Chapter 37 So Many Deaths
Lily woke up smelling … something not bad. Grrr. It would have helped if someone didn't put two roses in the middle of her pillow while she was sleeping on it. She fussed at the white and red rose, trying to fix what she mangled by rolling over them with her face. Jeez! Maybe when they opened up more, no one would notice she messed them up.
It didn't help that she also kicked while she slept, and the sea of white lilies on the covers were strewn every which way. She knew it was that sneaky Severus that got these in here somehow, without finally noticing there was some fancy squiggly thing on the ribbon holding the two roses together. If she tried to make it out, it could be a capital L in script that looped into a S.
Sneak probably arranged for February 14th to fall on a Monday this year too. How dare he do this ambush thing on her, when Lily did not have anything in mind till Saturday, even if they didn't go to Hogsmeade. Well, she didn't have anything firm in mind for Saturday because of Sev's parents. He wasn't himself yet, and might not be for a long time. Not that getting flowers onto her bed was like him either.
She was thinking why would he choose white lilies, unless he knew they would look nice against the red bed? Mary interrupted her thoughts, "Who's trying to get into your knickers?"
Frowning at her roommate, Lily said, "That's not a very nice thing to say." If some random boy sent her a bunch of flowers, she wouldn't let him have his way with her.
"How else is someone going to get in them? You got your legs sealed together with a permanent sticking charm."
Lily screeched as she hopped out of bed. Mary was ruining what should have been a … a very nice moment of thinking about how Severus feels about her. "They are not, and these flowers are from Severus."
"Severus?"
"Yes."
"Are you sure, Lily?"
"Of course."
"Why?"
"Well, I told you that we're … sort of getting closer."
Mary's eyes widened, and accusingly she spit, "You … you gave him a pity shag?"
"What?"
"You know. Taking advantage of him like this now. That's low."
"I did not."
"These are flowers of friendship, and you have never shagged him, you're saying?"
"No."
"You felt sorry for him and did it, didn't you? Lily … that's so wrong."
"I wasn't feeling sorry for him, and it's not wrong."
"Oh … so his parents die, he's upset, and his snake happens to accidentally slither between your legs while you're comforting him?"
"No, it wasn't like that at all. We've done it before that."
"No, you didn't, Lily. You told me you kissed Severus over the break. It's because you're jealous of me, isn't it? Figured that would make you the winner, and you were sitting there all smug because you got him thinking he loves you."
"No, I'm … what are you talking about?"
"Flowers. Flowers? Come on. That's it right there. He wouldn't have showered you with flowers unless you made him think you cared for him."
"I do care for him."
"If you cared for him, you wouldn't choose now to throw yourself on him."
"I didn't wait till now."
"Oh really? Well, I looked at your Wizarding card over there, and that's from a friend, not a lover."
Lily was tempted to describe a ballpoint pen as a special muggle device for sexual purposes, but Mary might repeat it in Muggle Studies and then all of Hogwarts' inbred idiots would think that. "We're both. I got to get ready. I don't have time to listen to your nonsense."
"We'll see about that."
Exiting, Lily childishly replied, "Not listening."
Mary's raving got Lily thinking about shagging. Not the pulsing need that drove her to molest Severus, but questioning herself on how that got turned off. Of course, this was the proper time not to be grabbing the front of Sev's trousers and unzipping him whenever she got him alone, but could it be that her mind finally overcame her body? This was good, Lily had been wondering what was going to happen to her grades since she'd rather shag than study, and frankly wanted more shagging. Lots more shagging. The scary question was would there be any more shagging?
That question weighed on Lily so heavily, she did not even try to disguise what she meant when she got to Severus in Transfiguration. "Do you still want to shag me, Sev?"
Severus glanced around since students entering the room passed their location in the back. "Why would you think that? I've been self-absorbed but I know you … You're important, Lily. I tried to show you that with the flowers. They didn't mean something else."
"Oh, right. Thanks for the flowers. So … I know that you've got a lot to think about. I'm not complaining or demanding you … I don't know. I don't want to sound like a total jerk."
Don't want to sound like a total jerk? She used more words on that than the 'thanks for the flowers'. Why was he always doing the wrong thing with Lily? Except he did know what the right thing was – shagging. Why? And why now? He couldn't let it show though. She'd get angry with him. "Can it wait till this evening for me to shag you or you'll die?"
"Oh no, I mean I don't mean no as in no, uh, I can wait."
Severus made a confused face at her, then leaned close and teased her with a low, sexy voice, "The powerful witch, Lily the Libidinous, could be rendered incapable of normal speech if she did not have the seed of young wizards liberally applied to her body daily."
"The what?"
"Li bid i nous from the Latin libido."
"That doesn't sound hot."
"If it was Lusty Lily, you would be serving drinks at the Hog's Head."
She laughed, then whispered to him naughtily, "My favorite young wizard is Severus the Slytherin Sex God."
Severus thought he was more like a Sex Object, rather than the Sex God. "No one would believe it without proof. I've chosen Severus the Slimy as my dark wizard moniker."
"Why slimy?"
"It will be an easy transition from slimy Slytherin for those that already acknowledge me, and I'd rather choose that title than end up stuck with Stinky or Smelly."
Lily shook with more laughter. People did not call him slimy Slytherin because they 'acknowledged' him. They weren't very original either. Even with all that was going on with Severus, his hair was still washed.
After class, Lily remembered to tell Severus as she walked along with him, "Mary knows about us."
"All right."
"She's angry."
"I recall predicting that."
"You're not understanding, Sev."
"She's sworn some terrible Gryffindor revenge on the two of us? And since it's Gryffindor, gave you full warning, and may tell you everything she plans to do, before she does it?"
"Noooooo, Sev. This is serious."
"She has a Slytherin assisting her?"
She snapped, "No. She's mad at me for taking advantage of you."
"Aren't we both seventeen?"
"Right. She meant something else because she only found out now."
"Huh? All I know is you invited me into a bathroom, suggested I needed a bath and then I don't know what you did … I feel like you stole my innocence, Lily," he said with a smirk.
"Don't be a toerag."
"And how do I end up as the toerag?"
"You're not. She is. Mary's up to something."
"I'll head the other way if she suggests I join her in the ladies'. I've learned my lesson."
Lily rolled her eyes at him, and allowed Severus to go into Runes.
James Potter was starting to think someone had cursed him, rather than a year of terrible bad luck.
His parents had changed their mind, and now he was going to be home schooled by them until they felt he was ready to take his NEWTs. They canceled his transfer to Beauxbatons.
Not that James had been keen to go to France, but even the French were preferable to his parents. There was also the slim hope that he'd see Sirius. Stupid berk didn't even send him holiday greetings or reply to his. Best mates forever? Sirius Black was exactly like the rest of his disgusting family. Probably lied to him from the moment the sorting hat said "Gryffindor".
At least Remus wrote back through his parents. His letters to James were so depressing. James knew that Azkaban was not pleasant, and was intentionally designed to punish the convicts within its walls. Perhaps there was some way to get Remus freed. An appeal due to … well, due to it solely being Sirius's fault. Unlikely due to the Black family's influence and wealth, but James felt this was not Remus's fault. Whoever thought it was a good idea to keep him in the Shrieking Shack anyway? If a couple of students could find him, meaning James, Sirius, and Peter, it was likely others would stumble upon Remus during his monthly transformations over seven years. There wasn't even a silencing spell on the Shack.
Now that he was home again after his father and solicitor got him away from the Ministry with their stupid questions about Dark Arts, Death Eaters, and attacking muggles, James had another worthless and wandless lesson. Character building. Merlin's balls was he sick of hearing that from his parents. He had tons of character. Till now, James had been the most popular student at Hogwarts. Instead of playing quidditch like he should be doing, his parents found stacks of books and assigned him to define every muggle term in these stupid obituaries. If the Lestranges weren't already dead, James would be on the hunt for them to force them to do this worthless assignment.
It was a complete waste of time. James didn't need to know what this crap meant. It was no surprise to him that Snape's father was real good at being a sneaky bastard that overcame obstacles on land and on sea to get to unexpected places to kill and destroy things. His son was an ugly cockroach too.
