I'm tired of hiding
Living in this shadow
Still waiting for the night to come
When I can slip away under the cover of darkness
I-m only spotted when its convenient
So why can't I disappear for the same reasons
The flashes of sunlight, never ending spotlights
Searing my skin
The coarse responses, haggard motions
From a damaged mind
Soothed only by the hidden shades
Cast on the ground by something's shadow
Close to the border's edge
Ready to cross over and make a break for it
Someone's call rings through the air
Putting a damper on my foiled plans yet again
And the mantra of this saddened life begins:
Returning to repeat
Accomplishing the tasks of another
Begging to belong
Still unable to master the required stealth
Controlled by those who could care less
Till the clock chimes it's time
Down in the dumps
Unwavering gaze never shedding a tear until
Everyone's attention is occupied elsewhere
Victim to attacks that aren't physical but verbal
Faith the only thing left to combat the unadulterated fear
Without a reprieve or wherewithal
Going down further, self confidence lower than the Grand Canyon
Xenic to some, to others xylyl
Hiding within my own shadow pleading for help
Yet I never accepted anyone's hand throughout the years
Indisposed frequently but powering through my illness
Zealously trying to awaken from my own version of a zombie
Just trying to transform this coal into a brightly shining jewel
Kind hearted,
Loved immensely,
Meaningful to my surroundings,
Never indispensable,
One of a kind,
Pure at heart,
Quite the genius
Someone's little ray of sunshine
Can't this shadow sparkle?
I had forgotten that shadows were the most prominent
Closer to the peak of day than any other time
And the one responsible for holding me back was myself
Choosing to listen, choosing to abide and be obedient
Those fall on me
But so does the choice to remain hidden or reveal my talents to the world