Minerva McGonagall arrived back at Hogwarts early. Mr. Snape's letter arrived yesterday. He let her know that Evans's father had died suddenly, and Lily would probably write herself when she felt up to it.
In the meantime, the young man had written that Lily had been enthusiastic over the various projects she wanted to undertake as Head Girl, but may be slow to implement them due to her loss. If it was all right, Severus was willing to do his best to assist getting them started, until Lily was feeling ready to take over.
They also had three pairs of Wigtown Wanderers tickets purchased for upcoming games, and he sent them to Minerva as both a gift for agreeing to be their faculty sponsor, and because he did not want them to go to waste if she or someone she knew could use them.
Since the first game was this afternoon, Minerva thought Albus might like a nice surprise and join her. After unpacking and stowing her carpet bag, Minerva went to the headmaster's office with the two tickets already imagining how delighted Albus would be for an afternoon out with such beautiful weather forecast.
Minerva had not counted on Horace's return. He was in an armchair in Albus's office, with a small table on either side. One stocked with libations, the other with nibbles. Horace waved something resembling a white tablecloth, and its purpose became clear to Minerva when he blew his nose on it.
"Minerva, you've returned early," Albus commented.
"So has Horace, it appears."
"Well … things didn't work out … but there's still hope that it will get patched up," Albus enthusiastically suggested.
With a dramatic sniff, that was rather disgusting sounding to Minerva, Horace woefully said, "I'll always have you, Albus. You're a rock. A veritable rock. You never have these sorts of trouble. You just give that cocky grin and a wink, everything's sorted, and it's back to the boudoir to make up."
"What …?" Albus sputtered. One of the portraits cackled, but no one was caught awake when Albus looked around. "Horace, old boy, I think you … I'm hear to listen to your heartbreak, and perhaps suggest some remedial -"
"Drinking and eating?" Minerva suggested.
"Well, there's comfort in that," Albus continued, "but Horace is crushed. He finds the woman for him after all this time, and she turns him out due to mere rumors."
"It was Rita Skeeter," Horace hissed. "Never showed any promise at school. Heart of a barracuda. Still single, you know. Jealous. Simply consumed with constant jealousy of everyone around her."
"If I recall correctly, it was not everyone, but one of your favorites, Bellatrix Black," Minerva reminded him.
"A real shame," Horace lamented. "So much talent, but when one has talent that abundantly, the wrong sort of people take notice."
Minerva's nostrils flared and the corner of her lip curled up. Bellatrix Black an innocent victim? Horace was a total ass. "So Albus, you are busy this afternoon comforting Horace then?"
"I suppose. Was there something you needed, Minerva?"
"I received a pair of quidditch tickets from Mr. Snape for this afternoon. Soothing a distraught Horace is more important. I'll nip down to the greenhouses and see if Pomona's about, or perhaps Rubeus or Argus. Whoever I meet up with first."
"Snape?" repeated Horace in disbelief, then nastily added, "You might as well take Argus then. He's so happy he found another squib to hang around with."
"Horace -" exclaimed Albus.
"Calling Hogwarts' Head Boy a squib now? Really, Horace. Besides I received these tickets through a sad turn of events. Miss Evans's father passed, and they were already purchased. Quite forthcoming that he'd rather not see them go to waste if I knew someone that could use them."
Minerva enjoyed the look of shock on Horace's face before saying, "I guess I'll see you two later then. Buck up, Horace, there's plenty of other rich widows in the sea."
"Very well, Minerva. I would have loved to come with you, but as you can see," Albus said, "Horace is very sensitive to rejection."
Horace was still speechless as Minerva exited, but then was able to catch enough breath to gasp questioningly, "She's joking?"
"A jest about a student's parent's death …?" Albus saw Horace shake his head negatively so tried, "About quidditch tickets?" After another shake, he asked, "Then what?"
"Snape … Head Boy?"
"Surely you knew that Horace. That was decided months ago. That really was unkind of you to call Mr. Snape a squib. I really have to take objection to that," Albus stated, his tone growing steely. His sister used to be called a squib. When used as an insult, it was a terrible thing to say.
"Surely he bewitched the lot of you in some way. I mean come now … Head Boy? Severus Snape? He's nothing."
"See here, Horace. I don't know in what way you think Mr. Snape has slighted you, but it stops here. I heard from Atlas that a second discovery will be accredited to Mr. Snape in The Practical Potioneer, and I only received this morning a glowing letter of thanks from another Potions Master who employed Mr. Snape and Miss Evans over the summer."
"Absolute poppycock. The scoundrel looked up the name of a British Potions Master and forged a letter. And Atlas, well … he may know his subject, but he knows absolutely nothing about Potions."
Albus pursed his lips, let out a slow breath and intoned, "I think you should leave my office, Horace. I am not feeling kindly towards you at the moment."
Although previously inconceivable, was Horace one of the enemies identified by Augury?
By evening, Severus had gotten so worked up that he wrote an angry letter to Lily. He'd stuff it up her owl's arse the next morning, or that's what he had planned the whole time he was writing it.
Now that it was folded over and he had scribbled just 'Lily' on it, this was not a good time to be sending her letters accusing her of being a bossy know-it-all that he was tired of having toy around with him.
Mr. Evans was not even dead a week yet. When she came over to Spinner's End, Lily might have been looking to disregard that by being a … total jerk towards him.
What the hell was that? Severus thought as he gave the radio a glance. The music was odd. Some muggle music on this station was indecipherable, but he understood the lilting lyrics to this, or at least what the words were. Was it some sort of code? It sounded like every verb was replaced by the word 'jamming'. Severus supposed the music was nice, in its own way, but the lyrics made no sense at all. Perhaps it was religious was what he concluded after he heard 'We're jamming in the name of the Lord'. That sounded like what they were saying at Lily's church.
The radio then earned a dark glare as the song concluded and the man started talking about the weather, without saying what that just was. How did that muggle know to only say who or what a song was when Severus did not care?
Severus muttered to himself about asinine muggles who only wanted to let listeners know when the Beatles played. They were in freaking Britain. Everyone knew those songs. Even his father recognized them. Pain in the ass muggles, is what he was complained about as he cast incendio on the letter to Lily.
After spending the afternoon fuming over Severus asking her to leave, when all she was there to do was make sure he was all right and obviously he wasn't, Lily was not amenable to Petunia innocently inquiring of Vernon about their visit to Spinner's End over dinner. If Tunie wanted her husband to tell her something, it didn't have to be in front of mum.