James would be seventeen in March. Although he loved his parents, James was considering striking out on his own and making a go of it. Try out for a quidditch team to give him something to occupy his time. His dream of becoming an auror was gone. Was Sirius laughing at him every time they discussed becoming aurors together? One of the Dark Arts-loving Blacks an auror? Only to cover up for the rest of his foul family.
Severus surprised Lily with kissing, slow snogging, and love making after they left the library that evening. Not exactly a surprise since it was Valentine's Day, but quite nice. Well, more than nice.
"Not tomorrow morning, Lily. I'm not sleeping well."
"Oh, that's all right, Sev. Is it something in particular?"
He sighed against her shoulder, and muttered, "I should probably look through what I took from the house. That would be more useful, but I keep thinking about my mother."
"Of course you do," Lily replied supportively.
"What if she knew ..." he suggested with a shuddering indrawn breath.
"Knew?"
"My father was not coming back, and I was not going to help her."
"You? But … you would help her, if you knew."
"She wouldn't know that."
Lily blinked quickly to try to stop tears. It was little wonder Severus couldn't sleep with such negative thoughts in his head. "She went to Hogwarts, Sev. She knew how isolated it is here."
"Maybe," he responded, shifting against her. He lowered his head further and confessed, "It doesn't excuse the ones that did know, and couldn't be bothered saying anything till it was too late."
Slughorn? Who else held Sev in such little regard? How did Sev know? Slughorn wasn't the type to admit a mistake. Lily's curiosity overcame her, and she asked, "How would someone know? Your father was not in the Prophet."
"The Ministry investigated the Death Eaters. They knew, probably from last summer, but Dumbledore was told. He was told about my father, while he was at the Ministry. Days before my mother died. Dumbledore told me they told him, and also told me he was too busy. The Ministry's lobby is full of floo grates."
"Floo you?"
"No, I wouldn't expect him to floo me or come back here, but you think he can't floo any of the teachers up here?"
"Um ..."
"Lily, how fast was Flitwick at St. Mungo's? They flooed the school when we showed up after the werewolf attack. I bet they didn't just try one floo call and give up, if it was Flitwick either. They kept at it, till someone was on the other side to talk to them."
Although she would prefer not to agree with Severus on this serious matter, his reasoning was convincing. "Yeah, I mean, even if he didn't know your mum uh … needed you. Wouldn't you be expected to go home for a funeral? Why would he think your mum had an owl to write, and if she did, the weather has been rotten for flying. A floo call would be better. Much better. Are you sure he didn't floo someone? I mean Dumbledore … I find it a bit …"
"That's why I asked him."
"Oh. Oh, you … came right out and asked him?"
"He was distracted so he wasn't concentrating on what I was asking."
"Huh? Dumbledore was doing something else?"
"Yes, so in passing, he said he heard about my father. Which was sort of odd, most wizarding types just mention my mother since she was the one in the paper, so that's why I asked some questions and he said he was at the Ministry, they told him, and I asked how long ago. It was the day he got back so I don't think he made a mistake. Mother had only died the day before."
Unattractively Lily's brow furrowed, she squinted her eyes, and crinkled her nose above her open mouth while she processed this piece of information. This had not happened last year or a long time ago, it was only a week ago. Severus said he wanted to get facts, and this was mind-boggling. Wasn't it? Wait, Dumbledore. Of course, it didn't involve afters, a piece of candy and He Who Must Not Be Named, or even his darling Marauders. Though on the other hand, there was always the smidgen of doubt because Severus was Slytherin, and sometimes, he didn't know what was really going on, so it wasn't like Lily thought he was intentionally lying. Why would he lie about this anyway, unless he was looking for something to assuage his obvious grief, and the guilt, that Lily didn't know about till tonight, he was feeling over not being there for his mother when she needed him?
Her brain still sizzled with pros and cons, and theories of what could have happened to give Severus this idea, when he left for detention. How could he … no, Lily knew this was not something he told her to get her riled up, this was something that was bothering him. Severus had told her what was on his mind? His lack of sleep must be undermining his defenses. How was Lily supposed to sleep now? Unlike Severus, she wasn't going to spend nights thinking of all the other possible outcomes of his sad set of circumstances.
Without risk, there is no gain. The Lestrange vault would be the Blacks because it was rightfully theirs. Although Orion did not call the Dark Lord master, as his close cousin, Cygnus, did, his pruning of the weaker families had benefited them all greatly.
There was one family that was so mentally weak, they deserved to have no future entries in the wizarding bloodlines. Cygnus said his master liked their muscle. Considering that's all a Crabbe consisted of, that wasn't saying much. Unfortunately, the Crabbe family had also been loyal to powerful masters and families in the past. Their craggy, heap of a manor was well-fortified.
Obtaining this family portkey stolen from that very group of dull-witted wizards was paramount to Orion's plan. From his research, only the Crabbes stood between him and that vault. He needed them out of the way before they signed the paperwork from Gringotts, or it would go to their heirs.
Obviously, someone as important and distinguished as Orion Black sent others to run errands, but in a case like this, where any pair of loose lips would have to be permanently sealed, he did not want to lose any of his most trusted lackies. Anyone less than that, he would not have the confidence in to successfully barter for that portkey or trust with this many of his galleons.
Besides, he was Orion Black. He feared nothing, especially not the filth that crawled through Knockturn Alley. So what if it was dark?
Since the headmaster was apparently not receiving visitors right now, Lily went to Prof. McGonagall.
It was close enough to curfew that her head of house had not already donned her notorious tartan dressing gown that no Gryffindor wanted the misfortune of seeing, since it meant rousing her for something unpleasant. Since her office was alight and she was still in her teaching robes, Lily felt it was safe to start a discussion.
"Professor, I guess you already realize I'm friends with Severus Snape."
"I've noticed, Evans."
"Well, with um, what happened, he's not well. He's not sleeping, and Severus thinks Prof. Dumbledore told him … something really terrible."
"Terrible?"
"Nothing can be done about it now, but uh … Severus thinks about it. What the headmaster said, and about his mother," Lily blinked as her eyes started to water.
Minerva knew Miss Evans was intentionally being vague, but doubted she meant Albus Dumbledore and Mrs. Snape had any AND between them. "Perhaps you could explain it to me?"
"Well, um … oh, maybe I should give you a little history of uh … this. Sev's mum, she uh … didn't go outside their house. Maybe the last time was when he needed to get to school the first time."
Pomona had given Minerva and some of the other staff, those willing to listen, a dismal description of the Snape home, but she had no information on the living parents. Pomona was most upset that she could not aid Severus more, and she described herself as shocked motionless by what she saw.
Unlike others, Minerva did not equate Hufflepuff with weak, so she knew whatever Pomona tried to describe to them in words must have been truly tragic.
When Prof. McGonagall nodded at her, Lily continued, "So last summer, when Potter and Black attacked that pub, that's why Mr. Snape told Severus to try to fix things and he got in trouble for underaged magic because his mum couldn't … and Sev was really angry with the Ministry fellow because he asked about her, but she shouldn't have to be responsible for fixing what Potter and Black did."
"Was that the same pub the Death Eaters attacked?"
"Yes, and I don't know why they would because there's got to be lots of better places for them to make their statement or to get noticed. So the Death Eaters killed some of the fellows in there, and one of them is Severus's father. Then the Ministry's involved because it's Death Eaters. They know Mr. Snape from the last time. Right, professor?" Lily asked, desperate for validation or denial.
"Of course." They should never have let those boys back into school in September. She did not agree with Albus about Lupin either, but he would have been so much safer without others knowing his secret, and using him, supposedly their own friend, to settle their schoolboy grudges.
"What would they normally do?"
"Do about what?"
"About the victim or their family? Severus said there were a bunch of them at the pub when it was smashed up by Potter and Black. So at least that many would go and put together their report, and … question people? But they'd have to be in disguise I guess, but they could speak to Severus openly. He wasn't there this time, and got there afterwards last time, but he might know something."
