didn't turn around. Julian's chair was turned toward the window, his curly-haired, broad-shouldered silhouette all I could see.
Shuffling in, I closed the door. "Julian?"
"Why are you here?"
"I'm tutoring you."
"I don't want you here," he said. His voice was so cold, I winced.
"I don't want to be here." Still, I went around and sat in the chair next to him. Julian stared out of the window, wide eyes like tunnels. Black, empty.
It chilled me.
"Why are you here, then?" He asked.
"I don't run away from things like a child." I said, seeing him swallow thickly. "I have a job to do, and I'm going to do it."
Julian looked at me, then. His eyebrows were pushed together like he was in pain, but the rest of his face was expressionless. "Wasn't what I did enough?" He hissed. "What do I have to do?"
"To do what?"
His fingers gripped his thighs, where they'd laid flat before. "To get you to leave me the fuck alone!"
I blinked. The atmosphere was heavy, tense. I thought, maybe if he was alone, he'd lay off. But that was definitely not the case. Looking out at his green back yard, I ignored the heaviness of his eyes on me. Maybe because I didn't want them to go.
"Kill me." I said, and looked at him. "Why don't you just kill me, Julian?"
"That's not funny."
"Julian," my voice was quiet. "Can't we just be civil? I only need an hour."
"I can't stand an hour."
"With me?"
"Yes."
"Why?" I looked into his eyes, and the wall was up again. Even though his voice was venomous, there was no life in him. His curly hair didn't seem as crazy as it usually did, lying flat on his head.
"Why?" He mocked, looking away. "I don't have to answer to you."
"You don't have to, no. Because I already know the answer." My eyes fell to the books in my lap, feeling small. "You hate me."
"That's right."
"Why, Julian?"
"I don't know." He laughed; that cold, familiar laugh I loathed. "I just can't stand you."
"There must be a reason." I needed to know, but he just shook his head. "You really are evil, aren't you?" I asked, suddenly furious. The least he could do was have a reason!
He winked at me, but it was full of malice. "Dial 666, and listen to my phone ring."
"Get lost with your crappy pick-up lines."
"If I had any, I wouldn't be using them on you."
I sighed, not letting it get to me. Clearly he was on a nasty bender today. "Just tell me why you hate me, Julian."
"It could be the way you look. Or maybe it's the way you are." His eyebrows rose. "An easy girl."
I inhaled sharply. "You know that's not true."
"It probably is."
Anger flooded me, and I snapped. "It isn't! And you know it!"
He smirked slyly. "I don't care."
"How can you not? It's a lie!"
"It's for fun." His eyes burned, and I had a feeling he was about to break, about to explode.
"Julian! There's nothing fun about it!"
"It is for me."
My eyes found his face, looked properly, at the lack of shine in his hair, the grey tinge to his skin, those black-tunnel eyes. He wasn't having fun at all. "I don't believe you."
He stood up abruptly. "Get out."
"What?"
Julian stared down at me. "Get the fuck out of my house."
"No." My jaw locked.
"What did you say?"
"I said no. I won't. After all you've done, you owe me to sit down for an hour and let me ramble about English."
"Fucking Hell!" He yelled, and I flinched with the volume. "What does it take to get you away from me?" The muscles in his arms flexed as his hands balled into fists. "Take a fucking hint! Get out - now!"
I stared at him, stunned. He'd never raised his voice at me; a vein pulsed at his temple. After a moment of looking at each other, him breathing heavily and me not at all, I quietly stood. Nodding at him, I headed toward the door.
When I reached it, he spoke. "Have you seen the videos?"
Confusion washed over me, but I just wanted to go. Without turning around, I mumbled "no".
"Good. Don't watch it." He sounded quieter now, tired.
"Why?"
"Just don't. Get out."
"On it." I snapped, and slammed the door closed with a bang. Rushing down the hall, I saw at the bottom of the stairs, Mr Jones stood.
Concern lined his forehead. "Is everything okay, Brooke?"
"No," I said, fighting to keep calm. "Mr Jones, I'm sorry, but I think you need to make sure your son is willing to be tutored before hiring someone to do it."
Black fury, for a moment, burned in his eyes. As soon as I saw it, terror shot through me like lightening. But it passed quickly, replaced by a smile.
"I'm sorry to hear that. I'll have a word with him."
"Okay."
"Thank you for your time, anyway."
"Sure," I said, eyeing the door. He noticed and gestured for me to go. "Thank you."
Racing, I flew out the door and across the road, grateful for the colder weather today. In my car, I didn't waste a moment and started it up. In my rush, mind still foggy with shock, pain and confusion, I took a different route home.
It went around the back of town, where the forest on the outskirts of town was. In my mind I saw Julian's furious face; I knew I should be upset, disgusted by the way he spoke to me, but the truth was the emptiness in his eyes had scared me more.
At least I knew he could still feel things; every time he blew, it was a reminder there was humanity somewhere inside him.
Not that I cared. He was still the worst bastard I'd ever come across, but beneath all of the boiling anger I knew embarrassment lay. Because before this week, I'd thought he was different. I'd seen worry, softness in him. Something I knew now had been a lie, just to hurt me more.
I wanted to stop, yell and bang my head on the wheel. So I did. Pulling onto the side of the road, it was completely empty, thick trees were a few feet away. I yelled, letting the frustration out. Pulling at my hair, I hit the steering wheel with my fists until all the anger drained away. When I felt better, I laid my head back.
A minute later, I went to start the car, but something outside caught my eye.
I looked out the window. Squinting, my crappy eyesight fought against blurriness. There was something, deep in the forest, still as stone. Not an animal, more human-like. . .
It started moving. Drawing closer, I could finally make out a person; tall, bald with pale skin. His clothes seemed to be ragged, and my finger inched toward the door handle.
Maybe they needed help. . .
A small scream escaped me as he got clearer - his eyes were completely black, and red stood out against his white skin, smeared down his chin. Dripping.
"Shit," I hissed, jamming the key into the ignition and turning it. He was still inside the forest when I stamped on the gas, speeding down the empty road. Breathing heavily, my mind tried to make sense of what I saw as I drove away.
When I got to town, never slowing, I saw people laughing down the street. Slowly, the rush of blood in my ears calmed, thoughts becoming coherent as the normal world surrounded me.
By the time I rolled up my drive, closing my eyes, it seemed like a dream. Just a dream.
Just a nightmare.