Vernon answered slowly, because he knew his wife did not like her sister's friend. "Uh … well, I think your mother may be right on a few things. He is seventeen and alone over there. You did say it was a rough neighborhood that way, though being daylight, it seemed passable."
"Full of drug addicts," Petunia informed him. "Filthy, was it?"
"It's next to the river so the odor was not good. His house was tidier outside than others, no real garden growing, but his kitchen was simple and clean."
"Clean?" Petunia repeated.
"Yes, not sanitary like here or at home, since he does not have anything new, but the walls were a solid white. That's what gave the illusion of clean, I suppose."
"White?" Mrs. Evans asked. "They were yellow last time. I told him the color would not age well. Did he say that's why he changed it?"
"No, we did not discuss that, " Vernon said. Maybe that was the magical thing. Snape could change the color of his walls at whim.
"Mum, leave Sev alone about that," Lily interjected. "He's a boy. He shouldn't care about what color things are."
"Lily, you said he may be interested in selling that house. White may look better."
"He's not going to be able to sell it for anything without electricity or water."
"He doesn't have electricity or running water?" Vernon asked. "Is that even allowed?"
"No one cares what goes on down that way, as long as it stays there," Petunia stated.
"Petunia, that's not true. Those are older houses that were put up in a rush when the factories first opened because the demand for housing was so high. I doubt they gave little thought to the future of those buildings," Mrs. Evans explained, "or even about all the changes that were about to come to make homes more comfortable and convenient."
"What does he do for money?" Vernon asked, "Other than that summer job you two had."
"I don't know," Lily said. "He got a bit from his father having life insurance at work."
"Oh," Mrs. Evans gasped. "Did Severus say how much he put into the trip? I canceled the hotel reservation, but he paid my husband cash towards that."
In disbelief Petunia gasped, "He paid?"
"Yes," snipped Lily, "and got a passport, and oh … the portkeys too. They're up in my closet. I don't think those are returnable for a refund."
"He could still go on his own if he wanted to," Petunia commented.
"Why would he?" Lily asked. "I picked the place."
"That's no surprise."
"Girls -"
"What?" Petunia replied, "I'm just saying, I am not surprised that Princess Lily chose where you were going."
Lily rolled her eyes, then defended Severus, "Sev picked a nice place too. He wanted to go to Greece. It's just that I wanted to have fun, and Severus would prefer to look at antiquities."
A gleam entered Petunia's eye as she asked, "Does he even know what Walt Disney World is?"
Rita was torn. Her article was to appear in the 'Back to School' issue of Witch Weekly, but not as the cover story. However, this issue sold very well on the news stand every year so it could be seen by more than just the idle witches subscribing to get fresh paper for the bottoms of their owl cages.
Bartemius Crouch Sr. did not read Witch Weekly, but Mrs. Crouch did. He thought she was merely going to complain about him staying late at the office and missing dinner, however that was not the case this evening, and she called in Junior to confirm some of the facts in the article. The only thing that was reassuring was Junior doubted any member of the Hogwarts staff would offer to make an arrangement with him because his father had more influence than all of them put together.
Walburga Black was scandalized, but at least her boys were Blacks, and no old witch would dare to take advantage of her handsome sons. She should have realized it sooner. Slughorn had taught at Hogwarts when she was a student there. Dumbledore too. They had their favorites and in hindsight, it should have been obvious. At the time, she was only an innocent school girl. What had she known about this sort of thing? Her husband, Orion, had been the only wizard that she had known in the marital sense, until this gigolo had seduced her by using her widowly grief against her. Regulus was absolutely right. No Black should allow someone to treat her that way.
Mrs. Cresswell questioned her son, Dirk, incessantly before writing a letter to Filius Flitwick regarding Horace Slughorn and his blatant favoritism of her son, and how he insisted that Dirk stay there over the Christmas holidays for 'extra tutoring'.
Poppy Pomfrey clutched her chest when she got around to reading her subscription copy of Witch Weekly, which had followed her on holiday to Venice. She was not named in the article and it vaguely referred to arrangements and gratitude in exchange for a leg up, which was not something she had ever offered to Severus Snape, but from these quotes from Horace, one could think faculty were offering students favors in exchange for illicit activities.
Pomona Sprout and Minerva McGonagall shared an issue and discussed it, before consulting with Argus. This may be why he was so easy on Mr. Snape.
Argus was appalled by what he read, but he did recall that woman reporter snooping around the school months ago to get this photo of Snape grouting tile.
This Skeeter woman had been here on the headmaster's invitation.
As far as Argus was concerned, there were punishments and than there were punishments. A good beating never hurt anyone. This was disgusting so he ambled along after the two ladies to clarify his part in this sordid affair.
Horace Slughorn did not subscribe nor read Witch Weekly. It was a magazine for witches, despite Albus nattering on about recipes and knitting. He should have suspected something was up when Albus flooed him and summoned him to his office.
Yes, summoned, instead of kindly inviting him. The reason was obvious as he stepped out of the grate. Minerva and Pomona. Two witches who should mind their own business.
And what was Filch doing up here? Come to complain about the dungeon ceiling in the potions classroom again?
Really, the whole lot of them were jealous of him. In a little while, he'd patch things up with Walburga, and he wouldn't look back.
Albus said he was quoted in the magazine. Horace protested that he never read the tattle sheets, but Albus insisted he look at it, handing it to him, while jabbing his finger at the particular quote.
"So? I may have said something similar to this."
"It's not taken out of context?" Albus hinted.
"What?" Horace asked, and then looked above and below where he was mentioned. "I … I guess other staff members could have their favorite students, but none have my connections," he said, broadly hinting that Minerva and Pomona were out of their league.
Seeing their reaction to his statement, he flipped back a page to see a photo of Snape dressed shabbily and doing something for Filch. What did that have to do with anything?
Rita Skeeter wrote this. What did she write that involved Snape and him? Other than Slytherin house, which one quarter of British, Welsh, Scottish and Irish wizards and witches had in common, there was nothing.
The article was the idiotic fluff for witches that was usually in this publication.
Some teachers saw promise in students, and recognizing it may have attempted to duplicate Horace's methods. No one could, of course. Snape had never been one of his.