"That's a possibility, but it would be up to the Headmaster or Prof. Slughorn."
"I hadn't thought of that. Ooh, so now it's making a bit more sense. So if Prof. Dumbledore is at the Ministry, it would be simple for them to tell him of the situation," Lily's thinking aloud came to a halt.
"Has this resolved the terrible situation, Miss Evans?"
"Hardly. Severus's mum is at home without his father to take care of her. She's alone, and Sev said she won't answer the door so if one of the muggles went round to check on her, including my parents. Sev seems to think only he or his father can get in the house.
"So the Ministry knows and tells Dumbledore ..."
Minerva's mind was already a couple steps ahead of Lily now so she totally missed correcting her on omitting the headmaster's title.
"When he returned to the school, the day after Sev's mum died, Severus said that the headmaster told him that he knew of his father's death while he was at the Ministry days before, but was too busy to do anything."
Disbelievingly Minerva asked, "Why would he say something like that to Mr. Snape?"
"Severus said he was distracted, and the headmaster didn't say it like that, but he answered Sev's questions without paying attention to what he was being asked. And Sev says there's plenty of floos at the Ministry so he could floo someone here at the school on his way past, and wouldn't have to stop whatever was keeping him tied up down there."
He must have been pretty distracted if he thought a Slytherin asking questions was just making conversation, Minerva mused.
"I know it can't be fixed now, but there's got to be something else that was missed. I mean, Sev isn't the only one that lives in a muggle house. None of us muggleborns have owls at home so if something happens to one or both of our parents, or even my sister, how do we find out? I mean Severus said the school wouldn't put a student on the train in June to let them sort it on their own, but is that what really happens? They are left standing in King's Cross? Well, other than students that are supposed to be left alone like Sev. No one picks him up, he gets on a muggle train like my family."
"It depends, Miss Evans. There's a number of magical devices operating to assist the staff. If your sister was in an accident, I would have no idea. However, if there was a change to your legal guardians or that change resulted in a change of residence for you, I'd be aware of it."
"You would? But ..."
"For Gryffindor, I would be alerted to the change in legal guardians. The residence is transparent, since it is part of the records that the letter writing quills use, mostly over the summer holiday for acceptance letters and required reading."
"Should Prof. Slughorn have noticed something?"
"Perhaps. Mr. Snape is seventeen, so either his guardianship may have changed on his birthday, or afterwards, but the reason would be considered he turned seventeen."
When Miss Evans fell into quiet thought again, Minerva consoled her, "If Prof. Dumbledore knew of the importance of him getting a message to Mr. Snape, I'm sure he would have made every effort."
"Importance? Even if his mum didn't need immediate care, shouldn't he at least be allowed to go home for his father's funeral?"
"He should have, but I doubt the headmaster considered that there was no other means for notifying him."
"That's of little reassurance to Severus. He can't sleep because he's been wondering for the past week how his mother suffered while waiting for him." This time Lily couldn't stop the tears from flowing, and was rather unladylike, even after Minerva handed her a handkerchief.
"Is Severus down in Slytherin now?"
"No, he's somewhere working for Mr. Filch."
"Mr. Filch?"
"His detention."
"I'm sure once I explain to Mr. Filch, he won't mind if I take Severus to the Infirmary."
"The Infirmary?"
"Yes, Madam Pomfrey can prescribe a sleeping draft."
Lily snorted, and a glimmer of vindication nudged her to elaborate. "I doubt it. The last time he set foot in there, he ended up with detention for life, and he wasn't even a patient. The two of us were visiting Mary MacDonald, and we were very well behaved. It's not like Sev was jumping from bed to bed, messing the linens. He was sitting next to me in a chair, speaking quietly with us."
This struck Minerva as untrue. However, something was unresolved regarding this 'detention for life'. If Severus Snape had committed some atrocity to deserve it, what was it, especially when Horace didn't proclaim it to save himself the extra duty of proctoring detentions?
"I can remain with Mr. Snape while he is being examined."
"What kind of examined?" Lily asked, suddenly afraid that she was reopening the real can of worms with Pomfrey.
"Madam Pomfrey will need to have some questions answered before she starts giving out potions."
"Oh, right, I …," seeing Prof. McGonagall's doubting look, she decided to come sort of clean, "I don't want Severus getting more upset. At St. Mungo's, he hated whenever they touched him. He's very self-conscious about his person."
"Lack of sleep after such a personal tragedy is understandable. I doubt he will be asked to do anything undignified, Lily. However, I'll keep that in mind while I'm accompanying him."
Minerva found Severus where Argus said he'd be, but he was lying face down on the floor as she turned the corner. His bird made a noise and swooped towards her, and he rolled over with his wand pointed towards her. He lowered it, and greeted her, "Professor."
"What are you doing on the floor, Mr. Snape?"
"There's cold air coming through here. It's an interior castle wall so I'm seeing if I can figure if this is related to the drafts that I've found elsewhere because it would be more efficient to seal one source, rather than all these holes."
What the heck did Argus have him doing? Severus had a stack of parchment with him, and was jotting down some notes now. If Argus was not so pleased with his work, she'd think he was doing something else. "I talked to Mr. Filch. You can complete this tomorrow. Please come with me to the Infirmary."
"What for, professor?"
"You don't look well, Mr. Snape," she replied. It was the truth. He did not look well, and it wasn't simply the clothes he wore when he was crawling on the floor for Argus. Normally he did not look healthy. His hair had been uncharacteristically clean for him this year, but he had deep shadows under his eyes.
"I'm fine, professor."
"I'd rather you come with me anyway to answer some questions for Madam Pomfrey. She's concerned about you."
Severus muttered, "I doubt that," but gathered his items together.
Minerva heard him. Considering how many hours of detention he had served so far for the matron that was rather mild.
She asked Severus to have a seat when they reached the Infirmary. Poppy did not know she was bringing a patient up, in spite of what she led Severus to believe.
Closing the office door behind her, Minerva said, "Poppy, I brought Severus Snape up to see you. He lost both his parents and is not handling it well."
"I had heard, Minerva. Should he even be at school?"
"He has nowhere else to go."
"Pomona mentioned something about it," Poppy replied.
"Severus is disturbed because his mother may have starved to death, or something else drawn out and painful."
"Hmm, Pomona had asked me. I have no idea without more information."
"In any case, Severus seems to think so."
"Will he even cooperate? He's a headstrong boy."
"Cooperate with what, Poppy? Taking a sleeping potion? That's the immediate problem. He does not sleep. Severus is too much of a thinker."
"I should give him a complete exam, Minerva. He was diagnosed with a number of physical problems at St. Mungo's."
Minerva thought the issue with Severus was prior injuries, not any ongoing conditions. However, Poppy would have discussed with the healers from St. Mungo's, not her. "If it won't take long, Poppy. He looks dead on his feet," Minerva said, exaggerating slightly.
"Let me take a look at him," Poppy said rising, taking out her wand.
Severus was seated in one of the chairs outside the office, rather than on one of the beds, with his head bowed forward, his hair covering his face. Phi was alertly perched on his shoulder.
"Lie down on one of the beds, Snape," Poppy said, torn between helping a student, and who this particular student was. Some Slytherins were nothing but trouble. Why would she doubt Horace's word that this was one of them? Snape certainly proved it so far. However, Poppy did not feel that Snape was a He Who Must Not Be Named caliber Slytherin. That was an evil, dark wizard.
Severus looked at Prof. McGonagall, then complied with Madam Pomfrey's request. At the very least he could give McGonagall the time that he would have been serving detention tonight.
Phi perched on the white enameled brass headboard.
She had seen McGonagall enough times now, but did not know this other woman. Her person considered her as potentially harmful to him. There were many in this collection of stone buildings that he felt could possibly prey on him. Her person should take his mate and dwell in a safer place. Phi certainly did not feel safe here.
"The bird is unsanitary."
Severus did not respond. Unsanitary? Was she proposing some sort of surgery? He slept and ate with Phi now. If she had something, he probably already caught it.
