Eh?
What?
W-W-What did she just s-s-s-say?!
L-L-L-Love?!
No, that's not the important part.
She said… that she's ok with my selfishness, my pettiness, and my unreasonableness?
This…
I was suddenly dizzy, not from discomfort, but from shock.
Before I could even comprehend my own thoughts, I had lost control of myself, squatting down onto the grassy ground and burying my face into my hands.
Shaking uncontrollably, the words that had come out of that idiot's mouth kept ringing in my head, rendering me unable to think about whether it was sanitary or not to have my skirt spilling onto the grass, whether it was lady-like to squat on the ground, or whether the sound of my muffled crying could be heard a mile away.
Crying?
... Why am I crying?
The question came to me like a tsunami, and as if a dam inside me had broken, tears came rolling down my face, seeping through my hands and into the soft fabric of my uniform.
Suddenly, I understood. I understood how pitiful I was, even though I had acted like I was all high and mighty…
I understood how lonely I was, even as I was surrounded by people who loved me every single day.
I understood that I had lost my identity, and all I had left was a shell built by others, not myself.
A pretty shell without a soul. A shell that everyone liked, but had no substance to it. It was just a shell that conformed to the likings of everyone that touched it.
I understood that for all these years, I haven't been living. I was dead this entire time.
My sobs grew louder.
I couldn't help it.
And to think, the person that made me realize all of this… was a villain. An idiot that I despised.
An idiot that I thought was no better than anyone else. An idiot that I thought would leave me… or pretend everything is alright but secretly betray me.
I could still clearly remember the disdainful conversations I eavesdropped from the other nobles regarding my behavior as a child.
The way that they flattered me in my presence and talked trash about me behind my back… I was disgusted by them.
I guess… even though I had acted unfazed by those words and continued to be the Claremont Duchy's arrogant princess, some part of me had been traumatized by them.
I had gradually lost hope in myself.
I had begun to believe that no one would love me for who I truly am. That whoever said so must be lying.
I had begun to believe that only if I became perfect, that if I became a person who had beauty, wealth, and an ideal personality that swooned everyone, I would be loved.
But… Perhaps I had been wrong this entire time.
Perhaps… there ARE people that are fine with my personality. My REAL personality.
There are people that I can be myself with, without having to put up so many pretenses.
It's just that I haven't found these people yet.
Well, no, I've already found one.
She is a villainess, but she's also my savior.
Lancera Hall.
A gentle breeze brushed past me, and suddenly, I smiled.
Wiping off the tears on my face with my sleeves, I stood up, not bothering to pat the dust and soil from my uniform and held my hand out to the violet-eyed girl who was looking at me worriedly.
"Lancera, let's go take a walk, shall we? After I've calmed down enough… we can go back to the academy. I have a free period next anyway." My voice was commanding and had a hint of unbridled arrogance.
Watching her surprised look, I grinned with my rows of pearly teeth fully revealed, my puffy eyes curling into thin crescents.