One of these two – Minerva or Pomona - thought to get a little something on the side and botched it badly. How was that his fault? Back when Horace was Snape's age, though he was much better looking, if some old witch tried to suggest such a thing, he'd have to consider that perhaps he would prefer Filch too. Minerva was probably a tough, old bird in bed too.
Taking a stab at what this meeting was about, Horace suggested, "So, we're going to claim Snape lied to save one of your asses? I supposed I'd take any of you over that talentless shit so you have my support. No one would believe anyone could help him out after school, unless you found he was talented in some other way … you know what I mean? Apprentice him until he got too old for it?"
Argus suggested, "I think I could jury rig one of the old thumbscrews for use elsewhere." The mud splattering, giggling youth grew up to be filthier wizards. If they had been punished proper like when they were younger, there'd be no He Who Must Not Be Named, Death Eaters, corrupt Ministry officials, and polluter of youth that besmirched his hallways.
Lily's twice daily letters to Severus only received a couple of replies. Short replies that said nothing. He answered her questions in as little words as possible.
Petunia and Vernon left Sunday morning so Vernon could go to work on Monday.
Her note to Severus suggested he should come over for dinner Saturday to say good-bye to the Dursleys received an odd reply. One word 'really?' was surrounded by curlicue doodles that spread out to fill the entire parchment. Since when did Sev idly doodle? He did not show up for Saturday dinner, or any time on Sunday.
Lily had been angry at him, but her temper cooled. There may actually be a reason for him to act this way. He looked unwell at Spinner's End. She doubted he had taken up drinking, but Lily had not left the kitchen to investigate further. He had not smelled of liquor. Did her father dying remind him of his parents? It was not as clearcut as Lily did not go to his father's funeral, if there was one, so he would not go to her dad's.
She knew her mum tried to put on a brave face through all this, and Petunia was a double-sided coin. Both of them wanted to take over to give mum less to worry about, and Petunia really wanted to take over so it was done the way Petunia wanted it done. As long as things were getting done Tunie's way, her sister was pleased and things flowed smoothly. Her only concession on Severus was to allow Vernon to escort Lily to his house to make sure he was eating. Probably because mum kept mentioning it as more food kept showing up at their house.
To Lily, Petunia's assessment was harsh. Severus was her chum from school, not a family member. It was unfortunate that he had no other friends, parents, clothes, food, money, hobbies or other pursuits, but he could not be underfoot, hanging around their house at the moment. He had no right to be angry since a derelict, such as him, should be happy for any notice at all.
Lily was furious, and could not figure out how Petunia could get all that out in rapid hisses just before mum reentered the room. Lily was glad Tunie went home. A week of her sister was too much for Lily anymore. Vernon was welcome to her.
Although Lily thought she got up early on Monday, Severus was already in the kitchen with mum when she got downstairs.
Mum's eyes were red-rimmed again, rather than the constant pink and puffy look they constantly had in the past week.
She glared at Severus, but he looked puzzled, rather than sitting there with that gloating look he had whenever he embarrassed the Marauders. Not that Severus had ever picked on her mother, but sometimes Lily lapsed to believing all those lies about Sev and the Dark Arts, and fancied Severus the enemy of Gryffindors everywhere, lifting an eyebrow cockily, getting caught with that slight smirk and then folding his arms over his chest as he surveyed the Marauders' predicament. Not really Dark Arts to have their toe nails grow uncontrollably, was it?
"Morning," she said to see if something became apparent.
"Lily," Severus replied.
"Good morning, dear. Let me get your tea."
Severus had a teacup and a bowl. His hair had been washed in the past day or two. Lily thought he still looked unhealthy. What had he been up to over there, besides changing the color of the walls?
"How have you been, Severus?" Lily asked.
With another confused look, Severus glanced at Lily. It was a typical question that was politely asked, but normally Lily did not speak to him that way. Other than her mother still being emotional, what else was going on? "Fine," he replied, then added the standard return question, "And the two of you?"
Lily's brow furrowed. Why was Severus speaking like that? "Uh … well, holding up."
"I already told Severus he could have come back sooner, Lily. I wasn't thinking clearly and let Petunia suggest things that weren't friendly … though Severus was an absolute gentleman about it."
Several biting remarks passed through Severus's mind. He let them go. In a week and a half, he'd be back at Hogwarts, and there would be the distance both from here and time to reflect. He did not want Mrs. Evans to cry again. There were a few people that Severus would enjoy making cry, and neither Lily nor her mother were on that list. Well, Lily was not on it most of the time, and he probably would not find it enjoyable if he did make her cry. Perhaps some sort of reciprocal satisfaction for the way she treated him, but it would not make him happy.
"I said something," Lily protested.
"There were higher priorities," Severus suggested. "I was not offended."
"I was," Lily replied. "You are here all the time, Sev."
"It's all right."
Lily frowned at him. Maybe he was being polite for her mum's sake. She did not want her mother upset any more than was necessary, so she'd wait until later to talk to Severus about the past week. In a way her anger at Petunia and Severus took her mind off her father. She realized it was self-centered, but it was how she felt.
The paper and mail arrived while Lily ate while sneaking glances at Severus at the counter to see if he made some sign while mum wasn't watching. He didn't have to sit over there anymore. It wouldn't be disrespectful for him to take Petunia's chair.
Only the newspaper was for Lily. The two other owls had mail for Severus. He muttered in disgust, "Why are people writing me? I already went to the Post Office yesterday."
After a year of correspondence, Severus recognized Longbottom's squared off penmanship, indicative of what a blockhead he was. He suspected that the auror-in-training spent his Sundays composing his weekly letter, then charmed enough copies for all his correspondents to provide their Frank and Alice update.
He opened the other letter first.
"What's wrong, Sev?"
"It's that Gumboil fellow from Law Enforcement. He wants me to come to the Ministry this week to answer questions."
"Did you do anything last week?"
"No, I was home most of the time. I would guess if I was in trouble, he'd come to me, rather than inviting me to visit him."
"Maybe it's Potter."
"He should concentrate on quidditch. Cannons still at the bottom of the league?"
Lily turned to the back of the paper and looked. "Yeah, even with Perfect Potter, able to play all seven positions at once, they still are."
"He's saving himself for England. World Cup's next summer."
Lily laughed. Potter did claim that he'd be busy after graduation because he'd be leading England to the World Cup in '78. He promised to send her a ticket. "How does the World Cup work?"
"What do you mean?"
"I know it's every four years like the Olympics, and each team represents a country."