"What symptoms do you have?" she asked, while starting to cast standard diagnostic charms.
"I am currently unaffected by any ill-intentioned spells."
"That's not what I meant, Snape."
"None?"
Poppy sighed. Clearly he was ill. Nothing truly life-threatening. More than lack of sleep. Even trouble-making lads of seventeen would be effected by the loss of one parent. Both certainly sent his mind into a state of shock that he was having difficulty with. Everything – sleeping, eating, socializing, whatever he did would be unmanageable. As she said earlier, he should not be at Hogwarts. With everyone Horace knew, there had to be someplace to put him for a few weeks.
"Are dreams a problem?"
"No, ma'am."
"I'll prescribe simple sleeping draught and a nutrient solution. You should eat a larger variety of foods. You can take the nutrient solution now, and take the sleeping draught with you for later tonight."
"All right." She wasn't going to poison him in front of McGonagall, or at least he didn't think so.
Later, Severus was back in Slytherin, and attempted to communicate with Phi. She knew how to make noise to alert him, but he wasn't sure he was expressing that after he drank this potion, he'd be hard to wake. She could also be overcome by anyone meaning him harm. Maybe he should save it for this weekend. If he gave Lily a good round of hard shagging, perhaps she would let him sleep.
Telling Lily earlier tonight what was on his mind did not resolve anything, still he now felt that maybe his sleepness nights could be spent looking at some of the items he brought from home, other than mother's wand.
After correlating the right paperwork together, Severus pondered the muggle concept of life insurance. It surely was a bad idea if a company was trying to make money. Severus knew muggles liked money just as much as wizards. If he was understanding this correctly, a person could wager a small amount of money that they would one day die. Some company accepts that bet at ridiculously good odds, but why would they do that? Everyone dies.
In the long list of amounts deducted from his father's wages, this life insurance was a pittance compared to some of the other penalties his father paid for the privilege of laboring. Contained in the paperwork provided by the employer, there was a description of the deductions and what this life insurance was. Someone could possibly owe him money because his father died, and it was not the result of some court decision due to some part of his father's death being their fault. This insurance company would actually be interested in his father living as long as possible, if they had anyone smart working there, which was doubtful since they bet on people not dying.
By the time Severus began to wonder if his lack of a muggle education gave him a perspective that could make him comfortably wealthy among muggles, there was noise out in the corridor. Slytherins snuck in and out of their rooms all night, even if it was only to use the loo. Usually they were a quiet bunch. Some dunderhead was having a conversation in the midst of the male room hallway. Their downward spiraling corridor had horrible acoustics, so mostly nothing was said, unless someone wanted to start a false and vicious rumor. However, since everyone knew that's why any conversation would happen, anything said was ignored. Hence, no reason to talk out there at … three in the Merlin-loving morning.
It was not long before a cranky Mulciber, who no longer could get in a decent wank because his private reading material was confiscated, got up grumbling, yanked open their door, and shouted into the hall, "Shut the fuck up."
Severus tried to make out the response. It was Slughorn, but it was garbled.
"Right professor, but the time. We got class." Severus rolled his eyes at that. Mulciber needed to rest up for History of Magic?
He lay in bed disappointed that Mulciber closed the door, rather than going berserk on the self-centered git. Whatever Slughorn was doing was 'important', or he would not be up at this time, putting on a show for half his house.
Albus arrived at breakfast to find the seating had been rearranged. He already knew that Horace was called away due to an emergency, and Hagrid had taken his place on his right. Minerva was sitting at the end of the table in deep discussion with Poppy and Pomona, instead of at his left. That place was occupied by the elderly Prof. Upsilon, who taught Ancient Runes and made little effort to learn more English in all his years teaching at Hogwarts. His years in Scotland had not faded his dark complexion which he renewed without fail every summer in his native Greek isles. Having known him so long, Albus knew that unlike himself, Upsilon had lost noticeable inches in height over the years, but failed to adopt the wizarding custom of compensating with taller hats.
His copy of the paper was neatly folded and waiting for him, but he chose to fix his toast first. Albus already knew the front page story would be regarding the gruesome murder of Orion Black in Knockturn Alley.
"The ancient Greeks were very wise when they wrote their memorable tragedies. It is unwise to try to alter fate. Frequently their plots led to the very thing they were trying to avoid. Do you remember King Laius?" Upsilon asked in Greek.
Albus looked when silence met the question, and realized he was the one that had been asked. "Laius? Oh, I'm afraid I don't," Albus answered in slow English.
"Pity. Big lesson in that one. Multiple prophecies of the same outcome with everyone doing their best to circumvent them. And after all that, Oedipus does kill his father and marries his mother. Never would have happened if people weren't acting like fools."
Next to Hagrid, Silvanus Kettleburn started telling Rubeus the abbreviated tale of Oedipus since after he translated, Hagrid asked, "How does someone manage to do that?" Meaning kill their father and marry their own mother.
Albus asked, "You see fools at Hogwarts?" He felt a bit uncomfortable as Upsilon's intelligent, dark eyes brightly studied him. Not everyone agreed with Albus's sense of fashion, but there was no need to be insulting about it.
"Perhaps not. You think you are assisting Fate?"
"In what way?"
"You knew your adversaries when they were young. Gellert Grindelwald, and I also had Tom Riddle as a student. Do you intentionally set them on their paths, or is it merely good fortune?"
Albus's mouth puckered as he thought. His Greek was good because Upsilon gave him occasional practice. Keeping his English slow, although he knew the man understood every word said around him, he asked, "Is there a student like that now at Hogwarts?"
"If you asked me sooner, I'd say not. The man I now have in mind had a wicked sense of humor and loved irony then. He also says a lot in his Runes essays that Riddle did not."
"You remember that far back?"
"I remember the other staff praising Riddle's brilliance, and thinking his work was adequate. He merely learned to translate, not reading the material."
Albus nodded in understanding. "Why would you suggest I had something to do with this change?"
"You manipulate things to your liking, Albus." Switching to Latin, he said, "Memento mori."
"Remember you shall die?"
"Yes," Upsilon agreed in Greek. "You are not young, and still have to deal with Riddle. I wouldn't consider it wise to anticipate your next nemesis yet."
"Does my nemesis have a name?"
"I'm fond of Severus, so I'd rather not point him out to you so early in the game."
"Game?" Albus repeated, shocked that Severus Snape could even be considered to be anything like Gellert or Tom. They both had a tangible presence and hordes of admirers. Severus was quiet, avoided people, normally kept to himself but thought about many things. Obviously he would fight back when provoked, and would get nasty if a group of people continually pushed him. With him being a Slytherin, there had to be some ambition and need to prove himself, but awards seemed worthless to him. Albus would like to think of him as a budding philosopher. His one published work was an essay on government's responsibility to its society. Gellert and Tom wanted to change things through might with themselves in charge. They did not try to sway public opinion by publishing their views.
"Isn't that what your Gryffindor house is known for? Games and winning them at all costs? I don't have many of them as students, so I may be mistaken."
"Slytherin has its share of ruthlessness."
"Oh? I thought it was one of your favorites that used his tragic werewolf friend to kill his rival on the quidditch pitch. That would have played well in Greece centuries ago, but substitute quidditch with a real game, perhaps discus or javelin throwing?"
"No one could foretell how that would turn out."
"Nonsense. The tragic werewolf was purposely placed to allow him to be a huge plot point in any tale. Lupin was my student. Eager to please and willing to follow along in the name of friendship. Any friendship. That's the basis for a good story. Youth and innocence lost. Grieving parents on both sides. Lupin's especially because they have the constant reminder of the terrible decision they made allowing him to attend school here. A costly mistake to share the burden of their son with others, when they should have known only they would have his best interests at heart."
Albus started to think the Ancient Runes professor purposely sat here to give him grief. What reason was there to call him to task for? Severus seemed fine, over at the Slytherin table, having breakfast with the younger lads. Albus had noticed this before. He was not sure if Severus was imparting some wisdom to them, or if he simply related better to younger students. His fellows may have matured faster than him, or at least Albus thought so after finding those photos. In all his years, Albus had never even imagined such things, and some of the Wizengamot were dirty old men who were always flashing inappropriate photos to pass the time.
