Chapter 56 Lily makes a decision
Severus realized he did not want to be alone, but fate had dealt him a terrible hand. The girls he was attracted to were too good for him. Lily certainly knew that, and had not minced words about her plans to leave him. He still loved her, and probably always would.
There were mornings he woke before her, and was content to lie next to Lily looking at her. Short of slipping her love potion, which would be terribly obvious considering the way she treated him as only her good friend in public, Severus did not know what he could do.
Over the weeks, Severus got a plan together in his head. He'd want to concentrate on his apprenticeship after they graduated and Lily left him. He had asked her twice now since Christmas break what she planned on doing, but she would not tell him. Lily claimed she did not know. He guessed she did not want him following or impeding her in some way.
When Lily hit him with a cheering charm, he'd think about Summerby. He could write her next year, while she was in her seventh year at Hogwarts. When he came off his high, he considered writing would also give her a whole year for the opportunity to find someone better suited than him.
Then one morning, Lily was sick before their first class. He suspected someone had tampered with the food at the Gryffindor table, and told Lily when she asked that it was not him. Why would he chance making Lily nauseous? All that bacon and sausage smelled bad enough before she ate it.
When whoever, probably a younger Gryffindor because they thought they were so witty, got Lily a second morning in the same week, Severus brewed up something that would protect the drinker against further pranking.
It was not until Lily was at home for Easter break that she was sick again because she saw no reason to drink that potion in her own house. Sev was staying overnight at Spinner's End, even though mum claimed it was too cold.
Lily had a disagreement with him before they left school. Severus looked at those Lestrange houses to find one that might be all right for Mary with a secure basement that was not too disgusting, and then he was going to offer to sell it to the Wilkes. He had talked to Malcolm and Mary and made the decision without consulting her. What if it was the house Lily liked best? Severus still had not taken her to see any of them. What if he did not sell it for enough money? Mary had money, and she thought Malcolm had some too. Sev already gave them house elves so he should not short change himself by selling a house to them for too cheap too. He was letting them take advantage of him.
Mrs. Evans was not so convinced of Lily's explanation that someone at school had done something to her. Of course since Lily knew everything, her explanations about monthly potions and enchantments to deny there was any chance that this could be something as mundanely muggle as a pregnancy did not reassure her. The simplest way to disprove that would be Lily never doing that sort of thing. However, she was cursed by a werewolf, had no will power, and bullied Severus.
Lily had some more of that potion and felt better, but her mother mentioned her illness to Severus when he came over for dinner.
"Severus, any idea of why Lily would still be ill at home?"
"You're sick again?" Severus asked Lily.
"Yes, but it could be something that got slipped to me before I left Hogwarts."
"Do you have a bezoar? That'll clear up anything."
"I'm not poisoned."
"Might be to keep you ill for days."
"Could it be something else?" Mrs. Evans suggested.
Lily rolled her eyes and snipped, "No."
Not knowing what Mrs. Evans meant, Severus inquired, "Like what?"
"Morning sickness."
Seeing that Severus was not sure what that was, Lily added, "Mum's trying to suggest I'm pregnant."
"Not if you cast that charm correctly each month," he replied, but Lily did notice his eyes focus briefly on her midsection.
"There's also the magic at the castle."
"I wouldn't count on that. The headmaster can lift any of the enchantments, like allowing apparition."
"Why would he do that?" Lily snarled, then already began to consider that Dumbledore did whatever he liked.
"He might find it funny," Severus muttered, then changed his tone, "I'll go home and get a bezoar, and that book of my mother's to check this other possibility."
"Why?" Lily asked.
"The more things we eliminate, the closer we come to figuring out what's wrong," he answered.
"Can it wait till after dinner?" Mrs. Evans asked. "It's ready."
"Yes, it can. I had some of that potion you mixed up for me, Sev."
"If you're sure," he replied. "Apparating is quick."
"After dinner," Lily stated. She still thought about Dumbledore. What kind of toerag would fool around with the antipregnancy charm on Hogwarts? Students were snogging and shagging all over the castle. Didn't have to be a prefect or head girl to know that. No, he couldn't be that much of an idiot, and no, she was definitely not pregnant.