"I don't know much more than that, but I think back in '74, it was held prior to the professional quidditch season starting so the regular players did not miss their games or something like that."
"There's a quidditch season?"
Severus nodded, "They aren't playing all year long. There's an off-period where they are recruiting, trading, and training so there's still a reason to talk about it."
"Yeah, 'cause it's always in the paper and the boys never shut up about it."
Severus shrugged. He knew enough about the Wanderers to get him through a conversation, but he had no plans to discuss them daily unless someone else brought up the subject, and there was something new to discuss since the last time he conversed with that individual. Some dunderheads lacked originality and repeated the same thing every time they talked about quidditch.
"Are you going today?"
"I guess I could. Did you need anything while I was in London?"
"Can't I come with you?"
"It might take a while," Severus replied with a pointed look at Mrs. Evans. She'd be alone soon enough when Lily went back to school, and he did not need Lily to hold his hand. If it was a situation where he needed to lie, though he did not foresee it, Lily was not a good liar. She was more of an indignant demander.
"Can it wait till this afternoon at least? I haven't talked to you in over a week."
"All right."
"So what have you been up to? You said you stayed home."
"I'm working on a new arithmancy project. I also cleaned out my parents' bedroom and the upstairs hall, making room for a small upstairs lavatory."
"Uh ..." Lily stalled. Mr. Filch showed Severus a lot during detention. " … I guess big enough for a tub too?"
"Nothing lavish like school."
With a little smirk, Lily commented, "I don't know. Indoor plumbing is so twentieth century."
"What about heat, Severus? You should not have plumbing without the indoor temperature being maintained so the pipes do not freeze," Mrs. Evans advised.
"Oh … good idea. I haven't thought about that. I know the muggles were going to have to do the work because I don't understand the electricity part, nor can I connect the house to the water supply without someone noticing."
"All of that is a big investment. Perhaps you should wait till you are back at the house to make sure it's working properly?"
"Working properly?"
"Well … there's always stories. No one that I know around here. Besides, paying to heat the house while you aren't living there … it might be better to wait till next summer."
Perhaps Mrs. Evans was correct. Thinking that he would immediately receive an apprenticeship after graduation was absurd. NEWT grades might take a month or more, like OWLs. Then thinking that someone would want him with reasonable terms for an apprenticeship was that ridiculous hopefulness that made him so miserable. Hope was for fools, and Severus did not want to remain a wretched fool.
Mrs. Evans knew that a furnace was expensive, along with an electrician and a plumber. The necessary improvements would make the house in Spinner's End salable, but how could he afford the expense prior to a sale? His father may have had life insurance, but even if it was equal to her husband's, which she highly doubted, Severus should still be careful with that money.
Suddenly, Mrs. Evans asked, "Severus, how much do I owe you for the trip that got canceled? I don't know how much you gave my husband for the hotel. The reservation was canceled in time so there was no penalty."
Severus shrugged and replied, "It's not important, Mrs. Evans. I've probably eaten more than that in food here."
"You don't need to pay me for food, Severus."
"I'm not worried about it."
"But Sev ..." Lily protested.
"Stop bothering me about it."
It was one thing for a fellow to be a gentleman about money, but Lily felt Severus could not afford to lose money like this. It was not his fault they had not gone.
Severus repeated he was not interested in being paid back when Lily got him alone to sit on the front porch, and then added, "Leave it alone, Lily. Stop bothering me about money. I have enough. You have some now too. It should not be foremost in your thoughts."
"Foremost?" Lily repeated. "It's not. I'm just saying that I don't want you to think we're taking advantage of you because dad died."
"That's mad. I don't think that."
"What do you think?"
"Huh?"
"I'm worried about you, Sev."
"Me? What do you mean?"
"You spent a whole week alone."
"I'm all right alone."
"Without me."
"You wrote ..." Severus said, not willing to repeat the things Lily wrote to him. He read it, but he doubted she needed him.
"You look ill. Even though you had some food … I mean come on, what did you have? Cabbage? Plums?"
"There was more than that. I ate whenever I was hungry."
"You need someone to keep an eye on you, Sev."
Severus made a face. Lily was being melodramatic. He could go along with it for a while, as long as it was not too extreme. Mr. Evans dying was unexpected. Maybe she felt guilty for taking her father for granted? Severus was not sure if he even missed his father. He did miss his mother. She did not keep an eye on him though. He'd prefer Lily kept tabs on Mrs. Evans, rather than him.
"Don't you want to be together more?" she asked. "I thought we had a lovely time, even if we were working at Mould-on-the-Wold."
"Not everyone is as lenient as Moonshine."
"Why shouldn't he? We did an excellent job for him."
"He knew we were both seventeen. To him that meant something different than it does to others. I think for the remainder of the holiday, we should not upset your mother by disobeying the rules your parents already set down."
"I … no, I didn't mean that. I don't want to get caught again by my mother, or to upset her. I'm just so … I don't know … angry. I don't like the way Petunia just took over like that, and demanded you leave."
"I'd rather choose when I stand up to your sister. Your mother was upset when the two of you argued, so I took the easy way out."
"But why? You stand up to people all the time, Sev."
"Hardly all the time. I wouldn't have time for anything else, if I did."
"You know what I mean … why'd you give in that easily?"
"Petunia would not have shut up. You'd complain either way, but at least if one of you was satisfied, your mother would not have her hands full of the two of you. There was also all the crying. I don't like seeing that."
"It's not like you never cry, Sev."
"I try not to. Besides, in case you haven't noticed, Vernon's bigger than me. If it came down to it, I'm sure being newly married, he might think to solve the problem by suggesting I stay home."
"You could jinx him."
"Jinxing muggles? Is my name Potter?"
"Oh … well, if he hit you …"
"If he hit me hard enough, it would be a while before I cast anything."
"I'd jinx him then."
"I don't think that would be appropriate. You've told me for years your family comes first, Lily. I understand, and last week that took priority."
"I think of you as close as family now, Sev. I mean, you are here whenever I'm home."
"I can come over every day now that Petunia and Vernon have gone home."
"So you aren't angry like me?"
"No."
"Are you still unhappy?"
"About what?"
"When you said you were unhappy."
"I'm not happy right now. I don't think I should be."
"Is there something I could do?"
"You? Um, I don't have any expectations of anything right now from you, Lily. I prefer to listen to you because things in your life have changed. It would be unreasonable for me to expect you to … whatever you had in mind? Entertain me? What do you mean?"