He picked up his newspaper and opened it. Barty had contacted him last night, and Horace took Regulus home. Albus had little idea what was going on. The Black family, as a whole, was involved with too much to make an idle guess why Orion was in Knockturn Alley. Purchasing some rare Dark Arts or illegal item was the likeliest reason, but he could have been visiting the brothel.
For Potions, they had a substitute teacher. Lily recognized the old man as the Ancient Runes teacher, but until now, she didn't know he didn't teach class in English. Not that he was teaching. Severus translated for her that they were to carry on with whatever they normally did. They class opened their books, but then talked to whoever was close by.
Lily had read in the paper about Regulus and Sirius' father.
Severus told her that Slughorn left with Regulus during the night. He didn't know when he'd be back. He laughed that there was a notice on their bulletin board that there would be more notices forthcoming.
By dinner, Slughorn had not returned, and Lily was angry. She tried to get Severus to say something, but he seemed not to care that Slughorn was gone.
Up at the Head Table, Minerva was back in her usual seat and volunteered to supervise detentions, rather than allow them to be canceled.
Albus sensed she had more on her mind so asked, "Is something wrong, Minerva?"
Her lips thinned for a moment before she replied, "I suppose I should give you the chance to explain yourself, if you are capable of sorting it without Horace to explain it to you."
"Sort what?"
"While you were at the Ministry last, were you told that Severus Snape's father was killed by Death Eaters?"
"Yes."
"What did you do?"
"Do? I was speaking to Barty about it. I had been to that pub, and I have to say I was sad to hear it."
Minerva repeated, "No, I meant exactly what I asked. What did you do? Did you try to contact Horace?"
"About what?"
"About anything, Albus. You are really ticking me off. I suppose before my disappointment overwhelms me, I should ask – did you find out as you were leaving the Ministry or sooner?"
"I'm not sure. It wasn't the day I left because that was when Bellatrix was in the paper. So many deaths in one family in such a short time ..."
"I don't give a shit about that."
"Minerva," Albus chided.
"I want to know if ..." Minerva looked away for a moment, then looked back, " … if your inaction caused someone's death."
"Whose?"
"Eileen Snape's."
"Severus's mother?"
"Yes, from what I understand, she was an invalid who did not leave the house."
"Why wasn't she at St. Mungo's?" Albus asked in confusion.
"How is her muggle husband going to visit her there?"
"Why would I be responsible, Minerva?"
"It wasn't until her obituary was in the paper that Severus went home. He would have been home prior to that to take care of her, if you could have been bothered to pass the message along."
"Take care of her? But he's in school, he couldn't take care of her."
"He's seventeen. That was his choice, not yours."
"I … I didn't take that choice away. I didn't know there was one."
"Did you even care there was one?"
"Of course I would care."
"It's too late for that now," she snapped.
"Why didn't anyone say anything?"
"Horace told Pomona she was being a Hufflepuff, and Hufflepuff sensibilities have no place with Slytherins. And you … you just stood there waiting for Horace to tell you what was important."
"No, I do care, Minerva."
"Why? Horace knows he squeaked under the wire with this one. He's seventeen and his parents are dead. No longer our problem outside of school, is he? Pomona knows that home did not get that way overnight. Years, probably his entire life."
"How would I know such things?"
"You don't even know if he's here or not for Christmas. There's been enough clues that another head of house may have seen it. St. Mungo's was on it fast enough."
"Earlier would have helped him more."
"Earlier? I was unaware St. Mungo's opening a complaint with the Ministry aided him at all."
"It helped the school. Poppy found that her records had been tampered with."
"I'm sure Severus was comforted by that. I think the person that benefited most was Argus."
Albus frowned. There was no need for Minerva to get sarcastic with him. This was very serious. How did the responsibility for Eileen Snape's death get laid at his feet, of all places? He had not even known she was dead.
Lily worried him because she was agreeable to letting him sleep this weekend. She seemed to understand he needed to rest so hopefully would not poke at him every ten minutes.
Prof. McGonagall catching him on the floor, had Severus thinking that Mr. Filch may know what connected these internal walls so he had spent some time getting a clean map together of his interior cold spots and was talking to the caretaker when Prof. Dumbledore came into his office.
With the crowd of filing cabinets, the boxes of paperwork to still be filed, the desk, Filch's chair, the three of them and two familiars, Severus suggested, "I could head back to where I was working last night, Mr. Filch."
"That'll be fine. What can I do for you, headmaster?"
"I was actually looking for Mr. Snape."
"Why? I've been here close to thirty minutes." Severus had not done anything today to cause anyone to look for him. A lot of activities were still attributed to him even without the Marauders pointing fingers. It was his word against the witnesses.
"I wanted to check on how you were doing," Albus explained. Once he got some more facts sorted after dinner, he was not sure an apology would be well received.
Severus and Argus looked at each other.
Severus shrugged and said, "Mr. Filch is fair. I have no complaints."
"Other whelps jealous?" Filch cackled. "I hope Prof. McGonagall keeps the whole lot of them scrubbing mildew till their fingernails drop out."
At first, Argus appreciated Snape's ability to work rather than destroy everything he laid a hand on. Normally, he would not care for all this book learning and some candy-sucking know-it-all saying there was a better way, but Snape started with what Argus told him to do rather than taking it upon himself to do something irresponsible like soaping a flight of stairs to claim it would aid in keeping shoes clean, therefore floors clean.
Then once Snape publicly humiliated Peeves, Argus could only hope he was there for the encore. At last, something good that came out of a book! He also wasn't sure if Snape figured out if he was a squib.
The boy was supposedly bright, but he never questioned why Argus never showed him any spells. He went and looked them up on his own.
"That's not exactly what I meant, but I am glad to here that the two of you are dealing well with the situation."
What situation was that? Severus wondered why Dumbledore even bothered talking to him. Moron was probably in here to sample any candy that Filch confiscated. Even though it was repetitious, Severus still wished Dumbledore would die choking on one. Simple and ignoble.
Later that night, Severus pondered more important things. What did these papers of his father's mean? They were old, about military or government business, and meant nothing to him.
The archaic language in the house paperwork was clearer to him. There was even a little map to show what little strip of land was their front garden, which Severus believed was the space directly in front of the door, and the plot of dirt in the back that they had fenced in.
The next piece of paper in the box was his mother's gobstone certificate so he put his father's stuff back on top. He was not ready for gobstones, or trying to figure out why his mother would save crap.
Severus lied down and studied his mother's wand and compared it to his own.
He already knew they were both made of dark wood. Perhaps his was a little darker, but they could be the same and just had natural variation. His was less than an inch longer than hers. The only real difference was the handles. His circled in horizontal bands, hers was vertically lined in an octogonal, no nine-sided grip. Was that a nonagon? Nine sides or 1,260 degrees. Was there something special about that? He was born on the ninth. And Severus was a nonentity.
For the rest of the week, the students grumbled about the unrelenting cold for their Hogsmeade weekend, and were delighted Prof. Slughorn did not return. Well, the Ravenclaws weren't happy, but they're Ravenclaws. The Slytherins actually got Prof. Upsilon to fill in as their head of house. He broke into poor English for the first and second years, but everyone else either had to speak Greek or to hell with them. He was strange. He also visited their common room in the evening, but not in his pajamas. He told a story every night too.
Without Slughorn around, Severus felt that Dumbledore must be bloody bored because he kept wandering around the castle. To provide more choking hazards, Severus imitated Wilkes and transfigured lots of sherbet lemons. Dumbledore struck him as the sort that would eat candy off the floor, if he thought no one was watching.
Lily was nervous about Saturday. Sev said they'd shag before he took a nap, but in a way, it sounded like he was using it to bargain for time to sleep. She also had been spending some time away from Severus looking around the library at those new helpful books, other than pleasing her hard-working wizard by cooking, cleaning and popping out little wizard juniors.
