"Draco." Harry said softly. Draco looked up surprised by the use of his first name. "If you had told me sixth year what was going on I would have helped you in a heartbeat. Even without knowing that you wanted to be my friend I would have helped you. No one should have to go through that. No one." He said with a stern expression.
Draco peered closely studying Harry's face. He found no lies. He smiled slightly. "I would say that is so Gryffindor of you. But I think it is more than that. It is just so you. You see the world through different eyes Harry. I really do believe you would have helped me. That is not something other people would have done. I admire that about you." He said with another small smile. Draco's words caused another wave of heat to warm his face. Draco's smile grew bigger at that.
"Okay moving on. My attempts at killing him were quite pathetic. I hadn't even tried. I just put in the basic effort to make it appear as if I was actually trying. I never ever intended anyone to drink that bottle of mead. I certainly never wanted to harm Weasley. As much as I can't stand him, I never would have actually tried to kill him. I heard what happened and I almost wanted to rush to you and admit what I did. Same for Bell. I never thought she would touch it. I never wanted to harm anyone. I promise you." Draco said with a pleading tone to it.
Harry smiled at that. "I believe you." He promised to Draco. His face instantly became relieved. "I was becoming desperate. Unsure of how to continue or what to do. I spent so much time in the room of requirement fixing that stupid vanishing cabinet. The murder attempts were easy to blunder but there was no way out of working on the cabinet. If I hadn't they would have known something was up. They were already suspicious as it was. That was a tough year for me. I couldn't confide in anyone. It wasn't like I could just tell Blaise and Pansy. They were not deatheaters so there was no way I could tell them. Frankly I am glad. I didn't want them to know how far I had sunk, I didn't want to see their disappointment in me. I was at rock bottom. Too much of a coward to do a damn thing about my life." Harry took his chin in his hands and forced Draco to face him.
"I don't think you are a coward Draco. Far from it." Draco raised his eyebrows. "You were in a hard place. There was no way out. Either you did what you were told or your family would die. That to me is a no brainer. There was only one thing you could do. Family is important. Even though I don't have one I know exactly what I would have done. Hell, I stormed the Ministry knowing full well it could be trap just to save Sirius. You were stuck in a snake pit with no way out. You did the only thing you could do. Survive. That to me in its own way shows bravery Draco. So please don't call yourself a coward. I won't stand for it." The last part was said so sternly that Draco smiled.
Relief. That was what Harry could see in Draco's silvery grey eyes. He could almost visibly see the weight being lifted from Draco's shoulders. Draco closed his eyes at those words. He savored them. Someone thought he was brave. Not just anyone. Harry bloody Potter thought what he did was the only solution. It lifted so many years of self-loathing off his shoulders. He never felt more free in his life.
"Thank you, Harry. That means a lot to me." He said quietly opening his eyes and staring into Harry's green eyes. Harry had to hold back another gasp. Draco's eyes held so much emotion in them. It was beautiful.
Draco cleared his throat. "Okay let's continue." Harry smiled and nodded. "When the time came down to it, I was on the astronomy tower with my wand pointed at Dumbledore. I couldn't go through with it. But I had always known that. He offered me protection Harry. It was everything I ever wanted. He even knew about the attempts and he still offered me protection. I wanted to take it, needed to take it. I lowered my wand and was going to do it. I was going to betray my family. I was going to betray the Dark Lord. I was finally for once in my life going against what was expected of me. But as I lowered my wand the reinforcements came in. I hadn't had any time to accept the proposal. I wanted to scream and throw a tantrum. Worst timing ever. Then Severus came in and finished what I had started. He had to though. He made the unbreakable vow with my mother. I never wanted him to kill Dumbledore. I feel guilty that he had to." Harry interrupted him.
"Don't feel guilty. Dumbledore and Snape made an agreement in the beginning of the year. Dumbledore knew of the vow he made. Plus, it would not have mattered either way. Dumbledore was dying Draco." Harry said sadly.
"Dying? How?" Draco asked confused. "Remember his black hand?" Harry asked pausing till Draco nodded. "Well it was a curse. Snape was able to withhold the curse into that hand but it was irreversible. He had a year to live. He would have died either way. Whether Snape did it or not. But also, that night I was with Dumbledore." Draco sent a sharp look at Harry.