"I'm not sure, Sev. You are a mystery still."
"I'm not such a mystery if you took time to think, Lily. I do feel your insults."
"What insults?"
"Any of them. You can disagree with me, but I'd prefer something constructive."
"Like what insult? You mean when you thought the goat was a sheep?"
"I don't remember you insulting me then."
"Well, maybe I don't like … oh, it's all right when you kid me because you only pick on little stuff like those stupid butterfly wings. And you haven't brought that up in months now."
"I don't need to. You constantly reminisce about the experience."
"I do not."
Severus smirked. Who brought up sugared butterfly wings today?
"You won't be smiling like that later, will you?"
"At the Ministry? Hell no."
"What do you think he wants?"
"I have no idea. I haven't been doing anything. The portkeys were legally reserved and purchased through the Ministry. I think that office also investigates illegal portkeys so it would not be Gumboil."
"Maybe Potter said we were extorting that money for Mary?"
"They wrote us first."
"Can you come back later to tell me so I don't have to wait till tomorrow morning?"
"I guess I can, if I'm free to leave."
"Did you get any other interesting letters?"
"You don't find Lovegood interesting."
Lily rolled her eyes.
"Did you write McGonagall?" Severus asked. "I wrote her a brief letter last week. I was worried that she would be disappointed in you lost interest in all your Head Girl projects, without knowing why."
"What?"
"If you are not feeling like tackling everything as soon as we set foot on Platform 9¾, I can do some things until you are in the spirit of whatever you had planned."
"Oh. I guess you're right. I haven't given any of that thought over the past week."
"Even with me supposedly being Head Boy, I don't think I could bring the same enthusiasm to your projects."
"You thought some of them up."
"Did I? I suggested we dress up and have a party to promote school spirit?"
"No, but you thought up the Wigtown Wanderers club."
"You are bringing the passion to that endeavor."
"I guess."
"So that's why I wrote her. I didn't want her to think you were flighty over Parkin."
"Oh … I guess that would look bad. Did we have any games this week?"
"Uh, I sent her our tickets too," Severus admitted. "I can purchase more if you really want to go."
"Our tickets?"
"I didn't think you'd want to go see quidditch right now, and they were already bought."
"I suppose you are right. I was only asking because I knew they were already paid for," Lily responded. She did not feel like going to a game. It was an irrational concern that they would go to waste if they did not go. Why would Severus give them to Prof. McGonagall? She suddenly laughed aloud at the thought that Sev could have invited Mr. Filch to go with him, if he wanted a staff member from school. With Mrs. Norris and Phi.
"What?"
"Nothing. I'm just thinking silly things."
Severus hoped it was about the look on Potter's face and the fine pureblooded temper tantrum he was going to have.
"Oh, have you given any more thought to our fancy dress, Sev?"
"Me? I thought you were going to choose."
"But you are really good about all that history stuff."
"There were not a lot of British female heroic warrior types running about that got their names and descriptions noted. Did you want to be Guinevere?"
"The queen who cheated on King Arthur?"
"I don't think she could help it. There was something about the first time she saw Lancelot or something like that."
"In any case, no, I don't want to dress as her."
Severus was silent while Lily thought. He didn't imagine himself as Arthur or Lancelot, but it was the goal of this to disguise himself as something he wasn't?
"Since you aren't going to be my damsel in distress, are there any adversaries you'd like to be, Sev? Maybe we can find my costume that way."
"Merlin had a couple enemies, but I think they were female."
"If I go as a male, you could be female."
Hesitantly, Severus said, "That would be unexpected. Is winning whatever prize worth it? I'd rather not be degraded. What about the three Fates with MacDonald?"
"I don't want to do anything with Mary. Just you. And they're old ladies. I want to be a hero, Sev."
"Hercules? Then I could be Zeus."
"Will we have to explain who they are? I don't want to wear a tag that reads 'Hercules'."
"If you want a potion to give you atlas strength, we can brew that. You can then perform feats of strength."
"What about you?"
"I don't think I should hurl thunderbolts in the Great Hall."
"Was Zeus the enemy of Hercules?"
"He was his father, and Hercules's opponent was Eurystheus, nominated by Hera to be a hero. It was a sort of contest for Zeus and Hera to each nominate a mortal."
"Wasn't Hera married to Zeus? Why would she choose someone over her son?"
"Hercules wasn't her son. Zeus had bastards all over the place. As many as a pureblood with a taste for muggles."
"What?"
"Zeus liked mortals. He assumed a whole bunch of forms to seduce them."
"No, the pureblood thing."
"They trick muggles into having sex with them and then take off. Some of the supposed muggleborn are really half-bloods. That's why they stopped doing any sort of family line magic as part of the curriculum at Hogwarts. Too many muggleborns were found to be very closely related to their fellow students."
"Where'd you hear that?"
"Lovegood. He knows a lot of historical magic and its uses."
Lily made a face. That crackpot Lovegood was still writing Severus? "Do you have any other source besides Lovegood?"
"Slytherins. Perhaps blokes in other houses talk about it. Maybe because I live in a muggle town, I don't see the appeal of hitting some beautiful girl with a bunch of spells and using her."
"Use them?"
"It would be simple. See one, hit her with confundus or stupefy, act like you're helping her, get her alone, and do it. What would she remember? There's also being especially charming in a club or somewhere, but that wouldn't work for me."
"Who'd want to do something like that?"
"Don't muggles take advantage of women that are drunk?"
"There are students that talk about that?"
"Yes. There were pictures that Dumbledore confiscated."
"How can you tell from a photo if it's a witch or muggle?"
"If she's going to end up dead, probably no difference, but if she'll live, usually the brutal ones are with muggles. Witches could always show up at the Ministry later."
"Dead?"
"If it's a muggle, some wouldn't care. Don't they attack muggles for fun already? Not much difference from the fun at school with tormenting the girls with their blouses and skirts, or attacking the lads when they're alone in the loo."
"They're all bum rags. Now that you're Head Boy, can't you catch them, like you did with Dumbledore?"
"Dumbledore was following us. So I knew eventually he'd be behind us in a corridor. I also had to be careful in case it was not Peeves."
"Careful?"
"If it was a person, I should not dismember or decapitate them."