All her thoughts of Severus not wanting to shag her left as soon as they were alone after breakfast Saturday. Lily stripped their clothes off, and threw herself on him hardly before he was finished casting spells to make them comfortable, secure and quiet. Over an hour later, Lily was sweaty, very satisfied and … tired. That was new.
"Don't get dressed, Sev. I want to give you a massage."
"I don't think massaging it is going to help for a bit, Lily."
"Not there. I meant your shoulders and back."
"I have a potion to help me fall asleep."
"How about you take half of it so you don't miss lunch." Lily ran her hand along his side. Was he thinner?
"All right," he agreed. If he slept all day, Lily would be bored.
"Get comfy, and lay on your stomach."
"Can't I put on some clothes?"
"I have a blanket for us, Sev, and besides, I've seen it all," she said widening her eyes and raising her eyebrows.
Severus thought Lily was mad. Now his whole body. Being fascinated by his cock was certifiable enough. She also said Spinner's End was brilliant. He'd like to see her say that if he sent her outside to take a piss in this weather.
He cleaned up where they had been shagging and lay down with a transfigured pillow and the blanket Lily offered him. Severus drank half the potion, and Lily took the remainder and put it aside. She then straddled him from behind and pushed his hair out of the way to start on his neck.
Lily's fingers kneading the back of his neck felt odd. Perhaps it was what she was doing. His flesh did not have any give so there was nothing for her to move or prod. The potion relaxed him, but then he felt his bum getting slimy from Lily. Why did she leak like that? When the guys were talking about what they did not like about girls physically, they never mentioned gallons of goo leaking out of them afterwards. Severus knew some of it was from him, but he had seen Lily coax it out of him enough times now to know he did not produce bucketfuls. He hoped she cleaned it up.
Severus was still twitchy as Lily spread her hands to move from his neck to his shoulders. This was supposed to help him relax. If he trusted her enough to touch his thing and be completely undressed, why was there a problem with this?
She moved her hands down to his waist and pushed up his back on each side of his sharply defined spine.
Sighing as his shoulder jerked as she stopped to trace a shallow line, Lily leaned down and kissed a patch of heavy pockmarks, before stretching out on top of Severus.
Severus's body was not comfortable. Rather than making it obvious that she was uneasy, Lily said, "Budge Sev, or you'll end up crushed beneath me."
"Mmm," was all he replied as he rolled onto his side.
Lily let herself get rolled with him, and ended up with her face tucked close to the back of his neck. She pushed his hair aside so her mouth was against his skin. Her head was resting on the pillow so she should remain comfortable like this for a while. Lily let her upper hand drift in front of him, but put it on his chest to hug him, rather than going lower.
Severus was snoring within minutes.
Lily let herself doze off, listening to him.
She woke, but did not feel like moving at first.
Sev still snored, and she matched his rhythm, breathing through her nose on his neck. Lily could enjoy this all the time. She wriggled her body against his back, and kissed his neck then moved her mouth along his shoulder. Lifting herself up on her elbow, she moved to the outside of his shoulder and went further along his arm, while looking over him.
Sev's mouth was open, and he was drooling. Did he do that all the time when he slept? Snores and drools, what a catch.
Lily took this chance to slowly lower the blanket off his back and look at it carefully. His bottom was horrible. It did not feel lumpy, but the skin was terribly uneven under her fingertips. His snoring hesitated a couple times while she explored. He did not make any other noise, so Lily could not determine if he was in pain or discomfited by her touch. She leaned down and kissed the base of his spine before sliding out from behind him, and covering him back up.
Now that she was the only one awake, Lily was self-conscious of being nude? She got around to the other side of Severus, sat down, and cast a warming charm on herself. It would not be fair to clothe herself after she told Sev that he could not dress.
Looking at his face, Lily noticed Severus had mostly closed his mouth so drool was no longer leaking out. Not that she did not like Sev drooling. That was cute. Now, his face was loose. Not concentrating on anything, and without thoughts disturbing him.
Severus was confusing. So many things he would shrug off and within days claim it was old, or in the past. Lily got angrier than Sev over some of them, but it was completely understandable that an injury to his mother was unforgivable.
Lily did not hold her in high regard, but to suffer for days, or maybe longer in her mind, since she was not sure of Mrs. Snape's sanity, and die without given a chance to see her husband or son one last time? Lily was sure she recognized both of them at least, even if Sev had to snap his fingers in front of her face to get her attention.
Nothing could be done about Sev's mum now. And Dumbledore? It wasn't a crime to not pass along information. Lily and Severus could have a personal vendetta against him, but what good what that do? Would the Marauder-loving protector of bad boys who attacked the female students care that someone's mum was dead because of him?
Sev's mum did nothing for him. If she was still alive, Severus would probably be with her now, and not at school. Lily did not know what could be done for Sev's mum. Would they have been able to hire someone to take care of her while Severus finished school? Sev had no money.
Lily did not want Severus to suffer so much. She did not want him to forget either. What was she supposed to do?
Being a Black, Regulus was used to kiss-ups to himself, his parents, and uncle Cygnus's family.
Horace Slughorn took the cake however, both figuratively and literally. The man had made himself a guest at Number Twelve Grimmauld Place for days.
The house was full with guests. Regulus had seen Slughorn in his silk pajamas many times at school, but when he came to the breakfast table in them in front of his mother, it was indecent.
And the way he was so charming, comforting, and simply enough to make Regulus noisily expel everything from his stomach. He was doing this on purpose, but why? Slughorn would disappear for a day or so with other students when a family member died, and was an avid funeral attendant. He had lots of reasons to be anywhere but Hogwarts, but even an idiot like Dumbledore would realize he took off for days.
The headmaster could think that Slughorn took a real interest in his students, but the man didn't even bother taking Snape home. He let Sprout do it, and no one in Slytherin thought she did a very good job because the two of them were back for lunch.
It wasn't that Snape was liked, but the school's rhetoric about how every student was welcome, even muggleborns, was continually exposed to be a sham by the knutless half-blood. There was nothing fair about his treatment. Two parents died so he was excused from two classes, one each, and still had detention every night for no reason. Although Reg saw Snape daily, the only crack in his facade was he was looking ill, or more so than usual.
Dumbledore, Slughorn, and all the rest of them were such hypocrites. Like this Dark Lord, father was a muggle and mother a squib. Hypocrisy was everywhere … Merlin's balls, was Slughorn going back to the funeral buffet for more food? Maybe he should remove the selection of bottles from the mixed drink cart, and use that to get his overloaded plate back across the room. Now that the funeral was over, he better get out of their house and waddle his bloody self to the next free meal.
Drowning his sorrow in food showed that Horace was a man of deep feelings, he shared with Walburga. Much like herself. Poor woman, who's fine figure was hidden beneath her unhappiness.
Eldest son was a monumental disappointment, and now the untimely loss of her physically fit husband leaving her with a young boy to raise. All on her own, and with so many potential enemies out there.
There were no real clues to Orion's death. The meat cleavers that would appear in their house and sunk into the front door of number twelve could have been left by any of them, not just the Parkin family. That was a pity too. This was an excellent home. Some of the wealthiest wizards preferred some remote estate, but it was a sign of true sophistication when one lived in the heart of London, like Walburga.
And the food … well, Horace simply could not get enough of this fine cuisine. Obviously the Black family, especially Walburga and poor, little Regulus, needed his assistance for the time being.
Albus had headed to Hogsmeade in the wake of the students with some vague ideas. Asking Severus how he was, was not resulting in any honest answers. His mind was also closed to legilemency, but his dark glares spoke volumes.
He joined the students at Honeyduke's and while idly making his selections and requesting samples, spent close to two hours waiting for some sign of the bereaved Slytherin. At last, he considered that Severus had probably gone to the candy store first thing. Albus would have, if he were in his shoes.
He went over to the Three Broomsticks, ordered a little pick-me-up refreshment and asked Rosmerta if she had seen Severus yet. Even after Albus tried to describe him at length, Rosmerta had no idea who he meant.
Although Severus did not strike Albus as the typical Zonko's customer, he went there also, but still did not find him.
