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Chapter 112 - Finding Your Passion

In headstart it was the girls basketball team

I was terrible, I have to admit

skipping instead of running

Still couldn't keep up but I made my mama proud

In kindergarten

I wanted to join soccer

But let myself get talked down

At the last second

For the next 6 years

I lost myself in the sound

Of my notes intermingling

With those of others singing on stage

When I was in elementary

And on into middle school

All I could think about those years

Were the harmonies of our times on the stage

Unfortunately I was pulled away

No longer allowed to lift my voice and sing

Dropped into the hands of contemporary dance

From there my interests strayed far and wide

I wanted to dance

And act in front of an audience

To exert myself mentally, physically

Spotlight shining directly on me

One year I wanted to display my artwork

Become uplifted and have it prioritized

The next I wanted to do theatre

Though before long it was shut down by the school

Another year I wanted to join volleyball

but felt too pressured after hearing

The toll it was placing on my mom

It didn't matter, it wasn't the most important

Afterwards I wanted to join clubs

For Diversity, Poetry and Book readings

Anything and everything I could all at once

But they all fell through for lack of transportation

In my final year I was adamant about the theatre

I performed again, both dancing and singing

Art I made was among the props we used

My fellow performers looked to me both on and off set

All my youth I spent shyly chasing the stage

Didn't matter what form it took

As long as all eyes were on me

Though I didn't have the guts to fully claim it as mine

So I found what I couldn't live without

Decided to build myself around who I was

Nothing could take it away harmlessly

Because I was done messing around

When I was a senior

The people around me expected change

They looked for signs of transition

From writing towards a 'stable' trade

Now it was their turn to indulge me

What they thought was another phase

Watching as it kept growing and building

Becoming an entity forcefully recognized

So many memoirs center around

"What would have beens" because

They allowed others to decide for them

Letting the faults be all or nothing, but not theirs

However I made sure I had the last say

Even if they weren't my decisions

The mistakes others would have created

I made sure I was the only one taking responsibility

When I was a freshman

I wanted to be a choreographer

Not just dancing background

But creating my own moves

When I was a sophomore

I wanted to play sports

Become more active in life

Focus more on today, not only the future

When I was a junior

I expanded on my need to keep writing

Entertaining hobbies to humor others

Just keeping my passion to myself

But after realizing everything else

Failed without me giving a second glance

I knew that I couldn't remain unfaithful

To the one thing that never let me leave

Now my vow lies in my words

Both written and seen, spoken and heard

Who needs an alternative choice

When all you ever needed was right there

I chose to embrace my gift

Accepting it's hazards along with the beauty

Nobody decides what is hobby or career

Passion knows no bounds, and neither does talent