Lily made a face. Rules and laws only worked when everyone obeyed them, rather than only worrying about getting caught and not being able to buy their way out of it. Secretly she was glad that Sev's father and mates killed three of their attackers. They never would have gone to Azkaban. More purebloods like Potter and Black. Even if they put a Dark Mark over the pub, proving they were Death Eaters.
Severus watched while expressions crossed Lily's face as she thought.
If the school really cared about the bullying, they'd do something. Perhaps now, it was not prudent to encourage the bullies, especially Gryffindors, as Dumbledore had in the past, but someone still had to mess up royally to get truly punished. It was nothing new. If Potter and Black had not killed another student, they boasted how they planned on becoming aurors. Authorized to bully and cast Unforgivables on whoever they didn't like the looks of, just like whenever they went in the gents at Hogwarts and started jinxing and hexing.
Lily murmured, "Sev," and took his hand. Her eyes dropped from his dark ones because he looked intense. She liked when he said what was on his mind, but sometimes Severus surprised her with the directions of his thoughts.
"Why's your hand still dark? Are these bruises or something else?"
"My hand's fine."
"No, the color's bad. Even if you don't like eating meat, it has stuff your body needs."
Severus's 'color' was always bad. People came in different colors. Why couldn't this be his? Besides the fact that he fused a dark-colored wand into his left hand. Admittedly, that would only be healthy when someone disarmed his everyday wand and he used this to save his life.
"Sev?"
"What?"
"You're not saying anything."
Severus did not know what Lily wanted him to say. He felt she should spend more time looking at healer techniques, if she was going to start an apprenticeship in a year. Lily was good at charms so it wasn't that she was not capable, just that she might not have the attitude. She wanted to be a hero and save lives. Healers could do that, but not everyday. With a sigh, he replied, "You always say my color is bad. With everything else that's wrong about my appearance, I doubt it matters."
Lily knew exactly what Severus was saying. His hair was clean now, but everything else like how it was long and just hung there, his nose, the pockmarks that did not appear on track to clear up in one year, and his lack of physique and general unhealthy look. "I did not mean it as an insult. I know that I have pinkish pale skin, but yours when we have our arms side by side, has like a yellow to it. Not olive or brown like I've seen with others. Mum thinks there may be something wrong with your liver."
"The whites of my eyes would turn yellow too, if it was my liver. My mother had the same coloring. I think it's inherited."
Her mouth quirked as she held in her response regarding alcohol poisoning. Lily had seen Severus consume some ale, but that was in the past year or so. Before that, she had never observed her friend drink. If he was an alcoholic like his parents, would he drink any sort of booze? Sev had declined mead, and did not drink much champagne at either of the weddings they had attended, and there had been glasses appearing everywhere at the Longbottoms. "I realize that, Sev, but maybe she was sick with something that you now have too."
"If you are still talking to me in a couple years, you can practice your healer charms on me."
"If I'm still talking to you?"
"You might meet someone. Isn't that your master plan for the future?"
"Well, he'd have to be a … I don't know, someone extraordinary to get me to even think of him in that way, and that doesn't mean you still won't be my best friend. What kind of jerk would make me give up my friends to date him? Besides, I'm kind of fond of you. We're good together at school and our brief taste of work, and uh … brilliant otherwise so maybe I shouldn't want things to change."
"Are you saying anything decisive?"
"What?"
"Am I to come to any understanding based on 'kind of fond' and maybe we should still shag in secret?"
"That's not what I said."
"Can you restate it without indefinite terms like 'maybe' and 'probably'? What do you want?"
"Why are you putting me on the spot like this, Sev?"
"You brought it up. We were talking about my health, your plan to apprentice to become a Healer, and you may meet some wizard who is destined to fulfill everything you need from a husband. You've made it clear numerous times, that I am not that person. Therefore, my plans should not revolve around you."
"What plans?"
"Mine or yours?"
"Yours, Sev."
"What? Mine aren't different. I may have to find an apprenticeship in another country. Maybe as close as Ireland. But it's doubtful to be around here or London. I'm also going to be particular about the terms so that might eliminate most potential Potions Masters from taking me on."
"You've told me that before, but why won't you plan for me?"
"Plan for you? Why would you listen to me, Lily?"
"I listen to you."
"I mean listen and consider what I say."
"Like what?"
"When I've asked you about leaving England, or even Scotland, I suppose, you are against it. Though things have changed. I know you'd want to stay close enough to your mother now that you can get home easily. However, should that mean I should make an effort to stay close to you?"
"Why not? I mean you know me. You don't warm up to other people easily, Sev. Besides, what about you know?"
Severus glanced around for Mrs. Evans. He saw her silhouette through the house. She was still in the kitchen. "If you mean shagging, that's brief, Lily. You don't want to marry me. You don't even want other people to know you are that close to me. And if you are considering still having sex with me after you marry whoever, then you should not marry someone else."
"I didn't say that."
"Well, how am I supposed to know what you mean?"
"If he was that bad at it, I wouldn't marry him."
His eyebrow quirked as he irreverently asked, "You are going to shag your way through single wizards and widowers all over Great Britain to determine that I am naturally brilliant?"
Lily returned a look of disgust and amusement, "Well, I wouldn't go that far. I'd probably concede after a couple disappointments that I am very lucky to have found you."
"You going to get to work on that soon?"
"What?"
"Well, I don't want to be twiddling my thumbs for years for you to come to the obvious conclusion. So the sooner you can get cracking on this new plan of yours to eliminate the other possibilities would be appreciated."
"You want me to shag other guys?"
"No."
"Then why are you suggesting it?"
"If your condition for saying 'yes' or 'no' to me involves you riding on a couple hundred, or maybe a thousand cocks, I suggest you get to it. I'm not getting any younger, and I got to get on with things, one way or the other."
"That's sick, Sev."
"You suggested it. Just say 'no', and I'll leave you alone."
"Why would you want me to say 'no'?"
"My life is miserable. I don't have much hope, and I feel for a year, I've wasted it on you because you have no intention of doing more than using me for a daily shag."
"You're being unreasonable. We had a lovely summer, till recently, and what Petunia did was wrong. You shouldn't let her push you away like that. I was arguing for you to stay, but you just gave in."
"I've already explained that. Lily, you aren't understanding. Dursley could stay because he's married to your family. I am not married, or engaged, or anything. I'm nothing. I can be nothing anywhere. I don't need to be nothing orbiting you to reaffirm I'll never be anything more."