Harry nodded. "Yes, I was on the tower that night. I saw you lower your wand. I knew you were going to accept the deal. I could see it in your face. That night Dumbledore and I had gone to a place that Voldemort hid a Horcrux." A look of horror appeared on Draco's face. Harry was slightly surprised. He figured he would have to explain what that was. Then again, his father is a very dark man. It shouldn't be a surprise.
"Is that what kept him living? Oh Merlin. Harry that is so dangerous. Horcrux. Bloody hell. How many did he have?" Draco asked. Worried about the answer. Harry smiled at the worry Draco had for him. "He had seven." The look of horror was back on his face.
"Seven? Blimey. Is that what you, Weasley and Granger were doing? Is that why you broke into Bellatrix's vault?" Draco asked a little awed. He was so impressed with Harry. Seven Horcruxes. That was so unheard of. So dangerous. No wonder the damn evil bastard was so hard to kill.
Harry smiled at the rush of questions. "Yes, to all of them. We found and destroyed them all. Two had already been taken care of. One of them was the diary your dad passed to Ginny in our second year. I stabbed that one with a basilisk fang in the Chamber of Secrets." Admiration appeared in Draco's eyes. Harry smirked at that.
"One was Salazar Slytherins ring. It was destroyed by Dumbledore. The ring was what gave him the black hand. It had been cursed. So that left five more to go. That night we had gone to see about finding another one." Draco was surprised. He couldn't believe Dumbledore would take Harry along with him. So dangerous. What had the man been thinking?
"When we got to the place that it was held in, there was a locket sitting in a basin under an unknown liquid. I offered to drink the liquid but Dumbledore refused. The liquid drove his worst memories to the forefront of his mind. The liquid was making him delirious. He couldn't even understand who I was or where he was. The liquid was killing him. I have no doubt about that. When we got to the tower we were going to have Snape take a look at him. I doubt even Snape could have helped him. If by some miracle he had been able to save him the curse from the ring would have killed him in a couple months anyways. So there is no need to feel guilty for Snape killing him. Dumbledore told him that if it came down to it that Snape would have to be the one to issue the killing curse. He did not want you to do it. He said he was worried about your soul." Draco smiled sadly. Leave it to Dumbledore to have everything planned out.
It was nice to hear that he was not to blame. But it also left a bitter taste in his mouth. Everything he had done that year was pointless. Dumbledore was going to die anyways. He stressed and worried and felt guilty all this time and it was for nothing.
"How do you know what he said?" Draco asked curiously. "Snape showed me his memories right after he was attacked by Nagini." Draco raised an eyebrow in surprise. Harry smiled at the look on his face. "Oh I know. I was shocked too. This might come as a surprise to you but I have hated Snape for years." Draco snorted. "You know that is a surprise." He said with heavy sarcasm. Harry grinned in response.
"Yes, well there has been bad blood between the two of us for years. I remind him of my father. I never even knew my dad but he held a grudge against me. It was unfair to me. But in a way, I can understand. My dad was a prat to him. For no reason, really. But I am not my dad so I am a little bitter about that. Snape was my mother's best friend. They knew each other before they joined Hogwarts. He switched sides when he found out that my mother was going to be targeted by Voldemort. Since the moment she died he had only ever been on the light side. He was a well-played spy. I think part of his hatred of me was for show. At least I hope so. If he is going to hate me, it should be for something I did. Not what my father did." Harry broke off glaring at the ground. Draco reached over and gave him the reassuring pat this time.
Harry gave him a grateful look. "Anyways, after the snake attack he gave me the memories letting me see everything. It was a lot to take in." There was sadness in his tone. Which confused Draco. There was a story there. He just knew it. "Were you finished with your story Draco?" Harry asked quietly changing the subject. Draco frowned slightly at the tone and the subject change. He could tell he didn't want to talk about it.