Severus was still under the assumption that it was some sort of poison. The quick charm to verify that Lily was not pregnant was merely a formality for her mother. Lily was very good at charms so he highly doubted she miscast a contraception spell.
He slipped out to the back garden while the ladies had dessert to apparate back to Spinner's End and was back before they had finished clearing the table.
Lily rattled the bezoar around the inside of her mouth, when Severus made a face after casting a spell out of that book at her. She took the stone out and asked, "What?"
She saw his eyes look sideways towards her mother, then he said, "You can look up whatever you want, Lily," and shut the book.
His mind was already racing in circles. How did Lily mess up the charm? Could she have done it on purpose? No, why would she do something like that? He had heard some tales of girls getting pregnant on purpose, but Lily did not need to do that with him. When Dumbledore messed with the magic at Hogwarts, did he also cast something specifically at Lily to ruin her contraception charm? Was Lily going to use the safer potion method to rid herself of it? Was he even the father?
Lily handed Severus back his bezoar. Why didn't Sev find some better cure for poisons? From the stomach of a goat. Yuck. Was he kidding around about the spell to detect pregnancy? That wasn't funny.
"Well?" Mrs. Evans asked. She had been hoping for something … to see.
"Since Lily took a potion earlier, that needs to wear off before we know if the bezoar was effective," Severus stated. Bezoars had nothing to do with what Lily had, but he did not know if Lily wanted to tell her mother anything. She could end this pregnancy before the week was out.
He edged back into the kitchen, then muttered, "Maybe I should be going."
When Mrs. Evans said good night, he exited through the back door, but Lily called, "Sev, wait," and followed him outside.
"What?"
"Were you kidding?"
"About what?"
"When you cast that charm?"
"No." After a pause, Severus added, "If you need help getting ingredients, let me know."
"Ingredients for what?"
"Whatever you choose to do."
"What do you mean?"
"The last time, you said you did not want to be pregnant. You have things to do, people to meet, and whatever you have planned, Lily."
"But what about you?"
"Me? What do you mean?"
"Is that what you want?"
"You upset me enough last time, Lily. I don't want to repeat this."
"Repeat what? I don't know what you're talking about."
"Never mind then," Severus replied, turning to continue to the back of the garden.
"Wait, you didn't say what you wanted to do."
"Since when do you consider what I want?"
"Why are you getting angry with me, Sev?"
"Because if I say what I'd prefer, you wouldn't care."
"What makes you say that?"
"You are constantly hurting me. Nothing I do is good enough for you."
"When did I say that?"
"You don't say those words. It's when you don't care what I do for you, or you think I'm not worth a decent answer when I ask you to marry me, or when you forgot a contraception charm and panicked that you'd have a hideous baby that would also ruin your plans to spend the next decade shagging every wizard you met."
"What? I never said anything like that."
"I do not want to argue."
"Well, how can you not expect me to tell you you're wrong, Sev?"
"Then set me straight. What is it you want to do?"
"I don't know," Lily replied, exasperation thick in her voice. Why was Severus the one having a meltdown? She was the one that was pregnant. Probably because Dumbledore thought it would be an amusing prank to have a whole bunch of girls running to Madam Pomfrey. Noticing that Severus continued to walk to behind their shed, she yelled, "Wait, you're just leaving?"
"What do you want me to do, Lily?"
"Can't we talk about this?"
"I believe we have been. I told you if it is a repeat of what happened before, I'd rather not listen to it again. I will not hinder you from doing what you feel is best for yourself, but there's no reason for you to list why you are doing it. I remember what you've said in the past, and it was hurtful."
"I don't know what you thought you heard me say, Sev, but this has never come up before. This is serious, and you've got to face it like an adult."
Severus crossed his arms over his chest and replied, "Then say it, I'm here, and I'm listening."
"What? You want me to do all the talking? Don't you have an opinion?"
"My opinion …?" Severus paused, then continued, "What more do you need to hear? I tell you I love you and can't imagine marrying anyone else. That I fear that something will happen to you and I'll be left alone, and you give me a litany of excuses. You either tell me I'm wrong, that you have too much planned to have any time for me, or that you'd prefer to search for someone else because I am not good enough."