"You're not nothing. Sev, you spent the last week alone, and you're angry. You have a lot going on. You're Head Boy. The Potions Master you did work for's happy. You got me to listen to you, and talk to. And after you talk to Gumboil, you come back here, and tell me all about it, and if you don't want to eat meat, mum'll still make something for you. Doesn't she always?"
Food and sex. Lily was a simpleton. If someone had those two things, they had to be happy. "You're annoying me," Severus baldly stated. "I might as well go now. Has your mother gotten to the store, or did Dursley stock you two up before he left?"
"What?"
"If I'm coming back, I can pick up whatever, if your mother does not want to go out."
"Um … I think Tunie took care of that. You might want to check with her. We're going through a lot of milk with all the tea we're drinking."
"All right," he said as he stood.
"You're just going?"
"I'm going to change my clothes, then go."
"No, I meant, you're leaving during an argument?"
"An argument? I thought you were simply stating yet another condition that needed to be fulfilled. I concur that your mother does go out of her way to make sure I am fed, when I am here."
"Why are you so odd, Sev?"
"What? I listen to you, interpret what I hear, and then repeat it back to you to make sure I am understanding."
"And you get it all wrong."
"Like how? You are not marrying me because you anticipate meeting better wizards when you leave school. This better wizard needs to be equal or superior to me with shagging, in order for you to consider marrying him because I have stated that I do not want to continue shagging you once you are married to someone else. You said you understand my stand on that, Lily. Therefore, you are willing to test out as many of these wizards that you perceive superficially superior to me in a carnal way. I asked that you limit the time period of this testing phase, and that perhaps it should start soon, since I am unsure of my plans and would like to know definitively whether to include you or not. I realize it has been most likely not as you elaborate on your plans, since they do not make an allowance for me. However, I would rather have a firm answer from you regarding your intentions before I go my separate way."
"Giving me an ultimatum is not very nice, Sev."
"If you choose to take it as an ultimatum, then consider it so. Let's say you have two years from me asking the question to give me an answer. That is more than fair. It's been over a year, and I have fulfilled your initial terms plus an abundance more. I have taken you on a date to Hogsmeade, we have done other activities that occur between those that date, I have a house, I have money, you have your own money, and I have assisted you with your chosen career path, to the best of my abilities. You continue to find me deficient, and wish to experiment with others to prove to yourself that I am inferior."
"Stop being such a toerag."
His brow furrowed, and he asked, "Have I ever done that sort of thing to you? I could shove you out into the street and charm off your clothes. Is that what's wrong with me? I don't find that amusing? I only pick on those that deserve it, rather than anyone that annoys me? Should I set the headmaster's beard on fire? Spell his candies to choke him? The same with Slughorn's? Or poison his liquor? All jolly good pranks?"
"They are not jolly good."
"I think about defense. And defense is not about attacking everyone who crosses my path. That's heroic? Drawing the attention to oneself, daring all comers to attack? That's what you find wrong with me, Lily. I want to minimize the number of people wanting me dead. If people persist in attacking me, I will make it hard for them to continue. Britain is bordering on anarchy. I cannot use the laws in place that were written to protect all citizens because they are no longer enforced. That is why I consider moving elsewhere.
"At the moment, more than half the country is cowering in their homes waiting for Death Eaters to target someone in their family. As long as they are quiet and keep their heads down, maybe next door will end up with a Dark Mark over their house, instead of them. That's one of the chief causes to join up as a Death Eater. It's better to be the bully, than the person cowering in the cellar every night. The current defense is only around the Ministry officials they feel worth protecting. Everyone else gets a pamphlet, and the news they see fit to print in the newspaper. The public is not told when someone successfully defends themselves against Death Eaters."
"Has anyone?"
"If muggles can, I'm sure there has to be a wizard or witch clever enough to do it. He Who Must Not Be Named might send twice as many the next time to keep that person quiet, but we'll never know with the Ministry controlling the paper and claiming the only way that they can be fought is allowing the government to cast Unforgivables at will. The number of obituaries has not declined since that passed. That's the only indicator the public at large has."
Lily shook her head slightly. This talk of Severus's had to be Lovegood's doing.
"You'll probably want the heroic, stand-alone type, rather than one that would organize a resistance that would help his neighbors when they need it. So it'll be the two of you against whoever he taunts to show up on your doorstep. You might want to practice running since there is nothing that shields against a killing curse."
"Isn't that a bit overly dramatic, Sev?"
"You planning on not answering the door when they knock?"
Lily rolled her eyes. "I know the words to the killing curse too."
"Alive in Azkaban? I guess that's preferable than leaving your corpse beneath your husband's when he uses you as a shield and he's killed after you."
"Why would I go to jail?"
"Unforgivable is a life offense for anyone not employed by the Ministry. Until you get that job, you would be guilty whether it's a Death Eater, werewolf, or He Who Must Not Be Named himself."
"Why aren't Death Eaters in jail then?"
"They don't individually take credit. They want to be seen, but wear masks so they cannot be identified or photographed."
"Seems cowardly."
"Yet effective," Severus argued.
Lily spent the afternoon thinking while doing some extra Divination calculations. If she had some idea of what could happen, maybe it would help.
But her thoughts led her back to what Sev said. Marry someone who would use her as a shield … yeah, there were even Gryffindors that would do that sort of thing. At least she knew Sev would not do that based on what he did against Lupin as a werewolf. Even if she told Sev to kiss off now, which she did not want to do, there was still that life debt. How would she pay that back if Sev moved to … Australia? New Zealand? Canada? He was angry about the past week, even though he said he wasn't. Why couldn't he just say how he really felt?
Severus seemed willing to believe that Lily would not marry him. Strangely though, he wanted Lily to put it into words. Or one word. Would he accept it, if she did say 'no'? Potter never believed her when she said 'no', and he never asked her anything as important as marriage. Severus was not Potter though, and Lily was positive Potter was just being a toerag and used that as an excuse to talk to her, or show up on her front porch here. Like she'd ever go out with that conceited and arrogant quidditch player.
Severus was the opposite, maybe too much the opposite with his comments about how insignificant he and everything he touched were. Lily knew he wasn't trying to trick her into complimenting him since she heard quite enough people berating him. Severus was raised with a litany of being told he was worthless. Lily thought he was brilliant. Even after she started school with him. It wasn't till she started earnestly studying with him that she saw the intuitive leaps he made, and then he'd backtrack and explain every step between the cause and reason to her. Severus didn't pepper the explanations to her with insults, though she'd hear him do it to others enough. Until he started to get used to them. His insults regarding Mary were not about her schoolwork, and he could be decent when talking to some of the Slytherins and maybe a Ravenclaw.