"No. I can continue." Harry nodded. "After Dumbledore died it got worse at home. My father was punished for my failure. Snape was regarded very highly after that. It surprises me how well he acted. I never would have guessed he was a spy. Voldemort nearly moved into the manor. It was a headquarters of sorts. So many dark wizards constantly going in and out of there. It was awful. The murders and the tortures going on there. Then when everything started changing and the whole world was looking for you, I was scared. I wanted to help you. I wanted to leave and never look back. I was so beyond lost. I was depressed, moody and broken. I was miserable. The horror of having to see him so often. It was disturbing. I hardly ate, hardly slept. I didn't know myself any more. I hated waking up every single day. Hated myself. I had nothing to live for. Nothing to keep me going. Nothing to strive for. It was bloody awful." Draco shuddered.
Harry felt a warmth of understanding. He knew exactly what he was feeling. He found someone who could understand him. Someone who knew the horrors of the world and was haunted by them. He found a kindred spirit. It didn't matter that they had been on the opposite side of the war.
"I wasn't the same anymore. I still am not. You don't even want to know of the things they did in my house. I still have nightmares. Then one day out of the blue you showed up. I was so stunned to see you I couldn't think straight. I knew it was you the moment I saw you. There was no way the hex could cover you completely. I knew that they wanted me to tell them it was you. I couldn't do that. I couldn't Harry. You were the only chance of defeating Voldemort. The only one. Not only that but there was no way, no how I could ever hand you over to the Dark Lord. Never. So I lied and said it wasn't you. It wasn't hard lying. I thought it would have been. But I knew I was doing the right thing. When you guys escaped, I had never been more thankful in my entire life. It didn't matter what they did to me after that. You were safe. That was all that mattered." Harry frowned and held up a hand.
"What do you mean it didn't matter what they did to you?" Harry asked sharply. Draco looked down at the ground. "Well they knew I had lied. There was no proof but they knew I lied. Voldemort was so angry when he arrived and you were nowhere to be seen. He punished the whole room. Me twice, for not realizing it was you." Harry gasped. He had hoped that Draco would have been okay. He never knew. He felt guilty that Draco had gone through pain because he had lied for him.
"You have no idea how hard it was to lie under the cruciatus curse. The pain was so unbearable. I would have given my life to end the suffering. But there was no way in hell I was going to admit to them what I did. They were a little suspicious but they dropped it after the second curse." Draco was cut off suddenly. Harry threw his arms around Draco and hugged him.
"Thank you, Draco. I am so sorry you had to go through that for me. If you hadn't lied to them I know I would have died that day. I know it. You saved our lives that day." Harry whispered. Draco was taken aback by the hug. It took a minute to hug him back. He was surprised at the thanks.
Draco pulled away from the hug after a couple moments. "You never have to thank me Harry. I did the right thing." He argued quietly. Harry shook his head. "So stubborn Draco. Is that a Slytherin thing?" Harry teased. Draco blinked for a couple seconds before he grinned. "Actually yes it is." He replied. Harry grinned back at him.
"So that is it. That is my story. I again apologize for everything I have done and said to you Harry. I never wanted to. I wish we could have been friends." Draco said sadly staring at Harry.
Harry gave him a slight smile. "Thank you for apologizing. But what we had was not a one-way rivalry. I said many things to you as well throughout the years. So I would like to say sorry to you as well Draco. I will accept your apology if you can accept mine." Harry said a little nervously.
Draco was stunned. He never expected Harry to actually forgive him for the things he did. "Harry, you don't have to apologize but I will accept it." He said smiling slightly.
Harry grinned. "Good. And Draco?" Draco looked up to see Harry with his hand held out. He was confused. "Hi the names Harry Potter and I would like to be your friend if you will have me." Harry said a little nervously. He was worried that Draco would reject the friendship.
Draco blinked rapidly staring at Harry's hand. He looked at Harry's eyes to make sure he was understanding correctly. He could see the worry in his eyes. He was worried he was going to reject it. That thought alone made him smile. He reached out and grabbed a hold of his hand. "Hi Harry. I am Draco Malfoy I would love to be your friend." He said with a grin that reached his eyes.
Harry released a breath he hadn't been aware he had been holding. He was so glad Draco didn't reject him. He laughed loudly. Enjoying this moment. Draco smiled widely at Harry's laugh. It was a lovely change from the broken boy he saw when he walked up to him. This was the Harry he knew. This was the Harry that should always be here.