"Then why do you put up with me?" Lily retorted.
"I don't know what else to do. Without you, I think I'd be miserable."
Lily put her hands on her hips and sniped, "It sounds like I make you pretty miserable already."
"No, you aggravate me now … at times. Sometimes, things are quite lovely between us."
Mulishly, Lily crossed her arms over her chest, then refrained from using a challenging tone as she asked, "What would you like to do about this, Sev?"
"That depends. If my feelings for you are one-sided, and this will interfere with your plans, then I see little point in considering any long-term solution. There's a number of ways to end a pregnancy in that book."
That was a solution that offered no chance for her to change her mind, Lily considered. Once it was done, it was done. Although Severus said it calmly, he had prefaced it with the proviso that she did not feel something for him. Without Severus, she'd be dead. He had been her friend for close to ten years. Her world used to revolve around Petunia. Sure, she had been young and Tunie was her big sister who knew everything. Then Severus popped out of a bush and talked about all sorts of other things that turned out to be true. Severus still knew a lot of stuff that he had to tell her. Some of it was dull, but he was sure to have plenty more interesting things. They could also have some fun, even though Sev was too cautious.
Love though? Lily knew Severus loved her. He didn't just say it casually. She recalled that month when she might have been turned into a werewolf. He did not care if she was cursed or not. He had not retaliated when she ignored him at school either. Severus would probably do almost anything for her, if he had a chance to discuss it. It was that darned Slytherin in him that got him questioning the inconsequential things. Or wait … maybe not. He had dressed up as a woman for Halloween for her … or was that his idea? Sometimes when they agreed, it was hard to tell who originally thought of something. Weren't Slytherins supposed to be selfish and sneaky, stealing credit and whatever else wasn't nailed down? Severus was nothing like that. Well, maybe as far as the Marauders were concerned, but they had it coming. She didn't even think he bothered with Lupin, even though the opportunity was right in front of him at Hogwarts.
Did Lily love Severus? She supposed she did. Not wildly and passionately, running across the top of a picturesque seaside cliff to jump into his arms sort of business. That was a movie type thing. She did like the way he touched her and all their stuff in and out of the bedroom. By now, she considered Severus to be her best friend, but was not sure if she was his. Sev kept secrets from her. Though on the other hand, he was sort of boring because when he told her what he was doing, he actually did it. He did not lie to her. From listening to Petunia and her mother over their shows, that seemed to be a big problem with men.
"So uh … now I really have to make a decision then?"
After a pause, Severus responded, "Having children and marriage can be separate. You really want nothing to do with me after the end of June?"
"What? No. I never said that, Sev. I'm not sure what I'm doing, and you seem to have some direction."
"Nothing is truly finalized. I've suggested to the one potions master that I become his apprentice though I keep considering leaving England since things are volatile with all the killings and lawlessness."
"But your house is here, those new places, well, new to you, Gringotts, and everyone you know."
"Most people I know, I do not like. Gringotts is not restricted to this country either."
"Oh, right. Um, I don't want to make a hasty decision about this. I'll look over that book tonight. Can you come round early tomorrow? I'll tell mum you're coming for breakfast."
"All right." Severus had some things planned for tomorrow, but this was definitely more important. What would he do if Lily said no to everything … the baby, marriage, him? He had not planned on her final decision for at least three months, maybe four. He wasn't ready for Lily to say it was over between them now. This summer, it would be easier. He wouldn't see her every day at school.
When he went home he gave a brief thought to Summerby. Severus had nothing with her other than conversations about school related things. She might only be pleasant to him because he was head boy now. He had not noticed her in prior years so there was no attraction between them.
He had been considering that Lily would tell him 'yes' then insist on a long engagement in order to give herself time to change her mind. That would be an improvement on things since Lily would have to admit Severus was more than her friend from school. Not a great improvement, but at least he thought that would make him feel better.