Thinking hard while walking down the street, and trying to visualize where he would go when he was depressed and miserable, Albus caught sight of the Hog's Head, down the side street. It would not be where he'd go, but the Hog's Head was depressed and miserable. Perhaps it attracted unhappy patrons, in addition to its normal group of those seeking cheap drinks without anything extra, like ambiance, lights, clean glasses, unsticky floors, and friendly smiles.
His eyesight still adjusted to the dark interior with its eye-watering miasma of smoke and goat stink, when a familiar voice sneered, "Lost?"
Albus turned to look at his brother who was pretending to wipe a drinking glass clean. Since he was not addressed by name, Albus decided to return the favor. "No, I was looking for a particular student."
With an obvious look around the room to indicate there were currently no Hogwarts students at the tables, the glass wiper replied, "Oh."
"Perhaps you could tell me if he was here already today?"
"You have no business prying into who my patrons are. The students are welcome here, and I am law-abiding."
Getting annoyed, Albus replied, "It's not like that. I know he's of age."
"Then what do you care?"
"Stop being -"
A twinkle lit in Aberforth's eyes, as he crowed, "You did something. I know that guilty look. Whose life did you ruin this time?"
"I didn't come in here to pick a fight with you."
"Nose still smart from last time?"
Albus rolled his eyes, and quietly said, "Just tell me, has Severus Snape been in here?"
"Aren't you a bit late on that one?"
"What?"
"It wasn't today. Months ago. Knowing you, you probably saw three little innocent girls getting lured here by drooling and panting boys. I saw three lusting Gryffindor girls dragging three boys upstairs."
"What?"
"Don't go fogging your spectacles over Gryffindors touching Slytherins, you self-righteous prick. They knew what they were about … wait, didn't you have something to do with that werewolf?"
"The Ministry investigated that."
"Fat load of good they did. The beast got locked up, but the filth that thinks it's funny to play with werewolves bought his way to freedom. My pub's still open that time of night so my goats are out back. My girls could have been eaten up, like it did to your students."
Albus was not here to inquire about goats. "Was he in here today or not?"
"Nah. If any fellow brought his girl in here for a Valentine's Day date, she'd bang his head 'gainst the table till the white meat showed."
"Date?"
"You're around them so much you get blind to that sort of thing? You recognize it by one boy holding one girl's hand. Always seen in Hogsmeade immediately following Valentine's Day. Huge weekend for Honeydukes, the Three Broomsticks, and Puddifoots – that's more your speed. Also Zonkos for the lads that did not find a girl wanting to hold their sticky fingers."
Albus gave that some thought. Severus date? His parents recently died so … he tried to remember. When Albus's father died, he remembered the letter. His emotions were distant. He had not seen him in a long time, and being in Azkaban was sort of like being dead already. His mother's death was entirely different. He canceled his plans with Doge, and headed home immediately. Dating was not ... no, he was home only a short while before he met Gellert. They did not date, but they talked and shared ideas and that was so much better than Albus's trips to Hogsmeade as a young teen with the fellows and later some girls. There may have been a hand held here and there, but there was none of this 'knowing what they were about'. Definitely not. There was candy, a butterbeer, and the walk to and from the school. In fact, Albus would have been frightened if some girl tried to drag him upstairs.
"Oh that's right, your heart's a shriveled little lump of ice."
"I didn't come in here for insults," Albus said.
"That's the only thing I'd serve you for free."
Severus eventually woke with Lily stroking her fingers over his face. They began kissing, holding each other, moving their bodies in ways that felt wonderfully natural, and then made love slowly, except for when Lily needed to be Lily.
Hoping that once for him was enough this time, Severus suggested, "You mentioned lunch earlier?"
"We missed it in the Great Hall. Kitchen?"
"All right. What did you want to do after that?"
"Don't you need more sleep?"
"I feel better. Resting with you works wonders, Lily."
"You can work wonders too, Sev," Lily answered, while stretching her arms overhead while she continued sitting on his lap. When Severus did not take her blatant hint, she leaned forward to put her breast to his mouth.
It was at least another hour before they were dressed.
Albus realized he shouldn't have let Aberforth's comments get to him. He was also humbled when he realized he wasted time in Hogsmeade. Mr. Filch's list reported that Severus had not left the castle. Braving the cold for candy, butterbeer and hand holding was all wrong for someone like Severus. Normally, he was practical. Right now, maybe not. However, Severus did frequent the kitchens so Albus headed that way to see if the elves had seen him today.
Miss Evans passed him and barely returned his greeting. He stopped and turned. She had been carrying a picnic basket. Not unusual in late spring, but in freezing temperatures?
Casting a charm to render himself invisible, Albus followed. Perhaps now he'd find out what he could do to repair the damage he had done.
The news caught up with Sirius in Casablanca.
Apolline wanted to see big animals, other than Sirius, so they arranged a tour of the Dark Continent, including safaris and Victoria Falls. They were only beginning, and planned to end up in Egypt in about a month or two. There was no hurry.
The first thing Sirius thought was 'So the old man is dead? Good.' A slow grin spread on his face as he nodded in satisfaction. He didn't have to do anything since he wasn't allowed in England. Too bad, so sad.
The old bastard deserved it for kicking him out of the house and disowning him, instead of making the effort to clear his name. The allowance he and Apolline had to eek out a living on was a pittance compared to what was in the Black vault.
Besides, Apolline wouldn't like him taking a leak on his father's coffin anyway. She was a stickler for manners around company.
Lily returned to their furnished lair. Severus opened his eyes when she entered. He had already set out a chess board with his mother's set on the table in front of the monstrous divan that dominated this room.
"If you are still tired, you can go back to sleep after we eat."
He shrugged, "I'm fine. Besides wouldn't you want me slightly tired to beat me?"
"I'm beating you whether you're awake or in a coma, Sev."
Phi stirred from her nice perch that recently had its water bowl freshened by Severus, and dove past Lily at something.
"Dropping bacon behind you?" Severus asked.
"No," replied Lily. "Maybe your bird wants to go out?"
"She'd tell me," Severus replied. He had taken her out a short time ago when Lily was on her errands.
Lily laughed. She had already seen Phi's potty dance.
Albus gave a brief sigh of relief. The bird sensed him. Hopefully, he confused it enough for it to ignore him, but not to the extent that they considered it ill.
This room was cozy. All it needed was a fireplace. Albus remembered an older relative having a sofa such as that. It was very uncomfortable, and so deep that it swallowed him up as a child.
Severus sat on it lengthwise, his legs stretched out across the seat, with some new bed pillows propped against the thinly upholstered massive wooden arm to make it more comfortable for his back. They had a folded blanket draped over the back.
"I got pease pudding for you," Lily announced as she started unloading her transfigured basket. "Can I move the chess set for now?"
"Sure."
Lily laid out all her food. Besides pease pudding, there was also a nice-sized ham joint to go with it, along with some vegetables and fruit. Looking at it away from the kitchen, perhaps it was too big for Lily to eat alone. Luckily Phi was like a rubbish disposal.
She got together a boring plate for Sev with a potato and some plainly prepared vegetables, and handed it over to him, before getting a lovely plate together for herself. "Did you want all these cherries?" Lily asked, "Or can I put some on the side for Phi?"
"Could you please pass them over to me, Lily?"
Lily looked at them. They looked all right to her. She gave them to Severus.
He didn't study them, but offered one to Phi almost immediately.
The bird acted odd, or was it a new trick? Rather than flying, she walked across the floor and pulled herself up the divan arm until Sev reached down to give her a boost up.
Lily frowned in silence. Phi should not be that close to him while he was eating. It was a bad habit. As she took a seat on the opposite side, Severus asked, "Could you please sit next to me, Lily?"
"I have a plate full of ham, Sev," Lily pointed out. It had a distinctive smell that he may not care for.
She saw his eyes shift from side to side as he replied, "Mmmm."
He cast a couple spells nonverabally then muffilato. "Phi thinks something followed you in. Maybe Peeves? But I don't find any ectoplasmic substances still here."
Lily shrugged in response, and replied, "Maybe he'll compose a chess song. There's already a rhyme for pease pudding."