"I haven't felt happy like this in ages. I actually thought I was incapable of emotions anymore." Harry said with a sigh. Draco's smile vanished. He furrowed his brows in confusion. "What do you mean Harry? Are you okay?" He asked gently. Harry sighed again and looked into Draco's eyes. He could see the genuine worry and concern in them. It warmed him to see that. To know that the only one who could understand him was worried about him.
Draco gasped at the pain and lifeless look in Harry's eyes. "No, I'm not okay." Harry choked out looking at the ground. It could have been so easy to lie to him. He had lied to Hermione and Ron every time they asked the same question. But this time he was just so sick of lying. It felt good to admit that something was wrong. Draco understood Harry. Lying felt wrong.
Draco reached out and held Harry's chin in his hand and forced Harry to look at him. "Do you want to talk about it? I am here for you. I always have been." Draco reminded him. Harry tilted his head slightly considering his words. He hadn't even told Ron or Hermione what was wrong. He knew they could never understand. Hermione would treat him like a broken toy that needs to be prodded. Or a puzzle that needs a solution. Ron would just avoid the problem altogether and act like nothing was wrong. But Draco was different. He seemed to be the only one who would understand. The only one who wouldn't be afraid of the darkness surrounding him. Draco had his own darkness and it didn't scare Harry away from him. So he knew that he would not scare away Draco.
Harry slowly nodded. Draco turned fully facing him as he tucked his legs underneath him. He nodded letting Harry know that he was ready whenever he was. Harry took a deep breath. "It is a rather long story." He warned. Draco snorted. "I have all the time in the world Harry." He stated with a warm smile.
"I don't even know where to begin. I am such a mess Draco. I would like to say that it was only after the battle but that would be a lie. I have been a mess my whole life. I guess I will start with my childhood. I know that everyone thinks that I was a pampered prince but that is the furthest thing from the truth." Draco's eyes widened. That had been his assumption as well. The way everyone treated him in the wizarding world he had assumed that his own relatives treated him the same. Also with the way his godfather spoke of Harry that is what he had thought.
"I lived with my Aunt, Uncle and cousin. They are muggles. They knew about magic but they hid this knowledge from me. They wanted to and I quote 'stomp the magic' out of me. They tried too." Draco's breath caught in his throat. He did not like the sound of this. "As a kid, I was hated by them and I had no idea why. They treated me like a slave and a bother. House elves are treated better than I was. I lived to serve them. Literally. I had to do everything they asked of me. Cleaning. Cooking. You name it. They verbally abused me all the time. I was not allowed any friends. I was hardly allowed to eat. They gave me table scraps. Sometimes it was not even edible." Draco felt so much anger at these muggles. How dare they? And he thought his father was bad. At least his father fed him properly.
"It would get worse if my magic acted up. I didn't know it was magic until later on. I just thought that odd things were happening around me. I tried to tell them that it wasn't me. I lived in a cupboard under the stairs. -" He was cut off.
"Did you say a cupboard?" Draco asked in a dangerously low voice. Harry nodded. "Yes. I lived there until I left to go to Hogwarts. Eleven years in a cupboard. Could explain why I am so short. Probably stunted my growth." Harry tried to joke. Draco narrowed his eyes. He found no humor in the situation. Harry sighed.
"When I got my letter, I was so thrilled. It was a dream come true. I was so excited. I was nervous too. I was worried that I would be behind the kids who already knew about magic. I didn't know a thing about my name either. What a shock that was. I walked into the Leaky Cauldron with Hagrid and was stunned that everyone there wanted to talk to me and shake my hands. Hagrid had to explain later that night what was going on. I was so surprised. And so confused. I was just a baby Draco. The whole wizarding world was impressed and awed over my 'accomplishment' except I didn't do anything." Draco raised an eyebrow at that statement.