So what if she said some form of 'no' tomorrow? Would that finally give him to courage to tell Lily that he was tired of it? His ultimatum about his marriage proposal had not resulted in anything. She had called his bluff. Not in so many words, but there should be a reasonable and logical limit to how long someone could consider that a valid offer, especially since all the conditions she listed had been met.
It was a sleepless night of thinking and considering different responses that he could give to everything he could imagine Lily saying. Then he sunk into the same rut and considered every mistake he had made since the day he first met Lily on the playground.
By dawn, Severus had surmised there was a defect in his personality, along with everything else that was wrong with him, that kept him close to people that hurt him. He could consider Lily sort of like his parents. That was the best similarity he could come up with. He did not choose his parents, they did not get all weepy and hug each other, but nonetheless he loved them. That must be how he loved Lily. She could say terrible things and hurt him like no one else could, but it was difficult to consider taking revenge on her other than with small annoyances to try to assert himself and validate his self-worth. It would sound ludicrously pathetic to anyone, but that's the best way he could express it. Luckily, he had no one to talk to. Unless he talked to Phi … and he never wanted to turn into one of those wizards that talked to their nonspeaking familiar all the time.
It did cross his mind as he walked up to their back door that Mrs. Evans could hate him now too. Lily's mother did not behave any differently though when she let him in. Did that mean Lily felt there was no reason to tell her anything?
Lily was already downstairs at the kitchen table. Not really eating, just pushing her porridge around while she waited for Sev.
He joined her at the table since Petunia was no longer living here or currently visiting. She'd have a definite opinion regarding this situation. Lily's greeting was subdued, and he noticed she kept glancing at him before turning her attention back to her bowl whenever he looked her way.
Severus wished she'd say something one way or the other. Lily was not looking at him as though she hated him, but if fingers were going to be pointed, there were others that should be listed first. Perhaps they needed to continue using the one-time contraception charms if Dumbledore messed with the more convenient longer-lasting ones. Who would have guessed Dumbledore would have lifted the school-wide charm? That's why Severus was so suspicious of Lily's charm failing.
On the other hand, if they were having a baby, getting married or both, wouldn't Lily have mentioned something to her mother? Why was he even still thinking of those options … and without one of those damned cheering charms of Lily's to give him false hope? No, she more than likely decided to brew one of the potions. How did those even work? Did it disappear without any mess or pain, or did something pour out of her?
Seeing a thoughtful expression on his face, Lily murmured, "I thought I should discuss it with you, before we involve mum."
"Involve?"
Since Severus thought of how messy things could be, he did not respond with the positive tone that Lily was hoping for.
"Yes," she replied, hardening her look into a glare. From Sev's confused look, Lily wondered how he could be clueless. Annoyed, Lily stood and demanded, "Come on."
"All right," he replied, but took the time to bring half-eaten bowl to the sink, rather than immediately following Lily out of the kitchen.
Lily only went as far as the lounge to wait for him to catch up, then whispered, "You do know what I'm talking about, right?"
He nodded, then added, "But not your decision."
"I'm getting to that. From what I was reading, is this book even … legitimate?"
"I think so. We can wait to check the school library."
"No, I …" Lily then stopped to sigh before continuing, "it's just that it warns that there's a chance, depending upon how frail my constitution is, that I might no longer be able to have children, if I go messing about."
"That would be worth some further research," Severus said by way of agreement. He thought the frail constitution part might refer to the more inbred purebloods who could barely have one child, even with the aid of magic. There was also a small part of him that snidely wanted to give Lily the choice between having his repulsive child or no children. If he suggested such a thing out loud, she'd probably angrily decide none.
"Maybe not. I mean … there's you … there's me … and we get along. I can't think of meeting someone else that … I don't know, I mean I am friendly, but you're dependable, you know?"
Dependable? He was dependable? Severus was disappointed that Lily chose that as his strongest virtue.
"So, I was thinking that even with your quirks, I should not be doing so much thinking about what if sometime in the future out of the blue some fellow turns into my Prince Charming because you already humor me, when I'm in that kind of mood."
"Either tell the truth, Lily, or start lying and give me a few compliments."
"I'm getting to that … and I will not be lying."
"At the moment it sounds like you are telling me I scored well on one of those magazine quizzes of Tunie's."