"There is?" he asked, lifting the muffilato.
"Yeah, you know pease porridge hot?"
"Oh, I thought that was about porridge."
"Maybe it's both in the same pot."
"I'm salivating at the thought."
"I doubt it, Sev," Lily replied, attacking her ham to slice it into bite-sized pieces. Phi communicating with Severus was unreliable. It could have been something small or shiny that got her attention, or Lily carrying food.
Severus ate and gave some items to Phi, while straining his ears to hear anything unusual. The feeling of being watched could be in his own mind, rather than something in here. Perhaps he was nervous because Lily devoured all that ham, except for the bone in the center, and was filling her plate with other items now. Rather than pease porridge, Jack Sprat and his wife would be more appropriate. Besides the curse from the werewolf wounds, could shagging have something to do with her large appetite?
Once he was done, Severus climbed over the back of the divan, rather than disturb Lily while she was gorging herself, and took Phi's food bowl and filled it for her with different foods.
He was going to have to write to that store in Diagon Alley about healthy raven food, but he had little money left to buy anything for her. Bowls and things for her comfort could be transfigured. The house elves felt food made with suet, of all things, was good for her in the winter to keep her energy high. Books and Phi agreed, and it wasn't just a glob of fat, but it was packed with seeds, nuts and fruit.
He sorted out what was left to neaten the table, and put together some fruit for him to snack on while they played chess. With this uneasy feeling that they weren't alone, Severus did not want to expose him or Lily to a possible voyeur, even if it wasn't something as immature as Peeves. He felt when Lily and him decided to play chess earlier that it was unlikely they'd actually play. Lily probably had at least a dozen sexual positions still in mind for this afternoon, now that she was rested and fed.
Mr. Snape and Miss Evans were rather … domestic. Even if Aberforth was right that Albus did not understand what happened on a date between a boy and a girl, chess for Valentine's Day?
Minerva was rather challenging, and she and Albus may eat while playing, but they were definitely not on a date when they played each other. Perhaps this removal from the rest of Hogwarts was helpful to Mr. Snape?
Severus had nowhere to go, other than the empty home of his parents, hence the reason for his quick return to the school. He did not seem to be in any distress right now.
Lily frowned at the board. What was she doing wrong? She did all right against Mary or Helen.
Severus pretended he wasn't concentrating by playing with his plate of berries and apple slices.
He thought he heard something in the corner, and was trying to watch it out of the corner of his eye when he noticed Lily palm one of his knights off the board.
"If you want to put some of your pieces back into play, go ahead, Lily."
"Really?"
"It doesn't matter. It's a game."
Lily was already rousing her pieces to replace them on the board. "How about if we upped the stakes, Sev?"
"Stakes?"
"Strip chess."
"Don't be silly."
"Huh?"
"There's a certain sanctity regarding a game of chess," Severus replied, but Lily noticed his eyes were looking around the room, rather than at her or the game.
She sighed. Sev really thought there was something watching them? He was so paranoid, and he hardly understood anything Phi said, if she was saying anything.
Mary messed him up more with that bird than … Mary. Could it be Mary? What would she do? What could she do? Lily knew Gryffindors, other than herself, could do some pretty stupid and destructive things. Mary wanted Severus, but he would be too smart for her? Or was Severus's distrust of everyone rubbing off on Lily? Lily couldn't expect him to suddenly see there was not someone waiting to hurt him everywhere he went. This current fear of his might be leftover from being undressed so long earlier today for her. Severus was crazy like that.
Not quite doubting Sev's sanity, Lily asked Mary later, "Were you watching us earlier today?"
"Why would I watch you?"
"Never mind."
"Guilt catching up to you?"
"No."
"And what did you tell Severus about me?" Mary demanded. "He won't even look at me."
Having to live with Mary, Lily told the hugest lie ever. "Uh, Severus didn't say it as such, but you sort of remind him of his mum."
"I do?"
"He's pretty upset over her."
"But they say a man wants a wife that reminds him of his mother. She was pureblood, right?"
A wife like their mother? Lily was nothing like Mrs. Snape. Mary was madder than Severus. Not sure whether Sev's mother was or not, Lily simply agreed, "I believe so."
Mary was heartened. What was a pity shag after his parents died? Plenty of people's first was nothing memorable. It was who ended up with the ring on her finger, and that was going to be Mrs. Mary Snape.
Severus was in bed looking at paperwork again. This time he dug into his mother's.
He sighed because his mother did not do well on her OWLs. Not well at all, but she had all his NEWT level texts? Did she lie to her parents and they bought her all the books? He dug down and found her NEWT grades. She took tests in all the subjects he had books for, but still scored many A's. Were standards crappier in the 1940s than they were in the 1970s? Or did 'A' used to stand for Awesome?
She had pages full of pedigree. Why bother? When did any of these families do anything for her? Her parents only had her. There were no aunts, uncles or cousins for him to have some tearful reunion with. Years were listed as his grandparents' deaths. Eileen's father in 1949, and her mother in 1951. Severus' parents married in 1953, and he was born in 1960.
He did not know much about other families and how they decided how many children to have. Most families had more children. Was seven years the right amount of time to wait to have a first child?
He had heard from other Slytherins about fertility. Something about pureblood women were not animals so were only expected to have one or two children during their lifetime, but some of them never had children at all, even with potions and charms. Was that why his parents only had him, or was he such a disappointment, they decided not to waste any time or resources having a second one?
More papers with names and dates with the Gringotts logo. What was this crap, and why would goblins care what wizards were related to who? His mother was the daughter of either her mother or father, then that grandparent was related to someone and so on. Some of these went back to people that were alive in the 1600s. What a fucking waste of parchment and whoever wrote this shit up. No wonder why everyone around here was obsessed with who their parents were.
Severus sorted her parchments into neat piles. She had them stacked in no particular order. Lists of family crap could go on the bottom, or just above the Gobstones parchment and her official grades. He doubted his mother's lackluster grades were what motivated Slughorn to condemn Severus as equally dull. Plenty of Slytherins were not on track to obtain decent NEWTs because they did so poorly on their OWLs, or simply did not feel like burdening themselves with more than the minimum number of classes.
Even though he was putting up a brave front for Lily, and anyone who asked, Slughorn spending days at the Blacks was hurtful. Severus would not have suitable accommodations for a house guest. Regulus was not a penniless orphan that needed assistance. He had loads of family with wealth and influence. It was simply everyone thought Sirius bloody Black's father was more important than both his parents put together. The blighter was killed in Knockturn Alley, and no one thought he made a wrong turn and ended up in the bad part of town.
Sometimes Severus was such a dunderhead. Lying on his back crying and then tears ran down into his ears. Wasn't drowning as his own mucus leaked down the back of his throat moronic enough?
Atlas received a package from Joe Rue. An article for The Practical Potioneer? One of Severus's substitutions worked. Eyeballs? Ugh. That's why Atlas did not like Potions.
Rue wanted them to review his draft. Mighty fair of him. Atlas would get together with Severus after breakfast.
At the Slytherin table, Severus had received mail of his own. He was looking at it and wondering if it was a joke. A form from Gringotts and a key, along with an accounting of who he was related to from the early 1800s. He was asked to sign it and return it with their owl to accept a vault. Was there some penalty for signing it? Why would his mother keep all these sorts of forms, instead of signing them? The goblins' owl was impatient and marching in a circle on the table, annoying him, Phi, and anyone eating in the vicinity.
Wring its neck … he thought that came more from Phi than him. He looked at it and thought Chicken. Severus dismissed the owl, rather than giving it the usual Snape treatment of throwing it into a pot of boiling water. Would his mother rather cook the owl in front of her, rather than accept the contents of a vault? There was nothing on here saying what was in it. Coins, books, art, gobstones? If anyone figured out they'd be leaving something to Eileen or Severus Snape, they would have emptied it first. Perhaps he could take all these forms to Gringotts over Easter break and have it explained to him. It was rather hard to believe that his mother did not sign them just because she felt like eating the Gringotts' owls.