Harry saw the look. He shook his head. "Seriously. When Voldemort came to kill my mum, she sacrificed herself to protect me. It caused a protection on me. It sent the killing curse rebounding back at Voldemort. I didn't find this bit of information out until later. But it still stands. I did nothing. I was a baby. But the whole world was idolizing me. They put so much pressure on me. I was expected to do wonders. I was the bloody boy-who-lived. I was the golden boy. I am not this special person Draco. I never was. I couldn't be the person they wanted me to be. I was not that good in classes. I was nothing remarkable. I wanted to live up to everyone's expectations of me. I tried really hard to please everyone. I didn't want the attention. I didn't want to be the golden boy. I didn't want to be known for something that I didn't do. I didn't want to be known as The Harry Potter. I just wanted to be Harry. Just Harry. I wanted to be normal. I wanted to be just like everyone else. In the muggle world I was a freak. In the wizarding world I was just as much as a freak. I wasn't normal anywhere. I felt as if I didn't belong. I still feel that way." Harry broke of sadly. Draco reached out and squeezed his hands over one of Harry's. Harry smiled slightly in response. The warmth of Draco's hand felt like nothing he had ever felt before. His hand was giving him comfort and understanding.
"Then that year I encountered Voldemort on the back of Quirrell's head. I was protected by the same protection as before. He couldn't lay a finger on me. My touch burned Quirrell. It turned his fingers to ash. Voldemort left the body. He was a vapor. Like a shadow but not a ghost."
Draco was stunned. How could Harry think he was not special. No normal eleven year old would have been able to handle everything he has had to go through. No normal eleven year old would have been able to stand up against Voldemort like that.
"Dumbledore told me that it would only be a matter of time until Voldemort came back. I was the one who was going to have to get rid of him. Do you have any idea how much more pressure was added to me that day? I already had the whole world expecting wonders from me and now I would have to make a stand against Voldemort when he came back to power. It was a bloody nightmare. No eleven year old should have to deal with all that. It was too much at times." Harry sighed shaking his head. Draco rubbed circles over Harry's hand trying to let him know that he was there for him. Harry appreciated the effort.
"Then in our second year with the Chamber of Secrets it was worse than the previous year. I had hoped that the attention on me would have died down. It did not. With the attacks on the muggleborns and being able to speak parstletongue it was an awful year. I came face to face against Voldemort once again." Draco raised his eyebrows confused.
"Ah well I told you the diary was a Horcrux. Well Ginny had been writing in the diary since she found it. She poured her heart and soul into the diary. Literally. It latched onto her and there were moments when it would possess her. She was the one writing on the walls. She was the one that let the basilisk out. When she was taken into the chamber Ron and I went after her. While down there the diary manifested into a younger Voldemort. The same age as when he had the diary. He was seeping the life out of Ginny. When she died, he would have come back to life. He sent the basilisk after me. With some help from Dumbledore's phoenix I was able to receive the sword of Gryffindor. I used the sword and stabbed the basilisk straight through the mouth. One of the fangs embedded itself into my arm." Draco had to hold back a gasp. There was no coming back from the venom of a basilisk.
"Fawkes, Dumbledore's phoenix had an ability to heal with his tears. His tears saved me. After I was okay I used the fang and stabbed the diary. I had no idea if it would have helped. I just went off instinct. The venom from the fang pierced the book and it worked. It destroyed the diary. I had no idea it was a Horcrux at the time. So I thought nothing of it. Everyone knew I had saved Ginny's life but they did not know the details. Everyone assumed that I did something extraordinary. But I didn't. I had so much help down there. If it had not been for Fawkes than I would have died." Draco scowled. He couldn't decide if Harry was just being modest or if he really believed he wasn't special.
"After the awful year, I had I hoped that the summer with my relatives wouldn't be too bad. Unfortunately, it was. I have anger issues. Sometimes my magic reacts on its own. My Uncle's sister came for a visit. She absolutely loathes me. Derogative marks flying constantly. I couldn't even argue back. I snapped at her when she started insulting my parents. She never even met them! Next thing I know she started blowing up like a balloon. A big giant fat ugly balloon." Harry paused to smile at the memory of her bouncing off the ceiling. Draco snorted.
"I panicked after that. I took off out of the house with all my luggage and spell books. I made my way to the Leaky Cauldron where the Minister personally found me. He gave me a warning to never use my magic like that again and then told me to be weary of Sirius. That a killer was on the loose." He broke off scowling at the injustice of his godfather.