Lily laughed. Those were the stupidest things, and any idiot could guess what was the best answer to each question.
"What I'm trying to say, Sev, is that you're my best friend, are mature most of the time, don't go off doing toerag things, unless I don't know about it, and that's what I love about you."
Severus waited. Lily loved that he was not a Gryffindor? That he did not spend the day worrying over his quidditch team? That he would rather read a book than polish his broom? That he did not find a joke shop to be heaven on earth? If only all witches found those traits desirable, he would be the most popular wizard in England, nay, the entire breadth of the British Empire.
"Well?" Lily asked.
Sarcastically he replied, "Your compliments have left me speechless."
Lily huffed, "What? I'm saying that you are a great guy, you numbskull. What are you going to say next? I know? I'm telling you that you and I are good together, and I want us to be together always. How's that?"
Pushing his luck, Severus replied, "I know."
"So can I tell mum that we're getting married, since you don't seem to have anything constructive to say?"
"Should we make it seem a little more romantic for her? Your matter of fact attitude is off putting."
"Romantic?"
"A sort of formal repetition of the proposal, flowers, and a ring? I can even do the kneeling thing for you."
"Nah, I think she knows what's going on already."
His eyebrows rose. How could anyone know? He barely knew, and Lily couldn't say anything of value.
"We should tell her, just to confirm she's got it right. So I know … are there any details yet about when and where?"
"Uh … I've only made up my mind, Sev."
"All right, but while you're doing the list, I would like a pressure cooker."
"You don't get anything. You're the groom."
"I don't get anything? Why not?"
"It's tradition, Sev."
Severus frowned. He had to buy gifts when he attended weddings, but now that he was getting married, those people that he invited gave him nothing? He felt cheated. It was perfectly fine with him if this would be the last wedding he ever attended.
He trudged behind Lily as she went back to the kitchen. Now that her mind was made up, Lily made it sound like something he didn't even recognize when she broke the news to her mother. The only bit of truth was Lily admitting that she was pregnant … and possibly the part of them getting married. Lily had time to change her mind since it was not happening right now.
Having been disappointed so many times, Severus did not catch the excitement that Lily infused into the discussion with her mother.
It did not take long for it to turn into an argument. Not about him as the groom, but Lily's ideas. Severus could not say much of anything since he agreed with Mrs. Evans. If Lily wanted to be married in roughly three months, or the weekend following graduation, planning a large wedding was out of the question. His only contribution to that discussion was that Lily needed to study for NEWTs at the same time.
The idea of getting married in the same church as Petunia, well, Mrs. Evans was not amenable to that either. The church gives the date, not the bride. She could call and see what they had available, but the bigger problem was Severus. He did not practice any religion. Lily countered that he could lie, but Severus pointed out that the Snapes lived in this town.
Lily started the conflict with her mother over the number of guests, but it transformed into involving Severus.
"Lily, you need to realize it costs money to afford hundreds of people -"
"Petunia had -"
"Your father is no longer with us. I have some money, but I can't spend -"
"Severus has money. Right, Sev?"
"I suppose," he replied.
"See, mum?"
"The bride's family -"
"I don't care about that tradition crap if it prevents me from having a nice wedding."
"Lily -"
Severus interrupted, "I don't mind, Mrs. Evans. You have seemed like family to me for years now."
"Thank you, Severus, but you aren't understanding -"
"Mum, he said yes. Leave it alone."
"The expenses can grow astronomically," Mrs. Evans continued. "Things are quite expensive for the type of wedding you have in mind."
"Mum, stop. Can I use Petunia's guest list to start my own, and then I'll add to it?"
"I can understand friends of the family, Lily, but with you away so often, I don't think most of your sister's guests would expect to be invited to your wedding."
"I'm only having one wedding, mum, and I want a good one."
Running out of patience, her mother responded, "Then you shouldn't have gone messing around and now need to rush things, young lady. All it takes to get married is a few forms, tests, filing the application and a fee. Shouldn't you save some money for the baby, rather than blowing it to throw a big party where you're the center of attention?"
What tests? Severus asked himself.