The strange thing was Lily could imagine herself married to Severus, and not only when she was really mad at Petunia. Their six weeks in a caravan had been lovely. Even though it was sort of new to them both, he had been obliging in everything. Severus usually was. When he didn't do as she asked, he told her. Not like on the telly, or even sometimes with her dad, where they'd shrug and say they forgot. Severus even remembered flowers on Valentine's Day, when his parents died earlier that month. Lily had not been gracious to him because she had been mad at Mary.
Why did Sev even bother? Lily could admit she did not reciprocate properly, was demanding, and she really had no clue to what Severus thought, even when he said it. And now, he gave her permission to shag any wizard she fancied. He did, didn't he? Did Sev want her to leave him? Maybe. After a week of being on his own, he may be back to his 'no one likes me', 'I have no friends', and 'I'm always alone' mentality. The only sticking point was Lily. Maybe Mary, if she could tackle him and drag him off.
Lily wasn't so sure about the Slytherin boys. Slytherins were a strange bunch, even with Sev's insider view. If Severus was a Head Boy to be reckoned with, he'd have friends, or allies, and then there'd also be enemies. What did Sev plan to do as Head Boy? Lily knew he volunteered to start any of her ideas if she was not feeling up to it yet.
Lily should write to Prof. McGonagall. She did not want to disappoint her, and Severus was thinking clearly about that. He did not sound like he wanted to take over any project in particular, and she laughed thinking of him trying to steal the credit for coming up with the idea of a fancy dress party. Severus Snape love parties? Only if he stayed behind to have the library all to himself.
When Severus returned, he was in his new trousers and jumper, had his Wigtown Wanderers badge pinned to it, and carried a full sack of groceries and a couple big books.
Lily made a face. Mum had asked for milk, but there were a couple other things she needed, and Severus apparently did not mind picking up for her. Why was Sev nice to her mum? Even now?
"Crumpets?" Lily asked, when she saw them on the counter.
"They don't stay fresh forever."
She was in the middle of rolling her eyes, when Lily caught Severus looking at her strange. Now what? Crumpets were not a staple. They had plenty of other things for tea.
"So what did Gumboil want?"
"I'm not really sure. I was asked questions about improprieties at Hogwarts. Maybe someone came up with something crazy about why I was Head Boy, but I think Gumboil seeing me again cleared that up."
"What do you mean?"
"If the female staff was going to approach a male student and dangle their favors in front of him, I think they'd pick a better looking one."
"What?"
"They think teachers are trading their influence, or whatever Slughorn does to get students apprenticeships and jobs, for sex with students. I told them I didn't know anything about that. Gifts yes, but not that. I mean look at the staff, who'd be lining up for that?"
Lily made a face and said, "Who'd believe that? Is there anyone even under … I don't know, fifty there?"
"Mr. Filch isn't fifty yet. McGonagall and Sprout might be around that. Maybe Hooch?"
"Any other men?"
"Mr. Hagrid?"
"Ugh."
Mrs. Evans shook her head, and commented, "It's better it get investigated. I've heard terrible things about some of those Church schools in Ireland."
For Severus's sake, Lily added, "Catholic."
"What's that mean?" he asked Lily.
"That's the religion that still takes orders from the Pope in Rome."
"He tells them to do terrible things to school children?"
"Cor Blimey," Mrs. Evans exclaimed.
"Never mind, Sev. It's just that muggle schools hide things too, and it's best to look into anything like that, even if you have to be bothered going to London."
"It wasn't so bad. Gumboil seems all right for a Ministry sort. He didn't get overly suggestive or ask leading questions, or even suggest what I should say."
"So they're after Slughorn, you think?"
"No, definitely a woman. I did mention Pomfrey, but was clear she was not offering me any sort of deal."
Lily laughed, "Let's see her explain that one."
"She's the school nurse, Lily."
"Still, if she won't treat you when you're injured, it seems silly to say she wants you to take off your clothes when she catches sight of you sitting around talking to Mary and I."
"What?" her mother asked.
"He didn't do it, mum. You know how stubborn Sev is, he opted for detention."
"Besides what could Pomfrey offer me besides detention? She might talk to the other staff, but I don't think without having me in class, she could persuade others I was Head Boy material. I only have two female teachers."
"Prof. McGonagall or Prof. Sprout? That's crazy," declared Lily.
"They are Heads of Houses, and not my house. It would look mighty peculiar if they went against house allegiance."
"There's no Gryffindor boys left."
"So? There's two of you. One's head girl and the other's head boy. Plenty of Scottish women are more masculine than the lads of other countries. Her argument to nominate her two Gryffindors for the two available positions makes perfect sense."
Lily laughed, "I'm lucky I got Head Girl. My house is an embarrassment."
"Change it then."
She sobered, "How?"
"Gryffindors have tons of pride. If that doesn't work, get their privileges whittled away. We know points and the House Cup mean nothing to them."
"I can't take privileges away."
"McGonagall can. You name names. There's detention. With McGonagall, not Slughorn. Get quidditch players suspended for a game. Hogsmeade weekends are not a right. Attending your dance is also by invitation. I know McGonagall's not happy with that lot."
"What about the other houses?"
"If points work for them, it'll even out. It depends. I'll give it some thought. We might have to improvise. Speaking of your dance, I stopped at our library in town and got some art books. All the big heroes have statues."
Lily smiled and said, "Now you're thinking."
"I flipped through them, and I think if you'd like to be Perseus, I would not mind being a monstrous Medusa. If MacDonald is stuck for something, she can be Andromeda. Perseus saves and marries her on his way back from killing Medusa."
"What do you mean by monstrous?"
"Rather than being a beautiful woman with live snakes for hair, I can still have a fair face, but scales on my skin and perhaps clawed hands. If we're able to get statues of victims into the room in advance, it may add to the atmosphere."
"Oh yeah, she turns people into stone."
"So Perseus's shield will be mirrored on one side."
"He's nude in a lot of these."
"That was the artistic style for Greeks. It's a short toga, sandals, short sword, shield and helm."
"You're really not going to dress up as a boy?" Mrs. Evans asked her daughter.
"There's spells, mum. They'll never guess if I'm a boy, and Sev's a girl. Get it?"