Lily crossed her arms over her chest and complained, "Why aren't you happy for me?"
Severus sighed.
"You're not doing this in the proper order," reminded her mother. "I'm against the idea of a big wedding because by then, your dress will show off why you're getting married."
"Not if I wear robes."
"Aren't you inviting muggles?" Severus asked. That's who was at Petunia's wedding.
"Yes," Lily replied in an annoyed tone. Wasn't Severus paying attention?
"You need to decide one way or the other. Robes are not worn at muggle weddings."
Lily made a face, then said, "Stop trying to mess me up, Sev."
"I'm only pointing out that you are making hasty decisions."
"Oh, so now I'm being hasty, am I?"
"If you plan too much without realizing that there may be something you overlooked, you aren't going to be happy."
Mrs. Evans reiterated, "I am against the idea of a big wedding, Lily. Anyone with sense will realize later that you were somewhat pregnant at the time."
"This is 1978, not 1878."
Severus saw little point in staying to listen to the two of them argue, so he interrupted, "I'll go then?"
"What?" Lily demanded.
"It appears the general scope of this is in question … I don't know much about muggle weddings, having only attended one."
"Do you have a rough idea of the number of guests you'd invite, Severus?" Mrs. Evans asked.
"You two are the muggles I know, oh, and Petunia and Vernon."
"That's all?"
"Come on, Sev, you can invite your friends. They can try to act normal."
"I know you'd like to invite the Wilkes too, but you may want to check the date against the lunar calendar."
"Oh, right. I can't ask Mary to be in the wedding party, if she's not feeling well. Who else, Sev?"
"Around muggles? Uh, I don't think I'd want Upsilon even around wizards if he refuses to speak English. He's moody and sometimes tries to start arguments to amuse himself."
"The Ancient Rune nutter?"
Severus shrugged, then added, "Prof. Abstractus cannot be around muggles. He's too obvious. And I'm not sure about Mr. Filch."
Lily's mouth dropped open. Was Severus joking about inviting Mr. Filch to their wedding? "The caretaker?" she clarified.
"He did teach me things when he did not have to, and sent a nice letter when my mother died."
Getting worried that Severus really had no one to invite, Lily asked, "What about the people you write to? Longbottom?"
"I suppose. We did go to his wedding. I'm not sure about Lovegood. He may also be one to start some verbal confrontation with other guests."
Lily nodded. So the Wilkes and the Longbottoms. That was four. Four more than his initial zero. She knew Sev could do better. Mum was probably aggravating him. "All right, can you work on a better list, Sev?"
"That's it."
"No, it isn't."
"Then why are you bothering to ask me?"
"Because you haven't mentioned any of your friends."
"Who? I have you, but it seems you don't even know me at times. I have no other friends."
"Every Friday and Saturday ..."
"Other students study with the head boy and head girl, at your insistence. They are getting something out it, and it's not my friendship."
"Not Mary and Malcolm."
"She owes me a life debt. If I don't protect her from her own Gryffindor stupidity, she'll end up in Azkaban or dead."
"What … you … you're helping her because of that debt?"
"You'd be upset if anything else happened to her."
With a huff, Lily dismissively replied, "If you're going to be this way, you might as well go."
"All right."
"Wait …" she cried when he got to the door. "When are you coming back? And when can I look at the houses?"
" What do you mean houses?"
"So you don't go selling the one I want to live in."
Severus looked confused as he repeated her rephrased question back to her, "Where you're living? Where are you going to live? Before or … you don't plan on living with me after we're married?"
"What are you talking about?"
"I live at Spinner's End, when I'm not in school. I was going to live at Damocles' during my apprenticeship, but I was going to write him about this … change … about living at home instead. If he doesn't want me as an apprentice, that'll be fine with me, but I thought you would live with me. If you're not, then why are we bothering with this?"
Mrs. Evans was as confused as Severus about this and crossed her arms over her chest to hear how her daughter was going to explain this. If Lily did not want to live with Severus, she could live here, but if she did not plan to live with Severus, why marry him?
"Stop being a ninny, I'm talking about those places you inherited with the rude house elves."
"I'm not living there."
"Not now, but you could."
"But I won't," he replied in the same snotty tone Lily just used.
"Why not?"
"I'm going to sell them all. I don't want them."
"But where are you going to live?"
"I didn't need a place to live … till this came up," he added a wave of his hand in Lily's direction. "We can rent someplace, if you don't want to live in Spinner's End."
"Rent? But you own other houses."
"And I am telling you that I will never live in them."
Mrs. Evans interjected, "Perhaps all the wedding planning should be put aside till this is settled? If you are only marrying Severus because you have the intention of living at some posh location, Lily, ..."
"Mum, I don't know if they're posh yet. Severus won't even let me see them. As your fiancée, it does not bode well that you are keeping things from me."
"My fiancée of barely an hour yet. You are not exactly oozing sincerity on this subject either. If I do not want to live in a house that belonged to murderers, and that every sneak thief that fancies himself above the law breaks in to ransack, please consider that my opinion may have some merit, rather than some punishment I am meting out to make your life a living hell."
Mrs. Evans was happy Severus showed some backbone with Lily. She understood perfectly what he was saying. Why couldn't Lily try to compromise? He did offer to rent someplace while he was continuing his education.
"I'm not living in Spinner's End," Lily announced. Some of what Severus said did make sense, but she was not going to agree to live like the Snapes.
"It is close to this address," he reminded her.
"So?"
"In less than a year, with the baby, wouldn't you want to be near your mother?"
"I can always come here for a visit."
"Babies have a lot of things to haul around, Lily. It would be simpler for me to visit you."
"You hardly drive now, mum."
"Let me write Damocles. This may be a moot point."
"Wait, were we going to get my ring?"
"Can it wait till this afternoon?" Severus inquired. He needed a break from Lily's demands.
"Yes, it can."
Lily was already recrossing her arms over her chest after Severus left, when her mother said, "He could still call it off, Lily."
"What? Why would Sev call it off? He's asked me to marry him for years. You don't know anything about it."
"Just because he was willing to marry you before you got pregnant does not indicate that you were willing to reciprocate and marry him while he was poor."
"I will no longer be pregnant by Christmas, mum, being poor was the least of my objections. We're in school, we both have plans to further our education to become experts in our fields, and I knew there were had to be more mature wizards then the lot I met at Hogwarts."
Mrs. Evans had already lifted her hand to her mouth and repeated, "By Christmas? That's right. First Christmas already. This is happening so fast, Lily."
"First … oh, yeah, well, don't worry about me moving too far away or anything."
"It's a sensible suggestion. Maybe if this fellow insists Severus live at his home during the week, or for a few months, it would be best for you to continue living here."
Lily's eyebrows crept up as the corner of her mouth drew up in a sneer. "Live here? If I have a husband, I don't need to live here. Sev said he'd rent someplace. What would people think? I'm going to get big … I can't live here."
"I don't think Severus knows anything about babies, Lily. As a matter of fact, you don't know much either. You never had any jobs watching other children, like Petunia."
"She stood around, talking with her girlfriends at the park, while they played."
Mrs. Evans shook her head and sighed. Lily was going to be a trial, both for a wedding and having a baby. She didn't know how Severus put up with this.
By the time the two of them returned to Hogwarts, Lily had an engagement ring of noticeable size on her finger. It did not need to flash different colors, sing, or spout poetry to draw attention to it.
She had also decided a small wedding might be best since she did not like most of the people that Petunia had invited to hers. If she restricted the muggles to her family, she could wear loose-fitting robes to cover her abdomen and invite her friends, and whoever she considered to be favorable acquaintances of Sev's.
Severus voiced his opinion that this Damocles fellow seemed a bit lax, since he replied favorably that Severus could live wherever he liked. Ilkley Moor was within apparition distance of their homes so Severus would not have to rent someplace far from her mother's. Mrs. Evans still felt they could live with her until things were further settled, but Lily was insistent that she was old enough to take care of a house.
Between them and a few charms, they had also determined that the headmaster purposely messed with the anti-pregnancy magic around Valentine's Day. Lily did not admit to Severus that she had not cast a longer lasting charm since this was really all Dumbledore's fault.